2016: A Package Odyssey (Days 3-4*): Spin Cycle, For The Moment

Well, I figured this would happen at some point, but yep, it happened. Step back from your viewing screen and hold onto your butts, folks… this post is going to suck. Up to a point.

(Thanks, virgilio72!) 

I didn’t post yesterday because I decided to try and work a bit and I was in a crappy mood because I decided chronicling this ongoing nonsense wasn’t all that therapeutic after all. I was just getting more annoyed at every person involved in this mess I’m (still) a victim of not being very helpful. USPS was giving me a slow runaround, the seller is kind of lost and asking me what to do (I’ve been passing along as much help as I can), and despite being a longtime fan, I’m about to go postal and recommend anyone I know just NOT use their local post office for anything but whatever passport services they offer. But let’s not pull that rabbit out of the hat just yet, folks.

Anyway, after a suggestion from a message board that I call the number on the USPS web site and another user comment that

The postal service is very serious about employee mail theft. They will get to the bottom of it.

Well, I would hope the hell so. I decided to pick up the phone this morning and try my luck. That turned out to be both a terrifically terrible and (very) good thing to do. Well, maybe on the “(very) good” part.

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Free Stuff Friday: Assault Suits Leynos on Steam, Anyone?

LEYNOS logo 1024x416Hokay, Ember still isn’t up and running on Steam yet, so I’m going to plan B, thanks to the fine folks at Rising Star Games! BOOM! ONE lucky person with a Steam account will win ONE absolutely FREE code for the the hard as heck Assault Suits Leynos. Post here and I’ll pick a winner tomorrow at noon!

Rules and such below the jump.

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Retro-Bit Generations Games List (So Far): Better Than Expected Makes It A Better Deal

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Click this. CLICK IT NOW!

 

While Nintendo isn’t quaking in their boots at all (this morning’s 3DS Direct was pretty magnificent), the fine folks at Retro-Bit.com have released the not quite final list of NES and SNES games appearing on their upcoming Retro-Bit Generations console and it’s a doozy:

 

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Bring the power and entertainment of an arcade to your living room with the Retro-Bit Generations – Plug and Play console. Since 2007, Retro-Bit® has been at the forefront of the retro gaming world, introducing innovative and exciting platforms to re-experience a treasured vintage gaming era. Continuing with that tradition, Retro-Bit Generations is packed with titles from world-renowned pioneer videogame developers.

 

Revisit and replay these classics on your own or with a friend with two retro-style six button controllers, for an authentic retro re-experience. Designed with a sleek user-friendly interface and an HDMI port, Retro-Bit Generations brings a new look for the old school gamer and delivers fun for all ages!

Features

Packed with popular retro games from world-renowned developers
2 USB Retro-style six button controllers
HDMI and AV Outputs
SD card slot to save and transfer game progress (SD card not included)
Sleek compact design
Intuitive user interface
Internal game save feature – Save your progress anywhere, any time!

 

Remember, this thing is supposed to retail for $59.99… and that games list isn’t even complete. If the RBG works as advertised and the controllers are solid, that already pre-sold out NES Classic mini may have a bit of competition. We’ll see, of course.

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ZAKU Is Back: Super Fighter Team Gives You A Chance To Nab This One FINAL Time

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If you’re a huge enough fan of the Atari Lynx but missed out on its first original boxed (online) retail game in years, well guess what? ZAKU is back! Super Fighter Team has heard the pleas from Lynx collectors worldwide and is reissuing the instant classic for a final time in a 400 copy run.

ZAKU on LYNX 

Just go click on that link above and get that wallet out. Or you can read my old review as you click on that link to BUY THE GAME. Whatever you’re going to do, you better do it FAST, as this is guaranteed to sell out ridiculously quickly.

Featherpunk Prime Hands-On: Plink Flamingoes Surprise With Skill

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SuperHatchGames_Logo1If you told me I’d be gushing endlessly over an old-school run ‘n gun with a modern look that just so happened to star a cybernetic FLAMINGO, I’d probably ask you what YOU were smoking. But, here I am extolling the joys of Featherpunk Prime, one hell of an indie action/platform shooter from two guys with a ton of talent.

Stephen Payne and Dan Jeffery make up Super Hatch games and their baby is headed to Steam and the Humble Store September 1st. BUY IT, I say. The game is a total blast to play, it looks phenomenal, packs in a great soundtrack from Wingcap Audio (buy it!) and from my brief stretch with a recent build, it just might be one of the better arcade-style shooters this year.

FeatherpunkPrime_CyberFlamingoOnce you get over the oddball choice of a lead character, dive in and see how tight the game is, any preconceived notions will be vaporized. The game’s gaudy neon color scheme, catchy music and excellent re-mappable controls suck you in and keep things bouncing along as the level of challenge blow you around in your seat.

The game is wonderfully balanced and (to me), plays like a Bizarro World version of Contra meets Midnight Resistance with a CYBER FLAMINGO as the hero. I’m sure a few Treasure games also influenced Super Hatch, but the important thing here is the game they’ve made manages to stand out on its own as original thanks to tat heroic metal bird and how the game makes you adore it so damn much. It’s not a “cute!” shooter at all, folks. But then animation on that metal bird is so damn priceless you’ll crack up at the genius absurdity of it all.

I’ll shut up here before this turns into a full-on review (that’s coming!). For now, head below the jump for more…
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Cathedral: Decemberborn’s 8-Bit Take, An Instant Classic In The Making

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In the works since 2014, Cathedral instantly evokes the look, sounds and gameplay of classic Nintendo Entertainment System games to the point that you’d almost think someone went and discovered a hitherto unseen prototype circa 1987 or so. That title screen below looks exactly as it should and I’m betting a nickel you’re all smiling as that music from the talented Aron Kramer plays out.


 

Helsingborg, Sweden-based Decemberborn Interactive (lead by Lead Programmer Eric Lavesson) has been hard at work making sure their baby arrives on Windows, Linux, and Mac OSX based computers in as perfect form as can be. But it’s also a hopeful note from this writer that the game reaches consoles at some point. More specifically, anything with the Nintendo brand stamped across it. That would probably big a huge honor for a team striving to recreate a classic style of game and doing such a stellar job at it. Oh, you’d love to see some GAMEPLAY? Okay, that’s covered:


 

Yeah, that hit the spot, huh? More below the jump, so… JUMP!
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Metal Gear Survive: A Hideous Nojima Game Coming in 2017

Once again, I fell asleep with my laptop on, a VERY bad thing to do. I popped up my fuzzy head to turn it off, but something told me to go poke at facebook and see what was up before I drifted back off to sleep. Oh… my. This is the second thing that caught my eye (ow!):


(thanks, IGN!) 

Oh. Hell. No. Nope. NEIN. Or in the immortal word of one very dead Sith lord:

(Thanks, CineWeekly!) 

Look. I’m not trying to say the game WILL be awful and YES, judging something by sight alone and not by playing it is ALWAYS 100% wrong. That said, Konami’s way off base treatment of Metal Gear series creator Hideo Kojima is the sole reason this video has so many dislikes on YouTube. Adding insult to injury, Kojima Productions’ versatile Fox Engine is being used to develop the new game. Yeah, it’s Konami’s property and I’m sure Kojima’s contract stated this somewhere in the fine print. But no Kojima involvement on a Metal Gear game is simply Konami pulling the wool over its own eyes and pretending we won’t notice.

(Thanks, Cinema Source!) 

Sorry, Konami. Even if this zombie-filled multiplayer mash-up is better than the Left 4 Dead games, it won’t win you back the respect of Metal Gear fans, people who love game history (making the beautiful, horrifyingly perfect P.T. vanish forever was one of the most spiteful business decisions next to whatever happened with Kojima) or anyone else who knows you’re trying very hard to show that you’re still relevant as an actual video game company.

Thanks for trying, though. PC, PS4, and Xbox One owners who don’t care and just want a(nother) good-looking shooteminnaface zombie game will eat this one up in 2017. The rest of us justifiable cranky souls will more than likely sit this dance out.

Axiom Verge Wii U: September 1 Is The Day It Comes “Home”

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Excellent. I’m literally buried in stuff to-day (one shelf of games fell over earlier!) but you all go and read THIS post by Tom Happ and then smile a lot if you haven’t seen or played Axiom Verge yet. Excellent. Back in a bit – I’m up to my nose hairs in work (and have a pile of games to get back up, to boot!)

-GW

Monster Boy And The Cursed Kingdom Gamescom 2016 Trailer: The Boy’s A Beast (Well, A Few Of Them)

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Well, wow. The Game Atelier has been busy and quiet for a bit, but there’s the reason why above. Monster Boy And The Cursed Kingdom is looking even more phenomenal and according to publisher FDG Entertainment, will be coming to PS4 and Xbox One first, followed by PC and possibly, a Nintendo console (according to NintendoLife). No speculation here on that latter point, but at least two versions of this one will be played here at DAF HQ.

-GW