Review: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

poseidon 05

Hmmm… I was going to post this pic upside down, but I wanted to not spoil the film for those who’ve yet to see it.

Yes, friends, it’s time for another episode of…

Video Store Action Heroes - Banner 9 final

Other posts can be found here, here, and here, so get in your reading, I say,

This month, we’re all going on a cruise, yay!

Well, sort of (just remember to climb the Christmas tree, or else). Ronald Neame’s 1972 classic (co-directed by Irwin Allen) is a star-filled one with impressive practical effects (well, the ship model looks these days like an expensive toy you don’t want to accidentally sit or step on while in the bath) and very cool upside down sets. While it’s not your typical “action” movie, it’s certainly exceptionally well made and packed with more than enough thrills and (wait for it…) spills galore (expect a lot of puns here, friends). As a disaster flick, it certainly wasn’t a disaster at all, raking in 93 million dollars for 20th Century Fox over its time in theaters.

poseidon_adventure_ver2_xlg

A big movie deserves a big poster, right?

These days (and a poorly received sequel plus a expensive few remakes later) is the original The Poseidon Adventure still a seaworthy film? I say yes, it still holds its water rather excellently if you throw caution to the wind and don’t go overboard with your expectations. Granted, for all its death and angst on display, the film is not as cruel as the 1969 novel was with some of its characters. One could say Stirling Silliphant’s adaptation of the Paul Gallico novel softens the impact somewhat yet still has enough drama for its target audience.

If you’re new to the film, all you need to know is how it starts and sit back to enjoy the rest (and NO, it’s not a true story):

poseidon 06

You better not think this actually happened.

Let’s just say it’s New Year’s (Rockin’, as ships do in bad weather with no ballast) Eve, stuff happens minutes after the happier vibe the film kicks off with that isn’t too good (like any New Year’s party, things can kind of get a little out of hand) and the world is turned upside down for a bunch of people (as I said, like any New Year’s party, things can kind of get a little out of hand). The survivors bond (well, sort of) and have to find their way off the doomed ship before she sinks to a watery grave like a former swimming champ does after a bit of too much exercise.

Uh, did I say this review was spoiler-free? I lied. Here’s the trailer, doing what it needs to to get 1972-era butts in theater seats:

Continue reading

Advertisements

Review: Torso (Blu-Ray)

torso_02

“Hello, I’m your masked and gloved fashionable scarf-wearing killer. Today, I shall be your GUIDE. Then I’ll have to kill you, of course.”

Torso Arrow(Lectures): Sergio Martino tells an interesting story about the film’s originally planned title in an excellent interview on this lushly produced Arrow Video disc. The film’s  producers wanted something more salacious to sell tickets, so they chose to pump up the sexual violence aspect with what they saw as a fitting title, I corpi presentano tracce di violenza carnale (The Bodies Bear Traces of Carnal Violence). where as Martino wanted to use I corpi non mostrano tracce di violenza carnale (The Bodies Bear No Traces of Carnal Violence) here after his working titles like Rosso come l’amore, nero come il terrore (Red Like Love, Black Like Terror) were rejected early on. The Torso moniker (Carnal Violence was a title created for the export release) was a choice from the film’s US distributors, by the way,  In the States, Joseph Brenner Associates worked up a new title opening, chopped out 4 minutes of footage seemingly for some gory content and likely to make the film a run a compact 90 minutes (more butts in the seats at the end of the day), changed some music cues (the great Guido & Maurizio De Angelis score was fine, thank you), and there you have it.

*Ahem* I’m starting this review much like the film does (with an intentionally dull lecture after a sexy-ish opening) as a little joke because I’ve heard some kooky grumblings over the years at how the film gets off to a slow start for about 20 minutes or so. Nonsense, I say. Torso works as an effective and disturbing popcorn flick you’ll want to gather a few like-minded giallo-loving friends up to see. Yes, those friends will have to like some copious female nudity, icky flashes of gore in two of the early murders and nearly every male in the film portrayed as a leering goon of some sort (there are some regular guys here, but as background noise or padding out the lovely Perugian scenery). But this is a film where you’re getting almost exactly what you expect from with a title like this.

Torso_06

Ooh, pardon me while I do some gift-giving. “Hey, nice lady, I got you a scarf!” Oops, I kind of got carried away in my excitement. That’s Patrizia Adiutori doing a great job playing dead, by the way.

After the murder of some friends by the above mentioned killer (Hello!), four college students decide to hoof it over to a secluded villa, only to have the killer and a few other suspects trail them. While that’s pretty much the plot here, Martino makes things quite tense as well as very 70’s sexy (well, as far as the ladies are concerned). The film tosses a few potential suspects your way as it goes on, so you’re always on the fence as to who the killer might be. The killer not only has a penchant for he ladies, he turns out to be an equal opportunist, as the bodies pile up and more are claimed by a few means.

Continue reading

Review: The Pyjama Girl Case (Blu-Ray)

The Pyjama Girl_03

La calma prima della tempesta: Ray Milland as Inspector Thompson does a bit of gardening (sans FROGS to interrupt him).

The Pyjama Girl Case coverLoosely based on a true story (that’s still a tad unresolved), Flavio Mogherini’s 1977 film La Ragazza Dal Pigiama Giallo (aka 1978’s The Pyjama Girl Case) is a pretty depressing flick to sit through when all is said and done. It’s skillfully edited to spool out two tales: one of a retired police detective (Ray Milland) coming back to work on the trail of the person who murdered and mutilated a woman, and the second is the story of Glenda (Dalila Di Lazzaro), a Dutch immigrant who comes to Australia, gets a job as a waitress and later ends up a victim of a particularly horrifying crime.

Even more horrifying are the police coming up with the idea to preserve and display the unidentified remains to the public (yes, this actually happened in real life for a whopping ten years) and painfully getting information though beating up a few suspects (not sure if it’s 1977 addition, but man, is it so not an OK thing to do even if a guilty party is eventually found). Nevertheless, Milland is clearly having a blast in his role, and Di Lazzaro is a lovely, tragic victim you want to see not a bad thing happen to. The film even makes you feel sorry for a suspect in her murder, but you’ll have to watch this to see how the director plays that out.

(Thanks, Blazing Trailers!)

In fact, save for Milland’s Detective Thompson who’s eager to take on the case, most of the detectives and investigators here seem to be all too happy (and incompetent) with finding the quickest means to end the case, even if it means one seemingly obvious suspect is discovered early on who’s a pure creep and not a killer. This adds an air of hopelessness to the narrative as the film plays out and you witness the results of haphazard work (save for the one man who should be home with his flowers). Granted, poor Glenda would still be deceased even through the shoddy police work, as Detective Thompson is only called after she’s been disposed of.

Continue reading

Severin Films Brings the Sleaze (and We Wouldn’t Have it Any Other Way)

Oh, boy. Severin Films has a nifty set of three horror-filled films you’ll want and a hell of a lot of ways to order them.

Here you go, in the speediest manner as possible. You get to do all the clicking and  buying, I get to be as lazy as hell because it’s been a busy day and my poor wrists are giving out thanks to too much typing. Get ready to pick up some nicely restored vintage sleaze:

The Bundle

So sleazy, but you know that’s how you like it, uh-huh.

The ByPagThrope Bundle: https://severin-films.com/shop/bypagthrope-bundle/

Paganini Horror [2-Disc LE Blu-ray]: https://severin-films.com/shop/paganini-horror-le-blu-ray/

Paganini Horror [Blu-ray]: https://severin-films.com/shop/paganini-horror-blu/

Paganini Horror [DVD]: https://severin-films.com/shop/paganini-horror-dvd/

Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory [2-Disc Blu-ray]: https://severin-films.com/shop/werewolf-girls-dormitory-blu/

Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory [DVD]: https://severin-films.com/shop/werewolf-girls-dormitory-dvd/

Byleth: The Demon of Incest [Blu-ray]: https://severin-films.com/shop/byleth-blu/

Byleth: The Demon of Incest [DVD]: https://severin-films.com/shop/byleth-dvd/

Severin Films Hall of Fame Enamel Pin #9: Luigi Cozzi

Severin Films Hall of Fame Enamel Pin #9: Luigi Cozzi

Severin Films Hall of Fame Enamel Pin #10: Daria Nicolodi

Severin Films Hall of Fame Enamel Pin #10: Daria Nicolodi

Severin Films Hall of Fame Enamel Pin #11: Donald Pleasence
https://severin-films.com/shop/donald-pleasence-hof/

Yeah, that’s all the variants and a few nice extras, folks. Happy buying, I say!

-GW

Review: The Fifth Cord (Blu-Ray)

The 5th Cord_02

Looks like a fine day for a murder, no? Pamela Tiffin as the “lucky that the killer isn’t targeting her here” sometimes girlfriend in The Fifth Cord.

THE_FIFTH_CORD_BDMurder most stylish, one would have to say about Luigi Bazonni’s (The Possessed) beautiful-looking giallo (brilliantly shot by Vittorio Storaro), The Fifth Cord from 1971. While the plot may be pedestrian, this is certainly one of the most fanciful-looking and visually well-conceived murder mysteries of the era if you’re into the artsy stuff and don’t mind a few plot clichés. The film has the basics you’d expect: a black-gloved killer with issues, a man who’s a suspect even though he’s got an alibi that’s more than solid, and a few suspenseful murders that have very nice scares (the ending is particularly frightening without being gory). There’s even a bit of tasteful nudity for the heck of it (also artistically shot and lit). I found myself captivated by the film’s visual style and way in which space is utilized throughout. This one’s a grabber from start to finish and yes, worth a watch for the art direction alone.

When boozy journalist Andrea Bild (Franco Nero) gets the call from his boss to investigate a man’s assault, he gets caught up in a series of serial murders after the killer promises to dispatch five victims before he’s done. All of the victims happen to be close to Bild in one way or another, so he’s a suspect (despite being drunk most of the time and out of place of the murders as the crimes continue). Speaking of out of place, the film does an outstanding job of presenting Bild as a man who seems to be lost in his surroundings but also angry at the powers that be who force him off the story at one point.

The Fifth Cord_03

Grabbing Walter White is kind of a bad idea, heh.

This one tosses a few suspects at you from the get-go, but the true killer is a slight surprise if you’re not paying attention. Fortunately, this is one flick you can’t look away from thanks to how awesome it looks (you still might not figure out who the killer is until the end, though). The film has enough twisty mystery, some odd sexual content as a plot point (hey, it’s important to the story!) and a bit of violence that’s nicely handled throughout (you can watch this without hiding behind that trusty blanket you tend to whip out in some cases. What, you don’t have a Horror Blanket yet? Shame on you!).

Continue reading

Review: The Possessed (Blu-Ray)

The Possessed_00

“On a clear day, you can see forever…”

The PossessedGiven the subject matter, The Lady of the Lake is a better title than The Possessed, lets get that out of the way first and foremost. Granted, it’s also the name you’d use if talking about the legend of King Arthur and with a slight tweak, it’s the name of a 1947 film noir classic that’s a neat experiment. Still, this 1965 Italian murder mystery from co-directors Luigi Bazzoni and Franco Rossellini is a compelling, arty proto-giallo well worth a look.

The film blends both director’s styles in an impressive and intentionally at times hard to follow plot, but its intents are made to keep you guessing what’s true and untrue until the mystery is resolved. While based loosely on a series of actual murders, the at times dreamlike presentation keeps things a lot less grounded as our less than heroic “hero” figures out why the gal he was so madly in love with was possibly murdered.

The Possessed_VL

Virna Lisi as the ill-fated Tilde. She’s not a good girl, it seems.

Bernard (Peter Baldwin), a morose young man with a bit of fame is in the process of writing a new book, visits the same slightly dull Italian village he grew up in only to discover that a pretty maid named Tilde (a stunning Virna Lisi) working at the local inn has died. A little poking around reveals she may have been murdered, but why is that important information held from him (“You didn’t ask.” comes one rather surprising answer early on) and why are there a few potential suspects that happen to be from the same family that owns the inn?

Hmmm… why, indeed? Tilde only appears to him from a few mysterious dreams and flashbacks that may or may not be related to Bernard’s mental state, so he’s maybe as unreliable a narrator as it gets. Hey, at least his hazy, surreal nightmares are pretty darn interesting to say the least.

Continue reading

Sometimes, You Need That Head Room Cleared

Catching up to things these days is a, what did that guy in the elevator the other day say as he walked in talking to himself? Oh, right – a big grizzly bear bitch. I don’t like being so far behind schedule, but it’s the nature of this particular beast thanks to the health stuff doing it’s thing and being really good at shifting focus which should be elsewhere to that invisible clock ticking away and some too cool for school super-agent not coming to slide in and attempt to defuse the situation.

(Thanks, imz72)

Still, we press onward despite the tick-tock stuff because it’s what keeps the collective we going. “We” meaning those parts inside the skin shell that want to cooperate and get me perambulating around and motivated to do more, which some days is less than more, which ends up being just enough, but not quite. You know that feeling, right? Anyway, I was parked on the work surface yesterday and deciding how to proceed on a few reviews and such that are in progress when my brain decided to take over and have me go draw something, which in turn made me feel a lot better, despite the end result not being good or complete.

adjustments wip

“Gee, I’m a tree!” Oh, the pun society had disbarred me years ago, so I just do what I do, folks.

Well, it helped a bit in freeing up some clutter in the brain, which in turn has me a bit more motivated to get back to the needed grind, which isn’t really a grind because I do like what I do when it’s automatic and not baked in like a factory churning out Soylent Green or some other humdrum, generic content. Hey, I think I try to be somewhat original in what I do in terms of a few things. But yeah, I have to get faster like I was a few years back when content was flowing and my backlog was maybe a few weeks long. Anyway, I have a plan and the crankier parts of me aren’t going to like it, but it’s going into effect as we speak. So those parts are going to have to take their medicine and like it, or else.

vitameatavegamin-gif-1

Back in a bit. Or sooner. (*hic!*)

-GW

Whatever Will Be, Will Be

(Thanks, ukwebwonders!)

My first memory of Doris Day was her long-running TV series that ran on CBS from 1968 to 1975, which I understand she initially wanted no part of. Although I can’t recall a single episode (I was four years old when it premiered) other than each one I saw being as blandly wholesome and clean-cut as it gets with the usual sitcom of the era comedic flourishes (well, up until the last two seasons when network programming drastically changed).

Still, I did have “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)” embedded in my brain for years (it’s still there) and yes, automatically associated it with Day, which ended up making my first viewing of Alfred Hitchcock’s excellent 1956 “remake” of his 1934 film, The Man Who Knew Too Much even more entertaining.

That song gets sung twice during the film, but as I’m betting a penny some of you haven’t yet seen this classic, I’ll let you go watch the film and see how well it’s used.
Continue reading

May the 4th Needs a Fifth, I Think

Yeah, yeah. I kind of don’t like the over-celebrating thing when it comes to some stuff I appreciate, but that’s the way things are these days. Still, a little tribute is in order to a film that deserves it (well, in its original format), so here’s mine.

Perspective from an old fart who knows stuff: There was not a hint of internet nor the sort of over-speculation we suffer though today way back in 1976 when I was sitting in a movie theater and saw this teaser for the first time:

(Thanks, thecoolman!)

I vaguely recall being really curious about this upcoming film because it looked completely different than anything I could recall seeing (hey, I was only 12 at the time), yet it seemed really familiar in a few ways to stuff I’d seen on the local PBS station. At that point, I had zero idea of what a homage was or a way to grasp that George Lucas was borrowing from the past to create his own futuristic adventure (what was curiously, set in the distant past). Anyway, I noted the non-date and filed the film away in the memory banks as something to look forward to seeing. Those school friends I knew were either not interested at all or worse, had a low opinion of sci-fi films that extended to books and comics of the period. So only a rare few of the kids I knew even cared about this film before and to some extent, after it was released.

The most amusing modern thing in regards to this teaser is the Official Star Wars YT channel has an (intentionally?) embarrassing low quality teaser while other non-official sites have not only better quality ones, but one that’s been redone to include footage found in the actual release print. Granted, while MUCH prettier, I find that clip problematic because it’s redone history that erases the fact that the teaser was supposed to be cruder thanks to the film still being nowhere near completion a about a year out from its eventual release date. Sure, film fans didn’t know this and other that tiny bits (VERY tiny) of information dropped in a few sci-fi mags of the era. But that all changed as 1977 rolled around and more info as well as the successful Star Wars comic book appeared. I avoided the comic for a while, but eventually collected most of its run over time, enjoying a good deal of what I was reading (including stuff now FAR outside the current canon)

Continue reading

Someone Left a Cake Out in the Rain (So it’s Likely for Me)

So, whadyagetme for my birthday? It’s today, you know. As for gifts, well… I got myself a little party to throw later:

(Thanks robatsea2009!)

Or, wait… maybe it’s this party?

(Thanks, 88 Films!)

Hmmm. I’m confused, but I know it isn’t this party because I went to it and did NOT have a good time at all:

(Thanks, Zero Media!)

In reality, other than thinking cake-like thoughts for a hot minute, I have no big deal plans for today at all. The day will be spent at home maybe with a movie, definitely with some gaming (I have a few backlogged films and games to get to, as usual), and probably no big deal food item other than what I plan to cook for myself later (ah, the wonderful world of restricted dieting, but at least it will be quite tasty). General mood in my current state is more or less this (and I’m not Thulsa Doom here):

(Thanks, Dean Oliver!)

Eh, whatever. I suppose things cold be worse, but let’s leave it at that for the moment.

Back in a bit.

-GW