The Bard’s Tale Trilogy Returns as a Re-Remake Worth a Buy

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So, I’d been only lightly following inXile’s progress on The Bard’s Tale IV: Barrows Deep with the knowledge that the game was going to be quite impressive and when all of a sudden this trailer pops up in the inbox and waves at me. Well hello there, beautiful. Color me surprised and thrilled, ladies and germs:

 

(thanks, inXile!)

 

Nice. While it would have been great to get these in one download (or disc if it’s console bound), spreading the releases out over time means players can actually finish each game and have room left for part IV whenever it’s released. It’s always great to see Krome Studios hard at work (they’ve been one of my favorite developers since the Ty the Tasmanian Tiger days). Hmmm. Time to start carving out some spare time because it’s looking like Skara Brae might be a decent (albeit dangerous) vacation spot for a little while.

-GW

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COMING SOON: Getting Some More Action In

Video Store Action Heroes - Banner 9 final

Psst. Hey. Yeah, you. Keep this a secret, would ya? Um, August 18th is when you may want to pop in and see what’s what. Shhhhhh. Just you, though.

Okay,  you may tell a friend or three.  I’ll go make some popcorn.

-GW

Oh, The Horror! Severin Films Remasters The Horror of Party Beach

(Thanks, SeverinFilmsOfficial!)

 

HoPB_MPYes indeed, it’s a hot summertime thing from 1964 and it’s BACK. Well, it’s back on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order this slice of not too scary sea life NOW.  Now, don’t get me wrong, people. The Horror of Party Beach is kind of bad. How bad? Well, I did a review a few years back noting it wasn’t all that good, if that helps. That said, in retrospect, its heart is definitely in the right place, the film is actually terribly funny and campy as hell, and will indeed make you laugh if your funny bone is in good working order.

I’d prattle on some more, but YOU, dear reader? You have some pre-ordering to do if this spiffy new 2K restoration floats your particular boat. Get the bundle! Or get the Blu-Ray by itself! Or get the DVD if you don’t have a BR player yet! You can also get the enamel pin and/or Beach ball from the bundle separately and make believe you bought the bundle (er, if that’s your thing).

Uh, if you only have a VHS or (eek!) Betamax player, you’re kind of out of luck, sorry!

-GW

Arrow Video August Releases: Double Dog Dare Days Ahead

Just two titles for August, but that’s fine by me. My backlog is big enough that I’m comfortable being uncomfortable with next month’s Arrows arriving in time for me to finish up half the ton of stuff on my plate. Let’s get to it, then -it’s hot as hell outside and I do need to go out and get some solar rays cooking up post ideas.

Amusingly enough, a little home cooking is the subject of our first film…

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Microwave Massacre [Blu-Ray + DVD] (August 16th, MSRP $34.95):

THEY CAME FOR DINNER…TO FIND THEY WERE IT!!

Microwave Massacre stars legendary stand-up comedian and actor Jackie Vernon as Donald, a disgruntled construction worker whose wife’s predilection for haute cuisine drives him to cannibalism.

Donald unwittingly stumbles upon a solution to his two major problems in his life – his nagging wife and his lack of decent meals – when, one night, he bludgeons his better half to death with a pepper grinder in a drunken rage. Thinking on his feet, Donald dismembers the body and sets about microwaving the remains, which turn out to be rather delicious. Trouble is, now he has a taste for human flesh that needs satisfying…

Eschewing all notions of good taste, Wayne Berwick’s Microwave Massacre is a deliciously depraved exercise in political incorrectness that has gone on to gain a cult following thanks to a characteristically deadpan performance from Vernon, who delivers such choice lines as “I’m so hungry I could eat a whore.” Vegetarians need not apply!

DIRECTOR-APPROVED SPECIAL EDITION CONTENTS
– Brand new 2K restoration from the original camera negative
– High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) and Standard Definition DVD presentations
– Original mono audio (uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
– Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing
– Brand new audio commentary with writer-producer Craig Muckler, moderated by Mike Tristano
– Brand new making-of featurette including interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein
– Trailer
– Original treatment and 8-page synopsis (BD/DVD-ROM content)
– Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Wes Benscoter

Oops. I should have noted this one was a bit of an icky Blue Plate Special. Well, it’s too late – eat up! OR ELSE…

Oh, by the way… look out below!

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Funko Is Bringing Your Shelves Some Scary Collectible Goodies Soon…

funko logoOnce again, Funko is whipping out more reasons to lighten your wallet and fill your shelves. This time, it’s the Master of Suspense himself, Alfred Hitchcock, immortalized (or is that “immoral-ized”) as a Wacky Wobbler (and I have the feeling Hitch would love being a bobblehead), available for sale this October. Take a look and while you’re looking, think of someone you’d love to give this to (even if it’s yourself, because one should always think of him or herself first when gift-giving):

Hitch Wobbler If you can’t wait until October (what, you have a date with a paid assassin or something?), In August, you can snap up these six new awesome ReAction figures from some classic (well, 1978 and up) horror flicks you may have seen once or twice. Take a peek between those fingers you’ve not got covering your face, why don’t you:

funko crow funko freddy funko jason funko pinhead funko pumpkin funko shape

Now that you’re suitably scared (well, okay, suitably thrilled and whipping out your wallet), you may as well know that keeping these killers in their packaging is probably a very darn good idea. Just a suggestion… for safety’s sake.