Review: Home Sweet Home (PS4)

home sweet home(Soothing TV announcer voice, circa 1978):Constipated? 9 out of 10 doctors* recommend Home Sweet Home ($29.99) for fast relief. Easy to apply vie handy and discrete PSN download or in a GameStop exclusive retail version, this not at all soothing horror adventure game works within minutes so you can get back to doing the things you love. Remember – for fast relief, Just say Home Sweet Home…

Yes, that’s right. Provided you’re not a too-jaded horror game player who’s seen it all, this one will scare the living crap out of you. Well, given that poop isn’t supposed to be alive when it’s making a hasty retreat, that may be a good thing.  Here’s a funny for you: back about two years ago, I played the demo for this on PC and wrote about it, but kind of forgot all that because, hey, life happens. However, as soon as the game installed and I hit that start button, a sense of déjà vu followed by creeping dread washed over me. Eep. Yeah, this was not going to go well for my heart, folks.

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Oooh, choices!  Do I go left, do I go right, or do I go hide under a blanket after I turn the game off because I’m too freaked out to continue? *Sigh* ONWARD, as I have a review to write!

 

Anyway, to me, this game is SCARY, plus tax. How scary? Well, If Kriss Kross will make you Jump, you’re guaranteed to jump at least five times as much here if you’re easily frightened. You’re unarmed, many rooms are tight, detritus filled death traps where doors open to brick walls or other surprises of the surreal nature and worst of all, you’re often searching for clues to puzzles as the game’s box cutter wielding scary lady and a few other creeps do their level best to make you wet yourself. There’s nothing like being all stealthy and avoiding instant death for a few tense minutes, slipping between rooms and gathering clues to progress, only to finally unlock a door and jump out of your seat when something… nasty pops into view. And there’s a hell of a lot of nasty in this game.

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Red Dead Redemption II Says: Go West, or Just Stay In (and Still Go West)

RDR II out now

To quote the the late, great Tom Petty: “The waiting is the hardest part…”

“People call me lazy. I’m not lazy. Just don’t like working. There’s a difference”
-Uncle, That Western Game

So yeah, this is funny. I woke up late and had to run out for an appointment, but I’d put in a request for a review code of That Western Game before I rushed out. I also put in a request for a game that wasn’t That Western Game as well, shut down the laptop and scooted along on my merry way. On the way to that appointment, I ran into four people I knew in one way or another who either asked why I wasn’t home playing That Western Game or noting the sole reason they were outside NOT playing That Western Game was because they were also waiting for it to download or install an update or they were stocking up on supplies for the weekend plus so they could play That Western Game totally undisturbed.

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Red Dead Redemption II Launch Trailer: Number One With a Bullet? We Shall See…

 

Compared to the previous longer looks at gameplay, this new trailer is almost too low-key, but I guess Rockstar doesn’t need to impress those craving this game with its overall impressive scope at this point. Okay, I’m keeping this post short because I’m holding my breath for a few reasons until the game ships out. Controversies aside, whenever a new game from Rockstar ships, there’s that mixture of fingers crossed that everything comes together and the hope that not a lot of patching will be necessary once the game finally drops. While you’re waiting, you may as well check out the list of weapons the game has here.

Lucio Fulci’s ZOMBIE: 4K, 3 Ways, On the Way in November

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If I’m not mistakes, we got a load of these posters in the NYC subways as well when the film was initially released in the US. I’d kill for a few to sell off now. Uh, figure of speech, that.

 

Yum. If you’re an old coot like me (or old enough to remember), this pair of TV ads for Lucio Fulci’s horror masterpiece, ZOMBIE. Hey, even though I was 15 at the time, they both kind of sunk into the memory like a… well, like a zombie munching on some fresh brains. I didn’t actually see the film until a few years later thanks to a friend who had it and a bunch of other horror flicks on a VHS tape he’d put together and, yeah, it was worth the wait.

Between the jump scares and general relentlessness when things got going, Tisa Farrow (Mia’s sister) getting it in the eye like Moe Greene, but slower and with a rather pointy piece of wood (ouch), a zombie versus shark scene (no pirates, sorry… but that’s a real shark!), and the classic line delivery early on: “Hey, watch out for the sail!” that kind of starts off this gore-fest in the most comic of manners before things get grim. Yes, there are slow stretches, but the film delivers all the goods when it counts from the icky to the just plain weird (conquistador zombies, ftw!).

 

 

Anyway, the fine folks at Blue Underground and MVD Entertainment Group are releasing not one, not two, but THREE 4K cover variants of the film, newly remastered in 4K and set to crawl your way on November 27, 2018. Actually, there are a whopping SIX variants total when you add in the older 2K BR and DVD versions on the BU site listed here, here, and… wait a sec… HERE. Collect ’em all!

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DEATH KISS: Then Came… Bronson?

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I know I’m very late to the party on this, but yipes, this guy’s got the looks of a… Stone Killer (ha and ha-ha).

 

(Thanks, JoBlo Movie Trailers!)

 

Okay, the film looks kind of cheesy (in the best possible manner) and that soundtrack is pure 80’s perfect (as in equally cheesy, plus tax). But I kind of want to see this, iffy acting, tralier-iffic clunky action scenes and all just for actor Robert Bronzi doing a dead on Charles Bronson impersonation. I almost thought for a hot second some digital effects team got the rights to Bronson’s likeness and stick it on some actor’s face, but nope. Bronzi’s the real unreal deal. I’d bet a buck that Uncork’d Entertainment figured out right away this one would be somewhat of a hit among nostalgic Bronson fans wanting a slice of the old days and old ways.

While I’m not sure he’ll be game for hopping into the Bronson role should there be some studio bold enough to try for a reboot of the Death Wish franchise or a new series with a different name that has Bronson, er Bronzi playing a similar character, actors DO need to work and this guy’s got the looks to get the asses in seats. Oh yeah, Bronzi has an official website, so feel free to pop in and say hello as well as tell him what you thought of his work r his spot-on Bronson impersonation. He seems affable enough not to want to hunt you down and exact justice if you’re a poor judge of his talents.

The film is available on a bunch of VOD services now (Amazon, Hulu, Xbox One, the usual suspects), but as I despise streaming services (mostly because streaming up here blows), I’ll be holding my breath for the December 4 DVD release which seems to be a Walmart exclusive if the film’s facebook page is accurate. Eh, it’ll likely pop up on ebay as well, so at least I can get it there because the nearest Walmart is a bit of a pain to get to. Well, it’s a long bus ride away and I hate the super steep hill that bus needs to go down because it’s somewhat vertigo inducing in a slow roller coaster about to roll over manner. I have no idea how people make that trip along the route, because I’ve seen passengers do stuff like shut their eyes and/or mumble out assorted prayers to all sorts of deities during the trip down. As I don’t have a particular Death Wish to make that treacherous trip, I’ll go the slow and lazy Pony Express route on this. Hell, my backlog is big enough that I can hold out for a few months.

-GW

Review: Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr

Warhammer 40K IMNeocore Games’ mighty, meaty Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr ($59.99) should have come with an advisory that if you like the game, you’re going to have to be completely committed to long-hauling it from the get-go. It’s a demanding and addictive time chomping experience that kicks off with an about 45-minute set of tutorial missions that ease you into the swing of things before it rips away most of its training wheels and lets you carve your own route through its astounding wealth of randomly generated missions. There’s a nicely spread out story here that has your Inquisitor of choice attempting to solve the mystery surrounding an ancient warship packed full of heretics, mutants, xenos and Daemons of the Chaos Gods. Detective work isn’t your sole task, thankfully.  You’ll definitely get to do quite a load of daemon dispatching as you uncover assorted clues during your journey.

While you can indeed compare what’s here to Diablo III on a few fronts, the game feels like more of a throwback to Crusader: No Remorse, Origin Systems’ excellent PC (and later, console) classic from 1995. Partially destructible objects, alarms that summon packs of enemies and a few more familiar elements from that game appear here, but the game also has more than enough loot dropping, skills, upgrades and rewards to keep even the most jaded players quite busy. As with a few other games in my rather large backlog, I’ve held off doing a full review because the game really needed to be patched up so I could give a it a solid recommendation. The latest patch (1.0.5) now makes this one a greater (yet still flawed) game rather than a somewhat decent one that needed a lot more polish.

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Get ready to do a whole lot of this, plus a nice bit of detective work. it’s like CSI with demons and a hell of a lot more weapons.

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Fist of the North Star: Paradise Lost Launch Trailer: Sega, On a Roll With Everything

 

Fist_of_the_North_Star_Lost_Paradise_coverI don’t know about you, but I think Sega has been having a few really awesome years packed with mostly high-quality releases, HD upgrades (Bayonetta and Vanquish on PC are superb must-buys) and yep, even Sonic the Hedgehog blazing and bouncing back to his former 90’s glory. The latest big deal game, Fist of the North Star: Lost Paradise,  is from the studio that makes the stellar Yakuza series and uses that game’s versatile engine to great effect.

I finally got around to playing the demo and yes, am currently downloading the full game as we speak. I’m still plowing through the enormously entertaining and borderline brilliant Valkyria Chronicles 4 (I should have a review up by Friday or Saturday) and I still haven’t gotten to the Sega Ages stuff on the Switch yet.  Yeah, that will get sorted soon enough, but today, I’m going to be making some people dance for a bit (well, not quite like this, though):

 

 

 

Back in a bit.

-GW

Capsule Review: The Conjuring House (PC)

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Uh, mommy? Holy hell, The Conjuring House sure is scary when it needs to be (which is often). Developer RYM Games has a an almost killer game here that despite a few technical flaws (which are currently being addressed via patches that will hopefully improve the overall experience) is one near-total freakout of a game. Things get off to a scary start and the tension builds as the game follows the tried and true “Old Dark House filled with dreadful evil”  formula with some pretty hefty psychological horror and jump scares. Unlike some more popular horror titles, you’re unarmed and have to try and avoid or run from enemies whenever possible, the game has intentionally distant save points and yes, this leads to a few too many deaths whether or not you’re careless. On the other hand, when when things click, you’re playing half under whatever you were sitting on when you started with one eye opened because the other has shut itself closed.

Nevertheless, in its current form, some elements of the game aren’t quite as solid as they should be. Changing the default video settings immediately makes the game too dark to see and that default setting uses a post-processing effect that seems to add too much blur to the movement. Some well-done but lengthy cutscenes do a great job of storytelling, but can’t be skipped at all, so if you die  before one, you’ll need to watch the whole thing all over again. Add in those long treks and/or backtracking between those save points plus a single save slot and you get a recipe for frustration as well as fear of playing for some of the wrong reasons.

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Your brain will look and feel like this decrepit room right from the moment you gain control of your hapless non-hero.

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Red Dead Redemption II Gameplay Trailer 2: Told Ya So (Plus Tax)!

I’d seen a few folks online (and more offline) bemoan the lack of Rockstar pumping out more info or gameplay on Read Dead Redemption 2 and this past week and weekend telling a few folks not to fret and the push was coming. Well, lookie here, a new trailer dropping on a Monday without warning: Enjoy:

Also, the game’s cover art has been updated, so here you go (and yep, I’ll need to go back and pop this image into previous posts at some point:

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Liking the updated cover art, as it recalls some fine Western classics.

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The Horror of Too Many Scary Games (is a Good Thing to Have), Part 2

You’re either back for more… or you fell asleep reading that first part and just woke up in time for part two. Well, here you go, then. Some of today’s entries are coming out after October, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less frightening. Anyway, here are six more games to look forward to (unless you’re too freaked out to want to try some of the scarier ones, mua-ha-ha-haaaa!):

 

 
Home Sweet Home (PS4/PSVR/Xbox One) – If the trailer is any indication, this could be one of the downright scariest stealth/horror games of the year. I missed out on the PC version of this truly scary-looking Thai horror game from Bangkok-based indie dev Yggdrazil Group Co.,Ltd, but my pals at Mastiff Games seem voraciously intent on putting me under the couch with this upcoming PS4 and Xbox One port. The PS4 version will support VR as an option (I’ll take my scares flat, thank you much) and if you prefer your games on a disc, this one’s going to be a GameStop exclusive in addition to a standard digital download on PSN and Xbox Live. I may have to shell out for the disc version, as this one certainly looks scary enough to be a keeper. That and I want to have the option of maybe loaning that disc to a friend or two who hate horror games but are slowly coming around. Then again, I have the feeling that this might be one of those games that sends them back down the ladder to being too skittish to fire it up.

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