Random Film of the Week: ALIEN³

(Thanks, THX1968!)


Alien 3_bI think it was sometime in mid-to late 1991 when I first saw the teaser trailer to ALIEN³ and had my eyeballs pop right out of my head followed by my jaw hitting the floor way too hard in the theater I saw it in. Ladies and gentlemen, do you know how hard it is to clean sticky goo off your eyeballs after they’ve rolled underneath a movie theater seat? Trust me, it ain’t easy. That and yuck-o, stale popcorn and half an old hot dog have the tendency to rather easily get into a fallen jaw if you let it sit down there for more than a minute flapping away in shock mode. Hey, I was busy trying to find my darn eyeballs, thank you much.

Needless to say, I was kind of shocked by this news that we’d get a third film in the franchise and it was coming in under a year. I wasn’t sure I liked the “On Earth, Everyone Can Hear You Scream” tagline at all and yes indeed, I thought bringing that cranky xenomorph to Earth was a bad (not a bad-ass) idea for a few key reasons. Although at that point, I was kind of screaming myself.

It seems 20th Century Fox may have agreed (or at least was pulling a fast one on us because they didn’t really have an idea about the film they were planning to make), as a few months later, this was the follow up trailer:


(Thanks, Media Graveyard!)


After gathering up my eyeballs and jaw again and handing a few people in the theater their eyeballs that rolled under and around my seat (which was quite interesting as I had to wait until the guy who picked up one of my eyeballs by mistake returned it or today I’d be the Jane Seymour version of myself or something like that), I took time to take in the trailer. Bald Ripley. Bald bad men, some bald men screaming and running, NO weapons at all and a reused music cue from the previous film had me both puzzled and really curious as to how the helllllll Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley character was going to get out of this new mess. That said, the art direction and sets looked solid and that finale bit with the Alien getting too close to Ripley had me intrigued as hell, as did my wondering who the heck was this David Fincher guy directing the film.

There were other trailers and eventually TV spots that arrived before and after the film was released, but I was sold before that point to the point that even if I didn’t like the final product, I had the feeling it would be really interesting and maybe even impressive.  Let’s just say I kind of got my money’s worth more on the visual side of things and a temporary gumball substitute for an eye after I picked up the first round object that I could touch after they popped out again.

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Bacon Man? Your Goose Is Cooked!

Bacon Man Stuff

Hey! Look at what popped up in the inbox that made me a bit curious (and kind of hungry). Yep, it’s Bacon Man: An Adventure, now on Steam and coming soon to Xbox One. What, no PS4 or Switch versions? C’mon Skymap – just go beat on Sony and Nintendo’s doors (or the noggins of people there (gently!) until they get you a few dev kits to mess around with, I say. This one’s weird and probably harder than you think, but that’s all good in my book.

Bacon Man 01

There’s a nice Earthworm Jim on assorted pharmaceuticals vibe here that’s probably going to please fans of those games (well, two out of three of them, although I kind of liked the craziness in the third installment, but I’m a bit nuts myself). I’ll actually need to play this one at some point (well, once I unchain myself from the backlog here), but I do think I’ll like it a lot despite what looks like a pretty punishing level of difficulty.



It’s a good thing couch co-op is onboard, as this seems to be just the sort of game that needs it (look down, please. No, not that far down, you. Here:)


Anyway, I’m giving this a thumbs up based on the trailer alone because it made me laugh and humor is harder to pull off in games than some of you think. So yeah, go check this one out and see what you think.


Review: Beholder: Complete Edition (PS4)

Beholder_CE_PS4I’m not much of a good and nosy neighbor in real life, but in the past I’ve been the subject of scrutiny a few times by some pokey-snouted folks when I’ve either moved to or visited spots where they exist. A game like Beholder: Complete Edition normally wouldn’t even pop up on my to play radar, but here I sit typing out this review of a fairly solid yet depressing yet game experience. A mix of simulation, time management with a gloomy vibe straight out of Orwell’s 1984, the game may leave you with a jittery sense of unease because there seems to be no such thing here as a truly satisfying sense of closure.

Then again, when you’re forced by the state to spy on, harass and in some cases, have a tenant in the building you’re running bumped off, you kind of know you’re in for a weird time.

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Review: Don’t Knock Twice (PS4)

DKT_PS4.jpegWales Interactive’s Don’t Knock Twice is an “all-in” game if ever there was one. While it can indeed be played without the PSVR headset and during the sunnier daytime hours, the game works best when you wall yourself (Amontillado or not) up all alone in the dark (heh) completely wrapped up in those goofy goggles and a decent set of headphones. Being afraid of the dark and having the additional fear of things that go bump in the night also go a long way in making this mild experience in terror a bit scarier.

On the other hand, if you’re one of those really jaded people who think all horror games need to be gory undead shooting galleries or have stuff jumping out at you every ten seconds, you may not totally grasp what the fuss is all about when the game finally ends somewhere about an hour to hour and a half later. Is the game perfect? Nope. Does it do what it intends to do? Yep. If you let yourself become immersed in the mood it aims for, it’ll get under your skin and make you a bit jumpy for a tiny slice of time. You’re not going to use the (overused) word “innovative” here at all to describe this one. You’re getting a short and creepy horror experience that’s not going to wear out its welcome when all is said and done.



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EDF 5 + Starship Troopers = My Eyes Bouncing ‘Round The Room




While I still have NO idea who’s publishing Earth Defense Force 5 in the west and any news seems to be being kept way too quiet (grrr!), this trailer really set my “I need this NOW!” timer off. The funny thing is, I had NO interest in any other Starship Troopers films after Paul Verhoeven’s (it’s a great and intentionally ironic parody some still don’t fully grasp, by the way) and  even dismissed last year’s Starship Troopers: Red Planet (or Traitor of Mars) as looking too much like a game for my snooty cinematic tastes. Well, look who’s a crow-chomping clown who wants to see, er, find out more about this one?

Thanks, EDF! Now, about that US release date and publisher? Those giant bug-sized beans need to be spilled, and fast.


Review: Midnight Deluxe (PS4/PS Vita)

Midnight Deluxe PSA gentle “Fore.” with a sly smile is what you may find yourself whispering with a grin on occasion while playing Midnight Deluxe, Petite Games (ported and published by Ratalaika Games) sweet little indie, now available on PS4 and Vita. This is an initially simple on the surface but eventually fiercely challenging game where all you do is attempt to hit a cube-shaped fairy into a hole in each level.

It’s an easy enough to write description, but the fun and friskiness here comes from the “How the *hey* can I get that thing from here to there?” in increasingly complex maps where taking less than five shots seems impossible. Well, until you knock that fairy into the occasional well-placed hole in one or otherwise clear what you thought was a super tough stage under par.

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Review: One Eyed Kutkh (PS4)


Charmingly abstract and somewhat brief, One Eyed Kutkh comes highly recommended as a game that’s just as entertaining for kids as it is for adults looking for a nicely non violent bedtime story experience. Developer Baba Yaga Games and Sometimes You bring their inexpensive Unity engine indie to the PS4 and it’s a winner despite that short play length. Hey, sometimes you just need a tiny bite late at night, as a big full meal can often leave you with a rumbly tummy afterwards.

The story’s a simple one (and yes, so simple I’m swiping this from the official site because the PlayStation Network page isn’t up just yet):

A single traveler on his way home crashes on a mysterious planet. To continue his journey, he’ll have to get to the ninth heaven, deceive the Sun and the Moon and steal their space-boats.

That’s pretty much it, except the game uses no words at all save for intentionally alien noises coming from a few characters.

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Switchy Business, Or: Blizzard, Just Do It.

So, yeah. A few days ago this happened on Twitter:

Naturally, a LOT of people jumped on this (including yours truly) and thought right off the bat that this cryptic tweet was not at all cryptic and meant we’d be seeing a Switch version of Diablo III at some point. Well, Blizzard says nope, it was all just a misinterpreted tweet. Boo. That said, I think they’re at the very least planning something and that tweet was a means of teasing and testing the waters as far as responses to a Nintendo version. While I despise speculation, I’m about to speculate on what’s up while adding a few thoughts on this matter.

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Blu-Ray Review: BASKET CASE

Basket Case_LE_AV119“What’s in the basket? Easter eggs?”

Absolutely, lady, absolutely. Wow. Sometimes you get hit in the head by a fly ball you didn’t see coming and it’s actually a good thing. I didn’t know Frank Henenlotter’s still hilarious and unnerving 1982 feature BASKET CASE had gotten a superb MoMA restoration last year until I overheard two guys talking about it and I just had to walk up and ask if it was true. It indeed was and now thanks to Arrow Video, you can get yourself a copy of this cult horror hit and see what the fuss is all about. Or just see it again as a fully restored masterpiece of low-budget movie making madness.

If memory serves me correctly, I actually saw the film for the first time way back during its initial 1982 run at the Waverly theater, but I think it was the disappointing edited version that came off as a bit crueler and cruder. I say “think” because it was a midnight showing and I recall falling asleep at one point and missed about 10 or so minutes. Oops. A few years later, upon renting the unrated version on VHS (I think it was from one of the legendary Kim’s Video locations in NYC), I was shocked to see footage I hadn’t recalled and the film was actually much funnier than I’d remembered.

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Review: Aperion Cyberstorm (Nintendo Wii U)

Aperion Cyberstorm 03

Aperion Cyberstorm TSblockYes, I know this one’s out for the Switch and STEAM, but for those of you who still only own a Wii U, you’ll be very pleased to know Aperion Cyberstorm is also available on your console of choice, it’s pretty darn good and definitely a game you’ll want to check out if you love arcade-style dual-stick action.

Featuring a solo campaign and some fun couch co-op and great versus multiplayer modes, this is a fantastic little twin-stick shooter that makes for plenty of nostalgic blasting action in campaign mode and plenty of mayhem as a “grab up to four other friends and have a total blast” manner in the mutiplayer modes. Indie developer aPriori Digital has made a very challenging and really solid experience that’s going to make quite a few Wii U owners very happy to see there are still signs of life left in the system.

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