Loving The Alien: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial

 

The best film directors are master manipulators who can magically transform an entire theater audience into a group of happy to sappy sapient lemmings or wide-eyed marionettes easily controlled from start to end credits. Their best films have the masses cheering the heroes, hissing at the bad ones, empathizing with the downtrodden and generally feeling whatever emotion a scene calls for. Yes, there are exceptions to this non-rule (too-likeable villains, swapping out all attempts at sympathy for more explosions and eyeball rolling plot twists you can see coming 20 minutes before they occur). But when you get right down to it, you know your cinematic needs are being taken care of when certain directors are at the helm.

Or, as an old friend once said:

(thanks, svofski!) 

In other words, this is a Spielberg film, folks.
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Happy Almost New Year (Burying The Hatchet With Haste Edition)


 

This year has been significantly… bumpy (to put it mildly). Here’s hoping 2017 gets off to a better start, although it’s going to be rough seas ahead in some important areas. I’m expecting mistakes to be made with either no or poor to unacceptable excuses made for each error that erases something that was just fine before the hammer fell on its foot hard. And that’s just here on the getting stuff done front, ha and ha-ha.

Or, to get real, let’s use Psycho II (a far better film than some give it little to no credit for) as a perfect analogy of just how crappy this year has been on some key fronts. That murderous old lady is 2016 and NormanBates is 2017. It’s your move, Norm:

(Thanks, IntgrScienceFilms3!)
 

Okay, let me shut up and go try to be a bit more productive. If I don’t post anything else today, Have a Happy New Year celebration, be safe and better yet, be prepared for the coming storm or at least, be ye not wholly surprised when wolfy promising yields rather sheepish results.

-GW

Jem and the Holograms Trailer: Welcome To The Blonder-dome

Jem and the Holograms MPNot being a fan at all of the old cartoon and spending time watching a few too many old episodes over the last week or so makes me an easy judge of how this film will do at the box office. The answer is “terribly or worse” for a few key reasons. Reasons one and two: Based on poking around the internet and reading a few too many “totally outrageous!” comments, the older fans didn’t ask for it and the younger ones don’t really exist. That is, unless they have parents trying too hard to be their best friends and think this is a gateway to that friendship.

Cue the future news stories of kids possibly bumping off those parents in their sleep after being taken to see this turd.

It’s also perhaps somewhat sadistic (or masochistic, depending on how you angle that shoe mirror) of them if those parents dragging their tweens to this think it’ll be as “cool” as the show was only to find out they’ve been unfriended before or during the end credit roll. That’s going to be one long, looooong drive home from the multiplex is all I’m saying. (THAT said, okay, okay. I kind of liked the writing in some of the episodes, so I’ll blame the great Christy Marx and the shows other writers for making me enjoy most of those episodes, grrrr!)

Um, where was I again? Oh, yeah…

Sorry, but the whole sappy dramatic movie of the week look of this unspecta-clueless trailer screams “Lifetime quickie flick!” more than something worth paying money to sit stupefied in front of. Hell, at least the live action Josie and the Pussycats flick didn’t go for schmaltzy “realism” at all. It wasn’t a good film at all either, but it at least went down in flames winking at itself. Anyway, Hollywood has been suffering from remake-itis for decades, but this cobbling of ancient cartoons and TV shows only boomers who haven’t grown out of them yet will recall with any sort of warm nostalgia (nope, that’s not a mild case of incontinence) is getting out of hand. Ah well. This one will pop up on cable within what, eight or nine months of its theatrical release? Probably. Will I watch it? Probably not. But curiosity has drawn many to many a train wreck, so as always… we shall see.

Music To Die For: Song of the New Wine

(thanks, LesbianVampireLover!)
 

Not to make today any extra gloomy (it’s not, but I know some of you are sensitive like that with some subjects), but we all have to go sometime. Although we can’t always pick the manner of our demise (er, under “normal” circumstances), it’s nice to have the time to really plan out everything one can in regards to how our friends and families celebrate our time spent here. Of course, this is just an excuse to play this clip from 1943’s awesome Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man which just so happens to be awesome thanks to that clip above. That said, I hope someone plays this at my funeral or at least hums it before things get all sappy. Everybody sing, now!

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Stuff Stuff.

stuffed cabbage round two 002 (Large)
 

“My hobby is stuffing things. You know, taxidermy. And I guess I’d just rather stuff birds because I hate the look of beasts when they’re stuffed…”

(You Know Who as You Know Who from You Know What, You Know When)

stuffing thingsOkay, so it’s not perfectly rolled golabki at all (and YES, I added a bit to a lot more pureed tomato before popping both dishes in the oven). But that what I do when my brain is boiling over at stupid stuff others do. I cook something to relax or pretend I’m cooking my problem to relax or something. Nope, I’m not going to eat all that stuffed cabbage. Some will go to mother dear and I’ll probably freeze the rest. Given that it’s only the second time I’m making this dish (using bits of a few online recipes just to mix things up) I think it’ll turn out as well as the first time or even better. Results will appear in about an hour and a half or so. Maybe I’ll put up a second post… but don’t bet on it. I have a few fish to fry before the evening is over (and I’m not talking about actual fish).

Um, anyone else want to come over for dinner? Sixteen pieces of stuffed cabbage can serve about four more hungry folks and I put some potato slices in both dishes just because I had two spuds left and they do go well with cabbage…

stuffed cabbage round two 003 (Large)

Mezco’s Talking Mega Scale 15″ Chucky: “Best Friends Forever”… But Not One of the Good Guys

Chucky Says HiWell, now. Chucky’s back in action, this time in a new Mezco Toyz figure bound to scare up some sure sales among collectors when it ships out this September. Be very polite and don’t forget to wave and smile back, now. You really wouldn’t want to get Chucky angry with you, not even a little bit.

Mezco’s latest take on the classic horror villain from the Child’s Play and Chucky films stands 15″ tall and features real cloth Good Guys clothing, 11 points of articulation, a plastic knife and his trademark flaming orange hair. Did I mention he also talks, saying seven phrases from the movies? Well, he does. Nope, “I Can Talk” isn’t from any of the films, but seeing that in the image below made me immediately chuckle and think “Well, I can run away while you talk!” as well as “Exit, Stage Left!”

Mezco Talking Chucky Anyway, you can pre-order the Talking Mega Scale 15″ Chucky by clicking away on that handy link I’ve provided. It’s $94 worth of scares coming your way, but you knew that from the moment you laid eyes on him. Make some room for him, or he’ll be pretty upset when he arrives and has to lurk about in his shipping box while you clear out that space you should have beforehand. If he starts yapping away in that box before you get to opening it, that’s not a good sign at all…

Some Sunday Toy Fair Musings…

Let’s see now:

Jurassic World  Stuff
 

Expect to see a LOT of Jurassic World merchandise coming for the upcoming film. Yes, Universal ran the same old trailer fans have already seen, but there’s a nice amount of new toys on the way that were unseen until the event earlier today. Dinosaurs everywhere would be a problem in real life for sure. But it looks like the licensing agreements on this film will bring kids (and adults) into those walking future fossil fuel sources will get plenty of folks into the stores before and after they hit the theaters.

Jurassic World Stuff 1
 

As for those Minions, well, my bad poetry databank has been reactivated, so expect to read some ear curling stuff about that toy line shortly. That long trailer was pretty funny and it looks as if the third go-round with the little yellow guys may be the best yet. As for the merchandise, some items are returning from Despicable Me 2, but in updated form, there are new items that will make the kids (and parents) crack up, and yes, expect your disposable income to become a lot more disposable once the film hits.

Minions Stuff
 

More on both toy lines shortly. I’ve a lot of ground to cover over the next few weeks and two more days at the show in this stupidly lousy cold weather we’ve been socked with. It’s worth it, though…

Mezco’s New Living Dead Doll Has Universal Appeal

Mezco creature instagram_1While Mezco Toyz has previously sold a cool 9-inch Creature From the Black Lagoon collectible figure in its Universal Monsters line, this upcoming Living Dead Doll version of the Creature blows that one out of the water. I’m betting a new penny this new doll sells out faster than the Universal Monsters one just because it’s cute and creepy perfection. Just look at it:

Mezco Creature from the Black Lagoon LDD

 

Featuring an all new body and face sculpt, this iconic scaled terror from the deep stands a full 10” tall and captures the intricate detail of the pre-historic gill-man; from his mysterious yellow eyes, to his claw tipped webbed hands. With nine points of articulation he is the most articulated Living Dead Doll ever, he’ll be able to take out any scientist who dares to come between him and his true love. He comes packaged in a full color, collector friendly window box.

This upcoming Creature From the Black Lagoon Living Dead Doll will cost $32 and ship out in July. Pre-ordering is highly recommended, as I can see LDD fans worldwide making room in a cabinet or on a shelf just for this new arrival. Yeah, that Gill-man will still slay you, man. But he’ll kill you with cuteness first before getting you with those fishy claws of his. “Dawwwww!” and “Gyaaaaaaah!” at the same time? I can do that.

Hikari Friday: Steel Yourself For Platinum Frankenstein!

Hikari logo 

Yeah, I know, I know – that was a putrid pun. But I couldn’t help myself you know… just couldn’t Karl it off, heh. Anyway, this weeks Funko giveaway is a limited edition Platinum Frankenstein, #1 of 750, at that. Check him out below in all his glory:

Platinum Frankenstein Hikari Friday 

Yes, he can be all yours if you’re the lucky winner of this week’s giveway. All you need to do is click it on over to one of Funko’s social media sites:

Facebook!
Twitter
Instagram

Follow the rules and you’re good to go! If you win, you get a nice note saying so from Funko and shortly after that, your cold-eyed swag staring back at you from the confines of its packaging. If you’re a loser (and aren’t we all from time to time?), you can just boogie on down to your nearest Funko retailer and buy one of these limited run Frankies for your own. Hey, wasn’t one of your New Year’s resolutions to get more exercise? Well, there you go, mister or miss(us). One more reason to get off the couch and take a stroll in the cool winter air. In other words, if you win, you WIN… if you lose, you still WIN!. Good luck in any event!

Hikari Friday: Win A Colorful Creature For Your Collection!

Hikari logo 

This week Hikari Friday giveaway from Funko is a sort of amusing one to me. I’ve always seen The Creature From the Black Lagoon as a “serious” (yet somewhat amusing) monster in those films (well, except for the last one when Universal tried to make him a half-man half amphibian thing). However, seeing this week’s giveaway made me crack up because Funko went and made him the least threatening-looking classic Hollywood monster I’ve ever seen. Take a gander at Secret Base Creature Hikari Sofubi Figure:

Secret Base Creature Hikari Sofubi Figure
 

I was laughing because my first thought was along the lines of “So, what’s that secret base filled with? Fruity Pebbles?”. Clearly, this Creature has managed to sneak his way inside, slaughter all the guards plus Fred, Barney and Dino and eat up every box of Pebbles in the formerly “secret” secret base. Yeah, you laughed too. Anyway, as usual, this one is a limited edition (winner gets #1 of 1500) and entering is easy as pie. Click on over to one of Funko’s social hubs:

Facebook!
Twitter
Instagram

Enter by any rules necessary and you’re all set. If you’re the lucky winner, you’ll be notified next week and soon enough, this glitter filled sea beastie will be decorating your home. Disco ball and strobe lights not included. If you don’t win but still want this cool collectible, just boogie on down to your favorite Funko retailer to grab one for your very own. That one won’t be a freebie, but it’s definitely going to be quite the conversation piece!