PC Review: Yooka-Laylee

While playing Yooka-Laylee,
the words, they kinda fail me
it all feels so nineteen-ninety nine.

That’s really not a bad thing
Fact: parts of it indeed sing
But others have me screaming half the time.

The camera’s got the jitters
This game’s not made for quitters
But still, it takes some patience to align.

The game world’s quite expansive
with infinite life chances
But tumbling off those ledges? Not sublime.

To give Playtonic their due
when stuff works well, it feels true
and older fans will find a lot of shine.

But games have come a long way
Those mascots, they’ve had their day
And newer work has fixed what was a “crime.”

The old school’s kinda backwards
One time it won most placards
But now, it’s seen more classical than prime.

The Ratchets, Slys, and others
Are the more modern druthers
So, is this vintage style worth your dime?

Provided you mind its quirks
You’ll find quite a few good perks
Collectibles galore? Tough to decline!

Those flaws, the dev can fix them
And make this game a true gem
bringing those bugs to heel as benign.

For Rare fans reminiscing
There’s fun here, but lots missing
But there’s no need to yell a lot or whine.

Whether pre-bought or now still sold
I’d say bad reviews will seem old
But only if the update redesigns!

Continue reading

Advertisements

IT Teaser Trailer: What? That? Oh, Right.

Okay… it’s confession time, again. CLOWNS DO NOT SCARE ME. At all. There, I said it. Hey, I grew up going to circuses on class trips (the animal waste smell was worse than the greasepaint talent, folks), watching Bozo the freakin’ Clown on TV, so clowns make me laugh. Even Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Okay, serial killers in real life who’ve dressed as clowns? Yeah, but that’s different. Hell, I’ve even painted an evil clown for a magazine cover back in the day and my sleep has been secure. Well, up to the point a bunch of orange clowns slipped into seats of power with plans to turn the rivers and skies blacker than the unclean resources they claim are otherwise. But, I digress. I do like the look of this from the trailer, haven’t reread the book in over 15 years or longer and thought Tim Curry looked great as Pennywise because his makeup gave him a light bulb shaped noggin that reminded me of Greedy Killerwatt. Yes, I am as old as dirt.

Anyway, we’ll soon see how Pennywise it was to remake this Stephen King classic, but as he’s given it his blessing, it certainly looks to be some sort of more definitive version than that old TV movie was. I predict a huge horror hit because humans are scared of the strangest stuff that’s not at all real while strangely doing scary stuff to each other straight out of a horror flick on a daily basis. Go figure.

-GW

Save

Spider-Man: Homecoming Trailer: Re-suit Reboot Looks To Grab Loot

 


 

So, how are you doing, dear readers? Good? Good. Me? Meh, I’m doing okay. Anyway, I missed the first trailer to Spider-Man: Homecoming a few months back, so it’s above and the newer trailer that dropped yesterday is below. The big legal issues keeping Spidey out of Marvel’s bigger cinematic universe seem to be ironed out (at least for the foreseeable future), so say hello a second time to Tom Holland, whose portrayal of the character in Captain America: Civil War helped give that film some much-needed levity. Speaking of levity, how’s the kind of in-joke of Michael Keaton going from playing Birdman to another bird-man get you? I don’t think Oscar will come calling again for a superhero flick (despite what Logan has done in terms of critical response and yeah, yeah, Suicide Squad winning its hair/makeup award), but it’s also just fine by me that this reboot isn’t looking as cheesy as the last few attempts at making him a big deal were.


 

That said, my rules of engagement still apply: Unless I get invited to a premiere here in NYC, I’m holding out for the Blu-Ray version for those bonus features and any extended footage chopped out of the theatrical cut. I don’t think Marvel is quite as nefarious as DC in terms of this stuff, but I’m admittedly a few films behind in both cinematic universes.

-GW

Justice League Trailer: See? Gee! Aye.


 


 

Hmmm. On one hand, the Justice League trailer does what it needs to do and does it well enough that DC fans will appreciate everything it has to offer, so that’s good. On the other hand, the CG-packed visuals (is there a single shot that’s not enhanced in some way?) complete with Zack Snyder’s trademark dark, gritty visuals make it look like another loud post-summer blockbuster non-fans might want to avoid in favor of some quiet time with a good book. As usual, I’m ambivalent here. I’ll see this when I have the time as I’m not so wholly invested in these soopa-hee-ro flicks to trample over some old ladies on the way to the nearest megaplex. Unless, of course I get an invite to some big deal star-studded premiere here in NYC, whereupon I’ll turn into Richard Widmark as Tommy Udo from Kiss of Death (sorry in advance, old ladies! But, bonus points if you have a few baskets of puppies and freshly baked cookies in your laps):

(Thanks, Doug Jay!)
 

Or perhaps not. Hey, that Widmark sure would have made a fantastic Joker had anyone back then wanted to make a real Batman film and not some budget-minded serial, huh? Amirite? Anyway, an invite to a screening isn’t a mandate and I don’t feel like buying or renting a tuxedo penguin outfit for the occasion. I do have a suit here, but it’s probably not going to fit my winter fat self even a few months down the road as the film opens November 17 and I’ll be back to stuffing myself silly again. Eh, whatever. Suicide Squad won a friggin’ Oscar, so who knows what will happen with this film.

-GW

(NOTE: no old ladies were harmed in the making of this post, the baskets of puppies were all adopted to good homes and yes, I’m eating the freshly-baked cookies as I type this, yum!)

Random Films: Stuff To Watch Happen When You’re Not Watching Stuff Happen (Part 1)

(Thanks, Lord Juri’s Channel!)
 

So, yeah. We’re in uncharted yet somehow all too predictable waters at the moment. I’m seeing those history and philosopy books I read or scanned and documentaries I watched as a kid up coming to life in rapid succession and nope, that’s not a good seaworthy feeling in the guts that’s happening. Diversions, diversions are required in this case, but I prefer focused ones that fit the climate over ones that beg me to continually forget it. Anyway, a few recommends to see for you if you’re so inclined, have an open mind and don’t want to be left behind.

No commentary needed on these, but trailers are added to get your eyes and brain to get your fingers clicking on getting these added to that ‘must-see’ queue. Four for today should be enough – there are a load more I’ll get to over time. Distractions about disruption over participation in destruction, I say.

theboywithgreenhair 

(Thanks, Screenbound Pictures!)
 

a face in the crowd poster 

(Thanks, Warner Bros!)
 

z 

(thanks, Poetic Realism!)
 

things_to_come_xlg 

(Thanks, Movie Trailer Graveyard!)
 

Back in a bit…

– GW

School Girl Zombie Hunter: Lock Up Your Daughters, Indeed

sgzh-ps4jp

Hoooo… boy. Yep, I love my quirky Japanese games and all, but this trailer for developer Tamsoft’s upcoming Japanese PS4 action game SGZH: School Girl Zombie Hunter is destined to get a lot of people’s heads aflame for some pretty obvious reasons. If you’re one of those creaky, cranky humorless sorts who’ve disliked (or have never even heard of) their Onechanbara games for their outright M-rated combo of splashy cartoon gore and copious amounts of exposed near (but never totally)-nude female flesh (although, to be fair, some of the hideous undead enemies in these games wear less), SGZH will have your eyeballs fly right from their sockets as the trailer below the jump goes from sassy to sewer level if you watch it all the way to the end.

Um, don’t let little kids or anyone easily outraged by what their brain will tell them to think when they see this, watch unless you’re into defending your potential entertainment options, mmmmkay?

Continue reading

Amnesia Collection On PS4: Twist Your Mind With Fear (More So Than Usual)

I kind of wish I had amnesia right about now, but it’s more important to stay frosty an alert out in the real world. That said, I still wish I had Amnesia, but this desire is actually in the form of Amnesia Collection on the PS4. It’s not on the PSN Store as I type this, but trust me, it’s going to be at some point today. If I’m in the mood to camp out under the covers later, perhaps a buy and play will be made. The first game and it’s shorter sequel, Justine, may have aged visually over the last five years, but my money says those old Lovecraftian shivers will still work perfectly.

-GW

Spongy Stuff From The Sink-In

(Thanks, tubodebeto!) 

So. I forgot I was awake too long since yesterday including what time I passed out this morning, just woke up and remembered something about Rip Van Winkle coming home ad tripping over an ottoman in front of his family. It was a Morey Amsterdam good time, laugh track and all. Then I realized I was awake, but having an American Nightmare. Four years is too long to nap, right? Someone call (and bring me) a Guinness. It’s going to be a long nap, and dreaming all that thunder I hear while I rest is the sound of bowling pins falling hard and drowning out the droning of happy goat-like bleating from a particular direction.

I do have work to do on site related stuff, so normal operations will resume shortly, abby-normal conditions outside the window and all that stuff.

-GW

Amnesia Collection PS4: One Rule of Fear, Broken For The Streamer Age

So. A big fat resounding YES booms out here to the upcoming Amnesia Collection for PlayStation 4, set for a November 22, 2016 release. Featuring all three entries in the “series” (Amnesia The Dark Descent, Amnesia: Justine and Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs), I’m going to dive on this set of scares like a thousand dollar bill scooting down an empty street on a slightly windy day. On the other hand… that trailer above gets a sore thumb in the eye for going the pesky paid YouTube screamer/streamer route when something a lot less… annoying would have been perfect.

A good deal more so, in fact.

Take a look at the original PC trailer for Amnesia: The Dark Descent:

Effective? Yep. Disorienting? Definitely. I’m not sure who put this new trailer together, but it just makes a truly frightening game experience into another jump-scare game that are literally a dime a dozen (or free) on Steam. Now, I’m not one of those off the wall gamers screaming for a boycott or spewing bile over a not so hot (and at the end of the day, minor) decision made by whomever. It’s just that I like having one game that’s actually unnerving to remain so without the possibly fake or overplayed reactions you can see dozens of on YouTube on a daily basis.

-GW

Star Trek TV Series Teaser: That NEW Final Frontier, A Minus For Those Who Can’t Stream


 

Um, Warp Factor ZERO on CBS for what seems to be a great idea on one hand, but a LOUSY one for people who don’t like to or can’t stream content to their homes. Apparently, the premiere episode will indeed be shown on your local CBS affiliate here in the U.S. of A., but after that, the show will ONLY going to appear as a part of CBS All Access, a paid channel similar to HBO GO. Ugh. As you can imagine, some are quite cranky about this. Me, I kind of hope the realization that the MORE people who can watch this show from the get-go means it finds an audience WITHOUT piracy to get more people watching than actually paying to see this. Yeah, yeah, I know the excuses for the pro-piracy crowd and how that activity can drive up viewership in some cases.

But in this particular case? I don’t think it’s a good idea to try and get more money from people just because you have a hot new show and a showrunner who’s done great things in the past. For many who want to see this legally and on what they already use, they may all be singing this little ditty (just roll with it. I know full well the old crew isn’t in this new show!):

(Thanks, Chris Carothers!) 

That and I’d bet Gene Roddenberry would want his stellar trekking vision free to all interested parties within eyesight of ANY sort of viewing device. Then again, the teaser promising among other things, “New Villains” along with that slow-motion planet cracking stuff may mean (SPECULATION ALERT!) that the new Trek will be more action-oriented for the shorter, easily bored attention spans these days.

I sure hope the hell not, though.

GW

Source