Blu-Ray Review: Massacre Gun

Posted on May 6, 2015 by geelw

Yasuharu Hasebe’s brooding but action-packed Massacre Gun (Minagoroshi no kenjū) is a great example of the Japanese gangster film that’s well worth a look. Starring chipmunk-cheeked Jô Shishido (he has plastic surgery to look that way), the film packs in plenty of beatings and shootings into its 91 minute running time while maintaining its not so sunny outlook for just out everyone in its cast. Then again, when the “happiest” looking guy in the movie is the angry one with the titular firearm you know you’re in for a wild ride.

Shishodo stars as Kuroda, a hit man who turns on his employers after being sent on a job to kill his girlfriend. Kuroda fires himself after the work and teaming up with his brothers Saburo (Jirô Okazaki)and Eiji (“Tatsuya Fuji”, or director Hasebe’s acting persona) also wronged by the crime boss, set off to take down his empire. This trio of men setting out for vengeance on other men thing is a high risk gig and yes, the film has a very fatalistic tone running throughout that works heavily in its favor. Some Japanese gangster films tend to have running themes about codes of honor and men maimed or dying in as respectful a manner possible (well, given the violent ways in which they meet their ends). There’s a lot of that in Massacre Gun, but Hasebe’s fluid, innovative direction and use of a jazzy score make the film compelling even in its most violent moments. That and the film is amusing when it needs to be. Someone gets a nice surprise in the form of a booby trapped coffin and some of the sudden violence can be funny because it arrives when least expected and lasts longer than you’d think.

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The Witcher 3 “Precious Cargo” Gameplay: Geralt’s A Not So Cheap Detective

Posted on May 2, 2015 by geelw

While I was going through computer hell, it seems that The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt went gold and is on the way to production for its upcoming release. Nice. Here’s some more fantastic gameplay footage courtesy of CD Projekt RED, who REALLY wants to sell about five or six bazillion copies of the game (or very close to it) this year. I think they’ll do this with ease, as it certainly looks to be well worth the wait through those assorted delays that set it back a bit.

Geralt may not be Sherlock Holmes or even Horatio Caine, but he sure knows his way around a crime scene and can internal monologue up a storm. Hey, everyone talks to themselves you know. Some of us tend to do it out louder than others. That and hell, you just don’t mess with a man who can swing a sword and/or blast you with magic like Geralt can. “Haw-haw, that crazy-lookin’ guy is in the woods talkin’ to himself!” *STAB! Slice!, ROAST! (sizzle!)* See what I mean? Anyway, May 19, 2015 is the big day for PC, PS4, and Xbox One owners. Expect “flu-like” symptoms and asked for days off in certain spots around the globe, guaranteed.

#TBT: Old Scams Can Drive A Man To Drink

Posted on April 30, 2015 by geelw

(thanks, Video Quotes From Seinfeld!)

Ha. Someone actually tried to pull the ollllllllllllld as the freakin’ hills “I’ll send you a money order… oops, I overpaid, so can you refund the balance by Western Union?” scam for an item I was selling for a friend and that kind of pissed me off big time. Why? Because “Albert Mackenzie” wasted my damn time until I realized what was going on. If there’s anything I absolutely hate it’s scammers of any type because they’re useless in any normal moral situation and only exist to make people miserable when they part us fools from our money. I’d post his email address for all to see, but that would probably encourage the bastard and not scare him off one bit. Drop dead, Albert.

The koo-koo-koo-raaazy thing here is Western Union has a bad rap on this front, KNOWS it has a bad rap on that front and seems powerless (or just plain lazy) to do anything about it despite the scam existing for years with no sign of letting up. Hell, sites like ebay, craigslist and others plus a while bunch of police departments warn people to NOT use Western Union for anything involving sending money to strangers or even honest people who want money sent electronically, so I’m wondering why they even exist as a “reliable” company for any sort of wire transfer. Nostalgia only goes so far, folks.

Okay, at least they DO have a Fraud Quiz you can take while you’re reading that scammer’s email. And ooh, lookit! They have VIDEOS too:

Hmmm. Watching this and the other clips actually made me doubly NOT want to use Western Union ever again for anything financial, so I guess they did their job. Sort of.

It’s a damn good thing I’m not as stupid as someone thought I was. Still, what a friggin’ waste of a few days of back and forth BS from this cat. Sir, the jerk store was supposed to be out of YOU, but it seems you’re in stock and ready to ship. Boo. Anyway, if anyone wants me, I’ll be somewhere without jerks having an adult beverage. Probably home, as the bars around here are pretty damn lame. And probably coffee, as I have a lot of work to do and I’m out of booze. Eh, maybe I’ll just gently slam down some Uptime instead and get that review completed.

Mad Max: Fury Road May “Retaliate” If You Don’t Go See It

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

I can only imagine some wag who plans to blow this off stepping outside one sunny day only to have a chopped and channeled dust-covered death-mobile roll up as a long handled grabber of some kind reaches for their shirt collar. Yeah, that will be a wild ride to the nearest multiplex to be sure. You can avoid this fate by just going to see the movie, you know. It opens May 15 pretty much anywhere you can see current films. Now, I know that some of you adventure seekers wouldn’t at all mind getting yanked into a crazy-looking ride for a bouncy-bouncy trip to the cinema. But the thing is, when these guys show up to get you… you end up riding OUTSIDE on that long pole. That could get problematic if you happen to reside in an area with a lot of potholes. Ouch.

Overkill’s The Walking Dead Set To Scare Up Sales on PC, PS4, Xbox One

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

After a few not so stellar attempts by other studios to make a first-person shooter based on The Walking Dead, Robert Kirkman and David Alpert at Skybound have decided to let one of the best multiplayer FPS teams in the industry have the keys to the car along with all the gas they can scrounge up. Currently in development by Overkill Studios, all we have to look at for now is this simple followed by Kirkman’s announcement and a nice little gift for Payday 2 fans worldwide.

As it’s far too early to say what the game will be about in terms of its plot. We do know it will at least take place in and around Washington DC and be released sometime in 2016 for the aforementioned consoles and PC. Once again it looks as if those holding on to those PS3 and Xbox 360’s for dear life will need to bump themselves up into “next gen” which in now “current gen” to a few million people around the globe. PC owners will of course be trumpeting their own victories on the frames per second and detail setting maxed out front, but that’s always another tale for another time. 505 Games just got another money making AAA title in their library worth checking out.

Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark: Buy It For The Title Alone, I Say

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

A game with a name like Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark just SCREAMS out “Shut up and BUY me, Meow!”* and even if it’s the crappiest game with Schrödinger’s Cat in the title, it’s probably still more than worth the $14.99 asking price on Steam because it’s probably better than you’re thinking. Yeah, this logic puzzle of a post has been brought to you by Wednesday because it’s not yet Thursday and by Friday you’d have moved on to something like “Hey, what’s for dinner two weeks from next Monday?” or something like that.

Developer Italic Pig seems to have done their homework here as the game looks nice and amusing and yes, a bit of quantum physics come into play as they usually do when you have a cat who may or may not be very dead or very alive. The Particle Zoo is in chaos with Leptons, Gluons and Bosons all running amuck and only ONE cat can tackle the problem in his interestingly quark-y manner. Of course, it’s a sure bet that most people won’t appreciate the humor in this one unless they’re ready to do some reading or already know what’s up with the figgy Newton-ness of a clever developer doing it’s thing. Hmmm. I wonder if the dev team gave that cat nine lives, one or none for the entire game?

*(of course, if the cat is dead, this game doesn’t exist and renders this post completely null and void. The cat was alive when watched the trailer three times, so it’s a safe bet the game is real as well).

IndieGala Hump Day Bundle: Your Camel Will Not Work Today If It Reads This Post

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

It’s probably a good thing that camels don’t play videogames for a few reasons. For one thing, that would just be too weird a sight. I’d also imagine monkeys and any other non-human animals with opposable thumbs would be REALLY pissed off. Finally, if they had any work to do today, they’d not get anything at all done because they’d all be downloading today’s IndieGala Hump Day Bundle before camping out at home to play some games. Do yourself a huge favor and keep the camels offline by buying up a bunch of these bundles and gifting them around. Pay a buck for three games or pay $2.89 for thirteen games, your choice.

There’s an odd mix of first-person puzzle games, family entertainment studio stuff, a bit of horror and even some platforming with samurai kitties and a 3D brawler tossed in for good measure. Um, you’re NOT showing this post to your camel, correct?

Anyway, stop reading and start downloading. Well, once you pay up, of course. Just send the camel to the furthest store with a big bill, tell it to buy something for itself with the change and you’re good for at least a few hours. Camels tend to get a bit confused when shopping for themselves (well, that’s what I’ve read).

Konami Kills Silent Hills; P.T. Probably Gone For Good

Posted on April 28, 2015 by geelw

If you own a PlayStation 4, love horror-related games and have yet to play P.T., get ready for a little shock. You only have a few hours before that title (which stands for Playable Teaser and was actually a concept demo for the Guillermo Del Toro/Hideo Kojima Silent Hills project that was to feature The Walking Dead star Norman Reedus as the lead) is probably gone forever.

Konami has canceled the project entirely and will be yanking the demo off the PlayStation Network on Wednesday the 29th. The company still plans to keep creating games in the long running Silent Hill series in the future, but the loss of this demo comes as yet another blow to fans of Mr. Kojima’s work. This latest business decision comes not too long after both Kojima and Kojima Studios’ name were removed from Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain after still unrevealed disagreements between the creator and company. Both his name and his studio’s name were also chopped from the P.T. demo site in Japan and it seems that once the free demo is gone, it’ll not even be available to download even if it’s been placed in one’s PS4 queue for play at some point in the future.

As a bit of a gaming historian and big (but sometimes easily rattled) horror fan, this irks me to no end as well as shows how lousy digital distribution really is in terms of preserving content. Pulling a game demo may not seem like a big deal to many of you and it’s not really a huge deal at the end of the day. That said, given that P.T. showed off more creativity and genuinely freaky scares than some completed games, not having the demo around to show off in the future doesn’t bode well for any other demo or full game deemed disposable by companies who want to erase the past. Foo. Hopefully Konami will reconsider and at some point make the demo available at some point down the road. However, given the company’s kicking Kojima to the curb so abruptly after decades of service (no matter the reason, it’s a shame how things seem to be ending), it’s a bad sign of things to come if other games deemed doomed get dropped on the chopping block.

Anyway, if indeed the demo does disappear forever, there’s always YouTube for watching videos of people playing it. Konami’s official P.T. clips on its Japanese channel seem to be already gone, which is annoying because there were some reaction videos featuring gamers and non-gamers that were flat out hilarious. Oh well. Life goes on… but with a little less great scary as hell stuff to share with like-minded folks.

What a shame.

DiRT Rally: Codemasters Kicks It Old School In Its Early Access Racer

Posted on April 27, 2015 by geelw

Awesome. I haven’t even played DiRT Rally yet but I already know it’s going to make a LOT of rally fans very happy. No crazy Gymkhana mode, no “celebrity” drivers, ALL rally all the time and with more realistic controls and car damage? Sign me up, stat! I checked out the Steam page for the game just now and the overwhelming positive response to the game even in its early access state is so positive that it seems Codemasters has gone and made people who are completely new to rally games appreciate the intensity and high difficulty curve (pun intended) not seen in years from the series.

Of course, Codemasters surprised plenty of folks by announcing the game was out now (again, as a work in progress). So I’m betting they’re using all that early feedback to make it a lot better before (hopefully) announcing some console versions. As long as the final version is pure rally and isn’t packing any X-Games style nonsense, I’m in for the long haul.

Today’s Mystery: The Case of the One-Winged Chicken

Posted on April 26, 2015 by geelw

One more reason to cut certain foods out of the diet, I suppose. But also a big little mystery that needs solving, so I’m (kind of) on the case. I defrosted a whole Purdue chicken and put it in a simple salt water brine overnight. As I tend to handle raw proteins as little as possible, I didn’t realize until this morning that the chicken ended up in the store sans one wing. Eek. From what I recall, chickens don’t fly very well at all, so this couldn’t be the result of the one I was about to cook being gimped because it wanted to go all Freebird from wherever it was raised.

“It’s a factory second!” was a guess tossed into the hat I wasn’t wearing. But that wasn’t the case, as it was a full price chicken with a clipped wing and someone out there walking around with it in a pocket as a good luck charm. Or something a lot less disgusting. Speaking of disgusting, as soon as I saw that missing wing, I had a serious Eraserhead flashback. You know the scene: “Just cut them up like regular chickens!”:

Yuck. Anyway, a coin was flipped and it was decided to not waste a good and already brine-soaked bird. So a bit of Madras Soul (TM!) spice blend and a good shake in a plastic bag later, into the oven it went. As it’s meant to be split with a friend going through some bumpy times of late, I decided to keep the wingless half for myself. There’s nothing like having to answer questions about what happened to that missing flapper on a gift half chicken. Some questions weren’t made to be answered without a legal team handy. Or at least the Scooby Gang. Anyway, it’s a sunny Sunday and too nice outside to dwell on a dead (now twice dead) piece of poultry. That said, guess who will be pickin’ chickens a lot more carefully from now on. Or a lot less carefully because I’ll have changed my dining options.

Then again, having tried faux poultry on a few occasions, I can very safely say that every one has had missing wings, legs, thighs and bones. That’s not a mystery at all other than why some of those ersatz birds sometimes end up in assorted poultry shapes. Then again, if it were a tofu bird with a missing wing? Well… THAT would be even more creepy.