Random Film of the Week: Waterworld

WW water

Uh, hey pal… you’re not gonna DRINK that, are you?

WATERWORLD ArrowMovie memory #1764 (or so): sitting in a packed theater back in 1995 watching the opening sequence to Waterworld as Kevin Costner’s Mariner character urinates into a plastic container, then pours that pee into a dicey-looking filtration system and drinks the results. You’d best believe the bulk of the audience let out a collective “EWWWWWW!” and yes, there was one guy sitting somewhere in the back of the darkened theater who yelled out something about how ice cubes would have made that recycled beverage go down better.

“EWWWWWW!”

Flash forward to me watching the three (!!!) versions of the film in Arrow Video’s packed to the gills (heh) with bonus features triple-disc set and I kind of want one of those funky filter devices just so I don’t need to take breaks when I’m going through my film backlog. For all its expensive sets, Costner’s dedicated performance, some amazing stunt work and a completely and perfectly bonkers performance by Dennis Hopper as its main villain, the film is still flawed in that, “Where’s the beef?” manner when it comes to a few key plot elements. Granted, its ecology past peril theme is a bit more relevant it today’s climate (and yes, that’s a double pun, kids). But there’s no real “science” here if you’re looking for it. Hell,  if the Earth does lose its major land masses underwater as shown here, an overblown big-budget sci-fi action flick isn’t exactly where we’re headed in that watery future, glub, glub.

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4D Cityscape Makes For A (Not So) Puzzling Last Minute Gift Idea


 

Need a super cool last minute gift and you just so happen to be within fast traveling distance of any of these retailers? Well, here you go. 4D Cityscape’s wonderfully awesome and complex takes on some pop culture faves. I personally haven’t put a puzzle together in too many years, but these all stand out as more than welcome chances to get by brain firing up in spots where it’s been snoozing too much. Someone get these guys a few more licenses, as I bet Star Wars fans would love to see some iconic locations represented in 4D puzzle form.

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-GW

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Mad Max: Fury Road May “Retaliate” If You Don’t Go See It


 

I can only imagine some wag who plans to blow this off stepping outside one sunny day only to have a chopped and channeled dust-covered death-mobile roll up as a long handled grabber of some kind reaches for their shirt collar. Yeah, that will be a wild ride to the nearest multiplex to be sure. You can avoid this fate by just going to see the movie, you know. It opens May 15 pretty much anywhere you can see current films. Now, I know that some of you adventure seekers wouldn’t at all mind getting yanked into a crazy-looking ride for a bouncy-bouncy trip to the cinema. But the thing is, when these guys show up to get you… you end up riding OUTSIDE on that long pole. That could get problematic if you happen to reside in an area with a lot of potholes. Ouch.

Mad Max: Fury Road TV Spots: Hit the Road, Jack. You’ve Got A Movie To Catch


 

Ha. You know, I’d forgotten Mad Max had a last name until I saw the description to this new teaser. Anyway, Mr. Rockatansky is back in action on the wild road soon (hey, May is creeping up faster than you’d think!), so here’s a look at two of the TV ads for the film. Can George Miller pull this off as well as he did back with the first two films? Or will we need another hero to save us from the pre-summer blehs?


 

Eh, my money is on this being a winner as long as the jaded ones out there with their negativity and access to computers get busy slamming it with their tiny little hammers because it’s not what they wanted or expected. Yeesh. Try and make art these days and you find no one’s happy because everyone’s a self-styled “critic” these days. Feh.

Mad Max: Fury Road Trailer: Hardy to the End!

If you somehow thought director George Miller lost his knack for making wildly kinetic action flicks, this new trailer for the upcoming Mad Mad: Fury Road should spin your head around a few times. Granted, it’s only a trailer and yes, trailers tend to be not much like the actual film at all or worse, show all the good parts and leave some viewers wanting their money back once those end credit roll.

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That said, let’s give Miller the benefit of the doubt and hope this film is closer to the magnificence of The Road Warrior and not the oddball-ness of Beyond Thunderdome. As usual, we shall see. If the film stinks (and I think it won’t), I’ll just get my pair of toecutters and get George on the horn. Or just catch it when it hits cable for the repeat play thing…

SDCC 2014: Mad Max: Fury Road: It’s Miller Time Again (Hardy Har-Har)…

Well, well, well. it looks as if George Miller is back in the creative chair with this reboot that doesn’t need Mad Mel at all to look pretty action-packed and dare I say… “essential” to some extent. It seems like practical effects are in play for the most part (a good thing), and that offbeat sense of violent humor is intact from the previous Mad Max films. For those griping about the lack of Mr. Gibson, just give it a rest until you see the film next year or at least read a review or two before you put that foot down too hard. I say the man’s too old to be the lead here and he’s box office poison to some people thanks to his outside work views on certain things that can’t be separated fully from anything he does on screen. Besides (and this is the important thing), Tom Hardy is a fine enough substitute as an action hero, especially if this one’s sequel-ready for a few installments and he wants to come back.

Trend Setters Morphing Dark Knight Mugs: You’ll Go Batty For Your Favorite Hot Beverage…

ALL 8 MUG IMAGES 
Let’s see now, eight different Bat-mugs mean you can buy one for each day and have one left over for when company drops by or as a gift. Or you might know seven other people who need an extra licensed lift with that morning mug of hot steaming whatever. Each heat transforming mug is black until 11 ounces of something hot enough lands inside of it and each retails for $18.99 over at the Film Cells website. There’s a ton of other cool licensed goodies there from other pop culture classics from then and now, but you’re probably already poring over that site as we speak with your wallet whining away…

Transcendence: Johnny on the Spot Or The Yawnmower Man? We Shall See…

You know, when I saw this trailer to Transcendence I actually laughed out loud because it reminded me of all those “cyberpunk” themed TV shows and films from the 90’s that for the most part didn’t so anything right other than be expensive and really weird unintentional sci-fi comedies. Sure, I know these movies have their followings and fans who groove on the cornball digital effects and “futuristic” scenarios (some by popular authors!), but come on, now. They just haven’t held up all that well even if you DO like them so much you gloss over their obvious flaws. Anyway, this flick seems to be going for a mix of The Lawnmower Man and War Games with a few other bits wired in for good measure and yeah, a “bald” Johnny Depp with wires sticking out of his head makes for a funky future Frankenstein’s monster for sure. Will it be a hit, a miss or a camp classic cable flick? We shall see, people… we shall see…

Batman: Arkham Origins Launch Trailer: Your “Personal Mission” Is To Buy This Game.

To quote the Joker (not verbatim, of course):“Ha ha heee hooo haa.” So, not only is the console and PC version solid, even the portable version is doing well. So, haters be damned. On the other hand, no one listens to the ranters and ravers who bile it up over games they haven’t played, so let them rant and complain. WB Games sure doesn’t need them for this game to be a hit, that’s for sure. Go get it or he’ll come and get you. The Batman, that is. The Joker is a bit tied up right now…

Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate Gameplay: Out For A Scroll In The City Jail…

Amazingly, some really whiny “fans” are griping that this isn’t the same game as the console versions and that’s it looks like a tablet game or whatever. *Yawn*, I say to those folks, most of whom I gather haven’t played some of those old side-scrolling Batman games from back in the day. Blackgate looks good to me, not every Vita (or 3DS) game is going to be blowing the doors off of the last great one and finally, forming judgments without getting one’s grubby to non-grubby paws on the game makes you a typing monkey with an opinion and not liable to be listened to by developers, publishers or anyone else who you’re trying to soapbox out of a purchase. Now, go slip on a banana peel and get comfortable with those cranky comments elsewhere. I’ve got me some bad guys to catch and henchmen to hurt. Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate comes out to-morrow (10/25) on the PlayStation Vita and Nintendo 3DS.