Metal Gear Survive: A Hideous Nojima Game Coming in 2017

Posted on August 17, 2016 by geelw

Once again, I fell asleep with my laptop on, a VERY bad thing to do. I popped up my fuzzy head to turn it off, but something told me to go poke at facebook and see what was up before I drifted back off to sleep. Oh… my. This is the second thing that caught my eye (ow!):

(thanks, IGN!)

Oh. Hell. No. Nope. NEIN. Or in the immortal word of one very dead Sith lord:

(Thanks, CineWeekly!)

Look. I’m not trying to say the game WILL be awful and YES, judging something by sight alone and not by playing it is ALWAYS 100% wrong. That said, Konami’s way off base treatment of Metal Gear series creator Hideo Kojima is the sole reason this video has so many dislikes on YouTube. Adding insult to injury, Kojima Productions’ versatile Fox Engine is being used to develop the new game. Yeah, it’s Konami’s property and I’m sure Kojima’s contract stated this somewhere in the fine print. But no Kojima involvement on a Metal Gear game is simply Konami pulling the wool over its own eyes and pretending we won’t notice.

(Thanks, Cinema Source!)

Sorry, Konami. Even if this zombie-filled multiplayer mash-up is better than the Left 4 Dead games, it won’t win you back the respect of Metal Gear fans, people who love game history (making the beautiful, horrifyingly perfect P.T. vanish forever was one of the most spiteful business decisions next to whatever happened with Kojima) or anyone else who knows you’re trying very hard to show that you’re still relevant as an actual video game company.

Thanks for trying, though. PC, PS4, and Xbox One owners who don’t care and just want a(nother) good-looking shooteminnaface zombie game will eat this one up in 2017. The rest of us justifiable cranky souls will more than likely sit this dance out.

Arrow Video September: Back to Film School With An Unholy Trio of Horror Flicks

Posted on August 9, 2016 by geelw

Ah, September. Kids are back in school whining, parents still daily grinding it to make ends meet, pets being pets and not knowing what the hell time it is but play/sleep/eat time. You’re bored already, right? Well, looky here, lazybones: Arrow Video US and MVD Entertainment have got your back with a trio (that’s three, oh?) of horror flicks for your viewing displeasure. So, roll up the kids in a rug and send them to gramma’s place – it’s about to get steamy inside (well, if you keep the windows closed and a scream too much):

Dead-End Drive-In [Blu-ray] (September 20th)

THE PRICE OF ADMISSION IS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

One of Quentin Tarantino’s favorite directors, Brian Trenchard-Smith was a key figure in the Ozploitation movement, responsible for The Man from Hong Kong, Stunt Rock, Turkey Shoot, BMX Bandits… and dystopian cult classic Dead-End Drive-In!

Set in a near-future where the economy has crumbled and violent gangs play havoc in the streets, the powers-that-be have decided to lure the delinquent youth into drive-in cinemas and keep them there. No longer just a place to watch trashy movies and make out, these outdoor picture shows have become concentration camps for the unruly and unwanted.

With its day-glo color scheme, new wave soundtrack and extraordinary stunt work, Dead-End Drive-In is in the tradition of Ozploitation milestones Mad Max and The Cars That Ate Paris only very, very eighties.

Bonus Materials
* Brand new 2K restoration from original film materials
* High Definition (1080p) Presentation
* Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard-of-hearing
* Audio commentary by director Brian Trenchard-Smith
* The Stuntmen, Trenchard Smith’s classic television documentary on Grant Page (Mad Max, Road Games) and other Australian stunt performers
* Hospitals Don’t Burn Down, Trenchard-Smith’s 1978 public information film told in pure Ozploitation fashion
* Behind-the-scenes gallery by graffiti artist Vladimir Cherepanoff
* Theatrical Trailer
* Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Chris Malbon

Hey! You’re not done reading and I’m not done cutting and pasting! Siddown and see what else is on the plate, mate.

Continue reading →

Pathologic: Ice-Pick Lodge’s Re-Invention Looks Mysteriously Magnificent

Posted on August 1, 2016 by geelw

Back in 2005, Russian developer Ice-Pick Lodge released Pathologic, an unsettling horror/adventure/RPG hybrid that garnered excellent reviews at home, decent to fair reviews in the west, and gathered somewhat of a “cult” following for its unusual, creative art direction, extreme difficulty and distinctly bleak tone. The game’s fan base grew with its gog.com release and subsequent 2012 HD remastering (both of which come with the purchase of the HD Classic version). With a successful Kickstarter to re-imagine the game in 2015 for PC (and possibly consoles) Pathologic’s new path has added even more fans to this weird game’s potential player base. Ahead of Gamescom, IPL has released a nice set of screenshots that show off some lovely, haunting images from the new version.

Let’s take a look now, shall we?

While gameplay videos have yet to surface, this 2014 Kickstarter video should give you an idea of what to expect. As the game has no set release date, the waiting period between information drops will no doubt keep fans begging for more. It’s a good thing there’s a board game coming to make that wait less frustrating.

Speaking of more, click below the jump for more about the game (in handy cut/paste/corrected form)…

Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: Model Hunger

Posted on July 30, 2016 by geelw

Screen Shot 2016-05-18 at 2.30.06 PM

Oh, I’ll admit right here and now that my eyeballs did a slight roll when Debbie Rochon‘s directorial debut Model Hunger kicked off with a cheerleader squad scene straight out of a Horror 101 how-to film school class. About an hour and twenty minutes later, my eyeballs reflexively rolled WAY back in my head in order to avoid seeing a pretty damn shocking (as in un-seeable) slice of violence that had me put on a pot of coffee at around 4am after the credit roll.

I’m quite sure I saw myself screaming as my eyeballs whipped back into their normal positions, but that’s not important. I wasn’t getting to sleep after that shock, folks. Amusingly enough, it was with that pot that my old coffeemaker gave up the ghost as it malfunctioned, leaking coffee all over the counter and floor. I think it was an emphatic reaction or something even though it was two rooms away in the kitchen. Guess who had a four tea bag cup of tea instead?

But I digress. While not perfect, Model Hunger delivers the goods and gore horror fans expect while making for a truly weird as hell experience when all is said and done. While it’s a low-budget “B” at heart, Rochon very cleverly lets the horror and resulting carnage (done via practical effects) build with each kill until that eye popping climactic moment mentioned above. Actually, the eye-popping comes after that climactic moment, but you’ll see for yourself what I’m babbling about because you’ll definitely want to check this out with a few like-minded horror fiends.

Continue reading →

Arrow Video August Releases: Double Dog Dare Days Ahead

Posted on July 8, 2016 by geelw

Just two titles for August, but that’s fine by me. My backlog is big enough that I’m comfortable being uncomfortable with next month’s Arrows arriving in time for me to finish up half the ton of stuff on my plate. Let’s get to it, then -it’s hot as hell outside and I do need to go out and get some solar rays cooking up post ideas.

Amusingly enough, a little home cooking is the subject of our first film…

Microwave Massacre [Blu-Ray + DVD] (August 16th, MSRP $34.95):

THEY CAME FOR DINNER…TO FIND THEY WERE IT!!

Microwave Massacre stars legendary stand-up comedian and actor Jackie Vernon as Donald, a disgruntled construction worker whose wife’s predilection for haute cuisine drives him to cannibalism.

Donald unwittingly stumbles upon a solution to his two major problems in his life – his nagging wife and his lack of decent meals – when, one night, he bludgeons his better half to death with a pepper grinder in a drunken rage. Thinking on his feet, Donald dismembers the body and sets about microwaving the remains, which turn out to be rather delicious. Trouble is, now he has a taste for human flesh that needs satisfying…

Eschewing all notions of good taste, Wayne Berwick’s Microwave Massacre is a deliciously depraved exercise in political incorrectness that has gone on to gain a cult following thanks to a characteristically deadpan performance from Vernon, who delivers such choice lines as “I’m so hungry I could eat a whore.” Vegetarians need not apply!

DIRECTOR-APPROVED SPECIAL EDITION CONTENTS
– Brand new 2K restoration from the original camera negative
– High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) and Standard Definition DVD presentations
– Original mono audio (uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
– Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing
– Brand new audio commentary with writer-producer Craig Muckler, moderated by Mike Tristano
– Brand new making-of featurette including interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein
– Trailer
– Original treatment and 8-page synopsis (BD/DVD-ROM content)
– Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Wes Benscoter

Oops. I should have noted this one was a bit of an icky Blue Plate Special. Well, it’s too late – eat up! OR ELSE…

Oh, by the way… look out below!

Continue reading →

The Exorcist, A TV Series? The Power of “Cripes” Compels You

Posted on May 23, 2016 by geelw

So join me for a drink boys
We’re gonna make a big noise

So don’t worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the check
We’ll get hell to pay

According to a few sources including the director himself, William Friedkin fired blanks off-camera into the air in order to get an actor to react with fright during a key moment in The Exorcist. I’m betting the 1936 penny sitting mysteriously atop my too-small entertainment center (seriously, it just appeared one day and I have NO clue as to how it got there!) that Friedkin maybe shot a computing device of some sort when he found out Fox as making a series based (kind of?) on the classic horror film that freaked out millions back in 1973 and is still influential to this very day.

(Thanks, Movieclips!)

Me? I had NO idea this was a thing until the always on point Written in Blood pointed out that trailer above. The power of crap compelled my jaw to drop because WHY? There’s really no use or need for a modern take on The Exorcist because the film did what it did so well and is still an effective horror film to this day. Like the upcoming Lethal Weapon TV series (yeah, WHY?), this trend to dig up otherwise fine and dandy entertainment and drag it kicking and screaming into this decade’s short attention span theater audience that will drop a new show they don’t like like a hot rock after one or two episodes. My reaction to that trailer above was somewhat NSFW, and went something like this:

(Thanks again, Movieclips!)

Don’t believe me? Well, how’s that Rush Hour TV series doing, ladies and gents? Uh-huh. Sure, there are a bunch of devil shows on the air already and Fox does have a “hit” with Lucifer, which I’ve yet to see because I’m not at all interested in it. But I just can’t see The Exorcist being a series with legs once the story the film tells (now rewritten for TV) plays itself out. Well, unless it turns into some sort of possession anthology series with a demon of the week (ugh), which would kill off the scare factor faster than a vampire eating a loaf of garlic bread as the sun rose.

Meh, maybe I’m too cranky and wrong on this… but I don’t think so. If this show ends up being a surprise hit like Bates Motel and goes on for a few seasons, I’ll look into making my own deal with the devil. Oh, don’t worry about me, folks… I know how to trick Old Scratch into letting me keep my soul:

(Thanks, lilacwine85!)

It’s a good thing I can bake a little is all I’m saying…

Gallery: DARQ

Posted on May 20, 2016 by geelw

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

With indie and AAA horror games being a dime a dozen these days, it’s going to take something really different to get some gamers jumping out of their seats and diving under their beds. Unfold Games has taken up the scare you halfway to death challenge with DARQ, their upcoming PC/Mac/Linux game that as you can see, certainly seems to have it going on in terms of delivering the frights.

So, what’s this stylistic and creepy psychological horror game about, you ask? Well, here’s what the official site says:

DARQ tells the story of Lloyd, a boy who becomes aware of the fact that he is dreaming. To Lloyd’s misfortune, the dream quickly turns into a nightmare and all attempts to wake up end in failure. While exploring the darkest corners of his subconscious, Lloyd learns how to survive the nightmare by bending the laws of physics and manipulating the fluid fabric of the dream world.

In DARQ, sound plays a very important role. There are sections of the game that take place in absolute darkness and in order to navigate the environment, Lloyd has to rely on the location of sounds.

Yep. If you’ve ever had those nightmares where you know you’re sleeping, but wake up all sweaty looking around the room only to have something bizarre take place as you realize you’re having a nightmare inside that nightmare, DARQ will be right up that dark alley you don’t want to travel through. Of course, you’ll be going thataway because that thing chasing you is keeping you from going backward. Oops.

Some imagery to keep you awake nights. As if that trailer didn’t get all crawly under your skin enough:

While the game is still in development and doesn’t yet have a set release date other than TBA 2016, it sure is worth keeping an eyeballed peeled for. Let that image stick with you for the day (eww!). I’d say “have a good night”, but it’s early on a Friday morning. Still, you have to go home and sleep at some point, correct? My work here is done, then.

Happy ALIEN Day! Go Get Scared or Win Some Stuff (Or Both)

Posted on April 26, 2016 by geelw

“Hey, baaaaaaby…. ‘sup?” Photo Credit: Desmond Mo

So yes, it’s officially ALIEN Day and if you’re a fan of the franchise with some time and a bit of disposable income on your hands, there are a few ways to get involved in the festivities today.

The Alien Anthology page on Twitter has a big deal contest where video questions about the film pop up like chestbursters and you can answer them for a chance to win some awesome ALIEN to Prometheus-themed merchandise from what’s looking like every company that makes officially licensed swag based on the series. Continue reading →

ALIEN Day is Coming: Is Your Brain Ready For Some Pointed Questions?

Posted on April 19, 2016 by geelw

It figures that what with there being a Star Wars Day that’s taken off into a yearly festival of fun for many, someone at Fox would have kicked out the idea of an ALIEN Day and some sort of all-day contest to go with that.

Well, here you go: Starting April 26, 2016 (4/26, a reference to planet LV 426, naturally), there will be 24 hours of all-ALIEN thrills for everyone from movie buffs to those new to the franchise (there’s always someone who’s NEVER seen an ALIEN flick!) who want to know what the fuss is all about.

Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products has announced an out-of-this-world global celebration of the ALIEN franchise culminating with a special 24 hour, fan-focused social media event on April 26th – a nod to LV-426, the planet from the iconic ALIEN films. ALIEN DAY (#AlienDay426) will encompass a wide range of executions including nationwide screenings, never-before-seen consumer product activations and the kickoff of the ALIEN: Ultimate Trivia Challenge, allowing fans to test their ALIEN knowledge – with the chance to win prizes every 42.6 minutes on Twitter (@AlienAnthology). Fans may register now for the contest at ALIEN Anthology and refer to “Official Rules” for additional details.

The funny thing is, while Star Wars Day is a super family-friendly time indeed, I can’t see this catching on with the younger set. Hell, I’m old enough to remember this toy-related debacle which I actually had one of (they were quite cheap a few months after release because no one seemed to be buying them as no kids were seeing ALIEN in theaters thanks to the “R” rating and the culture being a lot different back then). It ended up in my younger brother’s possession when I moved out and yep, I came back a few years later and he’d tossed the box, lost the head cover and pretty much killed off my dream of reselling the thing for a hefty profit. Ah well…

Anyway, I’d imagine NOT answering those trivia questions correctly would result in a Xenomorph knocking at your door to deliver the news you didn’t win a prize. Um, you probably don’t want to answer that knock unless you want to become that rotten egg no one wants for breakfast in the morning. Just a word of warning…

May’s Arrow Video Releases Are Pretty Sharp Stuff

Posted on April 10, 2016 by geelw

While there will be only three Arrow Video releases for May 2016 from MVD Entertainment Group, all should please fans of their respective genres. I’m all over this trio like a cheap suit on sale to a broke guy looking for work:

Nico Mastorakis’ and Peter Rader’s 1990 film Hired to Kill (MSRP: $39.95, May 17) was and is a total hoot. Between the wild action scenes and the awesome cast that includes Oliver Reed, George Kennedy, and Brian Thompson, this mid-budget “B” features Thompson as a merc posing as a fashion designer sent in to bump off an evil dictator type with the help of seven female assassins (posing as models of course!). Yep, it’s as silly as it sounds and double yep, Mastorakis makes it work well in his inimitable style. Bullets, bombs and bikinis all blazing in a 1990’s manner? Sign me up!

Bonus Materials

Brand new 2K restoration of the film, approved by writer-director Nico Mastorakis
High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) and Standard Definition DVD presentations
Original Stereo audio (uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing
Audio Commentary with editor Barry Zetlin
Hired to Direct – a brand new interview with director Nico Mastorakis on the making of Hired to Kill
Undercover Mercenary – a brand new interview with star Brian Thompson
Original Theatrical Trailer
Stills Gallery
Original Screenplay, entitled Freedom or Death (BD/DVD-ROM Content)
Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Graham Humphreys
Fully-illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing by critic James Oliver