Capsule Review: Knightin’+ (PS4)

Knightin' PS4_01

Warm and fuzzy, indeed: Familiarity does not breed contempt here.

Knightin' PS4When you play Knightin’ yes, you’ll be fightin’ monsters, traps, and more.
A bit like Zelda, and you’ll say, “Well, duh. I think I know that score!”.
But this game’s shorter, so you oughta temper expectations.
It’s great to vacuum up some time, but might not sweep the nation.

You just start playin’ – soon you’re slayin’ all creatures in you path.
Bosses are tough, but skills and gear can beat down all their wrath.
The writin’s great – you may let out a chuckle as it goes.
I wish the game were more fleshed out, four dungeons here just blows.

But still, they’re great – appreciate the hat tip to nostalgia.
Timing and precision rule, lest you go to Valhalla.
The tunes are bliss, they sure don’t miss that classic gaming beat.
A big grin and a toe that taps work even in defeat.

Collision woes may give you throes, but practice makes perfection.
See and learn those areas where parts need a correction.
It’s all good, though – the game will flow when things go with the plan.
And if they do a sequel – well, I’ll surely play that, man!

 

Knightin’+ is $5.99 on PSN, but you can get it digitally on Switch, Xbox One and PC as well. The EastAsiaSoft physical edition seems to be sold out, but you can see if Play-Asia can get you one, as they’re the only place to get it for the retail price outside of an auction site’s gouging. It’s quite nostalgic and funny, gets straight to the point with no filler and it’s worth a few plays even if you’re just collecting the 16 trophies. Indie developer Muzt Die Studios and port house Ratalaika Games did a great job overall here. Sir Lootalot’s adventures may seem short, but there’s a good chance you be back for more as the game is so much fun to play. And yes, a longer sequel would be nice.

Score: B+ (85%)

-GW

-Review code provided by the publisher

Review: Yaga (PS4)

Yaga_01a

For all that balalaika ringing out, this beastie just wants to keep you warm inside its stomach…

So, I wrote a poem as a game review again, or a game review as a poem. Cover your ears or something:

It took a while, oh yes, it did.
But this review’s now just un-hid
It’s for a game named Yaga ($24.99), see,
in some ways, it’s a victory.

Delivered in verse, the story is.
A nice choice, but it’s not for kids
Some blood’s here (you can turn it off)
Plus dark content might make some cough.

The brilliant writing and voices match
the music here, your ears will catch.
Painterly graphics wrap up this show
where myths from Slavic lands will flow.

You play a blacksmith with such bad luck
he’s one-armed ’cause he didn’t duck
and now is cursed to walk the land.
Problems he’ll solve with one good hand.

He’s fated to spend his bad time here
with witches binding moves so clear.
You pick a fate to trouble him
and then you set off with that whim.

That random nature hurts, but helps
you beat the foes, rescue the whelps.
It surely keeps you on your toes
wherever that cursed blacksmith goes.

While fixing things, he’s also tasked
With his Grandma’s most constant ask:
“Go find a wife to share your life”
(As if the Tzar’s decrees aren’t strife).

A black-bird will tell you to craft
So listen well, now – don’t be daft
You’ll make some gear to turn the tide
or be in for a tougher ride

But, weapons break via bad luck curse
Sometimes it seems, the timing’s worse.
Until you see that fate is tied.
All magic makes that meter slide

Now, even with less magic use
That bar will fill, and cook you goose.
Your carried weapon will just break
(and swapping it won’t make it fake).

You learn to deal (well, you’d better fast)
Escape that curse? Nope, that won’t last.
Get Yaga her gifts, aid folks you meet
Or else, it’s doom, right on the street.

Four times, you’ll play this game at least
Four paths to choose, from man to beast.
All these are based on choices made
so pick the path you’ve not yet played.

While levels could be better here
And combat seems to have less flair
The things I liked made this stand out
So buy this game! Oh, yes, I’ll shout.

-GW

Continue reading

Yaga Calls, So Let’s Follow, Shall We?

Bad poetry for a good game alert (I guess that’s a trigger warning for some):

YAGA 4

What’s a Yaga you ask?
Is a Q fit to task
Here you go,
so you know
what lies under the mask:

It’s here via some Breadcrumbs,
and Versus Evil‘s fine hands
and sure looks like fun
So, there go your plans
(I’ll say that to those who’ve now become fans)

The art is quite lovely,
the music is prime,
that animation is yes, what I’d call sublime
All together, I’d bet it’s a great, super time
(I’ll need to post a review not in rhyme)

So, if you’re in the mood
for great Slavic themes
and want a fine game
That won’t cause bad dreams
Well, this one’s for you- I could call you “dude”
but that’s too exclusive and I’m not that rude!

YAGA 2

(Surviving to the end of my lousy verse gets you more screenshots, by the way):

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

-GW

PC Review: Yooka-Laylee

While playing Yooka-Laylee,
the words, they kinda fail me
it all feels so nineteen-ninety nine.

That’s really not a bad thing
Fact: parts of it indeed sing
But others have me screaming half the time.

The camera’s got the jitters
This game’s not made for quitters
But still, it takes some patience to align.

The game world’s quite expansive
with infinite life chances
But tumbling off those ledges? Not sublime.

To give Playtonic their due
when stuff works well, it feels true
and older fans will find a lot of shine.

But games have come a long way
Those mascots, they’ve had their day
And newer work has fixed what was a “crime.”

The old school’s kinda backwards
One time it won most placards
But now, it’s seen more classical than prime.

The Ratchets, Slys, and others
Are the more modern druthers
So, is this vintage style worth your dime?

Provided you mind its quirks
You’ll find quite a few good perks
Collectibles galore? Tough to decline!

Those flaws, the dev can fix them
And make this game a true gem
bringing those bugs to heel as benign.

For Rare fans reminiscing
There’s fun here, but lots missing
But there’s no need to yell a lot or whine.

Whether pre-bought or now still sold
I’d say bad reviews will seem old
But only if the update redesigns!

Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end) Quickie: The Pit and the Pendulum (Or: That Funky Cold Medina)

The Pit and the Pendulum 1961So, here’s how MY Saturday night went. I’m sitting in the living room watching “The Price of Fear” marathon on This TV (which seems to be an offshoot of WPIX here in NYC that shows better movies, albeit edited for network standards) and during a commercial break in The Pit and the Pendulum (I know, I know – but I can’t pass up those Vincent Price/Roger Corman films anywhere they’re aired), I heard some loud music booming outside from someone going deaf in his or her car.

A few seconds later I end up nearly falling off the couch laughing because the song playing with its bumpy bass hanging out the window is none other than Tone Loc’s ode to lousy overpriced wine, Funky Cold Medina. Bwah and ha. Suddenly, my Saturday night got a great deal more interesting…

Continue reading

Indiegala’s Monday Sale This Week Nets Some Bad Poetry (But Hey, It’s A FREE Poem!)…

indiegala EMB 

Another Monday full of stress?
I think you need some games for less!
To Indiegala, you now must click
This bargain’s great for thin or thick!
Seven games for a great price
Some music, too (it sounds quite nice!)
All under two bucks for a day
So go get yours and then go play!

Yeah, yeah – you get a crappy and very quickly written poem because I’m buried in catching up on a few things after my lousy weekend online. Anyway, seven games and some funky music to make your ears and other parts dance. $1.49 for 24 hours. Go grab them and get busy!

Happy Mother’s Day (Or Else)…

Some get along with Moms they love
and gift them with that velvet glove
The other group, they’re not above
the want to find a cliff, then shove.

But whether you choose love or hate
You must admit there’s no debate
You’re here because yes, it’s your fate
(Now quiet down and clean your plate!)

Some moms are fit to raise their broods
and never seem to reach bad moods
But others haven’t got the goods
(Their kids get left out in the woods)

But even if Mom’s good or bad,
know she’s the only one you’ve had
And whether you’re now glad or sad
In most respects, you can’t be mad!

So, raise a glass, drink of your choice
and let your Mom know with your voice
just what you’re feeling, gals and boys
(But not too loud, now – noise annoys!)

(I’ll add video credits later tonight, as I had to write this in a hurry!)

Bad Poerty: Monday Again? Yeah, and You Can’t Stop It.

(thanks, solutioncow

The grind begins anew dear friends
The whistle blows, it never ends
You roll your rock up that damned hill
It rolls right back, intent to kill

You suffer that eternal fate
For roof and food set on a plate
While those above you’ve never toiled
Their hands pristine and never soiled

(thanks, texeratx texeratx!) 

They pay you what they think you’re worth
It’s not a lot (much to their mirth)
You only see them when they wish
You’re treated like some tiny fish

Caught in the mouth of bigger ones
That torch is passed onto your sons
and daughters who, some now confined
by laws that clip their wings and bind

(thanks,pwskidmarx!) 

Is there a way out? Maybe so
But you’re too occupied to know
So turn that crank and spin that wheel
The pain? You’re not supposed to feel

And when that quitting time bell rings
Your aching body squeaks and sings
And back home then to eat and snore
Then Tuesday’s come – you’re back for more!

-GW

Despicable Me 2 Toy Profile of the Week (9): A Little Traveling Music, Please!

2012-12-10 037 2012-12-10 043

When Minions need a quick get-around
and their feet can’t touch solid ground
You’d best believe that pound for pound
That Minon Mobile’s mighty sound

With Minion Tim right at the wheel
(he’s got a license he didn’t steal!)
He’s got that “get there fast!” appeal
(just listen to those tires squeal!)

Yep, Thinkway Toys has whipped this up
to blaze right past your cat or pup
Whether you’re a kid or young grownup
You’ll want this ride without holdup!

Shown:

Minion Mobile (9”)

Age: 4+; Approximate Retail Price: $39.99
• Includes Voice, Lights and Sounds
• 10+ Sayings
• Comes with Minion Tim Driver

Available at a toy retailer near you starting in May. Despicable Me 2 is in theaters on July 2, 2013.

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: It’s A Dog’s Life…

DPTDCLOGO

140113-1546-11

“Spotted dogs have appeared throughout history in Europe, Asia, and Africa, credited with a dozen nationalities and as many native names. The dog we know today as the Dalmatian has been a dog of war, a draft dog, shepherd, ratter, fire-apparatus follower, firehouse mascot, bird dog, trail hound and retriever. Most importantly, he is the original and only coaching dog. His affinity for horses remains a basic instinct to this day and the breed is a natural follower and guardian of the horse-drawn vehicle.”

Source: American Kennel Club

So, now that you know you don’t need 101 (or 102) Dalmatians at all to keep a child safe, ladies and gents… just one really well-trained one. The again, I’d bet a forest full of those spotted dogs would be keeping that creepy Red Seeds Killer a bit more at bay (pun intended) and FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) a lot less busy…

DPDC PS3 US EFS 2D RealAnyway, make sure you don’t go howling at the moon yourself because you missed out on picking up a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, headed exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013 from Rising Star Games. Featuring over 100 improvements over the original game, refined HD graphics, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, all-new DLC and MORE. You’ll only find out what a dog and small child are doing mixed up in all this only if you play the game (no, the ghost of W.C. Fields isn’t in the game at all, but it would be funny to those who remember his work), so now that you’re curious, you can get on board the same train to Greenville a lot of us are already riding.

swery_birthday to youOff topic (woof!), Yesterday was Game Director Swery 65’s birthday! For real! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  OK, because I didn;t know about this until after the fact, I didn’t get him a gift at all. Er, except that post I wrote for that day, so I feel a bit bad about that. The again, he really liked the post, so it’s all good in the end. I suppose it WOULD be bad form to let him know what MY birthday is (it’s coming up next month), but if he asks me, I’ll let him know right away…