Dark Souls III Hands-On: Reliable And Improved, Yet Death’s Still Got The Edge

Posted on August 26, 2015 by geelw

The nice list of changes and improvements to Dark Souls III may fool some players into believing the series has gone soft in its third installment. However, FromSoftware and the assorted AI enemies out for your digital scalp will be laughing at those who take this upcoming PC, PS4 and Xbox one game lightly. While the game adds new charge attack and block-breaking moves to the already fine repertoire, all that really means is expert Souls players will have some new skills to make shorter work of certain enemies and new players will need to learn this isn’t a straight-up hack and slash game at all. The demo shown at Bandai Namco’s NYC event was thrilling and a ton of deadly fun to play.
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Chronicles of Teddy: Harmony of Exidus: Somebody Bring Me a Bear!

Posted on August 21, 2015 by geelw

I’ll have to admit that the title Chronicles of Teddy: Harmony of Exidus confused me for a bit because I thought it was the name of the playable hero and that character art above certainly doesn’t scream “Teddy” to me at all. In fact, that’s a girl named Tarrant and Teddy is actually her loyal plush bear.

Adding to the confusion was once I poked around the internet I found out that this game is the sequel to developer LookAtMyGame’s gorgeous-looking Finding Teddy, a PC and mobile point and click adventure where the title tells you what that game is actually about. In that game, a little girl’s stuffed toy is “kidnapped” into a strange fantasy world and she goes after it, facing off against assorted hazards along the way.

The sequel (which, amusingly enough is called Finding Teddy 2 on Steam) has Tarrant in a more action/RPG style of game with an entirely different (and still lovely) pixel art style and more familiar gameplay action/platform fans should love. Aksys Games will be publishing the game in North America for the PS4 and Wii U this fall as a digital-only release and if that trailer and all those positive Steam reviews are any indication, this one will be a must-play keeper.

At the very least, it’ll certainly make me forget all about paying full price for Magus back when it was released last year. Anyway, keep an eye on this one, folks.

RymdResa: Retro Rockets In Random Space Hit Steam

Posted on August 20, 2015 by geelw

Well, the eyes aren’t really lying at all. Morgondag’s stellar space rogue-like exploration game RymdResa is out now on Steam at a temporary 10% discount off its $11.99 price tag ($10.79). The game is a beautiful blend of retro visuals, languid pacing and slyly terrifying moments where your ship is about to run low on resources often at the wrong moment. Toss in a disembodied voice spouting seemingly random poetic musings along with a gorgeous ambient score and you get an instant classic with wide appeal.

I’ll have a review up over the weekend, but if the demo I’ve been playing on and off between other things (a demo that’s been taking time away from other games and stuff, mind you) is any indication, this one’s a keeper or a sleeper. The good thing is the developer is getting their great little game onto a few other platforms (Xbox One, Wii U, iPad and Linux), so some of you out there using those will soon be able to experience the same cold space and give your zen-like reflexes a total workout.

Back with a review shortly.

The Frog And Pig Split For Ratings. Color Me Not Amused One Bit

Posted on August 19, 2015 by geelw

I really shouldn’t care a whit about this, but it’s bugged me that the media has fallen over themselves to make the Kermit-Piggy “divorce” a story as if it’s a real thing. Yuck. Who’s the main sponsor of this show anyway, Ashley Madison? Anyway, why the hell does something as crappy as divorce need to be introduced into a family-friendly set of characters as the Muppets?

Yeah, yeah, Sesame Street has done the reality thing as a means to explain some real world situations such as death and prison to its young audience. But in the case of this upcoming ABC show, it smacks of nonsense that’s only there to add a whiff of modern-day “reality” show nonsense to what should have been more of a throwback to the original variety show. Ugh.

On the other hand, I guess I should have seen it coming as both Kermie and Piggy have had someone else’s hand up their butts for decades.

Speaking of Sesame Street, the HBO deal? Great for subscribers to HBO but terrible for anyone not getting more than basic cable. Between that (so long, low income viewers!) and the shows possibly being chopped to half an hour thanks to modern short attention spans, you have to wonder what was being thought about other than money when all is said and done. Of course, that money thing seems to be partially thanks to online streaming wrecking certain home video revenue streams for good. But I guess thinking of (all) the children doesn’t pay the bills unless you deal with the devil in one way or another. Ah well.

I won’t be watching the new Muppet show anyway (the concept is s total turn-off to me) and I haven’t watched Sesame Street in years. Well, okay… I lied. Out f curiosity I did recently check out the close to 30 parodies they’ve made over the last few seasons and all are hilarious. Although, I do question the idea of making parodies of mature shows that aren’t for kids at all (Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men, Game of Thrones) because the parodies work TOO damn well.

I guess I should be glad there’s no SS parody of The Wire… yet.

Stella Glow: You Can Tune A Piano, But Can You Tune A Witch?

Posted on August 19, 2015 by geelw

Oh, the mighty (and lousy) puns I came up with for this new 3DS game! Atlus is bringing over Imageepoch’s Stella Glow, a JRPG where you’ll need to “tune” witches in order to use their song magic powers against assorted creatures. It seems as if the tuning process and deep heart elements lift some of play mechanics from the Ar Tonelico series, but if you loved those games on the PS2 and PS3 and happen to own a 3DS, you’ll be in absolute heaven. Witch means you’ll be waiting for this around the holidays when it ships out in North America.

I see there’s a Fire Witch in the game and the game description I got notes that there are five witches total to tune. Which makes me pun-der if there’s a Sand Witch to tune at some point. I’m not sure if the tuning leads to any romance angles, but if so, would that mean if your character decide to settle down with one of them, they can say “I Married A Witch” at some point? If there’s a kid from that union and it’s a boy you can call him Son of a Witch? Which witch wishes willingly for waterproof watches? Do witches even wear watches? I have not a clue. But I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

There Goes The Neighborhood: Death of The American

Posted on August 15, 2015 by geelw

There used to be five movie theaters within walking distance of my place, six if you wanted to hoof it along a nearby highway for a spell to hit a former drive in turned multiplex. Now there are a mere two movie theaters total in the entire Bronx area, which is a shame and a sham simultaneously. When it abruptly shut down last year, The American (which was originally a Loews theater before passing in to a few hands over the years) wasn’t exactly a grand theater. Well, at least it wasn’t for the last decade or two. But it was close by, cheaper than going into Manhattan and even if the movie you saw stunk, at least the audience could be somewhat entertaining and annoying as they tend to be when all one desires is to hear what’s on screen without any peanut gallery antics. Continue reading →

Dungeon Travelers 2 Hands-On: Fan Service Steamy Express, Inbound

Posted on August 7, 2015 by geelw

Let’s get this out of the way first: Atlus’ upcoming PS Vita JRPG Dungeon Travelers 2: The Royal Library & the Monster Seal is NOT for kids. Period, end of story. Developer Aquaplus’ first-person dungeon crawler may have that cute anime look to it, but the mash up of bishojo game and classic (albeit simplified) Wizardry gameplay seems to have twisted many gamers into human pretzels as they either express offense at the content or defense at wanting to buy the game.

The thing is, half-naked artwork and cheesy dialog aside… the game isn’t “porn” by any stretch of the imagination unless it’s an overactive one at work. Some of the furor about the game comes from the presentation of its female characters in assorted states of undress, some silly cut scenes that let players linger as long as they want to on images and oddly enough, the fact that the ESRB determined a mere four of these images to be worthy of getting edited from the final North American product. While some journalists are doing the “A-ha!” dance around those unseen images (you can look them up online if you wish), they’re also busy unintentionally or intentionally insulting not only Atlus’ decision to publish the game, but people who may want to buy the game in the process. Continue reading →

Blu-Ray/DVD Review: Contamination

Posted on August 4, 2015 by geelw

Up until a few years back, I’d never considered Luigi Cozzi’s sci-fi and fantasy films anything more than hilariously terrible pastiches of far better films. But getting older and mellower has made me take a fresh look and appreciate them a lot more, warts and all. I’m finding that while somewhat hampered by budgetary constraints and packed with some truly laugh-worthy visual effects, there’s an earnestness and respectable amount of passion in them that makes up for most of the inadequacies.

Yes, Star Crash still makes me cringe and the two Hercules films are more overly colorful comic book reworkings gone haywire of classic mythology. But you can clearly feel the director’s intent on making movies from the heart even as they bust your gut from unintentional and intentional laughter.

Contamination, Cozzi’s 1980 gorier “homage” to Ridley Scott’s classic Alien has gotten an excellent Blu-Ray restoration thanks to Arrow Video. Not only do you get a lovely AVC encoded 1080p high definition transfer in 1.85.1 widescreen, there’s a great set of old and new interviews with the director and Maurizio Guarini of Goblin (who did the film’s score) as well as a fun look at other Italian genre flicks that swiped ideas from blockbusters. As for the film itself, as I hadn’t seen it for over 30 years, it was certainly a fun and bloody trip down memory lane as well as something of a love letter to New York City where some of the establishing shots were films.
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More Arrows In The Air Land Hard This Fall

Posted on July 30, 2015 by geelw

Arrow Video’s North American assault on the senses continues courtesy of US distributor MVD Entertainment Group with September and October’s picks guaranteed to get film collectors and genre fans snapping up each of these new releases. Carlo Lizzani’s 1967 spaghetti western Requiescant is first up. Coming to Blu-Ray/DVD September 22, the film is a somewhat obscure revenge tale also known as Kill and Pray. Next up is the 1985 slasher flick, The Mutilator, one of those films you’ll be watching from halfway under the couch if you’re squeamish. I haven’t seen this one since it came out back then, so it’ll be interesting to find out if it still get me like it did in that dingy theater I caught it in.

Go blindfold the kids and family pet(s) now. Below the jump are some flicks not for the kiddies at all! Continue reading →

Review: Lost Dimension (PS3/PS Vita)

Posted on July 28, 2015 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation 3/PS Vita
Developer: FuRyu
Publisher: Atlus
# of Players: 1
ESRB Rating: T (Teen)
MSRP: $39.99
Official Site
Score: B (80%)

He may be smiling outside, but he’s really going to kill you inside. The End.

Oh, how I do wish there were a Lost Dimension OVA or short-run anime series. Just so I could see the scene at the close of one episode when villain The End materializes outside that strange massive pillar he’s dropped in the middle of Tokyo to address some reporters who’ve popped up outside with their news vans and a moderately sized crowd of terrified (but terminally nosy) gawkers. In my somewhat addled brain, the English dub would go something like this:

REPORTER: Mr. The End! You’ve dropped this massive Pillar onto the city, killed over two billion people around the world and are threatening the human race with total extinction! What will you do now?!

THE END (dryly): Hmmm… I guess I’ll go to Disney World… and kill everyone there as well.

Whereupon The End would smirk, drift high up into the air and vanish as the crowd below gasps and chatters away. As that reporter is making some dopey closing commentary, the camera would pull way back as he or she is talking right before a huge chunk of rubble drops on top of everyone outside. Cut to The End looking down and grinning as we get a freeze frame shot of his face and THE END in big letters fading in before the closing credit theme kicks in.

Hey, I did say he means business, didn’t I? THE END.

Yeah, I’d pay real money to see that. But I’m a bit crazy.

Anyway, my poorly plotted final fan fiction fantasy dream aside, let’s talk about the game in question. Lost Dimension comes to you from developers FuRyu (with an Lancarse assist) and publisher Atlus as a solid, intriguing hybrid of visual novel and tactical RPG. It’s a game that takes a number of genre cliches (and the fact that JRPG fans love them) and flips them onto their heads as it asks you to kill off your team one by one in order to advance the plot. While that’s going on you also need to bond with as many of your remaining teammates as possible before the final showdown. And you need to do this twice in order to get that best ending.

I usually don’t do this, but I’m going to go and gently spoil some of the obvious stuff the game slaps you with hard just to make sure it’s understood how important it is to NOT automatically like the cast from the get-go.

Oh really? Well you’re still getting voted off the island, missy!

The game doesn’t care a whit how cute you think Himeno is or that Marco wears bangin’ headphones and has a snowman or whatever the hell that is on his outfit. In fact, going into the game with notions of “saving” characters you like is a really terrible idea. Not only will you be disappointed that someone you’re attached to is going to get theirs at your hands, you’ll end up in a frustrating loop of trying to reload saves that won’t matter at all as you try to salvage someone who needs to die anyway… Continue reading →