The Frog And Pig Split For Ratings. Color Me Not Amused One Bit

Pig and FrogI really shouldn’t care a whit about this, but it’s bugged me that the media has fallen over themselves to make the Kermit-Piggy “divorce” a story as if it’s a real thing. Yuck. Who’s the main sponsor of this show anyway, Ashley Madison? Anyway, why the hell does something as crappy as divorce need to be introduced into a family-friendly set of characters as the Muppets?

Yeah, yeah, Sesame Street has done the reality thing as a means to explain some real world situations such as death and prison to its young audience. But in the case of this upcoming ABC show, it smacks of nonsense that’s only there to add a whiff of modern-day “reality” show nonsense to what should have been more of a throwback to the original variety show. Ugh.

On the other hand, I guess I should have seen it coming as both Kermie and Piggy have had someone else’s hand up their butts for decades.

Speaking of Sesame Street, the HBO deal? Great for subscribers to HBO but terrible for anyone not getting more than basic cable. Between that (so long, low income viewers!) and the shows possibly being chopped to half an hour thanks to modern short attention spans, you have to wonder what was being thought about other than money when all is said and done. Of course, that money thing seems to be partially thanks to online streaming wrecking certain home video revenue streams for good. But I guess thinking of (all) the children doesn’t pay the bills unless you deal with the devil in one way or another. Ah well.

I won’t be watching the new Muppet show anyway (the concept is s total turn-off to me) and I haven’t watched Sesame Street in years. Well, okay… I lied. Out f curiosity I did recently check out the close to 30 parodies they’ve made over the last few seasons and all are hilarious. Although, I do question the idea of making parodies of mature shows that aren’t for kids at all (Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men, Game of Thrones) because the parodies work TOO damn well.

I guess I should be glad there’s no SS parody of The Wire… yet.

Oh, WTF? Urban Tarzan? REALLY? Your Brain Just Melted, Trust Me.

OK kids… “Reality” TV has not only officially run out of lousy ideas (well, it’s been like that for a while), they’ve potentially gone too far for even the normally well-fooled rubes to watch. And if PETA wants to go ape-shit over that cough medicine sucking chimp, I say go for it.

But, whatever. I can’t stop you from wasting your time at all (hey, it’s a free country, right?), but I’m upping my BS call-o-meter to include every channel that runs crap in a bowl like this and expects it to last more than a season. Waste of time and money, I say. Talent? Meh, not so much, but I’d expect some agents and PR people to be strung up within a few weeks…

HBO’s Phil Spector Trailer: Earplugs For The Wall of Sound (With A Pair of Blinders Too)…

 

Call me crazy, but I find this whole need to recapture every big media frenzy tale that really doesn’t need to be retold because someone actually died as a truncated TV or big deal high-budget movie presented once completed as “based on actual events”, “inspired by a true story” or however else any flick that mixes made up for extra oomph and actual things that happened to be kind of stupid. Granted, movies have been doing this for decades, but it’s getting so damn predictable that anyone committing a crime worthy of a few too many news cycles has practically got MADE FOR TEE-VEE tramp-stamped in big type (and misspelled exactly like that) just where you’d expect.

That said, I bet this will be a total hoot, between Mamet’s tendency to write his dialog all too well and Pacino’s tendency to be Pacino in crazy mode with some of his more out-there performances. On the other hand, this might actually be good… but I really don’t give a flying rat about the subject matter. So…. will I watch this? No. Or to be more truthful, Hell no (but if it’s reviewed as unintentionally hilarious, well… I lied and there goes two hours when it’s rebroadcast)…

Spike TV’s American Diggers: The Curse Of The Dummy’s Boom…

Yikes. So are we as a nation THAT hard up for cash that we’d ring up a company run by an ex-pro wrestler turned “artifact recovery expert” to carefully (allegedly) dig and scrape out our land for any historical relics that, even though they SHOULD go into a museum, we can pawn for much-needed cash? Minus whatever fee (and cut of the loot) the company gets and whatever rights we sign away to be on the show? Apparently so. Wait, what? They’ve been around since 2005 and even have a magazine as well?  Who reads magazines about this stuff these days (and are there Goldline ads in them)?

My head hurts now. Of course, I’ll be doing what I usually do with “reality” TV – give it a wide berth and let those who want to dig it, do so.  Nevertheless, I’d not be surprised at all to see an ad for the show that starts off with some rockin’ theme and a beefy voice saying “Where my Diggers at?!”

Feh, where’s Indiana Jones when you nee… No, wait… er, Where’s Lara Croft when y.. Um… er… aha! Where’s Arne Saknussemm when you need him? (I had to pick SOMEONE that you guys had to look up who hasn’t been turned into a pop culture icon yet… in this century, at least)…