PS Vita Review: Trillion: God of Destruction

Posted on April 4, 2016 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation Vita/PS TV

Developer: Compile Heart

Publisher: Idea Factory

# of Players: 1

MSRP: $39.99 (retail/PSN)

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: B+ (85%)

While it’s not perfect, fans of Compile Heart’s offbeat and often gal-filled JRPGs should find Trillion: God of Destruction right up their respective alleys. Actually, you’ll probably need to travel through at least one of those alleys and hope there’s a game shop located somewhere at the end of that trip so you can pick up a retail copy if digital isn’t your thing. The game feels like a hybrid that mixes Princess Maker-style mini-games, nice art that looks quite like a Disgaea spinoff (former team members from that series worked on the game), and core gameplay that’s akin to a Mystery Dungeon game meets Vandal Hearts 2 but with a more awkward camera that will mildly to moderately mess with your mojo.

After the titular titan Trillion bumps off Zeabolos, the Supreme Overlord of the Underworld, his brother and about a million minions, it’s up to his female Overlords to get revenge on that massive one plus a dozen zeroes HP creeping terror before it lays waste to their home. Poor Zeab is revived and reconstructed to the best of her ability by a lady with an appropriately Faustian name (Faust) who makes him an offer he can’t refuse. She creates a single ring that the Overlords can wear that will boost their powers considerably provided they also train while Trillion sleeps parked near the gates to the Underworld. Of course, Faust’s deal comes at the cost of Zeab’s soul once the big baddie goes beddie-bye for good. But whomever defeats Trillion instantly becomes his successor and new Overlord of the Underworld with all the riches, sweets and other treats that entails. Continue reading →

Jalopy Hands-On: Slow Riding a Lemon Is Actually Fun Times

Posted on April 1, 2016 by geelw

Of all the different games from Excalibur Publishing I’ve sampled over the past two months, Jalopy is out and out the best one to date. Created by Minskworks, which is Greg Pryjmachuk, a former game developer who worked on on the legendary Formula 1 franchise, Jalopy is both a visual throwback to the 1990’s and a solid, challenging car simulation for the modern age that’s more fun to play than certain AAA driving games. Set during the fall of Communism in the Eastern Bloc, players are tasked with owning and maintaining a beat up but lovable Laika 601 as they drive it around the GDR’s highways and countryside. Continue reading →

The Only April Fool’s Day Joke That Made Me Laugh Today

Posted on April 1, 2016 by geelw

Thank you, CD Projekt RED for *magically* getting water to shoot out my nose earlier today. It’s a definite April Fool’s gag, but I’d more than gladly pay that five bucks for talking horse DLC just for the chance to have an option to have Roach talk in a Mr. Ed voice. Okay, back to work here – I’m up to my wet nostril hairs in stuff to do.

What’s Cookin? Lingham’s Makes For Some Saucy Memories

Posted on April 1, 2016 by geelw

So, yeah. I haven’t done a nice cooking article in a while. But that’s probably because I’ve been in a bit of a food rut for a bit. I guess you could say it was something akin to this, but with me and a great deal less comedy (or something like that):

(thanks, HDTVADDICT!)

I cook the majority of my meals myself, only occasionally going out to eat or if I’m really lazy, buying precooked soft noodles and tossing assorted appropriate leftovers into a bowl for a zippy but dull lunch or supper. Oh, don’t go weeping into your freshly made consommé, kids – this story has a point! Anyway, about two weeks back I was dinking around the former Deals (which is now a Dollar Tree) picking up a loaf of nice Pepperidge Farms pumpernickel and I spied something that took me back about 30 or so years. Continue reading →

More Arrows Have Arrived – Now I Just Need A Snowstorm

Posted on March 30, 2016 by geelw

Yikes. As busy as I was/am this past week, it seems I’m about to be watching a lot more movies over the next week or so. Too bad it’s almost April as this would be the perfect time to get stuck indoors with a few feet of snow on the ground. Or not. Well, there’s a new Dollar Tree opening up tomorrow morning at 8 and it’s within walking distance. So my popcorn needs will be taken care of and I maybe tempted to grab a box of Dots or something movie candy-like if I don’t get trampled by all those old ladies and early bargain hunters who’ll flood the place and trash it before the day is through.

Okay, back to work here – I’m in the middle of something like half a dozen games (all worth your time and money) that need to be reviewed.

RymdResa on Sale: Half-Off (So You Can Go Get Spaced Out Cheaper)

Posted on March 28, 2016 by geelw

Relaxing yet somehow terrifying, Morgondag‘s RymdResa is one of those great game experiences open to all who give it a shot. The atmospheric space exploration game where no combat is s key feature is also one of the more compelling games you’ll ever play and at $5.99 for the next week, an even better bargain. If you stopped reading this here and went to check the game out, my work here is done. Everyone else, keep reading.

Gameplay is both zen-like and creep upon you intense as monitoring dwindling resources and shields while trying to survive everything from asteroid collisions to ominously massive space creatures of assorted origin trying to stop your travels cold makes for a great means of killing a few hours at a time. The game is also great for shorter play sessions as well, given that one can level up relatively quickly (within a few minutes), save, quit and pick up later on with no trouble.

Also, Morgondag is working on a new game called Imprint-X, a cosmic-themes puzzler where players need to solve what’s on screen in as few moves as possible. It looks pretty neat and yes you should go sign up on the game’s page when you can.

ADR1FT Floats Onto Steam – VR, Consoles to Follow

Posted on March 28, 2016 by geelw

“Here am I floating round my tin can. Far above the Moon. Planet Earth is blue. And there’s nothing I can do…”

While PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and VR-enabled PC and PS4 versions of threeonezero’s ADR1FT are still in the works, PC gamers with Steam accounts and rigs with decent specs can now purchase the game for $19.99. Even without the added virtual reality functionality 505 Games has a hit here that should go along way in convincing even the most ardent skeptic about the viability of VR for certain gaming and entertainment purposes.

Of course, getting past the new breed of hard-core internet skeptics who dub these sort of first-person experiences “walking simulators” (Bleh. There’s no “walking” here, as you play an astronaut stranded on a partially destroyed space station who needs to figure out what happened) will be the game’s biggest hurdle with the second issue for some being the estimated 4-6 hours it takes to complete the game. Length really isn’t something to whine about here as the game has enough elements to make it replayable as well as a conversation piece to show off for the outstanding Unreal 4-powered visuals.

And if you really want to show off something even more physical, you can boogie on over to iam8bit.com to check out their cool online shop and snag one of those cool ADR1FT Collector’s Edition boxes for $54.95. That price nets you two digital codes for the game (PC and Oculus Rift VR versions), one of two different 756 piece jigsaw puzzles, a nice embroidered HAN-1V patch and a pack of “tasty” astronaut ice cream, all in a big box for safekeeping (but probably not guaranteed to survive being sent into actual space).

Hannibal Duress, Or: Words to the Not So Wise

Posted on March 28, 2016 by geelw

Feh. Even more than usual these days it seems the internet can be chock full of not too bright people who should be ignored at all cost. No matter how patient you are, some of these people want nothing more to drain your sanity with inanity while laughing at your heroically feeble attempts at civility. Having an “opinion” biased to the point of making you a total idiot who doesn’t know what you’re talking about and being loud and persistent about it because that’s how you “win” every time isn’t anything to be smug about. All that does is leave you with online “friends” who think like you, like what you say and will prop your soapbox up only until someone louder and more annoying comes along to kick you off that box and take over your airtime.

That said, I’ll shut up now and let those of you who groove on tooting your own horn about things known little about continue to do your stuff. Have at it. Ignorance is bliss only up until you wish you knew what the hell you were talking about in the first place once you get into actual trouble because your one-way thinking has backed you into a corner with the dogs you’ve helped breed coming for you.

Blu-Ray Review: The Mutilator (Fall Break)

Posted on March 26, 2016 by geelw

If you missed out on Buddy Cooper’s amusing and gory slasher flick The Mutilator way back when it was in theaters or later on VHS, you’re in for a treat thanks to Arrow Video. This one’s got the goofy acting and eyebrow-raising plot holes you’d expect from the genre, but it’s the exceptionally nifty gore effects from Mark Shostrom (Videodrome, Evil Dead II) that will get most viewers on the hook (pun intended).

As for special features, Arrow packs the disc with a raft of bonus content that makes the film a lot more enjoyable thanks to all the great interviews with the cast and crew that participated. These extras are all a great thing as the story here is pretty standard genre wrangling saved by some humor and the aforementioned gore effects.

Ten years after accidentally shooting his mother, Ed Jr. (Matt Mitler) gets a phone call from his dad with a request to close up his beach condo for the winter. After his girlfriend Pam (Ruth Martinez), and school chums Ralph (Bill Hitchcock), Sue (Connie Rogers), Mike (Morey Lampley), and Linda (Frances Raines) invite themselves along for a little fun in the cool fall sun, they discover the condo in a rather messy state. Chalking it up to Big Ed being drunk with a few friends, two of the teens commence their usual getting drunk and splitting up for some alone time antics. Let’s just say Big Ed has a little (okay, somewhat large and sharp) axe to grind with his son… and his poor friends just so happen to be in the wrong place at the right time for him to get in some prime chop time. Continue reading →

Nintendo 3DS Review: Sadame

Posted on March 25, 2016 by geelw

Platform: Nintendo 3DS

Developer: Mebius

Publisher: Rising Star Games

# of Players: 1

MSRP: $14.99

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: B 80%

It’s somewhat surprising that with so many RPGs available on the Nintendo 3DS, the old-school dirt simple hack & slash sub-genre is somewhat underrepresented. Granted, you’re probably not going to get a fancy looking Diablo or Torchlight-style game up and running on the 3DS hardware without some miracle coding skill and Nintendo completely missed the boat on localizing the fantastic DS game Soma Bringer to the west some years back. Thankfully, Rising Star Games has taken up the chase ‘n chop mantle with Ishi-Sengoku-Den “Sadame” (heretofore shortened to Sadame for the remainder of this review).

The game takes the basic formula found in Blizzard’s classic franchise and adds a feudal Japanese setting, simplified gameplay and multiple routes through four acts that feature multiple routes which add replay value if you want to explore every inch of the maps. While the results aren’t flawless, gamers with more open minds and a willingness to deal with a few quirks will get a lot more out of what’s here than those who come in with a load of expectations.
Continue reading →