Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Teaser Makes EVERYONE a Critic


Wow. Well, I generally hate over-hyped movies to no end, but the marketing team for Luc Besson’s gorgeous-looking upcoming adaptation of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is made up of some raise-deserving geniuses. Clearly realizing the director’s work tends to be polarizing to those who take it too seriously or go in with biases, they’ve decided to let anyone who comments on the trailer get their own personalized blurb version just for commenting on the teaser. This made me chuckle to no end and yes, I needed that laugh. If you need a similar laugh of your own, well here you go. Have at it and feel free to share that link when you get it.

Advertisements

Hannibal Duress, Or: Words to the Not So Wise

eat the rude
 

Feh. Even more than usual these days it seems the internet can be chock full of not too bright people who should be ignored at all cost. No matter how patient you are, some of these people want nothing more to drain your sanity with inanity while laughing at your heroically feeble attempts at civility. Having an “opinion” biased to the point of making you a total idiot who doesn’t know what you’re talking about and being loud and persistent about it because that’s how you “win” every time isn’t anything to be smug about. All that does is leave you with online “friends” who think like you, like what you say and will prop your soapbox up only until someone louder and more annoying comes along to kick you off that box and take over your airtime.

That said, I’ll shut up now and let those of you who groove on tooting your own horn about things known little about continue to do your stuff. Have at it. Ignorance is bliss only up until you wish you knew what the hell you were talking about in the first place once you get into actual trouble because your one-way thinking has backed you into a corner with the dogs you’ve helped breed coming for you.

The Martian Trailer 2: Get With The Space Program, Already


 

The funny thing is, after I decided to recently zip through the book (it’s a great summer read, by the way) and took the longer range viewpoint I usually do, these trailers really don’t bug me at all. In a way, the filmmakers are a bit pushed and painted into the proverbial corner because being too vague means you get unfairly compared to Chris Nolan’s Interstellar (although that’s what’s been happening online anyway). On the other hand, anyone who didn’t like Prometheus and didn’t know Ridley Scott’s other, better sci-fi films might see either of the two trailers and say to themselves (or online to whomever is reading what they write) “Not THAT guy again!” or words to that effect. Rock, meet hard place. Of course, a film’s performance should be based on how well it does among those who actually see it as opposed to those who don’t and won’t that spend more time griping about it.

The Martian banner 

But so goes the modern world these days, I guess. The Martian is in theaters October 2, 2015. Go read the book at some point beforehand. Or afterwards.

The Martian Trailer: Reading Is Fundamental. The Internet is NOT.

While this gorgeous trailer for Ridley Scott’s upcoming film based Andy Weir’s bestselling novel The Martian looks fantastic, it seems that there’s some internet outrage over the trailer spoiling the entire film by looking as if it plays out the entire plot in three minutes. It doesn’t. I haven’t even read the book yet but have talked to two people who have and as they’re they types who don’t go online and babble about what’s not in that trailer, I’m told that there’s a good deal you don’t see. Which makes perfect sense, mind you. Yes, movie trailers tend to be a bit too dumbed down in many cases and yes, there are films where you see pretty much everything you need to well before it hits theaters.

The “problem” with The Martian trailer is all that pent up anger about other film’s spoiler packed teases seems to have spilled over at just the wrong time. The easy way to avoid ANY spoilers to films you may be interested in is not to watch them, period. Of course, if you want NO spoilers at all, don’t even read the book the film is based on and go in cold as Mars after sunset. I bet you’ll enjoy the hell out of that film and want to go buy the book after you leave the theater. Also, stay OFF message boards and other sites where people waste time opining away based on their lack of information, unwillingness to learn any new information and tendency to argue to the death the most ill-informed and idiotic points easily quashed by actual facts. Your sanity will thank you kindly and you’ll be able to go about your day with less stress.

Case closed and you’re welcome.

Archive.org Adds 2300+ MS-DOS Games: So Much For Productivity (Again!)…

Archive MS-DOSOh, good gravy. If the Internet Arcade wasn’t a bad enough way to lose too many hours, Archive.org has just killed off the chances some of you will ever see the light of day ever again. Once again, you can blame Jason Scott and a bunch of other people with too much time on their hands who have very wisely decided to keep videogame history alive and strong for the masses.

All you need to do is point your browser here and hope you aren’t swept away for too long trying out a bunch of classic MS-DOS games. While most are emulated in your browser, you can download some titles and run them on your PC using a decent DOS emulator such as DOSBOX or FreeDOS. I’ll “warn” you in advance that many of these game are really awesome and you may find yourself neglecting basic needs. I’d write more, but a bunch of oldies are calling me to come spend some time with them…

January’s PS Plus Lineup (Provided PSN Is Working!)


 

Poor Sony has been through the wringer this year. Between “hackers” hitting a few of the company’s entertainment divisions and among other things, knocking PSN offline for a bit over the last holiday weekend and a truly crazy class action lawsuit allowed to proceed, all of 2014’s successes seem so very far in the past. Nevertheless, PlayStation Plus subscribers will still be getting a bunch of free games as usual. January’s list of freebies is a nice one indeed, but at this point, it’s all up to whether or not PSN will be running properly so gamers can actually get all of that content. The privileges of membership, indeed…

The (Welcome and Hopeful) Silence of the Spams…


 

Bleh. I’m trying to wind this year down on an interesting note, but my mind is elsewhere. Too much home improvement stuff, some new ventures creeping into my schedule, perhaps a business thing popping up in a weird place and so forth and so on. Meanwhile, the internet has ticked me off royally this year on a few fronts to the point I almost kicked myself off a few social sites. I hate predictions and forecasting, but I kind of feel that 2015 will be the year people want their privacy back. Nearly everywhere you look or dink around online, you’re tracked, hacked and cracked over the head continually by folks good, bad and ugly. That has to be dealt with not by so-called “security” services or outside elements telling you they’re “taking care” of the problems. It has to be dealt with by people wisely retreating from spilling all their beans to the world thinking it’s okay because a site says it’s “secure” or “values” your safety at the end of the day. I’d bet a penny that most of them don’t because they can make bad news into good and gain users from it when all is said and done by tossing stuff into the spin cycle.

Eh, I suppose being cranky like this has its merits. But I want to end this year on a high note. No, not THAT kind of high, you sillies. Just a little rest and popping up to see the sun rise on that new year before zipping out a few posts to welcome in 2015. Back in a bit…

Final Fantasy VII on PS4: Calling Out For a Troll Free Number…


 

Yikes. You know, there’s a very good reason I don’t follow and post every sliver of game news, nor do I care about some off the “news” that stirs certain areas of the internet up into a frenzy. At the PlayStation Experience in Las Vegas last weekend, one of the “big” announcements was the legendary JRPG Final Fantasy VII coming to the PlayStation 4 in 2015. At the time of its release back in 1997, it was not only a system seller for Sony’s original PlayStation, but one that bought millions of new players into CD-based gaming on a console, as previous games in the series has only appeared on cartridge-based systems. There was a PC version released back in 1998, but other than a recent re-release for modern PC’s, some excellent and jaw-dropping fan-made modifications and a beautiful remake of the game’s opening movie as an early demonstration of the PlayStation 3’s power, Square Enix has pretty much moved on from the very idea of a proper remake of this classic… Continue reading

Blackhat Trailer: Time For Paranoid Mann to Make An Appearance…


 
Just what we needed, yet another reason to hate computers, the internet and hell, anything tech-like that you push a button on that does something useful. Well, it’s Michael Mann behind the camera, so that means the film will be dense and interesting for sure. My problem is Hollywood blows the hacking thing badly every time they try, no matter who makes a movie or TV show. Hell, if computers all made those funky noises like they do in these films and shows when something weird is going on, we’d all know when someone was poking around in our private stuff. Anyway, Blackhat is out in February, provided the world doesn’t end thanks to evil hackers in some unnamed country taking down the internet and stealing all your money so you can’t afford the cost of a movie ticket. Yaaaaah! Stupid internet.

The Internet Arcade: Your Monday (and Every Other Day) Just Got A LOT Less Productive…

Internet Arcade (Partial) 

Holy Cats. And here I thought archive.org was a disorganized mess of free movies and music files of assorted quality plus the home the not so perfect Wayback Machine where one can dig up archives for old websites no longer online. Well, the Archive’s Jason Scott has compiled over 1000 classic arcade games running on the MAME/MESS/JMESS emulators (which were cooked up by many other creative folks) and you can lose a week playing as many as you can for FREE.

The catch? Well, you’ll need the latest version of your current browser, meaning you’ll be online when you’re supposed to be working hard on those spreadsheets or whatever. However, be warned that Firefox works the best over anything else, meaning you Chrome and Safari users may have issues with running this perfectly. So, yeah… so much for getting to do important stuff like walking the dog, raising a family or stocking your zombie-proof shelter. Also, a controller is recommended, as keyboard controls are going to be funky on many titles. That’s being tweaked as we speak. Finally, the sounds and music will be a bit garbled on some games. Crank down the volume if you’re using headphones so your eardrums don’t crack when some high-pitched MIDI tune blasts them.

I’ve scanned that list of games and my eyeball popped out of my head a few times. If I had a controller with me here at the away office, I’d be playing some BLASTER, Q*Bert, Crystal Castles, Crazy Climber, The Three Stooges and way too many others to list here. This is a work in progress, so it’ll be fiddled with and fixed as time passes. I’m NOT going to go back to that page today at ALL or else I’ll get nothing done at all. YOU can boogie on over there yourself just to ogle all the awesome marquee art. Consider this your museum trip for this week. Yes, another excuse to call gaming educational is always a great reason…