Tagline time: Come for the boobs, stay for the rock hard dungeons! How does that grab you? Er, on second thought, don’t answer that.

As a longtime fan of turn-based rogue-like dungeon crawlers on consoles since 1990’s Dragon Crystal on the Sega Master System (which I still own), I knew Matrix Corporation’s sexy, supremely goofy and at times straight up hilarious Omega Labyrinth Life ($59.99) would be right up my alley. While I can heartily recommend the game to like-minded crawler fans, that Mature rating means puritan types and those easily rattled by sexual content and rampant fan service need not apply.  If you’re still interested and want to dive in head first to a new experience, you’re going to want to go on with an open mind to anime gals in saucy situations, a bit of gardening busywork in between dungeons and plenty of breast-related humor and optional mini-games definitely not for the kiddies.

Amusingly enough, the Switch version is content-wise, superior to the more censored PlayStation 4 version (which is still somewhat racy). There’s a plot here, but all you need to know is Hinata Akatsuki, new transfer student to Belles Fleurs Academy, finds herself in deep after she arrives and the school’s famed 100-year old flower garden  suddenly dies. Initially, the blame is laid on her shoulders, but she sets off into the dungeons that have appeared under the property to figure out what’s going on and to prove her innocence. Hinata won’t go it alone, though. The Academy’s most promising students plus a few tiny but large-boobed fairies all end up as her co-adventurers during the game and for a few dozen hours it’s quite a bouncy ride on a few fronts.

It’s a good thing that gals here grow bigger boobs as they level up, as that allows some forward protection from slipping on hardwood floors. Allegedly.

For all the breast-themed stuff, rampant innuendo and bawdy humor galore, this is a pretty lightweight (but enjoyable) game on the story front. That said, the dungeons can be brutally hard after the initial tutorial maps. This is a great thing, as the random nature means every run past that point will deliver assorted challenges, monsters and items guaranteed to keep you on your toes. Leveling up increases your selected party members cup sizes (up to a Z-cup!), which go back to normal once a dungeon is cleared. Dying in a dungeon means you lose all your currently collected items unless you take out a bit of costly insurance on gear you’d like to re-buy once you’re above ground. There’s a wealth of stuff to discover and uncover (ahem), but we’ll put that ball in your court and let you have at it as you please.

Each of the gals has a few skills that can be trained via a mini-game that involves a fair bit of touchscreen rubbing (or cursor driven action- use the touchscreen for better results) that’s optional after the first attempt. There are also those Ambiguity crystals you’ll discover in dungeons that require a bit of warming up in order to be identified (yes, between a character’s breasts), loads of optional collectible visual goodies to buy if you like, and plenty of Nectar you’ll find in the not-so darnedest locations (it’s al over the place – you’re practically tripping over it on the Academy grounds). Par for the rogue-like course, expect traps galore (hurtful and helpful) as well as plenty of cool item drops from weapons, spell books, potions, underwear and more.

Dungeons are timed affairs in that your lead party member will need to manage hunger (pack some food, please) and HP (potions or magic items help), but also take care not to stay on a floor for too long. Enemies do regenerate frequently enough that you can level up quickly (a good thing). But spend too much time on a floor and you’re in for trouble. After three warnings about a warm wind blowing, a super tough monster will appear and come for you with intent on making your party its next meal. Early on, you’ll learn to make quick work of your dungeon diving skills. But as the maps get more complex and harder monsters start appearing, chances of that too-close encounter jump geometrically. (cue bouncy boob sound effect).

The gardening part is interesting and (heh) dirt simple to tackle. Take the seeds you’ll find in dungeons or have otherwise found or purchased, plant them, water them and go about your business. Every few game hours, they’ll bloom and you can reap the rewards in a few forms. Everything gathered can be used for something as you’ll discover as you play. It’s no Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley, but it works well enough as a game mechanic. Once a day there are also nighttime sequences where you can spy on the student(s) of your choice, but it’s less of a totally naughty thing and more the girls gabbing about food, getting flirty and generally musing about certain events from different perspectives.

Isn’t that what nearly everyone who wears two different colored contacts says?  I know I’ve heard that line from a few people over the years…

Visually, the game’s simpler chibi style for the dungeons and academy maps works well enough with the more detailed art that makes up the character portraits. Those SD assets give the game the look of a higher resolution PlayStation 2 or Vita game (the original Omega Labyrinth got a Vita release in Japan in 2015). If you choose to get all poky with the portraits, you can use the touchscreen or call up a handy cursor for some amusement at the boob physics. Good for a few chuckles, don’t go do this in real life because it’ll get you a well-deserved poke in the eye or bonk on the head. The music in fine overall, as are the voice actors. I started the game in Japanese, but switched to the English dub just to understand all the jokes as well as get a chuckle at imagining the assorted talent going for the gold with some of those line readings. Everyone here deserves some sort of award in my opinion.

There’s a load more content here that you can er, shake a stick at, so I’m going to recommend this to those who can handle the content. Granted, if you’re playing this on a Switch, I’d suggest you not go handheld in public unless you want to explain why you’re furiously tapping on that touch screen with that look of intent on your face. Hey, you do you, friend. I won’t judge other than to say you’ll probably enjoy this a good deal more at home in docked mode or handheld if someone needs to use the TV. Of course, there are cheaper alternatives on both Switch and PS4 if you just want a decent dungeon crawler. That said, this is one of those games that will likely find its fan base over time as opposed to right out of the gate as players go from peeping over the fence to just accepting this sort of thing as a sub-genre that needs to exist

Grin and bear it. Or bare it, as the case may be.

Score: B (80%)

-GW

Review code provided by D3 Publisher