Yes, Rasputin Celebrates Hump Day HIS Way

Posted on April 15, 2015 by geelw

I keep meaning to review Don Sharp’s 1966 flick Rasputin, The Mad Monk one of these days for the site or perhaps a blogathon or something. But I also keep forgetting to track down a personal copy so I can watch it whenever I need a good laugh. Waiting for TCM to show it again sometimes pays off in the long run because there’s a decent enough chance they’ll also show something suitably loopy.

This is one of those films that defies proper categorization because it’s kind of all over the map in terms of tone. It’s a biopic, a horror film of sorts, a gold mine of unintentional comic relief and of course, a showpiece for the great Christopher Lee. Yeah, I’d normally have done this up already (and most likely for The Great Villain Blogathon 2015). But it’s been busy as hell here what with the roof being repaired (again!), more work going to happen in the apartment (STRESS!) and some other stuff that’s keeping my productivity lower than usual.

That said, I’ll give ol’ Raspy a two word review for those of you curious types who need to know: SEE IT. You’ll very likely laugh yourself extremely silly and get your cringe on as well because the film can be a bit creepy on a few fronts.

Archie vs. Predator? Okay, I’ll Bite.

Posted on March 17, 2015 by geelw

Ha. Oddball legal issues with one of its former employees a few years back aside, Archie Comics is clearly having a great time cooking up all sorts of alternate universes for its characters to mess around in. The latest and possibly greatest thing coming down the pike is this collaboration with Dark Horse Comics, Archie vs. Predator. Yeah, it’s on the way to a comic shop near you soon (as in April 15 at a comic shop near you). Here’s the rundown on what to expect in this four issue mini-series:

HE’S IN RIVERDALE WITH A FEW DAYS TO KILL!

Archie vs. Predator #1 (of 4)

Alex de Campi (W), Fernando Ruiz (P/Cover), Rich Koslowski (I), Jason Millet (C), Eric Powell (Variant cover), and Francesco Francavilla (Variant cover)

On sale April 15

FC, 32 pages

$3.99

Miniseries

America’s favorite teen meets the galaxy’s fiercest hunter! Archie and friends hit Costa Rica for Spring Break, where party games and beach games are soon replaced by the Most Dangerous Game! What mysterious attraction does the gang hold for the trophy-collecting Predator, and will the kids even realize they’re in danger before it claims them all?

The wildest Archie crossover ever (and that’s saying something)!
From Alex de Campi (Grindhouse, My Little Pony)
Variant covers by Eric Powell (The Goon) and Francesco Francavilla (Afterlife with Archie)!

If you want more laughs than you can shake a stick with a head on, check out the variant covers and other fun (and feel free to pre-order the book if you’re rolling off your chair laughing) here.

Poltergeist Trailer: Ghosts in the Shell of the Pedigree of Diminishing Returns

Posted on February 6, 2015 by geelw

Okay, the only reason I’m giving this remake the time of day is because I like Sam Rockwell in anything he’s done. That said, I’m not sure Poltergeist needed a remake at all, given the original still holds up to a good extent as a classic horror film. Granted, with Sam Raimi producing and Gil Kenan (Monster House, City of Ember) behind the lens, this remake is bound to do a few really interesting things with the concept. At least we know there will be plenty of CG effects, some of which look like practical ones.

The main problem I see with the new film is what happens afterward. I’m gathering this is more a reboot that pretends the original film never existed as opposed to a remake that hints at the old film. Opinion time: the other films in the original series weren’t all that good and the TV series went way off into weird-land (although it did have and has a rather loyal fan base). If this does well at the box office (and it should), expect the inevitable sequel train to roll onwards. If there are sequels, I’d bet you a nickel that Rockwell won’t come back for seconds and has to be replaced by a new actor. Unless he’s needing a new house, boat or train (or all three) and can be easily nabbed to return for a bigger paycheck, of course. Of course, I can see Fox deciding to take this ghost train on the road and greenlight a sequel or sequels that follow other angry ghosts across America trying to get the point across that you don’t build your new housing on top of their old dead heads.

Eh, we’ll see what’s what soon enough. Color me tentatively intrigued for now.

With Firm Resolve, A New Year’s Rhyme Exercise…

Posted on January 1, 2015 by geelw

(Thanks, SPARTEN2!)

Well, this 2015 greeting is not so hot, but that’s what happens when you stay up too long with the TV on. You need a resolution because you hate making them and your Procrastinator’s Club card has yet to arrive (don’t worry, they’ll get to you eventually)? Feel free to divine one from that wretched text below or get the hint on what you need to take care of if it’s a negative habit. And stick to it this year so I don’t need to do this again!

Happy New Year!
Hippie No Hair!
Boozy No Beer!
Scaredy No Fear!
Lazy Kick Rear!
Cloudy Get Clear!
Fishy Off Pier!
Whiny No Tear!
Yakky No Smear!
Dummy Get Seer!
Opaque Not Sheer!
Gloomy Get Cheer!
Cranky Get Jeer!
Snarky No Sneer!
Worldly Get Sphere!

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. Actually, there were more, but I wanted to stick to one syllable words and also wanted some of you out there to chime in with your own suggestions. As mother says, “knock yourselves out!”

Go Commando With Hot Toys’ John Matrix Figure!

Posted on December 29, 2014 by geelw

Here’s a surefire way to blast 2014 into pieces and welcome in 2015 with a bang thanks to Sideshow Collectibles and Hot Toys. Yeah, you know you were grinning as soon as you saw that Arnold as John Matrix figure glaring back at you. Of course, as this is a Hot Toys piece, you know for the money you’re spending, you’ll be getting something that will stand out in your collection.

I saw Commando back in 1985 and laughed myself silly because the film is ridiculous and stuffed with quotable quips. It’s also amusingly violent in a Warner Bros. cartoon gone haywire manner, particularly the final twenty or so minutes where Matrix wipes out a villa full of troops with weapons he’s brought with him and whatever he can find as he dumps his empty guns.

Okay, it’s not for all tastes, but it’s a cable staple these days and always good for a hearty chuckle when it’s needed. That said, I was hoping to see Vernon Wells‘ Bennett finally get a decent action figure made from this flick. I guess Hot Toys needs a call from the man himself at some point to make that happen. Hey, he’s got a cool website and all, so why not a few action figures to go with that?

Memo to Sony: make.believe You’ve Got Some Backbone.

Posted on December 19, 2014 by geelw

Hmmm. As stupid as this whole Sony hacking thing has been to try and avoid, now we’re at the stage where things get even weirder because it now has to be followed. Sony Pictures has decided to kill The Interview, pulling not only the film’s premiere this week, but the actual Christmas launch entirely. Of course, the company is being called out and called all sorts of names by other media companies. “Holy irony of ironies and if it were them, what would THEY do, Batman?” Answer: “Probably the same damn thing, old chum.” More on that in a second.

Anyway, things have gotten so wretched that even George R.R. Martin has chimed in with a LiveJournal post (wait, people STILL use LiveJournal?) chiding “Regal, AMC, and every other major theatre chain in the United States” along with Sony for caving hard over threats of potential violence and other protests had the film been screened anywhere in the U.S. of A. Good on you, George! Please don’t kill me off in a response, sir.

As for Sony, All I have to say is “Yikes!”... Continue reading →

THE FLY: Outbreak – IDW Invokes Cronenberg, So It Better Be Worthy…

Posted on December 17, 2014 by geelw

Hmmm. As a David Croneberg fan, I get the shaky eyebrow whenever someone uses his name to sell a project, particularly one linked to one of his better major studio horror films. That said, I’ll give IDW Publishing a bit of a break (wrist or ankle – see the film and you’ll get a chuckle from that, I hope) for its upcoming five-part miniseries THE FLY: Outbreak. While the press release isn’t giving much away in terms of the plot, if what’s below is done up correctly, it just may work for even the most jaded fan of the film. To wit:

Years ago, a scientist had a horrific accident when he tried to use his newly invented teleportation device and became a human/fly hybrid. Now his almost-human son continues to search for a cure for the mutated genes. But a breakthrough turns into a breakout, and anyone exposed risks turning into a monster as well…

Now, to me, that sounds like a mix of 1959’s Return of the Fly and the not at all needed 1989 sequel to Cronenberg’s film, The Fly II, but in what’s looking to be more the capable hands of writer Brandon Seifert (Hellraiser, Witch Doctor) and artist menton3 (Silent Hill, Monocyte).

Of course, this got me wondering if Cronenberg’s idea for a “sequel” that’s been in limbo for a few years (studio politics at work again, whee!) is finally going to see the light of day and the green light that means he can shoot the damn thing. I didn’t even think that a proper sequel or remake was even possible, but I trust Cronenberg to always shake things up and deliver the unexpected. But I guess let’s have this IDW book hit the stands and see how it sells first before buzzing about anything else that lands on movie screens a few years down the pike…

Help GOG.com Stress Test Their Galaxy Beta Servers and Get Some FREE Stress to Test You In Return!

Posted on October 15, 2014 by geelw

Here’s a no-brainer if you’ve time, a nice PC gaming rig (or an older one that can run fast-paced games from 14 years ago with no trouble), like being slightly terrified and having a few adrenaline rushes hit you within the space of a few hours. Help gog.com in their Galaxy beta test program and you’ll get Aliens vs. Predator Classic 2000 for FREE. Yup. Sign up and wait for that email that lets you into the beta and your game key. DRM-free, of course. While dated on the visual front, this is a pretty intense shooter that mixes the two franchises up pretty well and makes for some fine jump out of your seat multiplayer action. There’s a solo play Skirmish mode as well, but the folks at gog.com really want to see how many people their Galaxy can hold.

NowPlaying: Alien Isolation (Or: Let’s See How Long I Can Last)…

Posted on October 7, 2014 by geelw

So, yeah – here we go. let’s see now: phone off the hook? Check. Clean underwear at the ready? Check. Ear out for UPS/Fed Ex in case I get some surprise packages from a PR contact (and/or my SUPER late Think Geek order that’s almost a month old, grrrr?): Check! I think I should eat something too, but I’ll pop into the kitchen while the game is installing and make something quick. Did someone say cheese pierogi with sauteed onions? I think that’s what my stomach was screaming, so that will get taken care of (thank you, stomach!). I think I have some (*ding!*) Gold’s Horseradish left. Hmmm… let me check… (*ding!*) Yep, with beets, at that. Okay, I’m set for the day.

Oh, that flower? It’s there because it’ll probably be the nicest thing I see all day. Back in a bit – maybe later this afternoon or evening with some sort of “I’m too %#$^@! scared to move” update. Maybe.

Alien Isolation Launch Trailer: At Home, Everyone Will Hear You Scream…

Posted on October 6, 2014 by geelw

It’s almost here and yours truly will be popping up at a certain retailer bright and early to snap up my copy and trot back home so I can dive in feet first and come up for air with knuckles and hair all white from fear. Yay, fear! Hmmmm. I should e dreading this experience a bit more because I’ve not been really freaked out by any horror game in a while.

On the other hand, I’m knowing I’m going to enjoying seeing what The Creative Assembly has cooked up for people like me who’ve been following this from the shadows who want to go in cold and not have spoilers hitting us on the head because we hung out on the right message boards and want our “fun” spoiled. Of course, I’m less expecting this to be “fun” and more expecting it to be “Holy $#!+, I can’t take another step because I’m TOO damn scared, but that damn Alien is somewhere in the room, Gyaaaaaah!”…

Or something like that. (sings) The sun will come out, tomorrow… Hmmmm. I wonder if they sell cork panels at the K-Mart across from the game shop? I may need a bunch to line the living room with so my neighbors don’t keep calling the cops on me. “GYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”