New Terminator Genisys Trailer: Blasts From The Past And Future Get The Internet Somewhat Nuts


 

What’s been interesting about these Terminator Genisys trailers is how the internet whiners has reacted to the reboot without realizing that the new film is playing them like violins. The time-bending going on here and all the plot twists see as spoilers might not even be the big things the movie is bringing to the table. Me, I like the idea of taking the first two films and remixing them so Sarah Connor knows what’s coming and prepares for it before finding out things aren’t as she planned for.

I’m really curious to find out what type of Terminator John has turned out to be as well as seeing if the process can be reversed (remember, we’re dealing with time travel and its many possible ripples) by the time those end credits roll. That and hell, it’ll be fun hearing whatever goofball quips Arnold comes up with as the film progresses. It looks as if Emilia Clarke has got some of his better quotes from the first two films down pat. Eh, we’ll see (as usual). I don’t expect him to survive this flick either, but I have the feeling that even if he does… he’ll be BACK. Well, at least for one more go-around.

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Go Commando With Hot Toys’ John Matrix Figure!

Commando John MatrixHere’s a surefire way to blast 2014 into pieces and welcome in 2015 with a bang thanks to Sideshow Collectibles and Hot Toys. Yeah, you know you were grinning as soon as you saw that Arnold as John Matrix figure glaring back at you. Of course, as this is a Hot Toys piece, you know for the money you’re spending, you’ll be getting something that will stand out in your collection.

I saw Commando back in 1985 and laughed myself silly because the film is ridiculous and stuffed with quotable quips. It’s also amusingly violent in a Warner Bros. cartoon gone haywire manner, particularly the final twenty or so minutes where Matrix wipes out a villa full of troops with weapons he’s brought with him and whatever he can find as he dumps his empty guns.

Okay, it’s not for all tastes, but it’s a cable staple these days and always good for a hearty chuckle when it’s needed. That said, I was hoping to see Vernon Wells‘ Bennett finally get a decent action figure made from this flick. I guess Hot Toys needs a call from the man himself at some point to make that happen. Hey, he’s got a cool website and all, so why not a few action figures to go with that?

Terminator: Genisys – Yeah, He’s BACK (Again)…

Terminator Genisys Banner

(Thanks, Arnold!) 

terminator_genisys_teaser_posterWell, I guess it’s as good a time as ever to note that when I first heard Arnold was doing another Terminator flick, I think I broke something laughing. Of course, we’re at the point in visual effects tech that the best and brightest can make anything or anyone real look like a CG effect and here’s living proof of that coming to a theater near you next year. Actually, the plot makes it sound like a reboot that’s burning the candle at both ends with the return of Kyle Reese, Sarah Conner and a few other elements from James Cameron’s original two flicks. Of course, the film should benefit from Alan Taylor‘s direction, as his Game of Thrones work is pretty strong.

Granted, other than more plastics and metals there’s not much of a difference between the gritty filth of Westeros and the gritty radioactive filth of the future setting here (and the gritty filthy present the characters will end up in). But if the film can capture all that made the first two Terminator movies so special, this one may do well outside the blockbuster-fed crowds that will rush out to see it when it finally opens next July.

On the other hand, if this flick slips up in any way, shape or form in the plot or tosses in too much for the modern “Wait, what just happened?” crowd who need stuff constantly explained to them, it may tank out after a month because word of mouth hit it harder than a T-1000 slapping Arnold with a sledgehammer. Balance is the key to success, I’m betting. And I’m also betting the home video version will pack in scenes that get left on the cutting room floor because that’s the trend these days. Anyway, that’s two formerly successful franchises making a comeback in 2015, so between this reboot/remake with a twist and Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, it’s the 1980’s all over again.

And yeah – that’s both a good thing and a not so good thing…


 

Terminator 2: Judgment Day “Dressing For Success”: Writers, Here’s How To Introduce Your Hero (#4 Of A Bunch)…

(thanks, cromptonog1!) 

This intro made and STILL makes me laugh a lot for a few reasons, chiefly the fact that James Cameron cheated himself a chance to make this a LOT funnier. How so? Well, he shortcuts Arnold into landing just EXACTLY where he needed to in order to deck himself out with spiffy leather togs (which is a great thing, don’t get me wrong). But ask yourself, folks… what would have happened if that formerly killer now nice-guy Terminator landed near a senior citizen’s home, a golf course, prison, or some other place where finding awesome clothing and a handy hot hog would have been next to impossible? That would have made for a definitely more amusing opening for sure, although yes, NO way as classic as this one is. Of course, if someone ever shows this post to Cameron, I’d bet I’m in for an earful and I’d sit there and take it, too. I think he’s got enough of a sense of humor to realize I’m just kidding around (heh).

And NO, kids… I didn’t forget Sarah Connor’s equally awesome introduction at all. I wanted to do her first, but couldn’t find a suitable clip on YouTube to use in the time I have today. I’ll get to her (and yes, other heroic ladies) as part of this series soon enough as I’d planned out to include ladies here from the get-go.

If Arnold Has A Crush On You, You’d Better Run For The Hills…

(Thanks, Arnold)!

Yikes. Well, at least he’s smashing stuff with that tank he owns for a good cause, so it’s not as if he’s gone completely nuts like the time he got me in a choppa to take me somewhere and left me there when he went to go get some cigars from the nearest corner store. Which just so happened to be 147 miles from that jungle hell I had to cut my way out of with a rusty machete. Of course, Arnold acts as if he’s forgotten all about it, but he knows I had to live on assorted insects, plants and half a Little Debbie cinnamon bun (yuk!) I had in my pocket. Anyway, check out the rest of the Let’s Crush videos HERE and get a little chuckle on a fine Friday afternoon, I say…

Sabotage Trailer #1: Deja Vu, But Arnold Wants Me To…

 
I know I ran this trailer for Sabotage sometime last year, but since Arnold posted it on his YouTube page, I have to run it here again or he’ll come here and punch a hole in the front door again. Actually, I wouldn’t mind that at all as he always pays for a new door afterwards. Hmmm… perhaps I can have him punch a hole in the bathroom wall near that pipe that’s now loose thanks to the idiots who installed that fish piss replacement shower head? Nah, Arnold wouldn’t fall for that at all. He’s too busy getting in other trouble to get out here anyway, I’d bet…

Man, It’s COLD Outside. Arnold? Do Your Thing…

 
Ah, thanks man! You’re always there when I need ya, pal… Wait, what? Did you say “LIFT” and not “LIVE”? Hey! You got one of the best damn lines you’re world famous for wrong, dude. Oh, wait… I get it. You’re doing yet ANOTHER charity event. Oh great, now instead of getting a rescue and a ride home in that choppa, I get to go allll the way out to Califoirnia just to see you ham it up for a good cause:

 
*Sigh* I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Arnold, you’re a total nut. But you’re kind of OK, warts and all. Now fly me home already. It may be a freezing hell in NYC, but at least we have no drought to deal with (er, yet)…

Arnold Is Still Horsing Around, But He’s Got Tanks-giving On His Plate…

Arnold_Product_2.0Hey Arnold! Next time you’re in public and doing something goofy, tell or yell to the people shooting at you with phones to TURN THE DAMN PHONE SIDEWAYS. These awful phone videos shot in tall form need to be squashed out of habit (despite the crappy way phone cameras are set up) and YOU, sir can be the vanguard for setting things straight. So, why am I even caring about this?

Well, Der Ah-nuld is doing something pretty darn cool with that tank he owns for charity and I think some of you might want to pony up ten bucks and see what happens. Me, I’m not a cigar smoker at all, but put me in a tank and I’ll be trying to drive it back to NYC with Arnold running after me and screaming like Conan falling down a flight of old dusty crypt stairs. Or perhaps he’d yell “Get to the choppa!!” to some assistants as he ran over to whatever other vehicle he had nearby to start the chase. Hmmm… I wonder who’s going to do the music for this little (and very short) movie I’m planning on should I win? Of course, I also wonder how I look in a modern orange jumpsuit or with prison stripes like some old cartoon? I’ll of course also wonder how much a good lawyer costs and so forth and so on, but if I can sell the movie rights to my unplanned escapade, I think I’ll be fine with that. They better NOT get some no-name chump to play me, that’s for sure…

HUMOR: Arnold Has His Own Tank. YOU Try Telling Him He’s A Hypocrite…

(thanks, GovSchwarzenegger!) 

Yeah, that’s your big advice from the big man today. I say you zip it and do what he says lest you want him to turn that turret around and point his big gun your way. You just got around to fixing that train hole in your wall from my earlier post, right? I thought so. And put those darn thumb tacks away, silly. Tanks don’t have tires you can pop like in some old cartoon. The only way to stop a tank from moving (other than blow it up) is to disable its treads, and for that you’ll need a sticky bomb. What, you don’t have a field manual handy there? Just clear out your sock drawer of orphans and go look under the sink for that old Composition B you stocked up on when you went to Costco last year and bought in bulk because it was 99 cents for 20 pounds and you thought it was some sort of all-purpose cleaner. Yeah, we’ll show Arnold a thing or three. Oh, you’ll want socks WITHOUT holes in the heels, as that would be a bit self-defeating (and how!)…

Sabotage Trailer: Nobody Gives Him (Another) Raw Deal (But Me)…

Ah, the Ah-nuld resurgence continues, I suppose. Yeah, this upcoming (April 2014) flick looks nice and gritty and it certainly has a pretty surprising cast in some respects (Mireille Enos as an action heroine?!). But I always start up my cable countdown clock when I see one of these trailers because it’ll be the usual two to three weeks at or near the top of the box-office charts before being bumped off by the next blockbuster or surprise indie hit, then three or four months later onto Blu-Ray and a few months after that it’s popping up as a surprise early premiere (hopefully on a cable channel I can access at home).

Annnnd of course, Arnold is now pissed off at me for this post, as I found out sooner than I’d liked (as in as I was typing):
 
Hey, Mister Angry Dude, you’ll live. TO quote Mister Freeze: “Chillllll…” Now get back to counting your money or something. You certainly don’t need my seal of approval at all. I’ll see your escapist flick soon enough (well, on my own schedule)…