Coffee Talk 2: Valhalla, Here I Come!

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Long story short: This stuff is quite good. Keep reading.

Coffee memory #162 (collect ’em all!):

“I like my coffee like I like my women… HOT!

I think it was about 1991 or ’92. Had I walked into that diner and sat down a minute earlier, I’d have very likely done a spit take with a mouthful of freshly poured ice cold water as soon as I heard that cheesy line. Fortunately, it happened just as I sat down next to the grinning woman at the end of the counter who said it, then turned to me and asked if I liked a good cup of coffee. I recall answering something along the lines of “Uh, sure?” as an exceptionally cheery waiter appeared on cue with a sunny “Hello, what can I get you, love?” I recall she had an accent that made her sound quite like Joan Greenwood, which made me almost forget what I wanted to order because I just wanted to sit there and listen to her recite the entire menu.

“The coffee’s good” the voice to my right noted, so I tipped my head in her direction and replied “I’ll have what she’s having…” which made both women laugh and a few customers to my left at the counter turn and look to see what the joke was. I didn’t turn around to check out the other tables behind me, but I’d have guess that some of them close enough also looked up for a hot second before going back to their breakfasts. I’m guessing the two ladies took that as a When Harry Met Sally reference, but it was mostly automatic on my part.

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Coffee Talk 1: The Daily Grind, I Guess

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Despite that name, no aliens were harmed in the making of this post.

 

I’m no coffee connoisseur, but I’ve certainly had my share of awful cups over the decades. Granted, I was never a badass brew-meister, but amusingly enough got my first gig making coffee at a law firm I worked at back in the early 80’s as a messenger/light legal clerk (or: a messenger who could pick up and deliver all sort of legal stuff from paperwork to banking related stuff). No one else in the small office could make a good pot of coffee, although there were two secretaries who did the basics with the office’s pricey Bunn automatic.

One day, one of the gals was out sick and the other kind of refused to make the coffee, so I figured “what the hell, it doesn’t look *too* hard”, only to discover one reason the guy running the firm wasn’t happy with the coffee was no one had EVER cleaned the darn machine. Ugh. I ended up hoofing it down to the nearest deli, buying a few cups of coffee there for the lawyer, rushing back and giving the Bunn and area around it a thorough scrubbing. At one point, the lawyer popped out of his office and saw what I was doing and was kind of floored that someone would go to all that trouble. Yes, he reimbursed me for the coffee I’d bought and told me that I was now responsible for getting that brewer brewing up his cuppa Joe. Pressure much?

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Coffee Crisis on Steam: A Guaranteed Caffeine Hit

Coffee Crisis logo

Before you ask, YES, they still make games for the Sega Genesis. Well, small indie studios do. MegaCat Studios, for example. They put out a fun and funky Sega Genesis game called Coffee Crisis that got enough notice as a cartridge game that it was eventually ported to PC and can now be yours on Steam for less than the price of a can of coffee, or a few small coffees if you need a gauge of some sort.

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As for what the game is about, go pour yourself a cuppa joe (I’ll wait) and click, then read what’s below the jump.

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Random Art: Joe? Two? Well, Hell Yeah!

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Hey! It’s National Coffee Day or whatever it’s called. If you imbibe that devilish brew, go find a place that’s giving away a cup and get yours. I settled for being lazy and not making mine this morning just so I could hoof it down to Dunkin’and see what was what. Amusingly enough, despite the sign on the door and eager but surprisingly small crowd in the spot I stepped into, a few people on the line knew nothing about that freebie and were paying for their coffee, some even after the busy staff sort of pointed out that they could have had a freebie. Ah well.

Anyway, there was one guy in that shop who was on his tablet noting that he was going to walk to a few different Dunkin’s in the area (there are three or four within about a twenty or so minute walk) and get a free cuppa Joe at each stop. Well, that’s nice that he’s not going to be sleeping tonight, I guess. Still, it’s a somewhat good idea if you have nothing else to do and want a big ass buzz that will keep you wide-eyed and jittering into the wee hours. Um, here’s a tree to ogle that incomplete. No reason for it being here other than I’m too busy to dig up a stock image of a cup of coffee.

Yeah, I could have snapped a pic of my cup and posted it instead. But maybe I’ll do that later. I think I need a second cup of coffee now…

Enough of This Stupid Sunday. Let’s Go Dancing!

(Thanks, Swudanst Harlow!)
 

Sure, why not? A little freshly made bathtub gin (wooo!), maybe a few attempts to do the Charleston without looking too dumb flailing around, maybe a burger later at a cheap diner? Yeah, I could go for some of that action tonight. Who’s with me? (Checks wallet, moths flit out)… Er, you’d be buying this time because I’ve just blown all my cash on lighting up the kitchen floor like an airline runway. Hey, how about this? Just come on over with a pound of ground and I’ll make the burgers. Oh, and bring some buns with you as well. I’ll toast them up for those patties nice and warm. I’ve got an onion left and the old cast iron pan got a good seasoning on it earlier this week, so those burgers will be extra tasty. What, you want to being those big portabella you get from the farmer’s market instead? Sure, fine – that’s probably even better and healthier. So, sure, why not?

I’ll be here and up a bit late, thanks to needing to make those signs I posted for the plasterer a bit bigger. You know, just in case they send a new guy to do the plaster job who’s got worse eyesight than the last two. Better safe than sorry, right? Now, hurry up and get on over here – I’m getting hungry and I just pressed a pair of pants! Okay, I was sitting on them for the last hour, but same result once I put them on and stand up. Oh, I have mustard and ketchup too. I might need some more coffee, though. It seems to magically disappears around here like someone’s eating it right out of the can. I hope it not a mouse or anything like that. I don’t need a hopped up rodent around here jazzed on java keeping me up all night…

(Mystery Rodent): Wooooo!

I’m Not Quite Awake Yet…

(Thanks, TV Toy Memories!) 

Yeah, yeah. Typos fix-ed. Hey, I woke up at 4:44 this morning for some reason and couldn’t get back to sleep. I had a small cup of coffee at around 6:57am and after dinking around bumping into stuff, I finally got out of the house to take care of some minor shopping before heading out to try and get some work done. I need a better coffeemaker and a stronger brew methinks. My current setup just isn’t doing it anymore. Well, that’s my holiday gift to myself, I suppose. I’ve tried those single cup “brewers” and it’s like drinking hot water with a drop of brown ink in it. Especially if one prefers a LARGE cup of coffee. Anyway, let me stop here before I need to run out and buy a cup from that place that shall remain nameless that sells cheap coffee (and overpriced fast food that’s bad for you) but they won’t let you put in your own milk and sugar for some maddening, bizarre reason. What, they think they’re Apple selling tech that they’ll never let you touch when you need to change the damn battery? Bleh. I’m a self-made man and a stable adult, you guys. I can do loads of stuff on my own, including failing miserably at anything I want to.

Trend Setters Morphing Dark Knight Mugs: You’ll Go Batty For Your Favorite Hot Beverage…

ALL 8 MUG IMAGES 
Let’s see now, eight different Bat-mugs mean you can buy one for each day and have one left over for when company drops by or as a gift. Or you might know seven other people who need an extra licensed lift with that morning mug of hot steaming whatever. Each heat transforming mug is black until 11 ounces of something hot enough lands inside of it and each retails for $18.99 over at the Film Cells website. There’s a ton of other cool licensed goodies there from other pop culture classics from then and now, but you’re probably already poring over that site as we speak with your wallet whining away…

Kind Of A Lazy Sunday, But Not Exactly…

(thanks Josh Landeros!) 

HA! Fooled you, didn’t I? You though I’d not post a darn thing today, hmmmm? Well, I was busy tinkering with some stuff, so there. Anyway, yeah – the backlog continues, but I’m winding up some fun stuff and have a few surprises on the way in the coming weeks. Going to give away some reading material soon, there’s a guest writer on the back burner popping up in a few weeks and between then, I’m just going to be cackling like a madman and rubbing my hands together because one silly plan I thought up just may work out FINE. Maybe. Wear a helmet just in case stuff explodes in my face again is all I’m saying, kids. Okay, that’s it for now. Or perhaps not if I can complete this review I started, lost and am reconstructing in another window as we speak. Maybe it’ll go up tomorrow morning, as I need to add a lot of screenshots? We’ll see… we’ll see.

Sleepy Kong gotta go get him a cuppa joe. Lateness of the hour aside, it’s been a stupidly busy but backwards day here. Bye!

Come to the Dark Side… I Hear The Coffee’s Pretty Damn Good…

Dark Side RoastAnd even if it tastes awful, you won’t be complaining to the company head for any reason, guaranteed. “I find your lack of taste buds… disturbing.” Of course, if the Force is strong in this one, it’ll be powerful enough to keep you up through multiple work shifts as an underpaid Imperial Stormtrooper with ONLY a few side effects. For example, your aim with a blaster will always be a bit off (especially when in large groups), you’ll be more susceptible to Light Force powers (“These aren’t the droids we’re looking for, duuuuhhhhh…”) and in some cases, people may even accuse you of being a little short for a stormtrooper.

Hmmm. I haven’t tried this brew myself yet, but I’m definitely intrigued by that package for some strange reason. If you’re also a weak-minded fool with somewhat of a caffeine habit. Let the Force guide your mouse hand as if it’s on an Ouija board over to Think Geek where you can score a bag of Dark Side Roast for a mere $14.99. And if you can’t make coffee to save your life… well, there are positions open for Imperial spies who can dress up as Rebel Alliance secretaries and try to cause havoc from the inside. If you can’t kill them with kindness.. you may as well let your lousy coffee do the job in a lot less time, correct?

Welcome to Brain Battle MCMXI (The Struggle Continues!) Featuring Kirk & Spock…

I have the most raging headache right now, but type away I must. Nothing particular brought it on, just General Stress, Major Pain and trying to wean myself off coffee (yeah, I know, I know…) on a Monday. Woo. Not a good idea, but I’ll try anything once (allegedly). Hmmm. Maybe the trip to the market to buy stuff to make soup with will ease my pain. If not… “Now, the Lerpa!” Ouch. Someone change the channel, please? I like Star Trek a lot… but not IN my head and definitely not “Amok Time” in my head. I’ve had that fight music blasting between my ears most of the day already!

And now you do as well. Either that or you’ll hear chimes all night from those shaky bells in that first video… ouch. Off to locate an aspirin.