Curses ‘N Chaos: Time For The Monster Mash, Retro Style!

Posted on July 7, 2015 by geelw

Until today I hadn’t heard of Montreal-based indie developer Tribute Games or Curses ‘N Chaos (headed to the PS4, PS3 and PS Vita soon). Thanks to my inbox poking me in the eye with the game’s latest trailer above (Ow.), I’m now all over this one like duck feathers on a duck. Here’s a synopsis for you now that I have you in my clutches:

SMASH MONSTERS, ESCAPE DEATH!

CURSED! When brawny bounty hunters Leo and Lea are cursed by Algarr the Wizard King, they’re swarmed by all manners of creatures and monsters! Alchemist Allison knows one way to get rid of the curse: The Elixir of Life! But the only way to get the Elixir’s ingredients? SMASH ALL THE MONSTERS!

Hey, look! I found another cool trailer (It followed me home, Ma! Can I keep it?):

As you can see from the those two nice slices of game footage, the game screams NOSTALGIA in big blocky neon letters and everything from the lovely and well animated pixel art to the sound effects just plain WORK. The game is an arcade style scrolling brawler with plenty of cute but deadly monsters to kill and what looks like some challenging boss fights. Players can expect some classic couch co-op action along with online play for those of you who want to hop on the internet and make a few new annoying friends you’ll never meet in real life. Or you can avoid getting an elbow to the head from that “friend” who likes to distract you when he or she pops over for a visit and any game you play turns into an actual fight for survival.

Anyway, some gamers are tired of these bit-crazy retro games, but those are more than likely gamers who think “good graphics” circa whatever will blow up their PC’s 3D cards make a game worth buying. Foo to that. Curses ‘N Chaos will probably make some of those folks bust a controller over their collective kneecap because it’ll be too tricky for them to complete. Or perhaps some small amount of respect should be given to indie developers like Tribute that make games that keep the flames from the past burning and unforgotten? That’s a big, fat “Yep” from me. More on this one in a bit.

Tales of Zestiria Trailer: Your October Surprise (Plus Tales Tax)

Posted on July 3, 2015 by geelw

Bandai Namco Games is rolling out not one, but two Tales games between this year and next, one new and one old but new for PC gamers who may be interested in one of the earlier entries in the long-running franchise. Tales of Zestiria is coming to PS3, PS4 and PC on October 20, 2015. PC Gamers who hop on board the Steam pre-order train will have the opportunity to nab the upcoming HD port of Tales of Symphonia for FREE as a bonus tier item. This great deal may not convince some who only collect physical media to grab the game, but for those of you PS4 owners looking for a ton of swag, there’s as nice Collector’s Edition packed with the following:

TALES OF ZESTIRIA game for the PlayStation 4 system

Serialized premium box packaging

Exclusive SteelBook case

Chibi Kyun Chara figure set

DLC pack

TALES OF ZESTIRIA hardcover art book

Three TALES OF ZESTIRIA pixel-styled character key chains

TALES OF ZESTIRIA 40 minute “Dawn of the Shepherd” OVA anime Blu-ray disc

That’s a nice chunk of shelf space, I bet. I’ll post some pics of the set once I’m at a place with a better connection speed. Or you can just check out all the info on the official Tales Blog.

Divide By Sheep: It’s The New Math, Kids!

Posted on July 2, 2015 by geelw

(thanks, tinyBuildGAMES!)

If they taught math this way back when I was in grade school I’d bet a heck of a lot of kids would probably be a lot smarter. And probably vegetarian or vegan not to mention not afraid of death at all. Anyway, great and prolific indie developer tinyBuildGAMES does it again with another hilarious slice of pure fun with a twist. Divide By Sheep is a math puzzle game that combines Death, loneliness, sacrifice and too cute to chop up sheep in a game where every move counts. Okay, it’s nowhere as grim as that last sentence sounds at all although a sense of humor is going to be needed in order to get full enjoyment from this one.

If you feel like counting sheep now and getting Death some new wooly pals to play chess with, the game is available on Steam and iOS NOW. Even better (well, if you’re an iOS user), you can get tinyBuild’s Spoiler Alert for FREE and Fearless Fantasy for a mere 99 cents. Those are both hard to pass up deals, I’d say.

Guild of Dungeoneering: Make Your Doom, One Room At A Time

Posted on June 26, 2015 by geelw

Okay. I know I’ve been busy and all stressed out over a bunch of stuff lately but just how did I miss out on Guild of Dungeoneering, indie developer Gambrinous’ upcoming digital-only RPG creation kit/card battle game/pure genius “Shut up and BUY me!” game. Well, it’s not out YET, mind you. But just look at that trailer above and tell me you’re not suffering from shock and “D’aaaw!” at those visuals and yep, that music also gets me grinning way too much. Even in the earlier trailer below the game exudes cuteness and while being simple visually, rocks its looks better than some bigger buck in cost retro games do.

As a former graph paper gamer (of questionable talent) myself, I’m all over this one like a cheap meal because it’s so nicely done, has LOW system requirements (yes!) and looks like an instant genre classic. What looks like endless replay value should keep core RPG fans hooked in while those new to this old school should also have a total blast. Who needs Unreal 4 when you can have unreal FUN with something so damn charming to look at and pleasant to listen to? Anyway, the game is available for pre-order on gog.com, Steam, The Humble Store and a few other places you might be buying your digital games from already.

“Shall we ~~play~~ make a game?”

Sure, why not. July 14, 2015 is when this one drops. So make sure you’re all aboard with the program. You wouldn’t want to get “accidentally” shanked by a pissed off penciled Goblin, Skelton or Fire Demon now, would you?

No, I thought not. Get ye to the pre-order page of your choice, then.

@E3, Sometimes The Treehouse Hides All The Cool Stuff

Posted on June 20, 2015 by geelw

If you had the time and bandwidth this week you could have spend the better part of a few days watching Nintendo employees play a bunch of upcoming games at E3 that were part of their big puppet show press event. You also could have gotten to see at least one game not part of that family-friendly briefing that NEEDED to be given some mention outside the Treehouse Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water is coming this year, but you’d never know this if you only watched the main event. Anyway, the trailer is above and some 25 minutes of gameplay from the Treehouse trio is below. Listen for the warnings about the game’s content and prepare to chuckle a bit as the gameplay is a bit over-described yet is still unsettling. “Wetness Gauge” and all the uses of the word “creepy” made me crack up, but the game looks nice and scary where it counts and it’s absolutely not for the kids.

Review: High Strangeness (Wii U)

Posted on June 10, 2015 by geelw

Platform: Wii U (also on PC)
Developer: Barnyard Intelligence Games/Crystal Labs
Publisher: Midnight City/Majesco
# of Players: 1
ESRB Rating: T (Teen)
Official Site
Score: B+ (85%)

While “short” by whatever “today’s standards” for game length is, High Strangeness is actually about as long as many of the 8 and 16-bit games it’s inspired by. A few too many gamers today are a wee bit spoiled by the still baffling comparison of game length somehow equaling overall quality so it’s great to play a new “retro” game that doesn’t wear you down with too many gimmicks before the ride is over. What’s here is a pretty cool throwback that bridges the game between the two eras with a “12-bit” approach that allows players to travel back and forth between two distinct visual styles. There’s also a mix of sci-fi and light horror vibes going on here with creepy-looking enemies, a big mystery and even a sentient cat to keep you dialed in from start to finish.

Continue reading →

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: Three’s Company For The Long Haul

Posted on May 23, 2015 by geelw

So. The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III is out and yes, you SHOULD buy and play it if you like action/RPG’s with a sense of humor (and optional gore), loads of random loot drops and probably closure as NeoCore Games finishes up its trilogy. That said… oh, for the days of the retail review disc arriving in the mail! While 20GB may not seem like a huge file to download in this era of “everyone” having a high speed connection, the best I can do around here is roughly 11 to 36 mbps. And that’s WITH connections dropping out from time to time adding more time to the download. 11 hours to download a game (which would be closer to 5 or 6 if the speed is consistent and there aren’t any connection drops) is way too long for me and while I’m not impatient, I have no idea how people put up with this sort of thing with larger game files.

Yeah, yeah, it’s something we’ve “gotten used to” as the digital age has beat retail over the head senselessly as a “superior” option. But for folks like me who fail to see the speed difference when having a disc means you get into those games you want FASTER and with only any day one (or later) patches to download, this digital divide is more “haves” versus “have nots” stuff I see some game companies no longer addressing. Boo. But hell, I won’t take this minor annoyance out on NeoCore games and all their hard work at all. Although it WOULD be cool to see them get their trilogy out on consoles at some point so even MORE people could enjoy it. Eh, we’ll see. In between the ongoing strife here I need to fit my Sunday around getting this game onto a hard drive here, so it’s an early night for this old fart. Back in a bit.

Catlateral Damage Gets The Best Press Release of 2015 (So Far)

Posted on May 20, 2015 by geelw

Yeah, yeah. Posting press releases verbatim is LAZY and should be avoided at all costs (even though it costs no sense to do). But once in a while you get one that cracks you up and requires sharing because the product being shilled was fun enough to inspire a PR person to just do something so obvious that it works despite being awfully corny.

Of course, if you call a cat “corny” it will either ignore you and go take a nap or climb your leg like a lumberjack escaping from a starving bear up a very tall and sturdy tree. Anyway, video to roll and press release to read below, meow.

For Immediate Release

Catbridge, MA, May, 18, 2015 – Mew meow CATLATERAL DAMAGE meow meow-ow Steam mew OUYA! Meow-ow mew mrow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew meow mrow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew mrow meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow mrow mrow meow-ow mew mew mew. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew mrow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow.

Meow-ow mew meow meow Wed May 27th mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew mrow mrow mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow-ow mew mew mew mrow. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow. Purrrr… Meow raaarowwww meow.

Me-meow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew catlateraldamage.com!

And yes indeed you need this game just because your cat will knock you out of bed if you don’t buy it and let it play or watch you play while it naps. Cats can see in their sleep. Or so I’ve heard. On the other paw, If you own a dog you know it could care less about this game because it’s trying to figure out how to start up the car, drive to the store and buy some steaks with your credit card. Like that old Talking Heads song goes “Animals think… they’re pretty smart…”

The Witcher 3 Now Available: Some of You Won’t Be Seen For Weeks

Posted on May 19, 2015 by geelw

Or you’ll be seen in all your usual places but your minds will be elsewhere because you’ve been running around adventuring as Geralt in CD Projekt RED’s long-awaited open world masterpiece. If those glowing review scores are any indication, this one’s going to be keeping some folks busy for months between the main game and the upcoming DLC packs. I’d bet a nickel that more than a few people who’ve been holding out or saving up for something to play The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt will indeed make the big plunge (and hopefully see that there are a load of other games out there worth a buy in the process). ames like this are what keep me playing after all this time. You can take all those not an actual sport “eSports” titles, MOBAs and about 80% of every mobile or “social” game and stick them in a slow boat to Mars. None of those will ever best any game with a good solid story and characters you feel are part of a living, breathing fantasy world. Someone give CD Projekt RED a medal for keeping the flame alive already.

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: 2015, Meet 1999? That Works For Me

Posted on May 18, 2015 by geelw

Like a worn pair of favorite jeans you’ve had in your possession for years or a good leather jacket, NeoCore Games‘ throwback action/RPG The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing has been one of those reliable standbys that feels as it’s been around a great deal longer than it actually has. This is actually a good thing, mind you. NeoCore’s click and slash series is up to its third installment which is coming to Steam on May 22nd, so here’s a look at what to expect with that set of tease-packed videos above.

Diehard players who still have a death grip on their older Windows XP-powered computers will be glad to see as with the other two installments, Van Helsing III will run on their creaky old systems. Neocore doesn’t own them that at all, mind you. But it’s great to see a developer not ditch those players who bought that first game at all and continue to support them with all three parts of the series working on what they currently own. While the ability to use an Xbox 360 controller to play the game was a patched in addition to Van Helsing II, the game is still superior with the standard keyboard/mouse setup.

The mix of action, horror and humor elements is something that sets the game apart from the more deadly serious to much sillier Diablo-style games on the market, as is NeoCore’s attention to more “realistic” detailed environments. Granted, the mix of steampunk, classic monsters (werewolves, vampires and such) and other fantasy bits keeps things fresh throughout. One thing the game will need to be is extremely optimized and as good as can be at launch. VHII had some pesky launch issues that were resolved over time but probably soured a few gamers who tried it out and found it lacking in some areas. From what I’m seeing so far it seems that the third time’s the charm. We’ll find out in four more days.