Review: Valhalla Knights 3

Posted on December 9, 2013 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation Vita

Developer: K2

Publisher: Xseed Games/Marvelous AQL

# of Players: 1 – 7

ESRB Rating: M (Mature)

Score: B- (75%)

For some people, anything resembling sexual behavior in a video game seems to set them off ranting about things they don’t want to do (play the game in public or show it off to friends and family) or didn’t see at all thanks to overreacting and imposing arbitrary rules of the real world where it never needs to be. All I’ll say is this: if you can watch this music video without curling up into a ball in a corner and whining about it being too racy or sexist or prurient, you’re probably mature enough to play (and even enjoy) Valhalla Knights 3.

K2’s new Vita exclusive may not be the best looking game on Sony’s handheld and what’s here often feels a wee bit unfinished, needing actual interactivity in the environments in the form of destructible objects and structures that could be actually entered in some outdoor maps. While there are some amusing and dramatic moments to be found, the main plot could have also used a bit more spice, as it offers up some interesting ideas that don’t mature past a certain point…
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Gog.com’s Money Back Guarantee: Now, THEY’VE Got The Biggest Balls Of Them All!

Posted on December 9, 2013 by geelw

Well, the gauntlet has been officially thrown down hard as gog.com does for digital what others have done with retail, but on a crazier level. WORLDWIDE money-back guarantee if a game doesn’t work right? Wow. Other stuff in this agreement is also wow-worthy as well, but I’ll shut up and let you watch that video above. Granted, this being the internet and all, some jokers and jerkettes will want to abuse that money back deal like it’s a cute kitty caught in a glue trap (eww!). But I’d bet that the fine folks running the service will be on the case with the appropriate hammers to smash on the thumbs of any potential abusers or serial returners. I bet some fools get banned before a month passes because they’re just messing around, but hey – as I always say: Hell is indeed other people. We’ll see is Valve does something similar with its STEAM service – I won’t even try to speculate what’s going to happen there, folks…

Earth Defense Force 2025 Update: Fencer’s Up, Bugs “R” Done!

Posted on December 9, 2013 by geelw

Just a friendly little reminder from D3Publisher of America that Earth Defense Force 2025 is going to finally be winging your way soon. Well, February 2014 may not seem like “soon” to some of you out there, but it’s going to be well worth the wait, that’s for sure. Anyway, yes – this clip is supposed to be funny because it’s mimicking trailers from old samurai films, so feel free to chuckle it up if you’re on the same vibe.

Remember, people – EDF 2025 is ONLY coming to the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, so if you sold or traded off either console, start kicking yourself in the butt all the way back down to that game emporium. Or, if you gave your “old” system to your little brother or other relative, prepare to “borrow” it back and be NICE about it. No replacing that console with a cardboard box and an old telephone handset with analog sticks and buttons drawn on it with a Sharpie. You’ll get a sack of coal upside the head for that, pal!

Monster World RPG Update: Buy, Buy, Birdie!

Posted on December 9, 2013 by geelw

Another day, another MWRPG update. Actually, two updates so close together (this video actually dropped a few days back) is a GOOD thing, as it means the boys are getting closer to the end of all the bug testing and the game is going to get a release soon. And yes indeed, bug testing is TEDIOUS work. Strong men and women have thrown themselves from low basement windows up to the pavement while doing this thankless task, but if not for their sacrifices and valor, the games you play today would be chock FULL of issues. Er… well MORE games you play would be chock full of issues, as some of these huge AAA titles that ship out with mandatory online play are lousy with the digital pestilence. But, THIS game is s solo old-school JRPG, so I’d say the chances of it NOT running or being unplayable are slim to none. Huzzah!

How Do You Say “Play Ball!” In Japanese Again?

Posted on December 8, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, springdraco!)

So, yeah – someone decided to partially translate this classic Abbott and Costello routine from English to Japanese and somehow, I found this more hilarious than I needed to, so here you go. This clip is from the great old flick The Naughty Nineties, by the way. I think I was thinking of seeing this in full reverse with a pair of Japanese comics doing this bit in Japanese and having English subtitles done up. That would be pretty darn spectacular, as Japanese baseball has some oddball rules you don’t see here that make it a more exciting game in a few respects. Granted, I’m not a HUGE sports fan at all (yeah, yeah – I’m soooo unpatriotic it hurts YOU more than it does me), but I know funny when I see it and appreciate a good laugh a hell of a lot more than a well thrown, hit or caught ball of any type.

Oh, yeah – here’s a longer version of the famous routine below – enjoy!

(thanks, ClassicTV789!)

Kind Of A Lazy Sunday, But Not Exactly…

Posted on December 8, 2013 by geelw

(thanks Josh Landeros!)

HA! Fooled you, didn’t I? You though I’d not post a darn thing today, hmmmm? Well, I was busy tinkering with some stuff, so there. Anyway, yeah – the backlog continues, but I’m winding up some fun stuff and have a few surprises on the way in the coming weeks. Going to give away some reading material soon, there’s a guest writer on the back burner popping up in a few weeks and between then, I’m just going to be cackling like a madman and rubbing my hands together because one silly plan I thought up just may work out FINE. Maybe. Wear a helmet just in case stuff explodes in my face again is all I’m saying, kids. Okay, that’s it for now. Or perhaps not if I can complete this review I started, lost and am reconstructing in another window as we speak. Maybe it’ll go up tomorrow morning, as I need to add a lot of screenshots? We’ll see… we’ll see.

Sleepy Kong gotta go get him a cuppa joe. Lateness of the hour aside, it’s been a stupidly busy but backwards day here. Bye!

Virtuix Omni: Space Invaders For The New VR Horsey Set…

Posted on December 7, 2013 by geelw

With all the fuss and happy-happy fury about virtual reality gaming seemingly becoming an ACTUAL reality sooner than later (again, but in a few smaller, lighter and thankfully less expensive formats), you know someone had to take things to an even more intensive level of immersion. Enter the folks at Virtuix Omni and their rather innnnterersting peripheral that’s going to get your ass up of its ass and make you play those 3D games in a whole new way. Unlike some of those first VR terminals of the 1990’s where you stood and basically turned in place with your arm out, the Omni Natural Motion Interface will get you a workout you can’t believe and probably will get hooked on once your body heals from the first few days of wondering why the hell you’re REALLY running when you usually sit down to play that favorite shooter, action game or open-world RPG… Continue reading →

The Lego Movie Videogame Trailer: Meta Enough For You? My Mind Left An Hour Ago…

Posted on December 7, 2013 by geelw

Okay. It’s a video game based on a movie about toys including many that have been the subject of entire video games. Well, at least TT Games (the folks who’ve made all those successful LEGO video games for the last few years) is on the case and what’s here will no doubt LOOK and PLAY fantastically. I’m just still not at all sold on the need for a LEGO movie, period. Yeah, yeah – it’s going to be chock full of in jokes and references up the wazoo and sure, I did chuckle a bit when watching this trailer.

However, given that LEGO fans have made more interesting (and less celebrity-filled) movies for less money (a whole lot less money that what this is costing not counting the marketing), my inner cynic has been activated for close to a year ever since I got wind of the film being made. Oh, I’m SURE this will make its money back quickly worldwide, but at the end of the day, it’s going to be a hollow shell of an experience if it’s missing even what amounts to a plastic heart at the center no matter how many writers try to slap in some sappy moments to make you tear up a wee bit. In any event, the game should either do fine or really confuse the easily confused with too many game systems, as it’s being released on no fewer than EIGHT platforms (what, NO Wii version?!). Seriously. The funniest part of the trailer for me was seeing all those game packages at the end. Collectors alert, indeed!

Eh, we’ll see what happens – maybe I just need a hug or something…

The Gate: When Free, Hell and iOS Together Are Actually A Great Thing…

Posted on December 7, 2013 by geelw

Currently an iOS exclusive and out NOW, The Gate is a free to play fantasy-themed card battle/RTS from American McGee and developer Spicy Horse Games that looks amazing and should grab the attention of those iOS users looking for some high-quality gaming on the go with a bit more bite.

As you can see, the game’s lovely artwork is quite impressive, mixing in a bit of Diablo with some original elements quite nicely. Killer artwork of course, doesn’t entirely make a game, but it looks as if the team has cooked up quite a winner on the gameplay front with a little help from DeNA and Mobage. In other words, it looks as if going to Hell will actually be something you’ll want to to many, many times once you pick this one up and get hooked into all it has to offer.

Currently, there’s no word if this is coming to non-iOS platforms, but I’d gather this all depends on how well the iOS version does. I’m an eternal optimist (or at least someone who prefers more choice outside of Apple platforms), so I’m hoping more gamers who play on other devices can get a taste of The Gate at some point in the near future.

As for what to expect if your interest is piqued, well… peek below the jump for the gory details (or: it’s press release time!)…
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LAWLESS: DeNA’s Arcade Shooter Brings The HEAT To iOS…

Posted on December 6, 2013 by geelw

Another of DeNA’s surprises for mobile devices was this great looking fast paced arcade-style tap and shoot game, LAWLESS, that’s a surprisingly fun mash-up of classic light gun games such as Time Crisis, Virtua Cop and Area 51 and Michael Mann’s stellar crime flick, HEAT. If that sounds like a match made in coin-drop heaven it comes off even more excellently thanks to developers Eight Pixels Squared and DeNA Scattered Entertainment.

Sitting down with DeNA’s Barry Dorf for a quick look at the game, I was surprised at the combination of nicely realistic visuals and speedy timed gameplay that was immediately accessible and yes, addictive. Like the other games shown, this one’s free to play in solo or multiplayer modes with the option to buy in should one choose to upgrade. Based on some quick hands-on time with this one, I can see a lot of people opting in to spend a little to a lot of cash to keep this one going for a good long time… Continue reading →