Speaking of Service: Civic Duty, No Complaints Division, Part II

whovotedWhat the? I go out to exercise my civic duty AGAIN after doing so for a week on jury duty (bleah!, but we did set an innocent guy free after 2 years of crap) and all I get is a sticker? Boo! I got gypped. Whomever wins better realize they work for ME now (and you, if you live here and cast a ballot), even if I did or didn’t help put them in office. I want my popsicle pony as promised or whatever else I have coming to me, is all I’m saying!

Still a bit rocky on the comeback trail as far as this icky court-related cold goes, but I do feel a bit better having done that polling place purge. I’m not planning to stress myself watching coverage, though. Just recuperate and revenge on the burgeoning inbox tomorrow. Good and Night, people.

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Random Film of the Week(end): Mister Freedom

Mr Freedom PosterAll this Sony madness surrounding The Interview made me think of a few films that either got some controversy upon their release in other countries, but I also thought of William Klein’s never released to the western public Mister Freedom, a masterpiece of absurdity that begs to be seen. Take the overall wackier bits from Dr. Strangelove, add in a jingoistic, xenophobic, sexist, quick to rile all-American superhero modeled after Superman and Captain America, add a ton of absurd visual elements and shake well.

For a film made in 1969, this one so far ahead of its time that some viewers may be shocked at what they see taking place. On the other hand, the film also shows that old adage “The more things change, the more they stay the same” is all too true in terms of politics and other targets ripe for satire. Klein, a famed fashion photographer and American expatriate living in France, made one of those films that will outrage some and make the rest laugh at as well as with it exactly as its director intended… Continue reading

Tactical Bacon? Oh-kaaaay. But Here’s What’s Really Good About This Can O’ Worms…

Tactical Bacon So, this exists and it made me laugh like hell because I know bacon maniacs will snap this up and load it into their man caves and woman holes (I guess that’s what you call a lady’s den of digital sin), survivalist storage and *yawn* overpriced “anti-zombie” apocalypse kits. Here’s the thing, folks: this product and a few others may actually be a way to clean out the gene pool if there’s such a thing as a survivable disaster scenario.

How? Well, as long as we normal folks hold out as best we can, the folks who stocked up on canned smoked cooked bacon will start to die off from heart attacks (you can’t just eat ONE strip of bacon!) or fight to the death over that last can of salty porky awesomeness. As long as there’s water to last and you’re off the streets during the riot hours, at some point in the not too distant future, the gunfire will cease, the scent of canned bacon will dissipate and once the grass starts to grow greener, the rest of us can step outside and over the bones of what remains of the human race after the Great Bacon War.

Tactical Bacon IIOr something like that. Get your own can(s) of Tactical Bacon if you want to HERE or Amazon, some fine sporting goods shops and other reasonably unusual emporiums where you’d think something kooky like this would be sold. My heart seized up twice just writing this post, so I can’t even look at bacon anymore these days… *sob*

Bacon Craze Gets People Stupid About A Dumb, Dumb Device…

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer exec
That is who I truly want to be-e-eee…
‘Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer exec,
I’d put a halt to this stupidity!

Sooo, It’s apparent that some people at Oscar Mayer are either smoking that bacon a wee bit too much, as they have no clue as to what hell they’re about to unleash on themselves and a “lucky” few people who get something in the mail that may change their lives (and not for the better). It seems that the eggheads over at the “Oscar Meyer Institute For The Advancement of Bacon” have come up with a tiny device that plugs into your phone and when triggered using you’re phone’s alarm system, puffs out the scent of sizzling bacon along with an accompanying sound effect. What. The. Fork? Look:

Now, this is cute and all, but as soon as I heard about this project, my brain spit out its tea. Then when I saw that video above, my brain hit itself in the head with a cast iron fry pan. What. The. Fork? Continue reading

How Do You Say “Play Ball!” In Japanese Again?

(thanks, springdraco!) 

So, yeah – someone decided to partially translate this classic Abbott and Costello routine from English to Japanese and somehow, I found this more hilarious than I needed to, so here you go. This clip is from the great old flick The Naughty Nineties, by the way. I think I was thinking of seeing this in full reverse with a pair of Japanese comics doing this bit in Japanese and having English subtitles done up. That would be pretty darn spectacular, as Japanese baseball has some oddball rules you don’t see here that make it a more exciting game in a few respects. Granted, I’m not a HUGE sports fan at all (yeah, yeah – I’m soooo unpatriotic it hurts YOU more than it does me), but I know funny when I see it and appreciate a good laugh a hell of a lot more than a well thrown, hit or caught ball of any type.

Oh, yeah – here’s a longer version of the famous routine below – enjoy!

(thanks, ClassicTV789!)

It’s Evacuation Day! What The Heck Are YOU Doing At Work, America?

(thanks DestructionMode!) 
Okay, so only a handful of states actually celebrate this now obscure holiday, but I find it amusing that more states and workers aren’t using this to get that one more day off in a week where pretty much nothing gets done save for people gear up to get the hell out of Dodge and go driving tens to hundreds of miles just to stuff themselves full of food that will make them sleepy before they get back IN those vehicles to head out and spend all their money shopping for a lot of people they really don’t like all that much (i.e. family members). OK, so I’m a little and intentionally cynical during this time of the year up to THAT time of the year. But that’s because it’s when you see what I like to call “hypocrisy inaction” where people rant about the old ways being trampled while they themselves can’t force themselves to pass up on that nineteen dollar boombox or two buck sandwich maker that will burn up anything that’s placed between it.

There are a few other things that bug me about this time of year, but I won’t “rant” about them here because I think nearly everyone has their own holiday horrors or knows people that become a bit TOO cheery to be around as if they’re in some Bizarro world where teddy bears, lousy sweaters, fruit cakes and happy-happy joy-joy greetings 24-7 are their marching orders. And. They. Just. Won’t. STOP. Hmmm… that’s practically a Doctor Who episode if it hasn’t been done already. Alright, shutting up now – just ignore me and get back to buying that Butterball and reading up on the pre-pre-pre Black Friday deals you’ll be pissed off at because as soon as you buy something, the price drops elsewhere and you feel like a sucker. Again…

Yeah, I’m Back (With Some Bigger Fish to Fry)…

So, that nasty sore throat that was making my life miserable is pretty much dead in the water thanks to a few limes, some honey, hot water and a good knife. Peel and cut up 2 limes into bite size pieces, place them into a bowl, pour some honey on them and eat up. Yum! Well, it’s not supposed to be dessert, but that angry kitten with be gone from that throat. make some hot tea with what’s left and drink that if necessary. All I have now is this sneezing and a bit of stuffy nose action to deal with. I think tomorrow is a federal holiday anyway, so my fastest wi-fi spot may be shut down anyway, but I wanted to kick this stupid cold in the groin a few times so I’m all fresh and fancy for a few meetings coming up this week. Die, germs! I got your shutdown right here, POW!

Annnnnd speaking of shutdowns, Continue reading