TGS 2016: BERSERK + Musou Stars Make Up For An Ongoing Crappy Year

Posted on September 17, 2016 by geelw

So. This week? LOUSY. I’m still trying to get my busted PlayStation 3 back from the jerk in Brooklyn who I sent it to for repair but neither did the work nor sent back the console, but can’t seem to get the legal wheels I set in motion to move faster after over four months. I finally went and bought my own new PS4 last week, but just found out it was shipped and allegedly arrived on the 12th, but was REFUSED, which is somewhat IMPOSSIBLE. I was here waiting for it all damn week and, hell, I don’t REFUSE any packages with my name on them. I suspect something fishy happened with the USPS driver and my purchase, as the standard procedure is to leave a slip in the mailbox if a recipient isn’t home. To me, REFUSED means someone figured out what was in the box and decided to give him or herself an early holiday gift at my expense.

I’ve contacted the seller to see if that return has indeed been returned and am waiting for a response. USPS is NO help at all, as all I got from them in an email saying the package was REFUSED and sent back, but I need to find out if it was received before proceeding further. If that PS4 is unaccounted for, I’ll be quite (well, even MORE) annoyed. Losing my old PS3 with ten years of save data is bad enough, considering I ended up having to replace that console with the same model, which wasn’t cheap. Losing $300 more on that new PS4 is going to make me want to kick something off the planet. Amusingly enough, I’d forgotten Tokyo Game Show is happening and Koei Tecmo gave my stressed out brain two games I really want to play… even though I currently have nothing to play them on.

Yeah, I hate people sometimes. Particularly the ones that cost me time and money on nonsense like this. FEH. Well… first world problems, I guess? Somebody have a good weekend out there, as I sure as hell won’t. I have NO idea with is up with me and tech and a few other things this year, but this song is now my life’s main title theme:

(Thanks, JORGE HITS OFFICIAL!)

October’s Arrows Draw PLENTY of Blood

Posted on September 16, 2016 by geelw

Only three releases next month, but one is a SUPER biggie. That said, getting that that particular Arrow Video October release will be tough as hell for some budget-minded collectors unless they score a great online deal. Anyway, here’s what’s coming up soon:

Vamp [Blu-ray] (October 4th, $29.95 MSRP)

THE FIRST KISS COULD BE YOUR LAST!

Two fraternity pledges head to a seedy part of town to find some entertainment for their college friends but are faced with bloodthirsty vampires! Keith (Chris Makepeace, Meatballs) and AJ (Robert Rusler, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge) want to make the right impression at college and so they devise a plan to get them into the best frathouse on campus. They head to the After Dark Club where they want to find a stripper for a party their friends won’t forget, instead they find themselves among vampires led by Kinky Katrina (Grace Jones, A View to a Kill)!

Almost certainly an influence on From Dusk til Dawn, Vamp is superbly designed by many of Grace Jones’ own award-winning collaborators and features stunning effects by four-time Oscar winner Greg Cannom (The Lost Boys, Bram Stoker’s Dracula). Delivering laughs and scares in equal measure, with the added bonus of vampy sex appeal, Vamp is a comedy horror romp with real bite!

Bonus Materials
– High Definition digital transfer
– Original mono audio
– Subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing
– One of those Nights: The Making of Vamp – a brand new documentary featuring interviews with director Richard Wenk, stars Robert Rusler, Dedee Pfeiffer, Gedde Watanabe
– Behind-the-scenes rehearsals
– Blooper Reel
– Image gallery
– Dracula Bites the Big Apple (1979) – Richard Wenk’s celebrated short film
– Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by the Twins of Evil
– First pressing only: Booklet featuring new writing on the film by critic Cullen Gallagher

More below the jump (MUCH more!)… Continue reading →

Help Save FILM THREAT! Or Else…

Posted on September 14, 2016 by geelw

#SaveFilmThreat HERE I’ve never met Chris Gore in person, but I did make him laugh at least once. That’s a not too long story I’ll save for another time, as I’m BURIED in stuff to do. In the meantime, go help save FILM THREAT or else we don’t get to keep a national treasure of sorts around. I was thinking about writing for the mag or web site at one point many moons back when a friend gave me a copy and I fell for the look and overall tone. But my writing back them was wretched and hasn’t progressed much since. But I wallow in my lack of talent quite well, thank you much.

But, hey! This isn’t about me, it’s about YOU. Or more specifically, YOU helping keep FILM THREAT alive and kicking. Hmmm… maybe they could use some of my old art one of these days? Hmmmm…

Seraph: Demons Die Faster On A Lead Diet

Posted on September 13, 2016 by geelw

Pretty much what would happen if a side-scrolling version of Diablo had its way with The Matrix. This is, yes, a good thing.

Two things almost stopped me from trying out developer Dreadbit’s super fun and challenging Seraph ($12.99). One was the claim of not needing to aim in a side-scrolling shooter (What?!), and the other was the use of the words ‘Gun Fu’ (Geshundheit!) in the game description.

As in:

Seraph is a super-slick, skill-based, acrobatic shooter. Take the role of an angel who’s mastered the art of ‘Gun Fu’ as she battles her way through hordes of twisted demons.

Ugh. That reminded me of sitting through the 2002 action flick Equilibrium, one of those movies where you have to throw both your suspension of disbelief (some of those plot points!) and sense of wonder (the film’s dreary tone overwhelms the solid stunts) under a truck before buying a ticket. Thankfully, unlike that Bale-jumping flick, Seraph has style to spare, the screens and trailers showed tons of promise and yes, the game does deliver the goods every chance it gets.

You play as the titular female angel, a death-dealer trapped in two places: a demon-packed prison and the fragile frame of a human. If that body perishes, so does our agile heroine. Equipped with Olympic-style acrobatic moves and two different weapons from an increasingly powerful selection, the game task players with surviving some pretty hellish enemy types who want that angel pushing up daisies.

Continue reading →

What The .dll? Or: Hot Ember Code Giveaway, Back On Track!

Posted on September 10, 2016 by geelw

Oh. Brother. And so, it took me three days or so to figure out that the registry cleaning and other maintenance I did on the laptop and/or Microsoft’s fiddly ding-crack wizzle Windows 10 being an unhelpful junk pile of coding somehow removed the .dll file certain games use to start up. Guess which game in particular WOULD NOT RUN at all and made me think it missed its launch day? Yep. Sure, I popped onto Steam to finally find people playing and commenting away. But I figured my early build was having issues of some sort.

Well, that actually wasn’t the case… Continue reading →

Free Stuff Friday: Assault Suits Leynos on Steam, Anyone?

Posted on September 9, 2016 by geelw

Hokay, Ember still isn’t up and running on Steam yet, so I’m going to plan B, thanks to the fine folks at Rising Star Games! BOOM! ONE lucky person with a Steam account will win ONE absolutely FREE code for the the hard as heck Assault Suits Leynos. Post here and I’ll pick a winner tomorrow at noon!

Rules and such below the jump.

Continue reading →

Review: Worms W.M.D All-Stars

Posted on September 9, 2016 by geelw

Team 17’s very disposable heroes are back in another great game guaranteed to never leave your playlist.

Platform: PC
Developer: Team 17
Publisher: Team 17
Release Date: Aug 23, 2016
# of Players: 1 – 4
MSRP: $29.99
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10+)
Official Site
Score: B+ (85%)

I never even thought I’d ebe a Worms player until back around 1997 when I got conned into joining a game a few folks were in that needed one more willing victim clueless about was was coming. I was new, but wanting to learn the (ninja) ropes and figured things would go pretty easy for my team. Nope. After some initial wriggling about, the other players proceeded to fry my poor worms up like bacon and I think it took about half a dozen or so more attempts to realize the bums I was playing with were just looking for someone less skilled to gang up on. Feh, but I was now hooked into the game and have continued to enjoy most of them since. Flash forward a bunch of years and with Worms W.M.D on the scene, Team 17 has both gone back to basics on a few fronts while expanding the game into current play trends. That very handy once mastered Ninja Rope is back, but you also get on the fly crafting that allows anyone to tinker with item drops to create game-changing goodies.

Of course, this means the more mean-spirited gamers out there will be ganging up on newbies as well as veterans to deliver some awful beat downs that aren’t exactly “tactical” in nature. However, the game packs in more than enough option tweaking and so much content that you can find a happy medium of polite players who merely want to even more politely destroy your little worm army into polite little pieces. Continue reading →

Ember: Waiting For My New Flame (And Yours) To Return…

Posted on September 9, 2016 by geelw

“Hey! There’s supposed to be an Ember review up already!”

Well, there would be, but the game isn’t back up Steam after getting carted away for some tweaking and having its release date shifted to sometime today. Amusingly enough, I got about five or six hours in over the last weekend and before the game’s temporary removal, but for some reason the game clock kept running. When I checked in at some point Monday to pop back into the game with my notes, it not only wasn’t running, I saw my time was a whopping 27 hours. Eek. I could have sworn I shut my laptop down a few times over the weekend, so I’ve no clue as to what happened.

Oh, look! The launch trailer!

Anyway, from what I’ve played so far… I say it’s a buy AND a bargain at $9.99 Or: YES, you should buy this if you’re an old school CRPG fan or a new fan who want a gorgeous game world to explore full of life and depth (as in the game world is lively and the books here are great little lore reads). My full review is going to be up once the game is back up and I sink some more time into it. I kind of left things at a crucial moment and I hope my save files are intact. Back in a bit. I had Eventbrite plans for today, but just tossed them out a window here. Hey, it takes a lot to get me to pass up free alcohol. This game’s one of those things.

Back in a bit. Funny, it’s Free Stuff Friday, too. I have two Ember codes here to give out, but not until the game goes live. Drop a VERY short note in the comments if you’re interested, and I’ll pick two of you later today. Er, once the game is back up. Yes, you need a STEAM account if you don’t have one yet.

Review: Monsters & Monocles (PC)

Posted on September 6, 2016 by geelw

A smashing, jolly good time in a cartoon steampunk Victorian run ‘n gun that’s a total blast. Grab your friends or go make a few new online ones!

Platform: PC
Developer: Retro Dreamer
Publisher: Retro Dreamer
Release Date: Aug 16, 2016
# of Players: 1 – 4
MSRP: $14.99
ESRB Rating: NA
Official Site
Score: A (95%)

Yeah, yeah. Run ‘n Gun games are RAMPANT on Steam these days, but exactly how many have you playing as a tea-sipping dog in a smoking jacket named Baron von Dogface? One. SOLD! Well, in Retro Dreamer’s spectacular Monsters & Monocles, you can also play as the sharp-dressed Lady Cannonhail, mustachioed Rupert Killingsworth, or the monocle and top hat-sporting Monobot, all solid cartoony killing machines worth taking through this tough twin-sticker.

Snazzy pixel art, bouncy animation and some great tunes drive the action here, and this isn’t a cakewalk you can one-hand through with a cucumber sandwich with the crust cut off in the other. In fact, the tough difficulty makes this a great game to solo and even better with like-minded friends. Local and online co-op keep thinngs rolling along, so if you’re having trouble with a boss or some of the monster packed rooms here, just recruit a pal (well, after you extol the virtues of this gem and they buy it, of course). Fans of the Alien Shooter games and the oldie but goodie toughie Soldiers of Fortune (or The Chaos Engine, for those of you who prefer the better original name) shoul eat this one up, as it packs in the non-stop action while being quite rewarding like a great arcade run ‘n gun should.

Continue reading →

Review: Overcooked (PC)

Posted on September 5, 2016 by geelw

“There’s gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight…”

Platform: PC
Developer: Ghost Town Games Ltd.
Publisher: Team17 Digital Ltd.
Release Date: Aug 3, 2016
# of Players: 1-4
MSRP: $16.99
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Official Site
Score: A- (90%)
Just what the ~~doctor~~ chef ordered in this era of “social” videogaming being primarily online, Ghost Town Games’ brilliant, peppy Overcooked is also a great family-friendly breath of fresh air as well as a perfect party game for up to four players. The game is a fun hybrid of elements from the classic PS1 import Ore No Ryouri (or it’s Americanized “remake” Cook, Serve, Delicious!), with a dash of Diner Dash for good measure.

Everything clicks right off the bat with that humorous tutorial that teaches you the basics, to the charming, colorful and cute visual style, bouncy tunes and yes, that fast-paced gameplay. There’s a story about feeding an ultimate demon meals that will keep it from chomping the kingdom you’re in, but it’s just gravy on the tasty as heck cake here. The assorted kitchens you cook in under all sorts of hilariously hellish conditions and the rotating cast of chefs you’ll meet make this one a game that will make you laugh a lot even when things are collapsing on the cooking front.