So, yeah… another year over, another one on the way. If you’re one of THOSE people who year after year forces pen to paper or fingers to keyboard to type out a long list of resolutions and then 364.5 days later you’re sobbing uncontrollably on that crumpled up sheet of paper or all over your mouse, perhaps it’s time to take it easy on yourself. Yes, SOME folks can knock out resolutions like Ali in his prime taking on a tomato can, but real people tend to do stuff like fall of the wagon, backslide, slip up, trip up, cave in and other things that keep them from going all the way with tackling some issues. Lighten up, I say. Unless you’re dealing with a personal, vice or health issue where you NEED daily (or hell, hourly) support to keep the flame burning, many other resolutions are either useless or bucket list stuff that will just kill you if you go do them all in a year.
Me, I’d LOVE to go see some wildlife up close and personal-like in Africa or somewhere without bars between me and the fuzzy smelly creatures of the jungle, but finances and fear of being ingested by something or catching something else (or both) keeps me safe at home. Of course, seeing that video above just kicked my dream in the groin hard (d’awwww, BIG Kittieeeeeees!), so I’ll use that as my official check off of that little “goal”. You know, now that I think about it, I really SHOULD make up a list of things NOT to resolve to do in 2014 and pass it along to you dear readers out there in internet land. Alright, DONE. Well, not yet – I’m busy on some other stuff, but yeah… expect a house of ideas to pop up shortly…
“Let me tell you something… You know Santa Claus? Yeah. well… he’s nothing but a gawd-damn pervert!” Most of the mouthful of coffee I’d just drank ended up coming back through my mouth and nose ending up on the formerly clean table as I now struggled to breathe. It’s a good thing my eggs weren’t ready yet.
The waitress that seated me rushed over with a dishcloth and asked if I was alright as she wiped the table down, seemingly wanting to reach over and start slapping me on the back or testing her Heimlich skills. As she placed her other hand above my back, I managed to nod and signaled up at her with an “OK” sign while letting out a strangled “Oh, it just went down the wrong way…” she breathed a half sigh of half relief. “Oh, I thought the coffee was too hot or burnt or something. Hold on, honey – I’ll get you a fresh cup!” She scooted off to do so and as I patted my shirt down with some napkins, I glanced to the left and behind me to see who almost killed me before breakfast… Continue reading →
Some people think the PlayStation Vita is dead in the water. I’m not one of those people for a few darn good reasons, number one being I actually OWN one and aren’t some overpaid analyst or internet troll with a grudge. Although the few titles listed below are only a tiny slice of what I played during this year, they’re all highly recommended because they managed to pack a load of fun into that system while being completely different game experiences.
Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable was the first “big” game of 2013 for me and Japanese developer Sandlot didn’t disappoint in bringing an enhanced “port” of their former Xbox 360 exclusive to Sony’s handheld in fine form indeed. You’re not buying an EDF game for the best visuals nor a deep and engaging story at all, folks. But if you’re a fan of 1950’s giant insect and Japanese sci-fi flicks, the mash-up here is relentless and supremely entertaining. That and the game can take weeks or months to complete if you decide to go it solo like a true EDF maniac and play through all the different difficulty levels while trying to get every single weapon and trophy you can. Toss in Pale Wing from EDF2 (she changes the gameplay up drastically and is a blast to play around with) and the ability to play with like-minded EDF mates in co-op (which makes the tougher difficulty levels much more bearable if you’re fighting for all the Trophies) and you get a fun little evergreen that’s addictive and makes you want more. Thankfully, Sandlot’s newest EDF game is headed to the PS3 and Xbox 360 in February here in North America and it’s packed full of all-new content and even tougher enemies to defeat.
If you like things grimmer yet still action-heavy, Soul Sacrifice is not only right up your alley, it’s calling out to you and drifting onto your Vita before you even realize it. Given that Sony very wisely released a lengthy demo that allows your save file to be transferred into the full version, this ends up as one of those games where you’ll try before buying and end up happier because of it. Between the dark, disturbing storyline and the combat-packed gameplay where dispatching or saving enemy souls changes up the game considerably, there’s a solid sense of progress felt as you clear each chapter and gain some formidable powers. While you can (and should) clear the game solo, a solid co-op mode insures this one will be played about as much or more with a few friends. There’s already a sequel coming to Japan and it’s bound to land here as well (most likely sometime in 2014), but it would be even better to have this as a PS4 (and PS3) game for those of us who like our games on larger screens…
Tearaway caught me way off guard because I hadn’t been following it at all until I saw screens and a fantastic gamplay movie sometime after E3. Media Molecule’s quirky art style gets a flat paper makeover and as a Vita exclusive, the use of both touch screens is superb and yes, better implemented than anything on the 3DS as far as input goes (Although you DO need to watch your fingers when that bottom screen poking action is in play). The game is part adventure, part platformer, and all extremely wonderful to sit down with for a spell. Watching someone watch someone play this game is also great, as non-gamers tend to be more amazed at what we take for granted and yep, they’ll want to try this one out after about a minute or two of watching you getting tap-happy. Between the main game and the incredible chunk of freedom you have in customization, this in one of those titles you’ll probably go back to many times after you’ve completed it…
I really wanted to play Ruin ever since I saw the demo at a Sony press event waaaaay back before the Vita launched, but it seems that the cross-platform PS3/Vita action RPG is either dead in the water or still in development hell. It’s too bad about that game, but Doki Doki Universe, while not a substitute at all, manages to be the first Vita/PS3/PS4 cross platform experience available and it’s a non-stop charmingly goofy one at that. You’re a robot that was abandoned on a tiny asteroid with a red balloon and after being picked up by a UFO, it’s up to you to explore a bunch of different worlds in order to discover what humanity means as you help a bunch of folks with assorted problems. It’s basically Toe Jam & Earl as a side-scroller (one of the guys who created that Sega Genesis classic worked on this new one), a ton of stuff to collect and optional facebook mail integration that’s great for those of you social butterflies that LOVE to share all sorts of stuff. The whimsical art style recalls a child’s drawings come to life and won’t make you think of the power of any system running it at all. Nevertheless, the game hooks you in from the beginning and keeps you playing perhaps a bit longer than you thought you would (which is always a good thing)…
Honorable Mentions (and then some!): Killzone: Mercenary, Ys: Memories of Celceta, Valhalla Knights 3, Terraria, The Pinball Arcade.
A few weeks back on an otherwise fine Tuesday while I was at the library typing away on a review or something at the usual table I sit at near the DVD section, a man came in with a friend of his looking for a particular film. However, from listening to their conversation behind me (the gentlemen weren’t whispering), neither could recall the title. As there wasn’t a clerk in earshot at the time, my encyclopedic brain clued into things quickly when one guy said “it’s about this black guy with a twin brother who’s white or something like that…” and without turning around (hey, I was busy and decided to help them out so I didn’t have to hear them gab away), I chimed in with “Suture” and heard both their heads turn around with a cartoon snapping sound. Not looking up, I smiled. I tend to surprise people sometimes with my head full of useless know-it-almost range on certain subjects
One guy leaned in like I was his new best friend and said “YEAH, that’s it! HOW did you know that, man?” His clothes smelled like he just ate at the newly re-opened McDonalds across the street and had a cigarette afterwards. My nose hairs curled up something awful, and I offered up the following nugget of truth: I’d seen it back when it was released and a few times on cable a few years later. To which Mr. Tobacco Burger (who’d turned around so his head was now on correctly) offered up his own nugget of truth. “I’ve been looking for this movie FOREVER, man!” (Edit: Okay, partial truth) – I heard it’s SO strange… I like strange movies like that!” I didn’t want to spoil his mood, but I did inform him that he should either ask at the front desk or see if it was in the database. of course, two or more amusing things happened after that, but I’ll keep you in suspense for a bit… Continue reading →
That said, I think even Sony realizes the insanity of forcing PS4 owners to pay for the “privilege” of multiplayer gaming on their new console. Stick around until the end of this trailer and note how that stupid little thing about paying to play online is shoved in quickly at the end. Granted, they just hit you on the head HARD with the free games mallet and you’re already so dizzy you didn’t even realize you’d whipped out that credit card and signed up. The free games are MORE than worth that $50 and yes, Sony’s not kidding about that “instant game library” thing. The drawback to this is STORAGE space, as even though you get free cloud saves and a nicely sized HDD this time out (which is still small when you consider the size of some new games), you can’t access them should PSN go down for the count for a few days or even a few hours for simple maintenance.
Thankfully, the PS4 will play disc games and anything you have stored locally offline if the game has offline play. Anyway, I think they need to DUMP the requirement to pay to play MP games, as it’s NOT a privilege at all. If a game is made to be played online, any fee should be part of the price of the game, period. Asking people to pony up as part of a package is lame, even if they do get what amounts to a few thousand bucks a year in free content. Granted, having thee time to PLAY all those freebies AND buy and play NEW games requires either quitting one’s day job, renting out a TARDIS so you can go back in time to fire up a game, complete it and go back to start a new one and some other time magic. But hey, who can pass up FREE when the buffet is so tantalizing?
So, yes. I went to bed earlier than usual after the spending the previous 24+ hours awake and I’d like to think I got a great rest now. However, I popped up in bed at 5:44am wide awake and as it was still dark outside, a bit annoyed that I was up. Of course, I did what anyone else would do… got out of bed and turned the computer on. Which was (of course) a bad idea. As I am the KING of bad ideas, I didn’t turn down the chance to hold onto my title. Amusingly enough, it probably would have been a better idea to relinquish that crown temporarily because nearly everything I tried to do online failed. I think my PC was still trying to sleep, so stuff like posting comments on a few blogs I follow or poking around to see if the stuff I was trying to sell on eBay kept getting me booted around with a few error messages.
Then again, my home computer needs some major updating which I haven’t done on the slower connection there. My super updated (thanks to free library wi-fi) laptop was in the other room all bagged up and ready to go later and yours truly wasn’t about to go out there and take it from its snug case to play with for a bit (as I’d be tempted to poke around all those games I’ve got installed)…
I’ve never trusted machines much even though like most of you, I tend to take them all for granted. Heck, we built those stupid machines (and even built the robots that build most machines today), so it’s not like they’re going to NOT do what we want them to like a mistreated pet suddenly turning on its owner, right? RIGHT?Wrong. Granted, plenty of industrial and freak accidents claim some while humans using machines constructed for menial to major tasks to kill other humans has been a thing ever since man started inventing and building stuff. Someone gets mad enough or crazy enough and even the most innocent looking tool gets used to do someone in, usually in a pretty messy manner. If Lizzie Borden had say, an old rolling pin instead of an axe, she might have merely lumped up her parents and not hacked them to bits. Even with an axe, bad aim is still pretty deadly…
So, I’m surprisingly alive, but I think I took a five-minute nod earlier. Anyway, this trailer for a Kickstarter funded film project is making the rounds and while it does pack a punch in few places, all that green screen work is a wee bit TOO perfect for an 80’s action flick. Yeah, yeah, it’s cheesy and hilarious, but somehow, the perfect mattes and effects seem more out of a full-motion video game than an intentionally awful movie that would have landed in a theater around 1987 or later. Granted, if this WAS a game project, I’d pony up a sack of pennies in a heartbeat (BOOM!). But as it is, this is going to make its target without a dime from me and make a lot of people smile in the process. Granted, this could end up like the next Snakes on a Plane if the jokes wear too thin, as what’s here is basically an expensive Saturday Night Live short film that’s stretched to what’s seemingly feature length. That said, you have to love the computer effects and Nintendo Power Glove with the finger tips cut off (those things were always too tight for adults unless they has kid-sized mitts) plus a few other things…
Let me tell you right now, dear readers, today is going to be nuts in all the best ways (and perhaps a few worst ones). Yours truly got not a wink of sleep last night. Not a wink. None. ero (as in no Z’s, ha ho ha haa).
It’s not that I intended to stay up all night long, ladies and germs. I just had my head filled to the brim with deep thoughts (and not so deep thoughts), couldn’t sleep and figured I’d go play a game until I passed out in front of the TV. Usually, that or a bad movie will do the trick within about half an hour to an hour, but before I knew it, Mr. Sun was peeping in the back room window and I was staring at the TV with big saucer eyes (see left). Now, I could have simply shut everything down and headed straight to bed (the smart thing), but noooooo… I had some important stuff to tackle…
So, yeah – that’s my non-denominational and generic holiday card above. I already posted this image on facebook a few days or a week back, but forgot to run it here (duh!). It’s actually an old watercolor I did oh, back around 1998 or so (if not earlier that decade). I used to hand-paint dozens of these and send them out to people I knew, but I simply haven’t been able to find the time to do this in quite some time. Back then, each one was different in size because I used assorted scraps from a pile of assorted watercolor paper I’d collected from the art store I worked at (they normally discarded these bits and pieces, but I decided to recycle!) , but had more or less the same image. Anyway, Happy/Merry Whatever and Peace somewhere or other (but here on earth first, as it’s nice to actually enjoy some silence once in a while)… Back in a bit.
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 