Humor: Sometimes, Paying Attention Can Get You Killed (Maybe)…

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

So, either quarters are the new pennies or I’ve uncovered a crime in progress. Or something. As I’m walking to the library today, I hear the sound of coins falling to the pavement and sure enough, two quarters come rolling my way. One veered to the left sharply, skipped up over a raised bit of pavement and stopped when it fell flat. The other one rolled straight towards me and I put out a foot to stop it as it rolled under my sneaker. I could feel that it was still standing on its edge when I put my foot down and for a quick second, thought of that episode of The Twilight Zone where Dick York gains the ability to read minds after he tosses a coin that lands on its side and stays there:

Of course, I snapped out of my black and white dreamland and looked up to see where that fifty cents came from. There was a man standing at a the block’s parking slip dispenser putting more coins in the machine, so he seemed to be the one who’d just lost that money. I lifted my foot and picked up the first quarter and then scooted over to retrieve the second before taking the dozen or so steps up to where he was standing. Holding out the coins, I got out a cheery “I think these are…” before a blunt “KEEP THEM” hit me on the head. Ouch? He didn’t even look at me, preferring to glare at the meter instead. As he placed a new quarter in the machine, I asked “Did you drop these?” and got a flat “Yes. Don’t need them.” back in response.

Hmmmm… this could get innnnteresting... Continue reading →

Hey, el Diablo de Culiacan? The Devil Is Indeed In The Details…

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

So… I’m in the library typing away yesterday when I look up and a DVD catches my eye. “Wait, someone made a Diablo III movie? ALREADY? No, that’s not even possible! OR right!” I think (plus a few other things) as I hop out of my seat and reach for the case. It turns out that I was right and it’s just probably one of the worst cases of trademark theft and sheer laziness in coming up with a logo I’ve ever seen.

This, ladies and gents is el Diablo de Culiacan a 2011 Mexican action film that I haven’t seen (but probably should just to get it over with) and based on the trailer below has absolutely, positively 100 percent NOTHING to do with Blizzard’s multimillion selling game series. Check it out:

(thanks, bandoretrito01!)

Uh huh. Well, um… it’s violent, at least… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: HIT MAN

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

While watching 1972’s HIT MAN on TCM last week and in between bouts of nearly falling off the couch laughing a few times at the unintentional comedy gold, it hit me that I’d see this film’s story elsewhere. Granted, you get what you pay for with most “blaxploitation” flicks in the form of a reworking of older (and often, superior) films, but there was something here under all the massive afros, copious nudity and violence that seemed pretty familiar.

That something happened to be Get Carter, the classic 1971 British gangster film from director Mike Hodges that was an early showcase for Michael Caine as well as a pretty darn great and mature killer of a movie. A year later, director George Armitage pretty much piled on the T&A, beefing up the sexy time and violence to racier American levels of shameless acceptability and the cast here does a pretty awesome job at making this one of those absolutely memorable (but yes, gloriously bad on so many levels) “B” flicks that’s going to have your head shaking and spinning simultaneously… Continue reading →

The Witcher Adventure Game? Oh, Yes.

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

Yep, there goes anything I’d call free time, folks. Coming sometime this year. I’ll have to see if CD Projekt RED will have this at this year’s Toy Fair, as I’ll be there looking at stuff to cover. If not, I’ll need to get a detective on the case to find out why. Let’s see now… where’s that Rolodex? Aha. Hmmm…(silly rhyme alert!) I’m feeling a little bit lazy today, so (*flip*)… let’s just see who’s under “A”? Okay, got one (and man, does he work cheap!):

ANY-way, click on below the jump for the press release. If the game is anything close to the source material or games, it’s going to be a tough call what to kill time with this year. Granted, both The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and this board game (which is also coming to iOS and Android devices) will find a home here, so no worries about me splitting my love for either in any directions… Continue reading →

Review: The Wolf Among Us (Episode One – Faith)

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

Platform: PC/Mac

Developer: Telltale Games

Publisher: Telltale Games

# of Players: 1

ESRB Rating: M (Mature)

Official Site

Score: A

Since my comics reading has dropped of considerably over the past decade plus, I’d not even heard of Vertigo’s Fables series (so shoot me, but not until I finish this review) until a few people in my circles started buzzing about this game and now that I’ve finally reached and competed the first chapter in my stupidly long backlog (it’s stretching into 2015 at this point, no thanks to irresistable Steam, Desura, gog.com and assorted cheap indie bundle sales), I want to go read everything I’ve missed out on. Well, that or get this time travel stuff sorted out so I can play at my leisure and post reviews before games even come out.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah . Once again, Telltale Games swings for the fences and knocks it out of the park with an adventure game fans will be more than pleased with and those new to the experience will groove on for its great, funny and mature plot, excellent visuals and gameplay that combines text-based and quick time sequences almost seamlessly. Even if you don’t like comics for any reason, The Wolf Among Us and its blend of film noir styling in a fantasy New York City populated by humans and fairytale characters is a hard pull to ignore…
Continue reading →

DAYLIGHT Update: The Horror Game That Makes You Lose Your Pants (For A Few Reasons)…

Posted on January 7, 2014 by geelw

Mine were scared off a little and if this trailer is any indication, some of you out where will also be scared out of, jump out of or simply pee your own pants (or worse) when playing this PC and PlayStation 4 exclusive upcoming horror fest with the randomly generated maps. Expect THRILLS! at every turn when something jumps at you from the shadows! Feel those CHILLS! as yous spine tightens then freezes as you’re too afraid to… Take. Another. Step! And prepare for SPILLS! when your poor bladder decides it’s constantly had enough of your foolish attempts to not be afraid and tells your brain it will keep peeing until your kidneys spit up sand! Ouch. Okay, perhaps this one isn’t THAT scary or painful at all, but I think the fine folks at Atlus have a nifty little sleeper on the way thanks to veteran developer Zombie Studios and Epic’s Unreal 4 engine.

That procedural level generation should keep the game replayable for some time in the vein of familiar rogue-like role playing games and more recently, Ubisoft’s excellently frightening ZombiU on the Wii U, making this a must-play game for horror game fans. That said, I so, SO want Zombie to include a very special Easter Egg in here in the form of a ONE ROOM level where it’s just you starting out in one corner and a quick run to the exit to conclude the stage… before it drops you into a second smaller room with you and a thing that’s about to eat your face right in front of you. Yeah, pants will be jumped out of, scared off, peed and pooped on all at the same time. That would make those now tired and CHEESY and many obviously faked for view clicks “Oooh, lookit me, I’m scared playing this SCARY new game!” videos have some actual meaning for sure. Of course, some of you are wondering if this will get the sales of adult diapers booming if indeed the game is THAT scary.. to which I offer a snazzy “Well,… that Depends!”

As usual, I win again!

DAYLIGHT will be popping up shortly… Keep and eye peeled over your shoulder for more updates…

RoboCop TV Spot #1: There’s A New Sheriff In Town (Metal Suit Version…)

Posted on January 7, 2014 by geelw

So, here they come. The first of many TV spots for this upcoming remake. Is it me or are people THAT jaded now that this otherwise fine-looking remake/reboot might not be as big as some on the internet are saying? Eh, not that I pay much mind to what others say on the Internet, mind you. I’m just worried that our new “wait it out” culture will wait it out for the first big early review that merely mentions a flaw, cross their collective arms with a mighty “SEE!,I told you it would suck!” and then go torrent the video off some pirate site only to discover it’s not the train wreck they thought. Of course, trying to get those people to pay for anything entertainment wise is a tough haul, but Hollywood loves to keep trying. Me, I think the film will do just fine when it hits a multiplex near you next month.

Of course, I still CAN’T see any darn movies at all around here now that the two closest movie houses are DEAD. Boo. What kind of crap area is this now? We USED to have five theaters in walking distance not so long ago. My “local” theater is now something like four or five miles away at least. Probably more, as I haven’t checked around for a replacement theater in a while. Eh, small world problem considering REAL issues facing too many these days, right? But hey, little things (like a decent cinema) DO mean a lot to some folks…

Misty Non-Mountain Brain Hopping (Winter Version)…

Posted on January 7, 2014 by geelw

“What is that?” you ask? Well, that a look outside my window at about 4am or so Monday morning. It was so foggy and misty out that I wanted to snap a picture just for reference. I got this mess instead. So I tried again a few times and pretty much got the same result. Yeah, it’s not art or good photography, but what can I say? I was about to go to sleep and pop up less than two hours later to hit the laundry and get it over with before the cold snap hit. The weather has been getting pretty unusual over the past few years, but I can’t recall so many extremes in such a short time around here.

It was 75 degrees about a week or so ago and in the space of 24 hours here, the drop from the low 50’s to below zero is making news (and news reporters stupid). Granted, this stuff does happen in many places, but usually when it gets cold like this it stays like this for the better part of a week. As it stands, the snap here is just that, as temperatures are zipping up to about 40 in a day or so (it’s a regular heatwave!) and as usual, people are going into winter shopping panic mode, stocking up on things they stocked up on already as a form of exercise and protective paranoia.

Granted, I’d prefer if some of those running around doing the headless chicken stayed the hell home and stopped coughing and sneezing around me and at least some of them would remember to bathe more regularly (seriously, there’s nothing like the scent of the great unwashed as you’re sitting in a public spot trying to write only to be distracted by a punch in the nose from a smelly person in smellier clothing who’s NOT homeless, mind you). But what can you do but hold your breath and perhaps raise and eyebrow in the general direction of someone offending. There’s no thrill quite like telling a total stranger to cover his nose and mouth as you’re covering your own from the germs and odor wafting your way. Yuck.

Random Film of the Week: Theatre of Blood

Posted on January 6, 2014 by geelw

I can recall as a kid really, really wanting to see a third Dr. Phibes movie after enjoying the first two back in the day and being nicely surprised that Theater of Blood is basically Vincent Price back as a similarly maligned character with a lovely female assistant (Diana Rigg) bumping off in some rather offbeat manners those that did him wrong. Granted, Price here plays the wronged Shakspeare quoting actor Edward Kendall Sheridan Lionheart as less determinedly psychotic than Phibes and more of someone who’s otherwise a likable man bullied by his critics to the point he decides to clean up the gene pool a bit.

But beggars can’t be choosers at all, and Douglas Hickox’ great, campy as all get out plus tax film packs in some nice 1970’s blood and chills in about an hour and forty five minutes of running time. Although it’s nowhere as gory as straight up slasher films that would pop onto screens less than ten years later, some of the kills here win awards for creativity and sheer ACME-style setup and payoff moments… Continue reading →

Keeping Casualties To A Minimum Next Black Friday May Become A “Thing” If This Takes Off…

Posted on January 6, 2014 by geelw

Yikes. While I’m NOT a mall person at all and generally dislike large crowds, I’d never, ever consider suicide as an option to too much mall trawling. Sadly, some poor guy in Jiangsu Province (in Eastern China) decided to end it all after five hours with his girlfriend this past Christmas, leaping from a balcony after she wanted to go to one more shop. Wow. Now, the kind of amusing thing here is this seems to be such a huge problem in China (men hating to shop with their wives and/or girlfriends, not men throwing themselves off balconies when they do too much shopping with their wives and/or girlfriends) that some areas actually have what amount to “husband check-in” stations that keep the king of beasts there pacified and sane, although probably still worrying about their bank balances after all that purchasing power happening below.

I think we should have these sorts of things here as well, but it seems that Hollywood already thought of that little problem way back in 1932, as you can see above in that fun old MGM short. Then again, maybe over-shopping was a bad thing for Depression-era America, but these days, man and women alike will run over each other just to spend five hours or more snapping up two dollar toasters and half-price sweat socks. Perhaps there can be both ladies and mens check-in areas just so staggered shopping becomes a new habit people pick up. Heck, they’ll certainly be staggering after a few free glasses of watered-down booze. Still, I’d be fully into some of this pre-Hays Code era relaxation if this were actually existing today at a retail paradise near me. Heck, the floor show would even get me out for a stroll even if I was already well stocked with tomatoes and peaches…