Review: Paper Sorcerer

PaperSorcerorPlatform: PC/MAC

Developer: Ultra Runaway Games

Publisher: Ultra Runaway Games

# of Players: 1

ESRB Rating: N/A

Official Site

Score: A- (90%)

Five bucks used to not buy so much as far as games went until the indie scene exploded and small developers started churning out way too many games either as free labors of love or inexpensive alternatives to big dollar major label releases. Paper Sorcerer is one of those cool budget-priced games that comes recommended because you’re getting a lot of game for that fiver and fans of classic computer RPG adventures as well as anyone looking for something a wee bit familiar yet a wee bit different will probably find plenty to love here. The striking black and white art style may be the bigger draw than the intriguing story to a few of you out there, but there are some nice plot twists and the ending is a total hoot. A few kinks in the armor keep this one from perfection, but with some player input the game is going through a few updates now that it’s been voted into the Steam Greenlight program… Continue reading

Stupid Weather Makes Me Not So Smart At Continuity…

 
Ugh. So, a few days ago we got a nice snowfall and today we got temperatures up a bit and a nasty rain for a good part of the day. Of course, it wasn’t enough to melt the snow and it was slippery and gray and suicidal walking weather the rest of the day. Looking outside now, the sky is an awful yellowy gray and the forecast has temperatures dropping way past freezing (as in close to zero or so in some areas). Which means ALL that yucky gray slush will turn to super slippery and super lumpy ice to skate and dance on badly by Tuesday. Wonderful. If I don’t break my head or bust my ass on the way to the library this week, I may post some fun stuff.

The ONLY good thing is I don’t have to worry about freezing my behind or other parts off because I know THE secret to not being cold when it’s very cold out. NO it’s not booze. Booze makes you drunk and colder and dead if you’re tipsy and slipsy on the icy pavement and fallsy on your head or slidesy under a moving bus skidding towards the bus stop sideways on the bumpy, lumpy ice that was slush and a few days before that, snow… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: THE HAND

THE HAND_MPFor the record, I hated THE HAND when I first saw it and don’t like it much more today. Not because it’s not scary at all (its one or two jump scare moments and the nutty ending work for me), and not because Michael Caine isn’t “givin’ it ‘is awl” (heh) as a strip cartoonist who loses his drawing hand in a freak accident, gets a prosthetic replacement and soon has a bit of a psychological breakdown afterwards that involves a few dips into murder. Nope, Caine is fine and creepy here as Jon Lansdale and in fact, the other actors do a mostly fine job with Stone’s script (based on the Marc Brandel novel “The Lizard’s Tail”).

My big beef with the movie is how very, very little of Barry Smith’s outstanding comic art (created specifically for the film, mind you) is seen once the main credits have finished rolling. It’s a shame because the films isn’t quite the horror film it needs to be despite trying very hard to bridge the gap between low budget indie and major studio first effort (it was Stone’s first time behind the camera on a feature film). Granted, this isn’t supposed to be a Smith biopic or anything like that and I eventually saw a chunk of the art in an interview Smith did around when the film was released or so (and it’s some beautiful work). But for all the story’s emphasis on Lansdale’s Mandro character being so important (hell, no hand, bro means NO Mandro!), we never see that much of the artwork up close or find out much about Mandro other than the art looks like Marvel’s Conan the Barbarian when Smith’s art really matured near the end of his run on the book… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end): LIFEFORCE

LIFEFORCE_MPIf you were a big sci-fi flick fan around in 1985 and of a certain age, you probably went and saw LIFEFORCE for one of two reasons. You were either a horny guy or gal looking for cheap thrills or you were the girlfriend, husband or wife of that horny guy or gal elbowing your man/woman in the ribs and hissing at him every time Mathilda May appeared on screen, naked as a jaybird or not. Of course, there were most likely couples who saw this and grinned together at her wondrous curves, but let’s not turn this into a more saucy post than it’s intended to be.

Granted, at least a jaybird had feathers and it’s a damn good thing women back in that era weren’t overly obsessed with strategic downstairs depilatory action or this film might not have been as fun to watch as there would need to be some even more strategic editing than what’s here. Based on Colin Wilson’s 1976 novel, The Space Vampires with a screenplay by Dan O’Bannon, directed by Tobe Hooper and chock full of some wild practical effects,lots of blood and some gore, scenery chewing performances from most of the cast and an ending that’s still a bit baffling on a few fronts, this is one of those films that you’ll either love outright for its craziness or hate because after all is said and done, it doesn’t do anything grand with its space vampires at all other than show off how nude they are… Continue reading

Happy Perihelion! Go Out And Get Some Sun Today (It’s A Lot Closer!)…

(Thanks, ClassicMovieTrailers!) 

Okay, so it’s not actually THAT hot out today, but yes, today is that day where the sun and earth are closest, which may not be any comfort at all to those of us who dislike the freezing weather and wish that closer hit star would do some rapid melting of what’s on the ground while super-heating the air around so it’s… well, just like that silly film clip above. Hey, silly – actual science doesn’t work that way and besides, things are already disrupted here enough (hotter, stranger summers and colder, stranger winters have been a thing for a while now). Oh, I know Perihelion isn’t a “day” to be celebrated like a traditional holiday – it’s just a term at the end of the day. So don’t go zipping into that big box party store looking for decorations any time soon.

You can however, get a fine start on next year’s Perihelion by going out and getting a few dozen boxes of glow in the dark stars of assorted sizes and a current map of the solar system and make a heroic attempt to recreate what’s on that map on your walls and ceilings. Er,I hope you live in a REALLY big house and don’t mind guests wondering who decorated your entire place like it was a planetarium gift shop. Or you could just do what everyone else here in the US does and wait until Aphelion (which is around July 4th) and get a free fireworks show as a backdrop for that non-holiday. One of those is a lot less maddening to accomplish (in most cases)…

It’s Friday Night! Time To Get Dancing, People!

Well, you’re still here and I’m still busy. Hmmm… what to do, what to do? Ah, this should keep you entertained for a hot minute (take it away, Gene!):

Now, THAT’S what I call ACTUAL reality TV, folks! I do miss the late, great Chuck Barris and all his bizarrely awesome programming that more or less changed the landscape of entertainment telly as we know it (yeah, for better and worse). Yeah, I know loads of substances were involved in the making of these shows back then, but there’s a certain insane purity to this stuff that’s FAR more honest than anything claiming to be “real” on TV today. Go dig up some old clips of the man’s huge body of work and see for yourself, I say…

How My Brain Works (Sometimes): Wie sauber schnee von den Stiefeln (mit musikalischer Begleitung)

So, it snowed a lot last night and part of this morning in a few too many places. Yeah, winter sucks. Anyway, as I was going outside into the stupidly cold air and saw that deeper than it looked but already mostly shoveled snowy white world, some guy comes into the building and starts stomping his feet, one at a time in a beat that made me chuckle because I watch too many movies and retain certain scenes in my head for future use. Why I do this I have zero idea, but I think it’s because it makes me laugh a lot when I see scenes from real life that remind me of made up movie bits.

Anyway, this is probably the ONLY proper comedic use of this interesting musical clip from The Battle of the Bulge. Toss in some crappy bing-translated German above (it’s supposed to say “How to clean snow from your boots (with musical accompaniment)”, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) and ta-da! That’s how the magic happens around here. Yeah, magic. “Hey, Rocky? Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”
:

  (Thanks, GunOfNeverone!) 

Or maybe I just need another cup of coffee. I think I only got about five or so hours of sleep between last night and this morning. Anyway, stay warm and stay the heck inside if you don’t need to be out in this mess. The things I do for you folks…

Bundle Stars Wants You To Win BIG (As In $500 Worth of Steam Games BIG)…

store-giveaway 

Wow. Simple entry procedure? CHECK, super prize for ten lucky winners? CHECK. All you need is a PC with enough hard drive space and the appropriate OS and 3D card and you’re good to go. Even if you don’t win a darn thing, you’ll now have a new site to ogle when you’re looking for great game deals where some of the proceeds go to charity. This bundle stuff seems to be the way things are going for many to snap up games of all types at great prices, so get used to it, folks. And if you DO win because you found out about this contest here, remember to put me in your will or something. Or even better, enjoy all those games and say goodbye to being bored for quite some time! And if you’re not a gamer, just pass this post along to someone who is and watch them do something resembling a back flip. Um, if they don’t stick that landing, it’s not my fault… but at least they tried, right?

I Might Not Make Any Resolutions This Year, But Some Of YOU Need To…

The Seat MonopolizerYeah, you know who you are, you too many seats taken on public transit, loud music blastin’ and/or cellphone talkin’, toe-pickin’, generally nasty to see in public types who think everywhere is perfect for your personal palace needs. You kings and queens of disgusting behavior are so bad that Miss Manners would throw you over her knee and spank you. But yes, she’s too darn nice for that (although I do believe she may change her mind on a few fronts this year).

You folks with the icky habits need to clean up your act this year, but at home and not out in public where you can make people want to toss their cookies at you. There are a few other people who can take that same train to Politeville, as it Just. So. Happens to make an scheduled stop in the village of Common Sense. Read on for two more types of fellow travelers who need a nice vacation and some proper reeducation about living in the modern age… Continue reading

Okay, CUPHEAD Is On My Game of the Year List (And It’s Not Even Done Yet)…

cuphead-idleI was in an odd mood today until I saw these two videos and now, I’m grinning like a squirrel that’s come across a crashed semi full of mixed nuts. CUPHEAD is a (currently) PC-only side-scrolling platformer from Studio MDHR with, well YES,a main character with a darn teacup for a head. Yeah, that was enough to get me grinning, but those gameplay teasers actually got me to laugh out loud because this is one of those oddball mash-ups that some developers have tried before with mixed results, but haven’t quite nailed.

CH_surpriseIf everything comes together and this delivers what its promising, I’m betting platformer fans make a beeline for this game on anything it eventually pops up on. That said, I don’t expect any actual cartoon or ton of licensed goodies to start dropping from the heavens at all (as I’d rather see any profits go into making more and better games in the future), but I think this dev team is off the a fine start. Keep and eye on this one, I say…