Choosing “Sadistic Torment, Elaborate Death, or Humiliating Demise” as a way to go may not be everyone’s cup of tea. But meet up with the deadly Laegrinna, and you’ve got no choice that to eat up what’s served your way. Deception IV: The Nightmare Princess is out NOW for the PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4 and PlayStation Vita and it’s also gotten added to that long, long (LONG) list of games I need to play at some point. I missed out on Deception IV entirely last year, But as this new installment contains not only that game’s content, but a (not so) nice new character’s story included that adds to the fun at no additional cost. Well, perhaps your LIFE (cue dramatic music). Given the Deception series’ reliance on a mixture of semi-serious dark thematic elements, goofy slapstick violence with a bit of blood spilled and plenty of replay value, this one looks like a sleeper that will keep you up all night.
Just keep your sweaty hands where Laegrinna and new character Velguirie can see them. You’re already doomed to suffer in pain forever once they trap you, so there’s no need to add a big tip to your running tab.
Okay, I’ll admit to being a bit behind in my beating quota. In other words, I still have yet to play Deception IV: Blood Ties on anything it’s been released on. As time, tide and games wait for no man, Tecmo Koei has made it known that there’s a follow-up coming in July for the PS3, PS4 and Vita called Deception IV: The Nightmare Princess. Fans of this long-running series which began on the original Playstation should be dancing around for joy while trying to avoid assorted traps and hazards in their own environments. For the uninitiated, here’s a live-action trailer with a tiny bit of the sinister yet intentionally silly gameplay at the end:
Now if only actual burglar alarms worked this efficiently. Although I’d bet the setup and resetting costs would be a wee bit costly.
The fun is back, oh sweet revenge!
Your victims will soon feel
Humiliation and then death
From a banana peel!
Oh, yeah, I’m on a roll now, kids. Well, perhaps not. I wasn’t planning on writing a crappy poem today, but it just popped out when I saw that screen with the gal slipping on the banana peel. Yep, the deception series is back in a big way, goofy humor and bloody demises and all. Deception IV: Blood Ties slides into retail and onto PSN for the PS3 and Vita on March 25, 2014.
About fifteen years ago, Tecmo’s Deception became a cult classic on the original PlayStation and eventually spawned three sort of sequels (two on the PlayStation and one on the PlayStation 2). Eight years after the last game, Tecmo Koei is bringing the action/strategy (and formerly RPG at least for the first game) series back with Deception IV: Blood Ties, headed for the Vita and PS3 on March 25 (March 28 in Europe). This new game adds more playable characters and thematically, seems to go back to the first game’s more demonic themes. Granted, while the developers allow you to have fun creating and using traps to kill of a wide range of poor saps, there’s a very good bet that the series tradition of making you feel lousy for dispatching some of the people trying to hunt you down. On the other hand, the focus shift from somewhat timid and reluctant leads forced to do bad things seems to have changed to the “Bad Girls Go To Hell” version of Deception, so we’ll see how players take this shift. If anything, the grim humor the game is also know for will be intact (some of the kills here are pretty darn silly). We’ll see where this goes, but color me intrigued…
So… I’m in the library typing away yesterday when I look up and a DVD catches my eye. “Wait, someone made a Diablo III movie? ALREADY? No, that’s not even possible! OR right!” I think (plus a few other things) as I hop out of my seat and reach for the case. It turns out that I was right and it’s just probably one of the worst cases of trademark theft and sheer laziness in coming up with a logo I’ve ever seen.
This, ladies and gents is el Diablo de Culiacan a 2011 Mexican action film that I haven’t seen (but probably should just to get it over with) and based on the trailer below has absolutely, positively 100 percent NOTHING to do with Blizzard’s multimillion selling game series. Check it out:
File this under “Now, I’ve REALLY seen Everything!”: OK, so it’s NOT Hell Paris again, but hell… someone made a piano that plays DOOM. Yeah, I want one now (and am kicking myself that I gave up on lessons as a kid), but I’ll need to steal a cargo plane, hire some some assistants and fly all the way to London’s Virgin Media Game Space in order to get this one of a kind hybrid machine/instrument. Of course, I’ll get arrested, tried and convicted and need to serve some hard time (boo, but I want to keep the film rights!), but at least I’ll have a story to tell at parties after I get out that will top the usual “I saw so-and-so coming out of a Starbucks drunk!” stuff you hear all the time, right? Hmmm… I wonder if Carmack, Romero or even Bethesda will ask for one of these to be made for them at some point. Hey, I say if anything, you can buy off that devil with a gift he’ll really flip over! You DO know he plays EVERY instrument, right? I got him a harmonica last year and he’s quite the expert at it!
While it’s incredibly easy to get a job in Hell (they’ve got a 100% employment rate there), you’d probably want to seek out a higher level position as opposed to being trapped in the usual entry level position for eternity. Granted, EVERYONE starts out as entry level there, but it’s the true go-getters that actually make their way up the corporate ladder. All you have to do is ask your supervisor about how he or she got his or her gig and they’ll probably NOT tell you anything at all, whip you some more (or send you to the lava wash… you really don’t want to work there, trust me) or flat out lie about it.
Perseverance pays off handsomely (as does pushing your old supervisor off something high onto something hard and flat, hot and bubbly or really pointy – bonus points for all three at once) and you’ll soon find yourself yelling and punishing with the best of them…
OK, I do need to catch upon a TON of stuff I’ve missed out on over the past few weeks, but I may as well drop in another random piece or three from the gallery for fun. These are from a “series” of fake vacation photos from a trip to hell, which looks just like here, but with more heat and different neon signs. I can’t say if it’s any more miserable a place than the “real” world, as both have good and bad points.
For one thing, despite what some tavern signs say (hey, lies are everywhere down there!)… they don’t serve beer in hell, but the food is always hot and cheap. Yes, that includes the ice cream, which is weird… but tasty and somehow holds that familiar shape when it’s scooped and put on a hot off the stack waffle cone. Yum-o(uch)!
Oh, I just KNOW you’re curious now. Don’t worry, though… you’ll find out soon enough. I went and got you a free ticket while I was there. The place is ALWAYS open and yep, they just love visitors. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop on the way back up. Everything is free and they’ll even gift wrap as much as you can carry. Just avoid the Sisyphus Rock replica, as it’s actual size, but to a mortal, only feels as heavy as an average-sized grapefruit in the underworld. However, it turns into a REAL 500-plus pound boulder when it leaves the basement level. if you can roll it home afterwards, it DOES make a great gag gift for a friend or enemy…
At some point during your lifespan, you’ve probably (OK, most likely) stayed out late and gotten a bit too full of legal adult beverages to the point that the mere act of walking home becomes a challenging task. As in staying vertical is quite hard because the gravitational pull of concrete doubles per pint consumed. That and/or you just so happened to make the amateur mistake of over-beveraging at a tavern much further than you can stagger and crawl back to that warm bed you left when the sun was happily shining in the sky.
Anyway, at a certain hour when the local transportation system goes from reliable to pumpkin coach with rotted wheels and a dead horse, the night takes a really strange turn. Sure you COULD do the stupid tourist or out of towner thing and take a taxi to your humble abode, but any decent New York tippler KNOWS that’s just MORE money for food and booze the next time you’re out (or that hangover breakfast later that afternoon) you’re throwing away. Besides, that cabbie will circle you to Jersey and through Staten Island (or vice versa) before winding up with the entire contents of your wallet because you’ll be too blasted to know the difference. Or you’ll simply lose your money in that dark cab between the seat cushions when you finally get to your place. Cabbies know this (it’s why they’re always smiling on the weekends, sucker)… Continue reading →