Humor: While I Go (Back) To Hell, You Can Watch A Movie…

DIII Realm of TerrorOkay, I’ve been obsessed with Diablo III on the PlayStation 3 for the past few months on and off. Why? two words: HELLFIRE RING. As I’m NOT cheating or playing online with cheaters who provide hacked gear to anyone who asks, I’ve been chipping away at the game’s Inferno mode, going past the level cap of 60 and into Paragon territory, where I’m currently at Level 15 (of 100 total Paragon levels). Now, I’ve gotten to Whimsyshire already (there’s NO “Cow Level” in DIII, but you do meet the Cow King once you create the Staff of Herding), but the big deal for me has been trying to craft a Hellfire Ring. Well, a few Hellfire Rings, but the first one is the hardest. Pull up a chair and grab a drink, as this is going to get all game-y and technical.

Anyone else, you can watch a free movie instead while I bend the ear of those who stayed behind with some caffeine.

(thanks, vintagemoviearchive!) 

Hmmm… let’s see now. Ah. THIS should do nicely – who doesn’t love some vintage Vincent Price? Oh, you don’t? Well then… step right this way and stand here while I throw this lever. A little to your left, please? Good. Oh, wait. Here’s a pillow. Consider it a parting gift. You may want to stuff it down the back of your pants, though…

(throws lever, trap door opens)

So long, now!

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Mr. Hoskins Checks Out…

(thanks, FilmsActuTrailers!) 

I’ll do a proper RFToW for Who Framed Roger Rabbit? this coming weekend, but here’s a clip to remind me (and you, and you and you and you!) of how the late Bob Hoskins nailed it but good in playing his cheap detective so well against all those ping pong balls on sticks and other stuff on set, probably wondering what the hell he was doing while hoping the animators and tech folks could make the movie work. They did and it’s a classic for the ages.

 
I’d also recommend Hoskins in Mona Lisa, The Long Good Friday, and Hook for starters. Anyway, I think I’ll have a drink later as a toast to one more great actor lost to time…

DAYLIGHT Launch Trailer: Might As Well Jump. Quite A Few (OK, A Lot Of) Times…

 
So, DAYLIGHT is here for your PC or PlayStation 4 from Atlus and developer Zombie Studios, but you should play it in the dark for best results. Granted, this short, scary as hell romp through a few creepy locations isn’t the deepest game on the planet, but it delivers the scares thanks to maps that are procedurally generated, meaning it’s a new experience each time you dive in. Now, I’m not a fan of the whole Slenderman thing (it’s so laaaaaaaaame and not a scary myth at all to me!), but this more ghostly take on that fad works better on a few fronts while delivering the jump scares horror fans crave. It’s too bad this wasn’t also made for the Vita, as I’d be playing it now and jumping out of a seat somewhere in public squealing like a bag of hungry mice. Eeeeeek!

You’ll Never Be As Loud As Godzilla, But Knock Yourself Out Anyway…

 
Nope. Not gonna happen, people. You try to join this over-sized hog calling contest and all you’ll get is a very bad sore throat, trust me. Of course, you’ll want to prove me wrong, but I’ll be right and talking about you while you’ll be home with a raw throat sucking down a bottle of honey with your nice chicken soup. Yeah, one of those cute bear bottles – whatever makes you happy. Anyway, I say let the monster itself do what it does best (well ONE of the things it does best) and stay the heck out of his way:

 
There, THAT’S more like it. May 16th is stomping up soon, isn’t it? Yes it is!

Game of Thrones S4 4 & 5: What Came Before, What’s Coming Next (And What’s In Between…)

It’s almost as if HBO wants to get you all spoiled if you’re not yet caught up on the show, so beware from this point onward:

 
I’d been thinking on and off about restarting my reading of the books (I didn’t get far into them years back thanks to too much to do and not enough time to read as much as I’d have liked), but I think I prefer waiting until the show is over and done with as I like where the arc is going. Granted, the White Walker reveal (see that episode for details!) might be a bit much in this extremely busy season.

 
Natalie Dormer looks like a cat. That is all I’ll say about that. Anyway, I think her character actually thought she was going to be the Queen and although it looks as if she’ll get a second shot at it, I say it’s not happening anytime soon unless Cersi is gone and not coming back. Of course, I’d say Cersi is too necessary to get killed off this season, but that’s a huge laugh if you think about it, Right George?

 
Oh, never mind. He’s still going on about that Purple Wedding incident, so I’ll let him talk. Hey, I bet anyone who tries to interrupt Mr. Martin ends up in a box at some point. Or just silenced for long enough that he gets his point across. Don’t mess withe author when he’s holding court or you may end up losing your head once he does…

 
And finally, here’s what’s coming next Sunday. I tend to only watch these teasers only once (after each episode) and try my best to forget about them afterwards. Why? As noted a few times, I prefer going in cold and having as few things spoiled as possible. That and I despise guessing which scene goes where and editing in trailers always makes it look as if stuff is happening that doesn’t (or won’t for a bit). Anyway, you know the drill – see you next Sunday, “same Bat time, Same Bat channel…”

Orphan Black Recap: Donnie Dumb Co. Is Going To Get It For Sure…

 
Spoilers galore! Or more like just a handful (if one is a “handful”, that means you have small hands). I was plenty ticked off at the end of last season when Donnie was revealed as Alison’s minder after all, so it’s great to see him getting his comeuppance slowly but surely starting in Episode 2 on Saturday and him not seeing it starting up. Hopefully, he’ll get what’s coming to him sooner than later, but we’ll see what happens as this season twists and turns. Well, next week’s show looks even more interesting, so you know where to find me next Saturday night…

Lazy or Late? Here’s What’s Up On Game of Thrones…

 
Uh-huh. I’ve heard all the excuses, people. You KNOW you have time to catch up because you can dump most or all of those crap “reality” shows that are ALL the same and actually be entertained by real writing and people getting paid to act well (as opposed to real fake writing and people acting badly wasting your time).

 
Anyway, it’s not as if Game of Thrones needs more fans watching the show on Sunday instead of waiting to binge away, but it couldn’t hurt if it gets even more people camping out for an hour just to get another season extension so we can see more of what’s inside the heads of George R. R. Martin’s head (as well as the folks who script the show once they commiserate with the man himself).

On the other hand, now that Sunday has become the new Thursday (remember when THAT was the big TV night?), it’s mighty tough to choose what to watch if you’re not a crazed DVR-head packing every free hour with all the stuff you want to watch…

The Only Problem With Dark Souls II On PC Is The Usual One For Any Hard Game…

 
I’m sure FromSoftware knows this already, but with Dark Souls and now Dark Souls II, they’ve gone and made a game that’s too hard for those “gamers” who can’t deal with the level of challenge, so yes indeed, hackers and cheaters will be rampant. Granted, once you buy a game you’re more or less free to do with it what you desire, but what’s the point in playing a game that’s supposed to be difficult if you hack up the ability to one-shot anything that comes at you, maybe survive a fall that’s SUPPOSED to kill you (to teach you a lesson in paying attention to the environment) and so forth and so on? I don’t mind messing with a game after I’ve completed it a few times (as I’ve played Diablo II offline solo with a bunch of crazy mods that made my characters invincible killing machines or I’ve changed up the gameplay in that gem to make it much more challenging). But I just don’t get the automatic urge to cheat one’s way through a game and claim “victory” when no actual hard work was done outside of dinking around with the game code to make it work in a way it wasn’t intended to.

Ah well, it’s not my problem, so I’ll just let it rest. Still, I’d love to see a developer cook up a game that can’t easily be cracked apart or at the very least, identifies cheaters with a nice big flashing neon sign so people who want to play legit can do so in peace. Of course, cheating is rampant in many console games as well, but in some cases, those people can be easier to avoid if one decides to stay the heck offline or just play with people you know where applicable…

Oops. One Tiny Mistake There, TCM. Otherwise, Both Thumbs Up!

 
While it’s wonderful to see William Friedkin’s 1977 film SORCERER getting some much needed love at TCM’s yearly film festival (held this year at the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood), I’ll admit to my eyebrow shooting up at the word “The” in that video title.

(thanks again, robatsea2009!) 

Eek. Yeah, it’s a minor mistake that can easily be corrected with a few keystrokes, but I’d never heard of “the City Lights” “The Ben Hur”, “The Frankenstein”, or “The King Kong” in my film studies. So that sort of thing is a bit pesky to me. Anyway, perhaps the person who posted this video was thinking of the film Friedkin’s is based off of, Henri-Georges Clouzot’s brilliant 1953 action/drama The Wages of Fear. Hmmm… now I want to see both films pop up on TCM soon. Or even better, FINALLY see Friedkin’s film make a decent Blu-Ray appearance, as it’s one that’s LONG due.

Doubling Your Fun With An Orphan Black FX Spoiler…

 
Well, it’s not MUCH of a spoiler, as I knew they used a double for Tatiana Maslany when she’s interacting with another clone. Still, I tend to avoid immersion-busting stuff like this because I tend to end up sitting there blocking out shots and figuring out angles needed to make it all see so real instead of enjoying the ride I’m supposed to be on. Anyway, just in case you’re one of those folks who thinks TV shows are “magic”, here’s proof positive they’re not. Besides, this won’t stop you from watching Orphan Black on Saturdays anyway, right? I thought so…