Tactical Bacon? Oh-kaaaay. But Here’s What’s Really Good About This Can O’ Worms…

Tactical Bacon So, this exists and it made me laugh like hell because I know bacon maniacs will snap this up and load it into their man caves and woman holes (I guess that’s what you call a lady’s den of digital sin), survivalist storage and *yawn* overpriced “anti-zombie” apocalypse kits. Here’s the thing, folks: this product and a few others may actually be a way to clean out the gene pool if there’s such a thing as a survivable disaster scenario.

How? Well, as long as we normal folks hold out as best we can, the folks who stocked up on canned smoked cooked bacon will start to die off from heart attacks (you can’t just eat ONE strip of bacon!) or fight to the death over that last can of salty porky awesomeness. As long as there’s water to last and you’re off the streets during the riot hours, at some point in the not too distant future, the gunfire will cease, the scent of canned bacon will dissipate and once the grass starts to grow greener, the rest of us can step outside and over the bones of what remains of the human race after the Great Bacon War.

Tactical Bacon IIOr something like that. Get your own can(s) of Tactical Bacon if you want to HERE or Amazon, some fine sporting goods shops and other reasonably unusual emporiums where you’d think something kooky like this would be sold. My heart seized up twice just writing this post, so I can’t even look at bacon anymore these days… *sob*