Call of the Westeros Meets Classic Response Time

Posted on July 3, 2016 by geelw

So, this season of Game of Thrones ended with a bang. Well, a few bangs if you count the graceful exit one key character made via a nearby window. The internet being what it is, one still frame ended up as a hilarious image gamers who know Ubisoft’s hugely popular Assassin’s Creed series got a laugh over:

It took me all of thirty seconds for my brain to cook up goofball responses to that scene using classic film posters, but a little longer to swipe images I’ll link to to be fair to the folks who posted them first. Traffic is cool on one’s blog when it’s least expected, I always say. Okay, here we go (click on the posters to go to their respective sites):

I’ve never seen this flick before, but I’m now Judy Canova curious. I know I’ve seen HER before in something, but I’ve not a clue as to what.

Ooh, a new site to check out! Nice place you’ve got there, Steve! Haven’t seen this one in decades, but it’s probably as funny as I recall.

A not too shabby WWII war drama/romance flick with a fine cast doing their thing for the cause. Oscar-winning special effects here, but don’t go into this looking for CG perfection.

Finally, yeah… I may as well get Fox some love as well for the upcoming Assassin’s Creed movie. As with any game-based film, my eyebrow is up a lot on whether it can capture the game’s more interactive elements clearly. But I absolutely LOVE being proven wrong by movies based on videogame source material. Which means I’m still skeptical even with the casting choices made. We’ll get into that later. Just go enjoy the rest of this weekend for now.

Assassin’s Creed Trailer: A Killer at the Box Office Not So Silently Approaches

Posted on May 13, 2016 by geelw

So, I usually have no faith in videogame movie adaptations (okay, I’ve NEVER had any), particularly when certain fans roll in with the “It doesn’t look that bad!” commentary simply to defend their favorite franchise against any form of criticism. My own opinion on games to film is more of a rule: an interactive medium works BEST as interactive medium, PERIOD. Yes, non-gamers who want to see what the fuss is about can enjoy a game movie just fine. But the more hardcore fans who dislike games made into blockbusters for the simple reason that the films deviate from the source materials enough that it’s an almost completely different bird once all those feathers have been plucked. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, anyone? While a well-made film, it wasn’t at all what fans expected or wanted. I can name a bunch of others, but I’ll let you discuss that among yourselves.

Anyway, well… 20th Century Fox and Ubisoft may have changed my mind:

Other than the atrocious choice of a Kanye West song (Seriously? It doesn’t fit at ALL and in fact, something a great deal less modern would have made the trailer almost perfect), that trailer got me curious as to how the film will tackle the reality and virtual reality flipping done throughout the AC franchise. I did have a non-gamer friend ring me up and ask about the games and whether he needed to have played them to fully enjoy the film, whereupon I had to admit I hadn’t played an Assassin’s Creed game in a few years. Hey, I got bored with them after AC III, although I’ve been thinking about picking up the last couple after playing the Vita game (and the sole one with a female lead). So, thanks, Fox. You may get my grumpy butt in a theater seat after all. Continue reading →

Happy ALIEN Day! Go Get Scared or Win Some Stuff (Or Both)

Posted on April 26, 2016 by geelw

“Hey, baaaaaaby…. ‘sup?” Photo Credit: Desmond Mo

So yes, it’s officially ALIEN Day and if you’re a fan of the franchise with some time and a bit of disposable income on your hands, there are a few ways to get involved in the festivities today.

The Alien Anthology page on Twitter has a big deal contest where video questions about the film pop up like chestbursters and you can answer them for a chance to win some awesome ALIEN to Prometheus-themed merchandise from what’s looking like every company that makes officially licensed swag based on the series. Continue reading →

ALIEN Day is Coming: Is Your Brain Ready For Some Pointed Questions?

Posted on April 19, 2016 by geelw

It figures that what with there being a Star Wars Day that’s taken off into a yearly festival of fun for many, someone at Fox would have kicked out the idea of an ALIEN Day and some sort of all-day contest to go with that.

Well, here you go: Starting April 26, 2016 (4/26, a reference to planet LV 426, naturally), there will be 24 hours of all-ALIEN thrills for everyone from movie buffs to those new to the franchise (there’s always someone who’s NEVER seen an ALIEN flick!) who want to know what the fuss is all about.

Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products has announced an out-of-this-world global celebration of the ALIEN franchise culminating with a special 24 hour, fan-focused social media event on April 26th – a nod to LV-426, the planet from the iconic ALIEN films. ALIEN DAY (#AlienDay426) will encompass a wide range of executions including nationwide screenings, never-before-seen consumer product activations and the kickoff of the ALIEN: Ultimate Trivia Challenge, allowing fans to test their ALIEN knowledge – with the chance to win prizes every 42.6 minutes on Twitter (@AlienAnthology). Fans may register now for the contest at ALIEN Anthology and refer to “Official Rules” for additional details.

The funny thing is, while Star Wars Day is a super family-friendly time indeed, I can’t see this catching on with the younger set. Hell, I’m old enough to remember this toy-related debacle which I actually had one of (they were quite cheap a few months after release because no one seemed to be buying them as no kids were seeing ALIEN in theaters thanks to the “R” rating and the culture being a lot different back then). It ended up in my younger brother’s possession when I moved out and yep, I came back a few years later and he’d tossed the box, lost the head cover and pretty much killed off my dream of reselling the thing for a hefty profit. Ah well…

Anyway, I’d imagine NOT answering those trivia questions correctly would result in a Xenomorph knocking at your door to deliver the news you didn’t win a prize. Um, you probably don’t want to answer that knock unless you want to become that rotten egg no one wants for breakfast in the morning. Just a word of warning…

Aliens vs. Pinball: Ripley’s Back; She’s Got Balls Now

Posted on April 12, 2016 by geelw

As a longtime fan of Zen Pinball 2’s creative digital tables, I’m always surprised when I see a new board that tops what I thought was their best work. This brief teaser for the upcoming Aliens vs. Pinball: Aliens Pinball made me grin way too much (in a good way) because it looks as if it’ll be a fun skill shot paradise for silver ball fanatics.

And yes, that art above, logo to the left and screenshots below reveal the other two tables in the pack. Alien Isolation was a terrifying game in its own right, but I’m betting the pinball version will be somewhat less scary (but still a blast to play) just because Zen makes its tables for a wider age range. As for that AvP table? It should be a lot better than the films (sorry, Fox!) if it avoids them entirely and is closer to what the old Dark Horse comics were.

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As usual, we shall see soon enough. Aliens vs. Pinball will be out April 26, 2016 (ALIEN Day!) for PS4, PS3, Vita, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Steam, Windows 10, Mac, as well as in-app purchases for Zen Pinball and as a standalone app on iOS and Android devices.

Grin & Bear It: Five Tips on How to Survive The Revenant

Posted on January 8, 2016 by geelw

So, you’re planning to go see The Revenant this weekend, hmmmm? Well, if you’re not used to extended scenes of bear on man violence, the bear attack on Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) will put you under your seat or have you run screaming out of the theater because it’s quite possibly the most frighteningly realistic blending of CG and practical effects you’ve scene outside a horror movie.

Still, there’s a way to make it through the about 15 minutes of gorgeously rendered brutality (and the rest of the film’s violence is no pic-a-nic either) and come out no worse for the wear. Here are five tips to make it through (relatively unscathed): Continue reading →

The Martian Trailer 2: Get With The Space Program, Already

Posted on August 21, 2015 by geelw

The funny thing is, after I decided to recently zip through the book (it’s a great summer read, by the way) and took the longer range viewpoint I usually do, these trailers really don’t bug me at all. In a way, the filmmakers are a bit pushed and painted into the proverbial corner because being too vague means you get unfairly compared to Chris Nolan’s Interstellar (although that’s what’s been happening online anyway). On the other hand, anyone who didn’t like Prometheus and didn’t know Ridley Scott’s other, better sci-fi films might see either of the two trailers and say to themselves (or online to whomever is reading what they write) “Not THAT guy again!” or words to that effect. Rock, meet hard place. Of course, a film’s performance should be based on how well it does among those who actually see it as opposed to those who don’t and won’t that spend more time griping about it.

But so goes the modern world these days, I guess. The Martian is in theaters October 2, 2015. Go read the book at some point beforehand. Or afterwards.

Tripping The Blight Fantastic: Four, Right In The Cinematic Trash Heap

Posted on August 9, 2015 by geelw

I’d actually started this post around two months back, but put it aside to work on other things. It was going to be a really lengthy point-by-point peek at why the film deserved to flop out, but I decided to not be so negative until I maybe saw the final product. It’s a good thing I waited because after seeing the film, everything I thought about writing happened and the movie was even worse than my cynical ass expected. But I don’t blame director Josh Trank (Chronicle) all that much because it very well seems the studio had more to do with the film being such a train wreck.

In my opinion, Fox needs to sell back or hand those rights over to a studio that can actually do something constructive with the characters. Too many hands went into what looks like rushed re-shooting and sloppy editing so what should have been another reliable summer blockbuster for fans has turned into a must-see exercise for film students as to what NOT to do. Or a note to creative types with vision to stay far away from licensed properties and a studio system that demands souls and final cut in exchange for some sort of loyalty. While the film is far from unwatchable, it’s not worth the cost of a ticket at all and more suited to cable or network TV. Then again, on a channel with commercials, trying to make sense of the film will be a total nightmare unless scenes are added back in to help things out. Continue reading →

Random Art: Lost Weekend Or Future Gold Mine? It’s Your Move, Hollywood

Posted on July 20, 2015 by geelw

A few years back I was sitting in a diner listening to some folks at a nearby table debating some recent Hollywood remakes that were terrible (what else is new?) because they were basically updated version of the original films with more modern jokes. One of the guys at that table made the point that it would be better to remake a film that kept the title for familiarity but yanked the concept into new territory. A light bulb went off in my nosy little head and later at home I whipped up a poster idea for an old film I hated, Weekend at Bernie’s, re-imagining it as a dead serious zombie film of some sort with some of the same cast just to mess with the minds of those who recall it as a comedy.

For some reason, this idea keeps popping in and out of my head every few months or so. Recently, thanks to more remakes that don’t need to be made at all getting some funky not so fresh trailers (like this one. Seriously? WHY?) But I’m not about to suggest any budding to veteran screenwriter tackle this for real. Well, unless you’re willing to deal with those who somehow hold this stinker “sacred” lining up at your doorstep (or on some message boards) to take you to task for desecrating their nostalgic memories of this flick.

Anyway, that first piece above is my latest revision of the idea, the one below that has a font I like better, the third is an old piece I just added some lettering to and this link goes to my horrible-looking original poster concept. I even worked up a plot outline at that time, but it didn’t have much of an ending. Or a middle for that matter. Hey, I just come up with ideas, ladies and germs. Someone toss me a sack of money and yeah, I’ll come up with the rest of that movie in a heartbeat. Inspiration comes from the strangest of places. Like a sudden sack of money, for example.

The Martian Trailer: Reading Is Fundamental. The Internet is NOT.

Posted on July 18, 2015 by geelw

While this gorgeous trailer for Ridley Scott’s upcoming film based Andy Weir’s bestselling novel The Martian looks fantastic, it seems that there’s some internet outrage over the trailer spoiling the entire film by looking as if it plays out the entire plot in three minutes. It doesn’t. I haven’t even read the book yet but have talked to two people who have and as they’re they types who don’t go online and babble about what’s not in that trailer, I’m told that there’s a good deal you don’t see. Which makes perfect sense, mind you. Yes, movie trailers tend to be a bit too dumbed down in many cases and yes, there are films where you see pretty much everything you need to well before it hits theaters.

The “problem” with The Martian trailer is all that pent up anger about other film’s spoiler packed teases seems to have spilled over at just the wrong time. The easy way to avoid ANY spoilers to films you may be interested in is not to watch them, period. Of course, if you want NO spoilers at all, don’t even read the book the film is based on and go in cold as Mars after sunset. I bet you’ll enjoy the hell out of that film and want to go buy the book after you leave the theater. Also, stay OFF message boards and other sites where people waste time opining away based on their lack of information, unwillingness to learn any new information and tendency to argue to the death the most ill-informed and idiotic points easily quashed by actual facts. Your sanity will thank you kindly and you’ll be able to go about your day with less stress.

Case closed and you’re welcome.