Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Teaser Makes EVERYONE a Critic


Wow. Well, I generally hate over-hyped movies to no end, but the marketing team for Luc Besson’s gorgeous-looking upcoming adaptation of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is made up of some raise-deserving geniuses. Clearly realizing the director’s work tends to be polarizing to those who take it too seriously or go in with biases, they’ve decided to let anyone who comments on the trailer get their own personalized blurb version just for commenting on the teaser. This made me chuckle to no end and yes, I needed that laugh. If you need a similar laugh of your own, well here you go. Have at it and feel free to share that link when you get it.

Tripping The Blight Fantastic: Four, Right In The Cinematic Trash Heap

F4 MPI’d actually started this post around two months back, but put it aside to work on other things. It was going to be a really lengthy point-by-point peek at why the film deserved to flop out, but I decided to not be so negative until I maybe saw the final product. It’s a good thing I waited because after seeing the film, everything I thought about writing happened and the movie was even worse than my cynical ass expected. But I don’t blame director Josh Trank (Chronicle) all that much because it very well seems the studio had more to do with the film being such a train wreck.

In my opinion, Fox needs to sell back or hand those rights over to a studio that can actually do something constructive with the characters. Too many hands went into what looks like rushed re-shooting and sloppy editing so what should have been another reliable summer blockbuster for fans has turned into a must-see exercise for film students as to what NOT to do. Or a note to creative types with vision to stay far away from licensed properties and a studio system that demands souls and final cut in exchange for some sort of loyalty. While the film is far from unwatchable, it’s not worth the cost of a ticket at all and more suited to cable or network TV. Then again, on a channel with commercials, trying to make sense of the film will be a total nightmare unless scenes are added back in to help things out. Continue reading

New Terminator Genisys Trailer: Blasts From The Past And Future Get The Internet Somewhat Nuts


 

What’s been interesting about these Terminator Genisys trailers is how the internet whiners has reacted to the reboot without realizing that the new film is playing them like violins. The time-bending going on here and all the plot twists see as spoilers might not even be the big things the movie is bringing to the table. Me, I like the idea of taking the first two films and remixing them so Sarah Connor knows what’s coming and prepares for it before finding out things aren’t as she planned for.

I’m really curious to find out what type of Terminator John has turned out to be as well as seeing if the process can be reversed (remember, we’re dealing with time travel and its many possible ripples) by the time those end credits roll. That and hell, it’ll be fun hearing whatever goofball quips Arnold comes up with as the film progresses. It looks as if Emilia Clarke has got some of his better quotes from the first two films down pat. Eh, we’ll see (as usual). I don’t expect him to survive this flick either, but I have the feeling that even if he does… he’ll be BACK. Well, at least for one more go-around.

Terminator: Genisys – Yeah, He’s BACK (Again)…

Terminator Genisys Banner

(Thanks, Arnold!) 

terminator_genisys_teaser_posterWell, I guess it’s as good a time as ever to note that when I first heard Arnold was doing another Terminator flick, I think I broke something laughing. Of course, we’re at the point in visual effects tech that the best and brightest can make anything or anyone real look like a CG effect and here’s living proof of that coming to a theater near you next year. Actually, the plot makes it sound like a reboot that’s burning the candle at both ends with the return of Kyle Reese, Sarah Conner and a few other elements from James Cameron’s original two flicks. Of course, the film should benefit from Alan Taylor‘s direction, as his Game of Thrones work is pretty strong.

Granted, other than more plastics and metals there’s not much of a difference between the gritty filth of Westeros and the gritty radioactive filth of the future setting here (and the gritty filthy present the characters will end up in). But if the film can capture all that made the first two Terminator movies so special, this one may do well outside the blockbuster-fed crowds that will rush out to see it when it finally opens next July.

On the other hand, if this flick slips up in any way, shape or form in the plot or tosses in too much for the modern “Wait, what just happened?” crowd who need stuff constantly explained to them, it may tank out after a month because word of mouth hit it harder than a T-1000 slapping Arnold with a sledgehammer. Balance is the key to success, I’m betting. And I’m also betting the home video version will pack in scenes that get left on the cutting room floor because that’s the trend these days. Anyway, that’s two formerly successful franchises making a comeback in 2015, so between this reboot/remake with a twist and Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, it’s the 1980’s all over again.

And yeah – that’s both a good thing and a not so good thing…


 

Gallery: Avengers 2, Assemble!

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Heh. So much for that trailer “leak”, huh? Thanks to movie poster site Imp Awards, we also JUST so happen to have not one, but two teaser posters (what, so SOON?), one of which gets broken up into EIGHT separate posters. Yeah, so much for suspense, huh? Eh, whatever. As I noted previously, this is how Marvel probably wants it from now on and it’s certainly NOT going to make people less likely to see Avengers 2: Age of Ultron or any other films Marvel whips out in the next few years.

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Hmmmm… I wonder when this one comes out? Oh, right (heh)…

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Avengers 2: Age of Ultron Trailer: Shhhh! You’re NOT Supposed to Be Seeing This Yet (Eye Roll Version)…

(Thanks, JoBlo Movie Trailers!)

Oh, look. A “leaked” Avengers 2: Age of Ultron trailer. Or… is that *leaked*? Whatever. We all know that Marvel WANTS us to get all hopped up like a busload of kids returning from Candy Land on freebie day or adults staggering out of a Starbucks wide-eyed and giddy after some millionaire (Tony Stark, perhaps?) strolled in and bought free all you can drink espresso shots for one and all. Hey, it can happen, people! Anyway, it IS a nice trailer, isn’t it? Nice and darrrrrrrrrrk (as expected, since the Marvel Universe on film has been treading some intentionally gloomy ground of late). Well, let the waiting continue, as this isn’t going to be anywhere near a movie theater until what, next summer? I can wait that long. Look, time is passing already! It’s now not as long a wait as when you started reading this post, heh…

LUCY Poster Gets Me Thinking Of Much Funnier Memories From The Past…

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Hmmmmmm. I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud when I saw the name to Luc Besson’s new film about a sexy gal (Scarlett Johansson) who gains superhuman powers after she accidentally ingests some of the drugs she’s forced to smuggle. Not because I don’t think Mr. B and Ms. J can pull it off more than ably and not because it’s one more Besson action flick about a killer lady doing her stuff kicking all sorts of butt and getting into serious trouble in fancy locations. Nope, those well-aged tropes make me smile and nod. It’s the title, ladies and gents. Why? Because I think of Lucille Ball making a 20-foot loaf of bread, stuffing chocolates in her mouth on that assembly line, stomping grapes versus a real grape stomper and getting into other mischief that requires “splain”-ing to her harried hubby. Of course, when I get around to actually seeing the trailer, I’ll be expecting a laugh track and a orchestral/bongo back beat. Oh, wait… it was already dropped onto YouTube in April? D’oooooh! (Goes to microwave some popcorn, microwave is busted. *Crap!* Runs out to buy bad of equally nasty cold bagged popcorn… Seven minutes, thirty eight seconds later)…

(thanks, Movieclips Trailers!)

“Luc-yyyyyyyy? I’m hooooooome” (Hee-hee…)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Trailer: I Thought “Ape Shall Never Kill Ape!” Was A Golden Rule?

So, not only will there be a sequel to Rise of the Planet of the Apes, it looks as if this time it’s (even more) war as ape versus ape action will fill theaters next July and get the CG fans screaming. Me? I’ll wait for the cable premiere, as all these computer-made flicks just get on my nerves after anything over five minutes of otherwise hard work that’s failing to keep my interest the more of these effects hit me over the head. I’m NOT getting jaded at all, mind you. I just miss the days of practical work looking better in some respects and not as “perfect” because every motion is animated to a “T” and overemphasized to the point that it looks TOO realistic or worse, you get those “impossible to capture with a real camera” moments piled one atop the other and it’s basically not the director directing any longer. Yeah, we’ll see… we’ll see. It looks interesting and all, but if it’s not as “kinda fun” as Rise was, I’ll be sending a box of rotten banana peels to Fox with a mildly nasty note…

Random Film of the Week(end) – (Summer Edition!): Sunshine

sunshineSpoiler: Sunshine has a “happy” ending. End spoiler. I had to put that up front because Danny Boyle’s excellent 2007 sci-fi film is a layered downward emotional spiral with some solid performances throughout. The story pretty much sets up the fact that this is going to be terminally gloomy stuff (despite the positive sounding title): the crew of the Icarus II sets out from a suffering Earth to relight a dying Sun with a massive nuclear explosion seven years after the first mission fails. Yeah, that’s not your average blockbuster summer comedy hit storyline, that’s for damn sure…

As Icarus II gets closer to its target, it’s discovered that first Icarus didn’t actually disappear as much as become something of The Old Dark House in space (minus any comedic elements). When the new ship links up with the old in order to snag its bomb and it’s discover what happened to its crew, things get more than a little strange as a few shocking elements come into play…

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