DEATH KISS: Then Came… Bronson?

Death Kiss MP

I know I’m very late to the party on this, but yipes, this guy’s got the looks of a… Stone Killer (ha and ha-ha).

 

(Thanks, JoBlo Movie Trailers!)

 

Okay, the film looks kind of cheesy (in the best possible manner) and that soundtrack is pure 80’s perfect (as in equally cheesy, plus tax). But I kind of want to see this, iffy acting, tralier-iffic clunky action scenes and all just for actor Robert Bronzi doing a dead on Charles Bronson impersonation. I almost thought for a hot second some digital effects team got the rights to Bronson’s likeness and stick it on some actor’s face, but nope. Bronzi’s the real unreal deal. I’d bet a buck that Uncork’d Entertainment figured out right away this one would be somewhat of a hit among nostalgic Bronson fans wanting a slice of the old days and old ways.

While I’m not sure he’ll be game for hopping into the Bronson role should there be some studio bold enough to try for a reboot of the Death Wish franchise or a new series with a different name that has Bronson, er Bronzi playing a similar character, actors DO need to work and this guy’s got the looks to get the asses in seats. Oh yeah, Bronzi has an official website, so feel free to pop in and say hello as well as tell him what you thought of his work r his spot-on Bronson impersonation. He seems affable enough not to want to hunt you down and exact justice if you’re a poor judge of his talents.

The film is available on a bunch of VOD services now (Amazon, Hulu, Xbox One, the usual suspects), but as I despise streaming services (mostly because streaming up here blows), I’ll be holding my breath for the December 4 DVD release which seems to be a Walmart exclusive if the film’s facebook page is accurate. Eh, it’ll likely pop up on ebay as well, so at least I can get it there because the nearest Walmart is a bit of a pain to get to. Well, it’s a long bus ride away and I hate the super steep hill that bus needs to go down because it’s somewhat vertigo inducing in a slow roller coaster about to roll over manner. I have no idea how people make that trip along the route, because I’ve seen passengers do stuff like shut their eyes and/or mumble out assorted prayers to all sorts of deities during the trip down. As I don’t have a particular Death Wish to make that treacherous trip, I’ll go the slow and lazy Pony Express route on this. Hell, my backlog is big enough that I can hold out for a few months.

-GW

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Arrow Video December: If You #TBT These, They’ll Come After You

My email is hiding stuff from me again, so this post is later than usual. As that title suggests, While today IS a Throwback Thursday, trying to do that with anything Arrow has this month will just get them mad at you and your wistful reminiscing. Just buy them and be scared or giddy or whatever you do best when you pick up a horror flick you fondly or fearfully recall.

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HELLRAISER: THE SCARLET BOX LIMITED EDITION TRILOGY (12/13, $124.95)- Pre-order/order at the MVD SHOP or on Amazon

These terrifying and original films boast brand new 2k restorations along with hours of archival content and newly produced extras including audio commentaries and interviews with Clive Barker, Doug Bradley and Sean Chapman in his first interview on the Hellraiser films in decades.

The 4-disc set will also include the newly edited version of Leviathan, the definitive documentary on Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. A new documentary, Hellraiser: Evolutions, will also be included and will look at the evolution of the hit horror franchise and its enduring legacy.

These features will sit amongst a host of rarities and never-before-seen footage from the movies including the legendary ‘Surgeon’ scene from Hellbound: Hellraiser 2, the subject of fierce debate amongst fans for many years, now finally unearthed for its home video debut.

This limited edition Blu-ray comes with an exclusive illustrated 200-page hardback book featuring new writing from Clive Barker archivists Phil and Sarah Stokes and a 20-page booklet featuring never-before-seen original Hellraiser concept art. The limited edition packaging is adorned with incredible new artwork from Gilles Vranckx alongside a set of 5 exclusive art cards and a fold-out reversible poster.

Read on below the jump for a novella’s worth of features…

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World of Darkness Wants You to Enjoy Some Earplay For Halloween

light-desktop-wwearplay-logo-ww-bgBefore horror books and movies, the spoken word was where it was at when you needed your spine chilled but good. The just announced partnership between Earplay and White Wolf Publishing to bring World of Darkness to iOS and Alexa enabled devices (such has Amazon’s Echo and Echo Dot) sounds like a very cool interactive endeavor horror fiction fans may want to take a peek at and a listen to soon.

So, exactly what is this and why should you keep an ear peeled for it? Well, you have some reading to do, sir or madam. You like to read, right? Good. Here you go: Um, well… below the jump. Hey, I didn’t lie! Go look!

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2016: A Package Odyssey: Houston, We Have A “Wait, What?”

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Nope, that’s not me above. That both my reaction to yesterday’s news (no, not that stupid debate I didn’t watch) about my missing PS4 as well as the general attitude of the seller I bought it from. Both of these are making me wish I had a quart of booze to drink before smashing the bottle over my head if I hadn’t passed out by that point. Whee?

More in a bit. I need to get some squeaky, freaky wheels moving here because that darn deer sure isn’t moving fast enough and the road needs to be cleared without anything else going under the bus.

Suspense! I really hate it at a time like this. Don’t you? Good.

Aliens vs. Pinball: Ripley’s Back; She’s Got Balls Now

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AliensvsPinball_Logo_FDEZenAs a longtime fan of Zen Pinball 2’s creative digital tables, I’m always surprised when I see a new board that tops what I thought was their best work. This brief teaser for the upcoming Aliens vs. Pinball: Aliens Pinball made me grin way too much (in a good way) because it looks as if it’ll be a fun skill shot paradise for silver ball fanatics.

And yes, that art above, logo to the left and screenshots below reveal the other two tables in the pack. Alien Isolation was a terrifying game in its own right, but I’m betting the pinball version will be somewhat less scary (but still a blast to play) just because Zen makes its tables for a wider age range. As for that AvP table? It should be a lot better than the films (sorry, Fox!) if it avoids them entirely and is closer to what the old Dark Horse comics were.

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As usual, we shall see soon enough. Aliens vs. Pinball will be out April 26, 2016 (ALIEN Day!) for PS4, PS3, Vita, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Steam, Windows 10, Mac, as well as in-app purchases for Zen Pinball and as a standalone app on iOS and Android devices.

Gauntlet is BACK. Just Buy It And Bring Some Friends Along For The Ride!

Nice. Arrowhead Game Studios has done classic and current gamers a solid by making their Gauntlet reboot a more than worthy nod to the original arcade classic. I sure hope to heck this sells REALLY well and someone has had the foresight to get the developer some console dev kits, as this game is PERFECT for some solo or offline/online couch or not co-op play sessions. That and some of us old fogies like playing the game with some sort of joystick and not a keyboard/mouse setup. Also, it would be excellent to have the ability to take this one on the road as a Vita or (if it’s not too much trouble to do a new version down the road) 3DS game. Eh, we’ll see what sales figures and company heads say, I suppose. The game was made for the masses back in the day and there’s NO reason it shouldn’t be available on anything else that can handle it, I say…

Gran Turismo 6 Amazon Pre-Order: That Fake Million Bucks Will Get You Really Popular…

As far as gimmicks go, this one’s pretty nifty. Pre-ordering a copy Gran Turismo 6 on the PlayStation 3 nets you a cool one million dollars…(YES!) in the game (Oh.) to spend on anything you want (well, provided it’s in the game). While that may seem like a lot of money, I’ll lay a real millionth of that that there will be a few really wicked rides that cost close to that amount, meaning some folks will end up with a bunch of less expensive rides while others will go all out and buy the most expensive two or three and spend the change on buying pricey upgrades in order to blaze past any online competition.

While I prefer MY million real and in small denominations please (ever try and break a hundred buying a slice of pizza when you’re the first customer of the day? Yeah, that’s a pain in the ass), this is a pretty nice bonus that takes up NO shelf space and doesn’t require you to worry about coming home one day to find the dog or cat gnawing on it. On the other hand, if your pet watches you as you game, I bet you’ll wonder why that controller has claw marks all over it and your TV and PS3 somehow keep turning themselves on while you’re not home.

Hmmmm…

E3 2013: Lego Marvel Super Heroes Trailer: TT Games Makes It Marvelicious!

Yeah, it’s on, again. Eternally busy developer TT Games is really knocking it all over and out of the park with their LEGO games, and while LEGO Batman 2 was spectacular, this looks as if it will top it and yes, Marvel Comics fans are hopping up and down about this all over the place. That said, as much pure fun as these games are to play solo or co-op, I keep wondering when we’ll see TT do a SERIOUS super-hero game, as I can only imagine how cool an open world Marvel or DC game would be if it played like this and had the same amount of characters (or more) to choose from. No, some MMO doesn’t hack it for me – I’m an offline guy and an antisocial jerk, at that. Well, most of the time…

LEGO Marvel Super Heroes: It’s About Time The House of Ideas Got Bricked!

Take that as you will, but Marvel fans have been clamoring for a LEGO game with their favorites for years, so this way too short teaser trailer is giving them a reason to bounce up and down in their seats. I got a big grin going when I saw that the Hulk that looked as if it was modeled after the late Gil Kane’s version (except it doesn’t have that weird pineapple-shaped head his did), the Galactus shadow and yeah, those old costumes on some of the charaters. Speaking of characters, over 100 will be playable in the game, meaning this is going to be yet another game in the long running LEGO series with infinite replay value. This fall will be pretty darn busy for Marvel fans, that’s for sure…
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Gallery: Lost Planet 3

Campaign_006_bmp_jpgcopy It may be spring outside, but looking at these Lost Planet 3 screens makes me feel as if I’ve got my face stuck in the freezer and there’s no ice cream left – just a mean-looking alien with glowy bits and very sharp claws an teeth staring back (eek). Veteran developer Spark Unlimited is doing its best work to date, using the Unreal engine and some great motion captured actors to create a solidly stylized vision of the cold, bleak ball of ice covered rock that is E.D.N. III.

LostPlanet3_BrokenGlassWorking class hero Jim Payton isn’t the usual lantern-jawed hero with a hefty arsenal, bulletproof shorts and an ego as big as the planet he’s on at all. He’s just a regular guy who’s trying hard to make a living in a frozen hellhole with Akrid and perhaps a few pesky space pirates ruing his workday. I’ve been hooked in since I played a demo last year and with the first two multiplayer modes finally being revealed last week, it looks as if all the pieces are falling into place for a sleeper hit that will hopefully catch the skeptics by surprise.

Capcom’s Lost Planet 3 hits PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 on August 27, 2013. Poke around below the jump for some more nice screens and artwork.

Oh, and put a hat and gloves on, dears – it’s COLD out there in space…

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