It’s My Party…

Posted on May 7, 2020 by geelw

At The Florist – Frederick Childe Hassam

So, I got a birthday card last week (it’s today, so go get me some cake, please, thank you) and I laughed aloud when I opened it because the card had a portion of a painting I’d seen a while ago and it impressed me so much that I went and wrote a (bad) short story based on the image. This was some decades ago, but I recall more or less it was about humans being briefly ruled by a flower race and it not being so bad because it was more a symbiotic relationship at the end of the day.

As those flowers smelled nice and only tasked humans with carrying them from place to place, things were pretty laid back. If I’m not mistaken, this period of peace ended with a few servants, tired of allergies and a few bee stings, attacked their masters and realized they weren’t able to do much in the way of defending themselves. Hey, I said it was a bad story, didn’t I? Okay, it was VERY bad. Anyway, the point was today’s flower markets are reversals of how flowers once shopped humans to work for them and my, how things have changed, haven’t they? Yes, I used to write some weird stuff. Eh, oh well.

(Thanks, good times!)

Back to the salt mines and all that jazz.

-GW

Banner Photo by Irina Iriser on Unsplash

(Not So) Random Film of the Week: The Flesh Eaters (1964)

Posted on March 6, 2020 by geelw

Cheesy, but very perfectly so.

I think about Jack Curtis’ exceptionally cheesy but really awesome sci-fi/horror hybrid The Flesh Eaters maybe a bit more than I should, but there’s a good reason for that. It was one of the many fright films I grew up watching on television so many times that its unnerving 91 minutes were engraved in my brain for decades. While I’d seen many other horror/sci-fi films as a kid, this particular one stood out for the unsettling for a kid gore factor and overall tone that screamed EC Comics-style nightmare fuel.

I found out later in my teens that it was written by very prolific DC, Marvel and other publishers comics writer Arnold Drake who also made storyboards for the film to assist the director. It’s also by location, classifiable as a New York-based film because it was partly shot in Montauk, New York. The plot kicks off as a small seaplane takes off from Manhattan, runs into a bad storm, and is forced down on a small island in the area with, let’s just say, some rather interesting results in store for all involved.

On that plane are faded starlet and professional drinker Laura Winters (Rita Morely), her lovely but very harried assistant Jan Letterman (Barbara Wilkin), and debt-ridden pilot for hire Grant Murdoch (Byron Sanders), all of whom survive the in-flight stormy surprise landing. They soon meet a German-accented marine biologist Professor Peter Bartell (Martin Kosleck) who’s all by himself on the island save for his little microbial friends whom we will soon find out more about. The not so good Professor has taken up some evil WWII experiments in breeding nasty little bacteria who need fresh flesh to thrive, and between the human and many more fish skeletons that start turning up in the troubled waters around the island, everyone is in for quite a bad time if something REALLY stupid happened to that plane, right?

It’s too bad the folks on that plane didn’t see the beginning of the film as the in-flight movie, as they kind of missed out on a few important things…

Guess what happens to the plane? Free popcorn to the winning guess!

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Oh, The Horror! Severin Films Remasters The Horror of Party Beach

Posted on July 16, 2018 by geelw

(Thanks, SeverinFilmsOfficial!)

Yes indeed, it’s a hot summertime thing from 1964 and it’s BACK. Well, it’s back on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order this slice of not too scary sea life NOW. Now, don’t get me wrong, people. The Horror of Party Beach is kind of bad. How bad? Well, I did a review a few years back noting it wasn’t all that good, if that helps. That said, in retrospect, its heart is definitely in the right place, the film is actually terribly funny and campy as hell, and will indeed make you laugh if your funny bone is in good working order.

I’d prattle on some more, but YOU, dear reader? You have some pre-ordering to do if this spiffy new 2K restoration floats your particular boat. Get the bundle! Or get the Blu-Ray by itself! Or get the DVD if you don’t have a BR player yet! You can also get the enamel pin and/or Beach ball from the bundle separately and make believe you bought the bundle (er, if that’s your thing).

Uh, if you only have a VHS or (eek!) Betamax player, you’re kind of out of luck, sorry!

-GW

Random Film of the Week: Topkapi

Posted on November 6, 2017 by geelw

Topkapi_DVD Having had items stolen from me in the past, I’m not at all a fan of thievery as a *proper* lifestyle choice (grrr!). That said, it’s hard to pass up a good (fake) crime caper and Jules Dassin’s wonderful, amusing 1964 film Topkapi has been a favorite of mine for decades ever since I saw it as a kid. There’s just something magical about Dassin’s work here. It was his first color film and boy, does he blow the doors out right from the near seizure-inducing start (you’ll probably wince/squint a few times with all those color filters and such coming at you full tilt), and it’s also a film that gets you grinning from start to finish.

It’s more or less the flip the switch to comic tone version of Dassin’s bleak but brilliant 1955 film Rififi with a more varied cast and an even better lengthy heist scene. It’s also a film that’s since inspired a few directors to steal liberally from it (to varied effects), but that’s another discussion for another day. Here, you get Melina Mercouri, smoky voice and all as the lovely Elizabeth Lipp, who has the grand idea to steal a jeweled dagger from Topkapi Palace in Istanbul. She seeks out an ex-lover (Maximilian Schell) who just so happens to be a thief of some renown and the pair plan out their caper with the intent to use nothing but amateurs unknown to any authorities who come sniffing around after the crime has been committed.

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Blu-Ray Review: Spider Baby

Posted on July 22, 2015 by geelw

Jack Hill’s amusing and mildly disturbing 1964 horror classic Spider Baby finally gets the feature-packed Blu-Ray treatment is deserves courtesy of Arrow Video and MVD and it’s a must for fans of the formerly forgotten flick that became a cult classic. “The maddest story ever told” still holds up today as quite the viewing experience as well as on original little low budget flick that still packs quite a kick in a few places.

The story of the Merrye family’s twisted offspring and their strange caretaker Bruno is, for all the creepy, unsettling antics taking place, quite an emotional tale at heart. Three siblings Virginia (Jill Banner), Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn) and Ralph (Sig Haig) live with Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.) in a decrepit mansion well off the beaten path with a few other relatives. Thanks to inbreeding among the family, all suffer from a genetic condition that makes them regress mentally into primitive states that make them more than a little dangerous to be around. Bruno does his best to keep his unbalanced charges in line, but after a mailman (Mantan Moreland) is killed and distant relatives arrive to claim the mansion and surrounding property for themselves, things take a turn for the darkly comedic worse. Continue reading →

A Birthday? Greeting of Sorts.

Posted on May 7, 2015 by geelw

It seems that yet another year has passed and I get to wake up and trip over stuff on the way to the bathroom before my morning coffee before dinking around as normal because I don’t run out naked and yell at the top of my lungs that it’s my special day. Whee. Actually, I was thinking yesterday about the best advice I’d ever gotten on my birthday (as that’s the most important thing you get after a certain age, folks) and I laughed because it was from a really drunk guy outside a bar I was walking past a long time ago. I’d just run into a friend leaving that bar who wished me a happy birthday and as I’m thanking him, that drunk popped up from the doorway he was in and yelled out to me “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAN!”

As we didn’t see him there until he yelled, the two of us pretty much jumped out of our skin as he grinned like a rather too happy Cheshire Cat. As we was putting ourselves back together I nodded out a thanks to my new “friend” who then decided to offer me some advice. “If you ever try anything you don’t like, man… make sure to do it TWICE (pause…) because YOU NEVER KNOW!” I gather he was speaking from too much experience in trying all sorts of things more than twice, but his words did stick with me from that point on. Granted, I haven’t tried a lot of things ONCE yet. But I guess that’s another reason people celebrate their birthdays. Eh, it’s been a fairly quiet day here so far. I had to work on my laptop (as in getting it back to working) and that turned out well enough that I’m doing this late post. I also see I got a lot of facebook greetings, so I’ll need to respond to those at some point. Well, some of you can consider this post a general response for now. I’ll take care of you all personally via fb reply in a bit.

For now, I need to stick my head in the oven and get that chicken I put in there out to cool. That bird is going with some rice and black beans I made and after that, I’m going to run like the wind (or walk quickly, as I hate running) down to Starbucks because I’d forgotten until just now that I get a free beverage on my birthday and I may as well take advantage of that. Of course, they’ll toss me out before I order because I never buy anything like the over-sweetened fancycchinos they sell to the masses who just don’t want an ordinary cuppa joe and my brain will lock up looking at the menu. Eh, I’ll just tell the barista I’m trying something new and it may need to be twice before the night is through. Yeah, I lead a reltively dull life these days, people. I’m saving my energy for potential future naps.

Random Film of the Week: Strait-Jacket

Posted on January 1, 2015 by geelw

Something has always bugged me about the 1964 William Castle horror/thriller flick Strait-Jacket ever since I first saw it as a kid. Nope, it’s not the too close to Psycho plot points courtesy of writer Robert Bloch (who also wrote that classic). And it’s certainly not Joan Crawford’s wide and wild-eyed performance as Lucy Harbin, the freed after twenty years in an asylum ax murderess now going through a potential relapse victim as the bodies start piling up again. It’s also definitely not Castle’s direction that downplays some of the camp potential of the material and goes for a handful of genuinely nifty 60’s era shocks.

Nope. What bugged me about the film that still bugs me today is how the hell George Kennedy’s creepy farmhand Leo painted three quarters of a car with the smallest damn can of paint and what looks like a two or three-inch wide brush. HOW DID HE DO THAT?!!
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Random Film of the Week(end): The Horror of Party Beach

Posted on May 17, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, Tommy Retro’s Blast From The Past!)

As it’s almost (but not quite) beach season (unless it’s summer when you’re actually reading this, then BEWARE!) here’s a cautionary tale for you hep cats and hip chicks looking for some fun in the soon to be summer sun: DON’T DO IT! Hell, I mean between the assorted oil and chemical spills and their assorted hasty to long term cleanups that just add MORE nasty chemicals to the waters around everywhere, you’re only bound to run into something monstrous coming out of the water (or heck, just IN the water) that wants to EAT. YOUR. FLESH! (Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!, but somewhat true! Eeeek!).

Anyway, 1964’s Horror on Party Beach kind of predicted this modern age of old-school waste making hasty retreats for beaches everywhere, but the film was SO bad that no one listened because they were busy laughing their bottoms off as this bottom of the fish barrel “Z”-grade spook-tacular stunk up a theater near them… Continue reading →

Random Films of the Week: Some Unconventional Holiday Movies? Sure, Why Not?

Posted on December 26, 2013 by geelw

So, I was sitting around with a few friends a few weeks back talking about movies and such when the subject of Christmas and holiday-themed movies came up and yes, everyone agreed that It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story and a few other classics were all going to be watched at some point during the Season of Greetings. Interestingly enough, a few very unconventional titles got mentioned during this conversation to the point that I decided to toss a few of these films at you in a post and see what you think.

For some strange (well, not so strange) reasons, there are a lot of very non-holiday films on some people’s Holiday viewing schedules with most set during the winter or with cold weather as a big part of their plots (but not always). Anyway, as I see you’re wearing those dodgy jammies and overly fuzzy slippers you got yesterday as gifts and have that cup of “eggnog “at the ready, let’s get started with three or four for now and pick up some others in a future post…

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DVD Review: Here’s Edie – Early 60’s Time Capsule Makes A Mostly Glorious Return To Earth…

Posted on November 13, 2013 by geelw

I had an English teacher in high school who was obsessed with Edie Adams to the point that he actually stopped a fight in class by singing part of a Muriel Cigars commercial that made the two girls fighting stop and stare at him as if he were completely insane. Of course, by then I’d seen some reruns of The Ernie Kovacs Show on PBS and had a whisper of an idea of what he was going on about. However, I also recall bumping into him during a lunch break (he was outside smoking a Muriel Air Tip, of course) and hearing tales of a TV series starring Edie that no one else I asked seemed to have a clue about.

It turns out what I thought was one man’s fantasy life getting a wee bit too real was actually a real TV variety show. MVD Visual is about to unleash Here’s Edie, a 4-disc set of her 21 half-hour specials unseen anywhere since they first aired. After spending some quality time this past weekend with this incredible lady and her talented friends, I can very safely say that fans of classic variety TV will absolutely want this one in their collections… Continue reading →