I’m up WAY too early this Monday (at 6:31, I popped up and couldn’t close my eyes, sooo), but at least I can kick off this busy day with some good news. Coilworks‘ first game Cloudbuilt is allllllmost here (ignore my hasty facebook post from earlier!). Hmmm. Memo for a Monday: Make sure you’re FULLY awake before you do that posting. Ah well. Okay, let me get that coffee going! Back in a few…
Platform: PlayStation 3
Developer: Black Tower Studios/Aksys Games
Publisher: Aksys Games
# of Players:1
ESRB Rating: T (Teen)
Score: D+
While playing through the comically wretched (in)excess that is Magus, I kept having flashbacks to the time the late, lamented 3DO’s internal studios were churning out games like Warriors of Might and Magic, Crusaders of Might and Magic, Shifters and most importantly, Godai: Elemental Force (one of the most laughably busted games ever made for the PS2). Magus reminded me of those games and more recent ones where any good intentions were waylaid by questionable execution that ended up sapping anything decent out of them, leaving a residue of fun smothered in layers of glaring badness.
Now, I love my bad games to death, but Magus gets a special place in my library for making me laugh out of confusion and unintentional humor at the same time. If Black Tower were trying for some sort of genre-bending parody they’ve succeeded royally. On the other hand, if this was a serious idea gone south for the duration that couldn’t be salvaged, it’s a bit head-shaking how this game got made this late in the PS3’s life cycle… Continue reading
*Sigh*… I don’t know why I do this to myself, but I figure one of these modern horror films will actually do what it’s intending and actually scare me. Granted, I draw the line at the torture porn genre stuff and some of the repetitive nonsense that templates better films that were more entertaining back in the 1970’s and 80’s. Well, at least this poster variant is REALLY nice (and probably the creepiest thing about the film).
The one fun and funny thing about this trailer is I’m SURE the folks behind the upcoming Oculus Rift virtual reality (or whatever they want to call it) headset probably don’t want the negative stigma of someone slapping on those expensive X-Ray specs and seeing not so friendly ghosts popping up in their faces. Eh, whatever – I’ll be waiting for this one to pop up on cable to see if it makes me even shift a little in my seat. I sure wasn’t at all scared by this two and a half minutes…
(Thanks, kxkwarriorv!)
SHIVERS (or They Came From Within) is NOT a very good date movie. At all. David Cronenberg’s absolutely unsettling and increasingly relentless genre classic may make you fear all of the following (in no order) sex, sexually transmitted diseases, parasites, scalpels, Canada, quirky (but sexy) Canadians, somewhat secluded apartment complexes, swimming, bathing, kitchen sinks, liquids in general, elevators, upset stomachs, children and doctors with strange hobbies (plus a few other things major and minor).
That said, the film excels at what it intends so well that it’s absolutely required viewing even though if you DO make it a date night flick. Just don’t be surprised to feel your butt muscles getting a workout as they slowly ambulate you sideways away from that sweetie sitting next to you (and his or her butt will be doing the same thing, by the way). On the other hand, this may be a film that brings you closer if only to get in some cuddle time afterwards. “No sex, please… we’re now both as scared as s#!t!”
Playing Politics CAN Indeed Be FUN! (Who knew?!) While it’s designed to teach kids about our rugged (but sometimes shaky) presidential election process, The Presidential Game makes for an excellent primer for those political junkies from the book-fed constant reader to the lazy cable news-head who believes every one-sided argument (and it’s ALWAYS an argument) that screeches from his or her speakers. Created by Regina Glocker, the game aims to teach kids and young adults about the electoral college and how it works while delivering a fast paced and fun experience in the process. The cool thing here is Glocker had no previous game creating experience at all, but you know what happens when an idea seed gets planted, nurtured by like-minded companions and grows into a healthy tree with useful fruit, right?
(thanks, Jon Clark!)
Henry Hathaway’s 1955 potboiler The Racers isn’t exactly the best Kirk Douglas vehicle out there, but the actor gives it his usual all in this zippy yet easily forgotten melodrama that features some excellent real life races in gorgeous European locations race fans will approve of highly. Unfortunately, mixed in with these lovely tracks are some of the worst laughably out of place front, rear, and side screen projected driving scenes outside of a slapstick comedy. In fact, these projection sequences are so obvious that they give the otherwise slickly made movie more of an odd comic tone today than they probably did back in theaters in 1955. Then again, I can’t imagine anyone being fooled back then either.
Granted, it’s more than obvious that the otherwise wise filmmakers didn’t want Douglas whipping around in uncontrollable circles in an open cockpit roadster or flying off a track because of a stray poodle to crash through some hay bales and a stone fence (the first hilarious wreck in the film). On the other hand, given the character he plays is a bit of a jerk as he steps on a few toes on his way to the top of the auto racing heap, I guess a little less fake looking fakery may have made this more memorable a time killer… Continue reading
Ha. The folks overseas at gog.com must think Saint Patrick’s Day is a federal holiday here or something (as in a day where people don’t have to go to work at all). How else would you explain this insane sale? Up to 90% off a BUNCH of games and there’s even a random Pot of Gold picker button that has some invisible leprechaun pick random games for you. Cool! Unless you get a copy of Elf Bowling or something. But I don’t think that’s going to happen at all. Maybe. Anyway, take a chance at two bucks a pop or just use that nice ling list of picks to choose your game(s). Calling into work on Monday sick is up to you, but if your boss happens to also have a gog.com account and reads your braggy posting in the forums there about the deal(s) you got there, well… it’s your move I guess. If you get fired, look at the bright side – you’ll now have time to play all those games you just bought!
(Thanks, Arnold)!
Yikes. Well, at least he’s smashing stuff with that tank he owns for a good cause, so it’s not as if he’s gone completely nuts like the time he got me in a choppa to take me somewhere and left me there when he went to go get some cigars from the nearest corner store. Which just so happened to be 147 miles from that jungle hell I had to cut my way out of with a rusty machete. Of course, Arnold acts as if he’s forgotten all about it, but he knows I had to live on assorted insects, plants and half a Little Debbie cinnamon bun (yuk!) I had in my pocket. Anyway, check out the rest of the Let’s Crush videos HERE and get a little chuckle on a fine Friday afternoon, I say…
Well, this looks as if it’ll hit all the usual Hollywood biopic notes to a “T” (“Can I get a “T”!) and yes indeed, the music saves this trailer (and quite possibly the film) from sinking into melodramatic parody. I say ANYONE who wants to spend money on a ticket needs to at least track down a copy of Star Time and Brother James’ appearance on The T.A.M.I. Show (TIGHT band, TIGHTER pants, the crowd goes wild as if commanded and possessed) just so you can hear those bombastic classics as they’re meant to be heard. I’m betting if there’s a soundtrack for this flick, the mix will be putrid or overdone or both, but I may be wrong. I’m not holding my breath. Now, Please, Please, Please go dance somewhere else, as I’m trying to work here!
Seriously, that was WAY too short, but it gets the job done. Coilworks‘ gorgeous looking and tough as nails free-runner/shooter/platformer Cloudbuilt arrives on Steam in a week, so go check out the official site and the Steam store page to see what all the fast-paced fuss is about. Fast trailer gets a quickie post – there, I’m done!
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 