A killer “B” in the making, House Shark caught my eye (ow!) with its intentionally cornball “Jaws in a house” plot and liberal doses of humor and primarily practical effects work. SRS Cinema and veteran indie director Ron Bonk (there needs to be a cartoon sound effect here) is looking for like-minded horror fanatics to help him fund his latest venture with a mere $15,000 target between those who donate and the completed film. There are 22 days left to get this show on the road (or back on the road), so if you’re a fan of low-budget gore and spirited film making in a jugular vein, you know where you’re clicking next.
(Thanks, SRS CinemaLLC!)
In English: Check out the Indiegogo campaign here and take note that contributing at least $60 to funding will net you (among other rewards) House Shark on one of three formats (VHS, DVD or Blu-Ray), you’ll also get a copy of his upcoming homage to female revenge flicks of the 1970’s, She Kills (that trailer isn’t for the kiddies, folks!). You can also choose to dive into the shallow end of the pool and get less perks or belly flop into the ocean as a high roller and actually be an EXTRA or even one of the film’s producers if you’re willing to travel.
Hmmm… does anyone want to ring up a certain wealthy, wild-haired egomaniac running for office and get him off the trail for a few weeks? Sharking in a house in upstate NY just may be more up his alley than stirring up all those hornet nests all over the place. Better to have him in the real entertainment business than making a “reality” show out of more serious stuff, I say.


Hmmm. Online only multiplayer games don’t hook me in any more (I prefer my adventuring solo and antisocially unconnected), but Conan Exiles might make me change my mind. Well, provided it can be played offline. FunCom is betting the farm that this announcement and short, glorious teaser trailer can get those who DO play online thrilled and judging from the response from a few friends, their strategy has worked. The game is certainly going to do well among fans finally getting that open world carnage they want with a familiar license drawing them in, but I don’t expect that players will actually get to BE the man himself. Conan the Clone isn’t much of a selling point, but I’m betting my own farm (it’s a tiny one) that the character creation system is fantastic to the point of having too many options for male and female avatars alike.



Another of
Moo! Of course, that means that Cow from Hell above is udderly a female fiend (last time I checked, bulls are udderless), but hey – equality goes as good for evil as it does for good when all is said and done. If that sentence made no sense it’s because I’m still zonked out from the snowstorm we had two days ago. I could use some hot milk right about now, so that bovine behemoth-ess (MOO!) is looking mighty attractive about now.
