(Not So) Random Film of the Week: Humanoids From The Deep

Humanoids From the Deep MPIt’s pretty much a 60’s “B” flick dipped in the not for the kiddies gore and nudity of early 80’s slasher flicks. But on that level Humanoids of the Deep works. You’re pretty much getting The Horror of Party Beach and Creature From the Black Lagoon with a bit of actual horror, but the film is more notorious for its added in post-production scenes of icky, horny sea creatures molesting a few young actresses after whipping their bathing suits off. That caused a bit of a stir back when I saw this in 1980 with a few friends and I also recall a handful of people screaming and doing an exit dash at the film’s somewhat ALIEN-inspired final scene.

Back then I didn’t like the film all that much because of its extremes and that it felt like two different films crunched together at the expense of the better one. But over time it’s become something of a mash-up of intentional and unintentional comedy, eyeball-rolling “shock” scenes and yes, well-known cast members who didn’t realize they’d be starring in a rather mean-spirited exploitation moneymaker that would garner a loyal fan base. For me it’s more of a great guilty pleasure when I look at it now. Albeit with a big blood red caution buoy in the water if you’re squeamish or easily annoyed by gore and gratuitous nudity in a “roughie” manner.

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Random Film of the Week: Future Women

The Girl From Rio 1969 MPHey, I love looking at naked ladies in bad movies as much as the next guy or gal who loves looking at naked ladies in bad movies, but a film like the incomprehensible mess that is Future Women (or The Girl From Rio, Rio ’70, City Without Men, The Seven Secrets of Sumuru, Sumuru: Queen of Femina, and of all things, Mothers of America) makes me want to shift that hobby to watching paint dry or grass grow instead.

Directed by cult schlockmesiter supremo Jesús “Jess” Franco and seemingly edited by a team of eyeless chimps who probably dropped the film into a blender (and who also did some of the wretchedly amusing “special” effects), this is one of those lame Bond copycats that gets nothing right because its source material never should have been altered into the 007 wannabe nonsense-fest that will have your brain running out of the room about halfway in. But yeah, it’s got a bunch of naked and half-naked ladies and is kinda sorta of based on a story by Sax Rohmer , so there’s that. Continue reading

Film Review: WYRMWOOD: Road of the Dead

WyrmwoodROTDposterLike a shambling dead thing encased in a suit of the strongest armor, the zombie in popular culture is pretty unstoppable even at this point of over-saturation. That said, it’s a fine day indeed when someone comes up with a new angle on the undead while making a crowd pleasing viewing experience worth running out and catching in a theater or owning on a disc down the road. Welcome to WYRMWOOD: Road of the Dead, director Kiah Roache-Turner’s first (and hopefully not last) film that deserves a place in horror fan’s still beating hearts.

As that poster to the left states, what you’re getting is more or less Mad Max meets Dawn of the Dead, but the film is a lot more than that handy to memorize tagline suggests. Co-writers Tristan Roache-Turner, Kiah Roache-Turner have cooked up a fast-paced action flick that blends biting wit and dramatic bits just about perfectly. A cast of likable thrust into their post-zombie apocalyptic heroics characters, some truly nasty villains and yes, hordes of zombies keep things pumping and the film never wears out its welcome even when it deftly ventures into cliche territory. Continue reading

MVD and Arrow Films Shoot More Mature Movies Your Way Soon

Wow. Since I was so darn busy these past few weeks (and still am), I missed the second email from Clint over at MVD and almost missed the third until a friend reminded me to check and see what movies Arrow Films was getting out on DVD here in the U.S. of A. over the next few months. Well, here you go, then – six more films ABSOLUTELY not for the kiddies coming to Blu-Ray or DVD. Three in April, three more in May. yes I can count – you’ll see if you keep reading… Continue reading

Random Film of the Week(end) Quickie: The Pit and the Pendulum (Or: That Funky Cold Medina)

The Pit and the Pendulum 1961So, here’s how MY Saturday night went. I’m sitting in the living room watching “The Price of Fear” marathon on This TV (which seems to be an offshoot of WPIX here in NYC that shows better movies, albeit edited for network standards) and during a commercial break in The Pit and the Pendulum (I know, I know – but I can’t pass up those Vincent Price/Roger Corman films anywhere they’re aired), I heard some loud music booming outside from someone going deaf in his or her car.

A few seconds later I end up nearly falling off the couch laughing because the song playing with its bumpy bass hanging out the window is none other than Tone Loc’s ode to lousy overpriced wine, Funky Cold Medina. Bwah and ha. Suddenly, my Saturday night got a great deal more interesting…

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MVD Visual & Arrow Films Make For A Perfect Pairing For Genre Fans

MVD Arrow Films Trio 

All you UK movie collectors can now cease with the bragging about Arrow Films and their wonderful collection of cult favorites because MVD Visual is teaming up with them to distribute at least some of those films in North America. The first three out of the game will be Day of Anger [I Giorni dell’ira, aka Gunlaw], Blind Woman’s Curse and Mark of the Devil, all restored to their original cinematic glory. Each Blu-Ray/DVD will retail for 39.99, but as you know, shopping online will get you a lower price (as in follow those links above and save ten bucks, folks!)

I have memories of seeing two out of three of these flicks, but I’ll save my impressions for review time. Color me thrilled at the prospect of expanding my film library as well as some of your horizons in the not too distant future…

Random Film of the Week(end): Malibu High

Malibu High MP 1979In the storied pantheon of “High school girl goes bad, turns to prostitution and murder to make ends meet, meets end tragically” films, Irvin Berwick’s 1979 exploitation classic Malibu High is probably the “best” of the bunch. Well, I’m not sure “best” is the proper word to use for a film this bizarre, but you genre fans know what I mean.

That cute poster on the left makes it look like a typical pre-80’s sex comedy flick packed with lowbrow laughs. But man, is it oh soooooooo misleading. Yes, there are laughs to be had here and plenty of them. But the film’s general tone straddles the line between parody and interesting attempts to be serious with breathtaking results… Continue reading

Random Films: Bad Movies: It’s What’s For Dinner!

dinner and too many movies
 

Okay, I couldn’t help myself. After the cheesy charm of Mill Creek Entertainment‘s 50 movie bundle Sci-Fi Invasion sent me to Nostalgialand, I had to have more. Fortunately, I was able to track down five more of these sets for dirt cheap ($35 shipped for everything) and now never need to go outside again. Well, that’s a bit of an overstatement. Sure, there are all so-so transfers and if I had enough bandwidth, a load of time and a bigger hard drive I could look around the internet and get all of these for no money at all. But I’m a perfect example of someone who can’t use any streaming service at home thanks to jumpy internet as well as one of many who just prefer physical media over downloads. I’m not so fond of this digital future everyone is pushing for because it’s too much trouble and expense to keep up with every trend.

That and many of these tech items that are supposed to be changing the world are ending up to be disappointing failures. Segway, 3DTV and Google Glass owners who got sucked into those technological wonders as early adopters shelling out small fortunes are probably feeling a lot less chatty these days. Unless of course they’re those staunch defenders who claim we all didn’t “get” what the “future” those expensive toys were supposed to bring the world. Now, I’m NOT against new inventions and innovations at all. It’s just that people will be people and think that recreating stuff from movies that should stay in movies and/or thinking people will adopt every bizarre idea as the next big thing has led to a LOT of time and money wasted. Work on saving the damn planet, not just trying to sell us stuff and maybe I’ll be impressed…

Anyway, I have some movies to watch (“SOME” he says? HA!). Not now, but soon, as I’ve a ton of work in my inbox. Um, anyone want to come over and watch too many bad movies? Bring food and beverages, because I’ll probably be feeling far too lazy to cook anything.

Okay, back in a bit…

Don’t Let Stuff Bug You, Live Longer!

(thanks again, Sleaze-O-Rama!)
 

This is pretty common sense stuff, but we all need to be occasionally reminded that a bit of positive thinking will keep you alive a bit longer. According to a new study from the University of Illinois (along with a few of other studies like this one that show similar results). Yeah, yeah. I know some of you happen to people who like your gloomy outlooks, black roses floating in your bath water and droning music while you cook your dinner while smoking three cigarettes at once and drinking gin from the bottle. But think of living longer like this: You get to be around longer to spread your glum tidings and gain a few new followers. That is, should you be a part of any sort of social scene and actually care about that sort of thing. Anyway, cheer up and be glad you’re not hiding in a cave from hard to kill grabby giant wasps.

That said, you’ll probably get blind-sided by some stroller pushing super-mom on her cellphone right into the path of a bus, however. Stop wearing those sunglasses at night next time and maybe cut down to a pack a day so you can see outside the range of the cloud of smoke you’re usually hidden under. You may thank me later if you like. This has been a public service announcement.

Wyrmwood: Dead Down Under In This High-Octane Horror Hybrid

WyrmwoodROTDposter 

With no signs of stopping zombie films (and believe me, I’ve tried!), it’s great to see directors getting a bit more creative than usual with the genre. Case in point, WYRMWOOD, see to land in theaters February 13th, 2015 courtesy IFC Midnight. First time director (and co-writer) Kiah Roache-Turner takes the standard undead stalking the living formula and adds it to a post-zombie apocalyptic Down Under setting with some interesting characters and twists galore. Sure, it’s rocking that Mad Max meets Dawn of the Dead vibe somewhat fierce. But there seem to be enough laughs here to evenly balance out the gore factor and if there’s anything a good horror hybrid movie needs, it’s some decent humor to break up the monotony. Well, at least I think so.

Here’s the trailer:


 

As well as what your ticket money gets you (fun!):

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WYRMWOOD
In Select Theaters on February 13th

 

Zombies invade the Australian Outback in this brain-splattered, Mad Max-meets-the-undead thrill ride. When an apocalyptic event turns everyone around him-including his wife and daughter-into marauding zombies, everyman mechanic Barry arms himself to the teeth, soups up his car, and hits the road in order to rescue his sister from a deranged, disco-dancing mad doctor. Bursting with high-octane car chases, crazy-cool homemade weaponry, and enough blood-and-guts gore to satisfy hardcore horror fans, WYRMWOOD: ROAD OF THE DEAD takes the zombie flick to bone-crunchingly berserk new heights.

 

 

Cast: Jay Gallagher, Bianca Bradey, Leon Burchill, Luke McKenzie, Yure Covich, Catherine Terracini, Keith Agius, Meganne West

 

Directed by: Kiah Roache-Turner

 

Written by: Tristan Roache-Turner, Kiah Roache-Turner

 

Genre: Action/Horror

 

Distributor: IFC Midnight

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Sounds like a plan. Bring a date and all that stuff. I think I’ll need to review this one for sure…