If You Never Loved Lucy, Well… This Might Change Your Mind…

Posted on September 5, 2013 by geelw

I happened to be flipping around the dial randomly again and TCM paid off, as usual with a film I hadn’t seen yet (but had heard of). This clip from director Dorothy Arzner’s 1940 film Dance, Girl, Dance of Lucille Ball doing the number “Jitterbug Bite” cracked me up because in another universe, she’d have been more famous for her sassy song and dance numbers and not trying to “splain” every week to Ricky about why the oven grew a twenty-foot bread loaf, why she stuffed too many chocolates into her face at the chocolate factory or got into a catfight in a vat of wine grapes with some stubborn grape-stompers.

The film itself is pretty funny, pitting Lucy’s burlesque queen Bubbles (what a name!) up against the cute gal played by Maureen O’Hara who does the opening act everyone boos until Lucy steps in to pull her showstopper number. of course, being typcast as a sexpot isn’t the best thing for any actress who wants to stretch her wings, so it’s definitely a great thing that Lucy didn’t let herself get trapped into these sorts of roles, right? But of course, if you never loved Lucy, it means you just never watched enough TV back in the day or sought out all those reruns that seem to in in constant loop on some channel somewhere in the world…

Random Film of the Week: The Man With the Golden Arm

Posted on September 2, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, OMP Drama!)

Sure, drug addiction isn’t a laughing matter at all, but Otto Preminger’s 1955 classic The Man With the Golden Arm manages to be more hilarious each time I see it for a few reasons. Although it’s packing in a classic Elmer Bernstein score, a great Saul Bass title sequence, Preminger’s strong direction, some powerful performances from Frank (One Take) Sinatra, Kim Novak, and a bunch of very familiar faces, the simple fact is the film hasn’t aged well at all (but that’s a good thing).

What may have been seen as a deathly serious subject for a cautionary tale almost 60 years ago can now be enjoyed as a nearly non-stop riot of scenery chewing performance art with two of the funniest demises in a “serious” film. Granted, if you’re in a totally unfunny mood, the film still has its story and dramatic pacing to keep you hooked in. On the other hand, it’s hard not to get in a laugh at the film’s expense in a few spots…

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Random Art: Fit to Be Tied, Frees the Mind (I Guess)…

Posted on August 23, 2013 by geelw

Whee, more dumping from the way too busy brain factory upstairs. Yeah, a bit of being arty every so often helps me think (and that’s a good thing). I’m still playing catch up with the backlog (and dodging the occasional cranky Batman fan), but otherwise, it’s humming along on a few fronts.

I need to review a new chair (yeah, a chair, but what a chair it is, ladies and gents) and some other stuff, compete all those previews I’ve started and convince a few people to see The World’s End without me being there because I’ll be doing other things (like work and maybe more art? We shall see…). Yeah, you should see it, too. And speaking of films, yup, more Random Film of the Week action is on the way as well. Stick around… you’ll see…

Random Film of the Week(end): The Chairman

Posted on August 17, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Night of the Trailers!)

One of those films that some overly reactionary folk will take WAY too seriously if they ever see it (or already have if they remember seeing it on TV), 1969’s The Chairman is an intriguing mix of drama, action and spy flick that despite a huge chunk of ambition and a nice sense of scale, really doesn’t do much other than shake the pot it’s in before burning up from its good idea/bad ideas never quite blending correctly.

Granted, seeing Gregory Peck play an egghead genius type sent to communist China by the US government to retrieve a special enzyme that can grow crops in any type of soil (cue evil Monsanto theme if there is such a thing) is both the most interesting and most baffling thing about this one. But don’t let that poster fool you too much into thinking Peck will fight Mao in a one on one battle or anything. They meet, but it’s a meeting of wills here – Peck’s got plenty of other stuff to worry about before and after that little engagement, however…

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Shout Factory Zaps Out Another “B”-Flick Sci-Fi Bundle…

Posted on August 16, 2013 by geelw

Nice. At a measly $6.95, these four sci-fi “classics” of assorted quality (mostly of the “so bad they’re awesome” variety) work out to a no-brainer “BUY ME!” price of $1.75 each, which is a BARGAIN if you love old cheese and don’t mind falling off your couch or chair in a heap a few times.

Of this new set of four, Reptilicus is pretty darn amazing as it fails on so many levels (to a jaw-dropping extreme, in fact) but makes for a surprising great visitor’s guide to Denmark’s nightlife (you’ll see). And of course, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die is completely mind-blowing in many ways for what it brings to the table. See it and you’ll get my stupid puns in that last sentence. I’ll make sure I’m out of town when you come to chase after me with a blunt object. The other two are also pretty awesome in that bad way, but it’s been a few years since I’ve seen either (which means I just may have to get this disc at some point)…

I actually didn’t know this the the second entry in this series of MGM non-masterpieces (calling them “classics” is a bit of a stretch that makes me smile and almost feel sorry for someone who grabs these thinking they’ve discovered solid gold in the trash heap). The first disc’s a doozy as well, but EVERYONE who considers himself a sci-fi or “B” movie fanatic needs to have seen Angry Red Planet and The Man From Planet X at least once before they flee this mortal coil.The again, if these are your bucket list flicks… you’ve either seen way too many movies or just not enough. Consider taking long walks (at least five miles a day) and drinking a gallon of prune juice a week. You’ll live longer than your buddies laughing at you for liking such lousy films.

“Why so serious?” You ask? Well, you might actually drop dead after seeing these flicks if you go in thinking they’re “great” and your brain rage quits on you, but hey, what’s life without a little risk, I say? Don’t choke on that popcorn either, stay away from diet soda and watch out for the cat when you plop down on the couch (it’s hiding under that big pillow again, me-ow!)…

Audience Participation Time: Help Me Pick A Movie!

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

OK, I usually don’t do this, but I got the idea to try something new for fun. I’ve been seeing a load of deals on movies in assorted size collections and box sets and I’m considering picking up a bunch of them over time. However, for the purposes of this post, I’ll pick two and let you vote on them in the comments section. I’ll most likely get both (the prices are too stupidly low to pass up – as in under five dollars each), but you’ll be able to help me decide which one to spring for first. And no, I don’t stream or torrent (I don’t do the eye patch stuff and my hard drives are packed to the gills with Steam/gog.com/Desura/assorted indie games anyway), so no need to tell me I can get all these for free somewhere.

Your (well, MY) choices are:

Ready, FIGHT!

I’m thinking Hitch will win this one handily by sheer size alone (ba-dum-bum!), but you never know. And nope – you don’t win a prize for affecting my buying decision. However, I will give you a hearty Kane clap as thanks in advance:

Hey…That’s got to count for SOMETHING these days, right?

Random Film of the Week: Bulletproof

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, H83tr3d!)

Some movies are SO incredibly bad that it’s hard to hate them when you’re nearly dying from laughing so hard at and with them. 1988’s not quite epic action (yet must-see if you love really terrible films) masterpiece, Bulletproof is one of those films for a whole load of reasons from having Gary Busey as its star to the tricked out (and stupidly large) Thunderblast tank that looks as if it was designed by a room full of 12 year old boys with a box of plastic model tank kits he’s after once it’s stolen and taken to Mexico or something.

Actually, the brain-frying plot isn’t even important as much as watching Busey as Frank “Bulletproof” McBain blow away “butthorns”, survive all sorts of death threats and attempts, try hard to get the girl and even play the saxaphone at one point. You’ll probably start grinning less than two minutes in and once the laughs start, they’ll be hard to stop as one scene tops another for sheer overkill or just plain “WTF did I just watch”-ness. Of course, seeing Busey in too-tight jeans running around shooting up the scenery might put you off your food, but just watch the bodies fall or avert your eyes if you feel the need to…

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Odds ‘n Ends, DVD Division…

Posted on August 9, 2013 by geelw

OK, Some of these flicks have already been written up as Random Films of the Week here and I’ll eventually get to anything I haven’t put up a post about at some point. Yeah, yeah, Possession and Across 110th Street aren’t US-issued DVD’s, but both are really nice looking (and cheap) South Korean versions I stumbled upon while poking around eBay looking for other DVD’s. Oh, stop with the finger waggling, chief. Hell, try and find Possession (which NEEDS an new Blu-Ray/DVD combo release one of these days) for a decent price ans anything other than an overpriced beat up rental copy and well… good luck on that one.

An nope, I don’t do the streaming thing at all as I live with a crap connection and actually PREFER a physical disc. That and I prefer watching movies from a few feet away and not with my nose half a foot or less from a handheld screen. My old eyeballs can’t do that crap with movies on tiny screens and I’ll also be cooler than you hipsters and crazy kids with your dee-vices because I’ll be able to see better than you when you’re my age, ha ha…

Random Film of the Week: Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

Posted on August 9, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, criterioncollection!)

If you’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-produced and directed film noir masterpiece, drop what you’re doing (well, unless you’re operating heavy machinery or in the middle of something where dropping anything will cause a major or minor disaster) and go look this one up. You’re guaranteed to say something like “What the…” at least two or three (or a dozen) times while watching this one, trust me. Mike Hammer is supposed to be a hard as nails private eye, but in this flick, he spends about a quarter of the film either getting chased, beaten up, shot at and otherwise maimed by assorted people who want him out of the picture he’s supposed to be starring in.

Deviating quite dramatically from the Mickey Spillane novel, this one’s a blazing hot mix of a downward spiral into a particularly dark hell for private eye Mike Hammer (masterfully played by Ralph Meeker), who has so many brushes with death here that the film ends up having a nasty comic edge thanks to the level of violence on display. No one here escapes unscathed, as everyone either wants Hammer dead or disabled (or both) and the few people on his side tend to drop like flies or come pretty close to it. The film also offers up a big twist at the end that turns it into a sort of wild sci-fi flick, but I won’t spoil that surprise other than to say it’s a big reason the film is so insanely brilliant…

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Random Film of the Week(end): Invasion of the Bee Girls

Posted on August 3, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, DST3K!)

Was Invasion of the Bee Girls a modern feminist film disguised as a stupidly sexy 70’s exploitation flick? I’d say hell no, but for all its nudity and pervy middle-aged to old coots getting bedded and bumped off by a bevy of shapely babes with the power to kill any guy they mate with, there’s probably a message in there somewhere. I actually remember seeing this one as a kid one afternoon when it popped up on TV as a heavily edited (but still ridiculously racy) flick and it being a pretty hot topic at school the next day.

As I’ve “matured” and checked out the uncut version a few times since (hey, ONLY for research purposes!), it’s clear that all those hot and bothered guys (and a few gals) knew a while lot more about the birds and the bees that I did at that tender age…

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