Don’t Let Stuff Bug You, Live Longer!

Posted on January 17, 2015 by geelw

This is pretty common sense stuff, but we all need to be occasionally reminded that a bit of positive thinking will keep you alive a bit longer. According to a new study from the University of Illinois (along with a few of other studies like this one that show similar results). Yeah, yeah. I know some of you happen to people who like your gloomy outlooks, black roses floating in your bath water and droning music while you cook your dinner while smoking three cigarettes at once and drinking gin from the bottle. But think of living longer like this: You get to be around longer to spread your glum tidings and gain a few new followers. That is, should you be a part of any sort of social scene and actually care about that sort of thing. Anyway, cheer up and be glad you’re not hiding in a cave from hard to kill grabby giant wasps.

That said, you’ll probably get blind-sided by some stroller pushing super-mom on her cellphone right into the path of a bus, however. Stop wearing those sunglasses at night next time and maybe cut down to a pack a day so you can see outside the range of the cloud of smoke you’re usually hidden under. You may thank me later if you like. This has been a public service announcement.

Random Art: It’s Not Really A Day Off, As I’m Still Breathing…

Posted on January 13, 2015 by geelw

Yuck. Between the cold weather outside, the home being too toasty (hey, at least the heat is on, but yikes, does it get steamy up in here!) and someone who moved back in recently with his nasty smoking habit (who needs to quit before he gets beaten senseless or drops dead himself), I’m a bit under the weather today.

(Thanks, chshaw87!)

Well, it’s not THAT bad, but past experience tells me that if I get too occupied with cranking out work when I’m starting to get sick, I usually end up this way in a few days. Anyway, I’m going to go out for a short walk (I ran out of aspirin and need a refill), pop back in to get some resty-rest and be back tomorrow with more intelligent things to say. Have a tree in the meantime.

See you all tomorrow. Or perhaps later if I pop up and feel less froggy and possessed.

Holding Patterns: While You Wait, Shall We Dance?

Posted on January 7, 2015 by geelw

Well, today I’m working on some CES and other posts for the other site I’m writing for, GamerFitNation, but I don’t want to leave you all un-entertained here while I get stuff done elsewhere. Here’s a fun sequence from 1944’s The Canterville Ghost to watch and grin over. Just track down the complete film and watch it, as it’s a pretty amusing take on the old Oscar Wilde story you may or may not have read in grade school. Or seen on a small or large screen, as it’s been made into a few TV movies and films over the years. Alrighty, I’ll be back in a bit…

Movies I (Still) Need To See #1: The Power

Posted on January 5, 2015 by geelw

As I watch a wee bit too much of TCM when I’m not doing anything constructive, I’ve ended up with a mighty long list of films I need to see before I shuffle off this mortal coil. Not all of these films are important or even good, mind you. But I feel it’s my civic duty to entertain myself as much as possible. Or, to quote The Police: “When the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around”. Anyway, I figure I may as well kick of another series of articles about films I haven’t seen yet in the hope that some of you get the idea and start bucket-listing flicks you’d like to see. Anyway, kicking things off is The Power, the George Pal produced 1968 sci-fi thriller that I’ve only seen in the 1967 MGM Lionpower promo feature that pops up from time to time on TCM.

That footage made me laugh because the film predates David Cronenberg’s 1981 classic horror/sci-fi hybrid Scanners by 13 years and almost comes off as an influence in a few ways. Granted, Cronenberg’s films stand up well enough on their own. But this oldie looks like it would make a nice companion piece to the newer film (and should certainly be better than the pair of non-Cronenberg directed Scanners sequels that sunk whatever franchise rights the first film had. Not that it needed a sequel in the first place, mind you. Anyway, that’s the first film I could think of, NOT the first one on my list of films. That’s just how I roll, people… randomly. Which, by the way, is a habit I’m trying to break. Back in a bit…

Random Films: Robo Vampire Makes My Monday More Tolerable…

Posted on January 5, 2015 by geelw

(thanks, andybluefox!)

Well, the plasterer is at lunch for an hour (yes, he left before noon!), so there’s a pause in today’s nightmare. In the meantime, after taking some more pinup photos of the wreckage in the kitchen, to keep my sanity level somewhere close to normal I’ve been catching up on some bad movies. Godfrey Ho’s 1988 howler Robo Vampire made my morning thanks to it being even worse (and much funnier) than its title suggests. Swiping badly from Paul Verhoeven’s stellar Robocop is bad enough to dismiss this without even watching it. But toss in hopping ghosts (wait, how does a cyborg fight ghosts outside of some seven-year old kid’s notebook scribbles?), mercenaries, long water torture scenes and slow, dull “chases” and editing that makes the film seem like three or four movies spliced together and you get an instant classic. Well, “classic” in that “How the hell did this ever get made?” manner. Seriously. I’ve seen student films with better quality EVERYTHING than this clunker.

Ah well. Everything exists for a reason, I suppose. This crazy flick just kept me laughing through the continuing (and seemingly never ending) mess that is my apartment. I suppose I should thank Mill Creek Entertainment somewhere in all this because I’m too lazy and busy to seek out and download all those public domain flicks I paid ten bucks for and still consider that a steal because that’s time and bandwidth money I didn’t need to waste. Back in a bit…

Finally Friday: Let Cary Show You Some Moves For That New Year’s Party…

Posted on December 26, 2014 by geelw

Other than a clip here and there over the years, I’d actually never seen all of Stanley Donen’s 1958 film Indiscreet until a few days back when I was up late stressing over some stuff. Yeah, the kitchen and other major repair jobs that are needed but seem to be hard to impress on the folks who run this place about how urgently they need to get taken care of. Bleh. Anyway, it’s an interesting and not quite perfect film about a woman (Ingrid Bergman) who thinks she’ll never find love who ends up falling for a man (Cary Grant) who she thinks is married. There’s more and a twist or three, but I’ll let you track this down and watch it if you’ve yet to, as it’s a fun film to wile away some time.

I’d have to say this dance sequence was the funniest thing I’d seen in a while at that hour of the morning, as I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t sleep afterwards thanks to the scene replaying itself in my head a few times. While I knew that Grant could hoof it like a maniac when he needed to in his earlier films, I didn’t think he did any fancy dancing this late in his career. That, and the scene is played entirely for laughs and gets them even when seen in that out of context clip above. Anyway, study those moves well and use them at that New Year’s party you’ve been invited to. I’d bet those steps work with any modern uptempo beat and I’d also bet that someone’s going to try and out-step you at some point on that dance floor. Of course, if they’re not in on the gag and have never seen this film, they’ll look a lot more foolish than you do, that’s for sure…

Random Film of the Week(end): Mister Freedom

Posted on December 20, 2014 by geelw

All this Sony madness surrounding The Interview made me think of a few films that either got some controversy upon their release in other countries, but I also thought of William Klein’s never released to the western public Mister Freedom, a masterpiece of absurdity that begs to be seen. Take the overall wackier bits from Dr. Strangelove, add in a jingoistic, xenophobic, sexist, quick to rile all-American superhero modeled after Superman and Captain America, add a ton of absurd visual elements and shake well.

For a film made in 1969, this one so far ahead of its time that some viewers may be shocked at what they see taking place. On the other hand, the film also shows that old adage “The more things change, the more they stay the same” is all too true in terms of politics and other targets ripe for satire. Klein, a famed fashion photographer and American expatriate living in France, made one of those films that will outrage some and make the rest laugh at as well as with it exactly as its director intended… Continue reading →

Enough of This Stupid Sunday. Let’s Go Dancing!

Posted on December 14, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, Swudanst Harlow!)

Sure, why not? A little freshly made bathtub gin (wooo!), maybe a few attempts to do the Charleston without looking too dumb flailing around, maybe a burger later at a cheap diner? Yeah, I could go for some of that action tonight. Who’s with me? (Checks wallet, moths flit out)… Er, you’d be buying this time because I’ve just blown all my cash on lighting up the kitchen floor like an airline runway. Hey, how about this? Just come on over with a pound of ground and I’ll make the burgers. Oh, and bring some buns with you as well. I’ll toast them up for those patties nice and warm. I’ve got an onion left and the old cast iron pan got a good seasoning on it earlier this week, so those burgers will be extra tasty. What, you want to being those big portabella you get from the farmer’s market instead? Sure, fine – that’s probably even better and healthier. So, sure, why not?

I’ll be here and up a bit late, thanks to needing to make those signs I posted for the plasterer a bit bigger. You know, just in case they send a new guy to do the plaster job who’s got worse eyesight than the last two. Better safe than sorry, right? Now, hurry up and get on over here – I’m getting hungry and I just pressed a pair of pants! Okay, I was sitting on them for the last hour, but same result once I put them on and stand up. Oh, I have mustard and ketchup too. I might need some more coffee, though. It seems to magically disappears around here like someone’s eating it right out of the can. I hope it not a mouse or anything like that. I don’t need a hopped up rodent around here jazzed on java keeping me up all night…

(Mystery Rodent): Wooooo!

Kitchen Nightmares IV: Now, I Need to Get Plastered!

Posted on December 9, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, WilliamClaudeFields!)

So, between the driving rain outside driving me batty and the insanely awful job the plasterers did in the kitchen. Photos to come, but as a call was placed to bitch about the work, I’m holding out for a redo before I rant about the job here and elsewhere. In a nutshell, the trim around the kitchen ceiling was ripped out during the asbestos abatement, but the plasterers didn’t bother to fill in the gaps around about 3/4 of the kitchen, so there’s a noticeable gap AND some hideous exposed wood even a blind man could see. Not to mention assorted small holes that were missed, a LARGE chunk of the wall under the sink that was knocked out during phase one that no one bothered to fix and a small spot under a cabinet where there’s now a loose piece of plaster mice can pop into. It’s like a little doggie door in my damn wall! Yaaaaaaah.

All I ask for is people who know how to do a job and do it well. What do I get? More stress I really don’t need. Well, that won’t stand, folks. Back in a bit once I get something to eat and perhaps a nap or two. It’s been a loooooong day and I despise incompetence.

Kitchen Nightmares III: Holding Patterns (and Who Can I Sue If I Drop Dead of Starvation?)…

Posted on November 30, 2014 by geelw

So, the kitchen here still hasn’t been returned to its normal state, but the work is set to begin on December 5th. The stove can still be used, but once the sun goes down, you’re taking your life in your hands if you try to chop anything in the kitchen. Sure, I can sit in the living room and get all rustic with a cutting board in my lap or on the coffee table, but there’s something so odd about doing this (and yeah, one slip means I’ll be adding a body part to whatever I’m cooking). I’ll have to bug the management here about some sort of cooking/meal solution once the repair/rebuilding work gets underway. Once it starts, the kitchen will be off limits for at least four days straight and then a few days more after a weekend break. Bleh. I hope to hell they don’t think I’ll be ordering out or eating fast food for all that time, as that’s not a good idea for me for a few reasons.

(Thanks, SeriouslyDead!)

Feh, at this point I just want this long national nightmare to be over so I can go back to living like a normal person. Maybe I’ll slap on some zombie makeup and start groaning at the workmen when they show up to spur them to get the job done faster. Then again, the lack of craftsmanship and care here is pretty shocking. The team that removed the asbestos from the kitchen had a fat guy who busted the burners on the stove AND chipped the paint on the stove because he stood on them when he was doing the ceiling. Gyahhh. I despise that sort of idiocy. Okay, let me go lie down before I bust something.