Dark Souls II Update: 18 New Screens, Same Old Waiting For That Release Date To Roll Around…

Behold, adventurers! Or something like that. Okay, I got lazy and didn’t convert the LAST set of Dark Souls II screens from bitmap to JPEG (WordPress HATES bitmaps, it seems!), but thankfully, Denny Chiu at Namco Bandai still likes me (Hi, Denny!). Thanks to him, my inbox was blessed with these new screens I will more than verily happily share with you below:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

There, that was simple enough, right? I’ll get those other screens up soon as well with an appropriately goofy post about why it took so damn long. I blame a faulty TARDIS circuit, a rogue dinosaur and a bag of shrimp chips past its sell date, but that excuse may change…

HUMOR: Arnold Has His Own Tank. YOU Try Telling Him He’s A Hypocrite…

(thanks, GovSchwarzenegger!) 

Yeah, that’s your big advice from the big man today. I say you zip it and do what he says lest you want him to turn that turret around and point his big gun your way. You just got around to fixing that train hole in your wall from my earlier post, right? I thought so. And put those darn thumb tacks away, silly. Tanks don’t have tires you can pop like in some old cartoon. The only way to stop a tank from moving (other than blow it up) is to disable its treads, and for that you’ll need a sticky bomb. What, you don’t have a field manual handy there? Just clear out your sock drawer of orphans and go look under the sink for that old Composition B you stocked up on when you went to Costco last year and bought in bulk because it was 99 cents for 20 pounds and you thought it was some sort of all-purpose cleaner. Yeah, we’ll show Arnold a thing or three. Oh, you’ll want socks WITHOUT holes in the heels, as that would be a bit self-defeating (and how!)…

Back on Track! Mostly! Maybe!

(thanks, DukeBoy01

OK, in case you missed it, in yesterday’s episode I thought it was Wednesday and almost messed up an appointment I had today (the ACTUAL Wednesday) and tomorrow (the day after today, actually). SUSPENSE! Actually, I wasn’t entirely at fault, as the lady on the radio news station said it was Wednesday at one point, I got an email about an appointment that said tomorrow (today!) was Wednesday and that stupid dream I had after I fell asleep too late early Tuesday morning made it seem as if I’d gotten stuff done all day, gone home and went to sleep. So, yeah – I was more than shocked to find out around 7PM or so yesterday that my time traveling wasn’t real after all and nope, none of the work I’d done in my sleep carried over to the real world. Crap. I need to fix that one of these days. Or maybe not sleep at all whenever possible. Er, sorry about that train sized hole in your wall, folks. I was looking for something cool to catch your eye in this boring post and that was the first thing to come to mind…

Anyway, we now resume out regular broadcast, already in progress… (or: Man, I have a LOT of catching up to do!)

300: Rise of an Empire Trailer 2: Is It Miller Time Again? I Need A Beer…

The funny thing about this trailer (at least to me) is the formerly innovative filming technique used so well by Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez in Sin City, then Zach Snyder in 300 has been run so far into the ground that it’s a parody of itself to people like me who’ve seen it used and overused to assorted degrees of success and failure by a few too many directors who should know better (or just don’t). Now, as Snyder is only writing and producing this sequel, it’s all up to newcomer Noam Murro to direct himself out of the corner this comic-frame technique has placed anyone who’s used it since 2005 into. Granted, this one should be a total blockbuster because we seem to love this sort of stylized violence and all.

300WCU

Nevertheless, in my case… as soon as I see or hear of a release date my home video watch clock starts a-tickin’ away with the counting down stuff and I get to take a half-assed (but sometimes reliable) guess on how long it will take before that big deal over-hyped AAA flick ends up coming to a store near you at a decent day-one discount if you pre-order…

Random Film of the Week: The Big Heat

(thanks, MJmichand!)

The Big Heat MPSergeant Dave Bannion has absolutely ZERO luck with attractive women in Fritz Lang’s absolute classic 1953 noir The Big Heat. Granted, our initially 100% by-the-book cop (ably portrayed by Glenn Ford) IS a married man with a young daughter, so he doesn’t need to be around the ladies he ends up getting into trouble at all. Unfortunately, in one way or another they’re part of the case he’s working on, so he’s like a black cat in a suit here. Nearly every lady he comes across in this film goes through some sort of hell when and after he’s around that makes him some sort of magnet for bad luck and worse outcomes.

It’s a wonder he makes it through the film in one piece at all despite the efforts of some bad men to keep him off their cases and yes, far away from those doomed dames. For its time, the amount of violence and even some language was probably considered shocking by some viewers, and in at least one respect the film still packs a wallop. That wallop being Gloria Grahame’s portrayal of Debby Marsh, girlfriend of Lee Marvin’s overly brutal gangster-type, Vince Stone. But Stone is the least of Bannion’s problems when he investigates the suicide of a fellow police officer and gets wrapped up in some other things a wee bit over his head… Continue reading

Humor: Samsung’s 45K 4K HDTV Brings Out The Comedy Writers on Amazon…

Samsung UN85S9If anything brings out the division between rich and not so rich in this world, it’s new tech and the premium prices it fetches for new adopters. No one “NEEDS” an 85-inch television with 4K resolution (as of yet, no programming is made in 4K, so you’d be buying a set with potential) that costs $45,000, but some people who can afford this will indeed buy it and enjoy it. On the other hand, the folks whom use Amazon who can’t afford to drop what amounts to a year’s salary (or more for some) on a new telly have been REALLY busy writing up some of the funniest fake reviews I’ve ever read about an actual product. This is why I both hate and love the internet and I hope Samsung isn’t taking this too seriously while maybe thinking about selling its higher-end items somewhere where snarky isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when a high price point is a driving force for some hilariously biting comedy.

Hey, at LEAST the shipping is free. And it’s too damn heavy to get sent by one of Amazon’s upcoming drones… yeesh, what a crap idea.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Pre-Trailer Trailer: Wake Me When It’s Over Over…

I didn’t like the reboot at all for many reasons and I don’t think I’ll like this sequel equally at all either (he said, intentionally mangling the language with relish). If this one’s as overblown and underwhelming as the reboot was, I’m only going to be smiling when the people who think this will be better get what they deserve when they pay up for that movie ticket. Now, I don’t wish Spidey any ill will at all, mind you. I just wonder how a TV series would do as a weekly show or series of monthly movies that might cost a lot less than what’s looking like a CGI-packed ego project (with Stan Lee popping up in a cameo again). Then again, other than bits and pieces, none of the Spider-Man films has ever really been my favorite. I think I’ve seen the first one three times, but every other one except for the reboot twice. That one I saw once on cable and I almost changed the channel when (yet again) Peter Parker was mask-less for too long as if it’s contractually obligated for his secret identity to be revealed to as many people as possible at the most inopportune moments.

Bleh. Anyway, all these days of “Ooh, here comes the trailer!” trailers and the resulting foaming at the mouth and pants from the usual suspects online only add to the sense of desperation I sense going on from folks who so want this to be bigger than it needs to be. These folks so want the movie to be better than it is that they’ll fool themselves that it’s much more awesome than it actually turns out to be. Of course, that’s Hollywood these days, so I guess I can take it or leave it as usual. Leaving it gives me more time to do stuff I care about a lot more than a film with what’s going to be a four or less month trip to Blu-Ray at the end of the day…

Humble Jumbo Bundle: That Gaming Gift That Grows As You Pay…

Now, paying UNDER four bucks for this nifty set of games may seem like a good idea for you cheaper-skates out there, but that just means you’re NEW to how this Humble Indie Bundle thing works. If you pay MORE than the average price of four dollars (and yes, how much more is entirely up to you), you end up getting MORE games as they unlock when other like-minded smarties fill the pool. And remember, it’s a public pool, so don’t to peeing in there! Er, anyway, the more people ponying up pennies past the price point, the faster those unlocks unlock, it seems. Don’t see anything you like in that bundle? No biggie – poke around the Humble Store and/or check out the Humble Weekly Sale and perhaps you’ll find something to suit your fancy?

Remember, 10% goes to charity so you can buy up and veg out knowing you’re doing some good even if you’re just sitting on your behind for too long racking up a virtual body count, racing around at full speed on some fancy track or simulating something you wouldn’t normally do in real life.

Dead State Update: This Undead Survival RPG Is Still Alive And Kicking…

deadstate-website-headerlogo_new

Thanks to this year being SO packed with new games and a LOT more new indie games popping up on anything that can play them, Dead State nearly dropped off my radar. Thankfully, the folks at DoubleBear Productions seem to be at least part psychic as they’ve dropped that new video above on their YouTube channel that shows some nice progress on an upcoming demo version. The game’s Kickstarter backers and anyone who pre-ordered the game will get first dibs, of course, but I’m hoping there’s something for us media folk to dink around with at some point because this is the sort of game that needs some love from those of us who love games like this. I’m getting a heavy X-Com meets Jagged Alliance meets Fallout vibe from this one, all of which were (and still are) truly stellar tactical RPG experiences. Granted, some of those gamers who think this is a fast-paced kill-fest along the lines of a Left 4 Dead or Dead Island will be shocked (shocked, I say!) at the more deliberate pacing and need to think before you take any action here. But if this game makes some of that crowd learn to appreciate this style of game and gameplay, all’s the better, I’d say…

KontrolFreek Is Back With More On Target Goodies For Console FPS Fans!

KFPhantomThey’re baaaaaaack! The last time I reviewed a few products from KontrolFreek, they ended up disappearing from the home office when some friends popped over, checked them out and decided that I owned them some freebies for making the trek all the way up here or something. Yeah, guess who’s not getting invited back, chumps? Anyway, fortunately, Casi over at KontrolFreek was kind enough to shoot over a set of the new FPS Freek Phantom (MSRP $19.99) and after playing through Call of Duty: Ghosts and a few other FPS and non-FPS games, it’s safe to say that they perform exactly as expected. Which would be pretty darn fantastic.

As noted in my earlier review, the FPS Freek series of analog stick toppers adds height to those sticks and precision to your movements, allowing you to use LESS pressure when moving normally, sprinting or shooting in games, allowing for more accuracy and less funny looking thumbs after extended play sessions. It’s all ergonomics, people – that’s all you need to know and even if you’re the most skeptical buzzard on the block, one try should convince you within seconds that this is the way to go if you’re a big shooter fan. I’d say you club-fisted gamers will NEED to learn to not jam those sticks around because you might occasionally pop one of the Freeks off an Analog stick (they’ll snap right back on). But other than that, this is money well spent if you’re a fan of those high-action shooters and want that extra edge in solo or online play. Anyway, go boogie on over to the KF site, check out what they have to offer and feel free to check out their upcoming PlayStation 4 and Xbox One lineup, as they certainly aren’t going to forget about you next-gen owners one bit. yeah, you KNOW you want that extra edge…