Frankenstein Pumpkins? I Bet They’ll Have Universal Appeal…

Posted on October 13, 2014 by geelw

Oh, it’s a holiday today (a now controversial one to some folks), it’s gloomy out and I’m staring at a pile of stuff to do. Horrors! Anyway, between me ignoring all the big “important” gaming stories the internet is abuzz about these past few weeks (Corruption in “journalism”! TMI Sex stories! Entitled jerks wanting the impossible.. or else!) and me having way too much to do (which is why I ignore the internet), my brain is upside down and needing a rest. Trust me, I had three cups of coffee already today and it’s not even firing a spark plug upstairs.

(thanks, Movieclips Classic Trailers!)

That said, THIS story got me smiling for a bit this morning… to a point. California farmer Tony Dighera is probably going to become a very wealthy man in a short time thanks to a little ingenuity. I won’t bore you with a rewrite, just click here if you haven’t see what he’s whipped up. I just hope to heck Universal Studios or whomever owns the rights to that famous face knows this and is a good sport, or Mr. Dighera’s going to be supplying some lawyers or all of Universal Studios’ theme parks with those Pumpkins forever anda day (and a half). If they’re cool, they should pay him to make all the rest of the classic Universal monster lineup, I say. Although, at that current price point of at least $75 per pumpkin, only those set to leave the planet for Mars at some point will be able to afford one of these babies…

So, Whatcha Goin’ as for Halloween? Here’s an Idea for You…

Posted on October 11, 2014 by geelw

Um, yeah. Sure, you can buy one of these masks and wear it around here, pal. Just don’t wear one of these around me because I’m a native New Yorker and we don’t take to seeing over-sized pigeons and squirrels lightly at all. I’d be the one swinging the Manufacturers Hanover bank souvenir Yankee baseball bat and I’m sure some old lady would be coming at you with a can of illegal mace she keeps in her big old lady pocketbook. “Swing batta-batta-batta” POW! Actually, that old biddy would be packing some smelling salts in her bag to wake you up from the unconscious state. THEN she’d spray you like a cockroach with that mace. Yeah, you had it coming. Good thing they don’t make a rat mask. You’d get both barrels from the transit cops if that were the case…

Hikari Friday: Funko Frees Funky Frankensteins For Fortunate Few!

Posted on October 3, 2014 by geelw

Oh, these two Funko Hikari giveaways this week are pretty cool-looking takes on the Universal version of Frankenstein’s Monster. First up, that Glitter Shock Frankenstein Hikari Sofubi Figure (#1 0f 1200) looks as if he fell out of a passing UFo and landed on is flat head, doesn’t he? Those eerie black eyes, that almost glowing green complexion… yeah, he’s Space Frankenstein’s Monster for sure:

Meanwhile, poor Premium Distressed Frankenstein Hikari Sofubi Figure (#1 of 600 and an Entertainment Earth EXCLUSIVE, by the way) looks pretty pissed off because he’s just woken up and there’s not a cup of coffee or Egg McMutton to be found anywhere and everyone knows you HAVE to feed the monster or else he gets cranky. Either that, or he’s already had breakfast and is all ready to head out and play. Um, I’d get any little flower-picking girls away from any bodies of water, folks.

As usual, you know the drill – hit up one of Funko’s social network spots:

http://www.facebook.com/OriginalFunko
http://www.twitter.com/OriginalFunko
Instagram @OriginalFunko

Enter and get to the crossing of fingers and wearing of assorted good luck charms in order to bring some lucky luck your merry way. If you lose this time out (again?), you can always hit up your favorite Funko retailer for Glitter Shock Frankie in November and Entertainment Earth in December for that Premium Distressed Frankie. Good luck otherwise!

Even (or Especially) The No Tech Lifestyle Leads to Trouble!

Posted on October 1, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, Sleaze-O-Rama!)

Okay, so I’ve heard technology called “the devil!” many times over the years and while out perambulating around, overheard some woman yelling the ears off her kid about her fervent desire for him to not spend ANY time online, even for schoolwork (does that rate a “Yikes!” or a “Yikes?” people? I’m confused here). Anyway, that rant that made a few people within earshot laugh out loud and/or give the Mother from Heck odd looks made me think of what her sonny boy will end up getting into thanks to him not being able to go online at all. I guess you can say… the devil makes work for idle hands. Hmmm. I think Horatio Caine can retire now, wouldn’t you say? No? Eh, whatever. Get back to work, you!

Psst! Hey You. Wanna See A Free Horror Movie? How About Two?

Posted on October 31, 2013 by geelw

Ah, public domain movies… free to watch without the guilt (or smugness or those who don’t believe in guilt) of messy piracy to fret about. Anyway, what are YOU doing home on Halloween? I’m here posting stuff because I’m behind on updates this month and need to keep you kids quiet while I catch up a little. So go make some popcorn, get a big fizzy drink (or non-fizzy if that’s your thing), plop down in front of your tee-vee (OK, monitor) and catch these two 1970’s vampire flicks. Yeah, it’s Count Dracula’s Great Love and Countess Dracula, so if you’ve seen them already, feel free to change the channel or go to bed early. Speaking if going to bed early, these aren’t for young kids or anyone allergic to exposed pretty lady parts (hey, I took a few anatomy classes, so boobs bother me not), dubbed English dialog and plenty of fake looking stage blood. Now that MY ass is covered (hey, it’s chilly in here!), enjoy the films!

Speaking of Halloween, Here’s Your Music for the Day…

Posted on October 31, 2013 by geelw

So, on the way to where I’m at now, I overheard some kids talking about scary music for Halloween and in passing, I didn’t hear anything scary coming out of their mouths but I immediately though of my go-to Halloween song ever since I heard it on the soundtrack to 1987’s horror/humor film I Was a Teenage Zombie. While this campy gore flick isn’t exactly a “classic” to some genre fans, it’s funny in spots and yes, has some icky scenes that will put the squeamish behind a chair with a blanket on their heads.

That said, it’s the film’s soundtrack that’s the most amazing thing about it. The Fleshtones, Violent Femmes, Alex Chilton, Smithereens, Los Lobos, Del Fuegos all contributed some great tunes to this flick, but it’s Dream Syndicate’s eerie slow burner, Halloween that kills everything else here. Yes, it sounds like a Velvet Underground or Lou Reed song (that’s part of the charm), but it creeps into your ears with a fade in, has a brilliant, moody guitar solo and if you happen to be listening to it while walking down a dark street, the last lines in the song will make you either look over your shoulder or walk backwards until you’re in a better lit location.

Of course… if you’re walking backwards down a dark street, people will either be scared of you. Especially if you were smart enough to be wearing a homemade hoodie with an invunche face painted or stitched on that hood you have on your head. That will freak anyone out, even the craziest movie killing machine. You’re welcome and I get 17% if you steal my idea and start selling your version on etsy.

Two Reads From Dark Horse For The Scary Season…

Posted on October 31, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, yeah… I know for SOME of you every day is scary, but get up and out in the sunshine once in a while and you’ll see that people aren’t SO bad after all. Then again, Halloween most certainly seems like a more than good time to stay IN after a certain hour in some places, so you’ve hopefully stocked up on food and drink, have enough TP to last a while and maybe some nice and scary movies queued up on your favorite device. Yeah, I know you still use that Betamax, so I was purposefully being vague in that previous sentence…

Now, If you’re a reader and like your things with words a bit on the scary side, you may as well venture out before it gets too dark and boogie on over to your nearest comics emporium just to pick up these two finely illustrated fright-filled tomes from the fine folks at Dark Horse Comics. Tales From the Crypt: The EC Archives – Volume 4 is a chilling collection of classic 1950’s horror from some of the best in the business back then and despite their age, the pre-Comics Code tales of terror and that excellently detailed art will have your eyeballs dancing in their sockets as your brain tells them to calm down so it can process that scary stuff it’s trying to also see.

“Feh!” you say? Followed by “Aw, how can some old smelly comic that’s older than my granny be SCARY?” and a smug “They didn’t even HAVE horror back then!”. Well there, dear troll child… let me give you a taste of things to come… Continue reading →

My Halloween Plans? I’ll Probably Go As Nostalgia…

Posted on October 31, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, allPublicDomain!)

I actually have no plans for Halloween, but if I did and had unlimited funds, I’d dress up as a movie screen and walk around showing people stuff that would blow their minds. All you fans of those modern Batman and other “retro” looking cartoons want to know where they got that funky art style from? BOOM! – here’s a classic Max Fleischer Superman cartoon that still blasts all that modern stuff out of the water. You’re one of those who like that stupidly snappy editing straight out of a music video where you can’t tell what the hell is going on? BANG! – You get Orson Welles’ F for Fake coming your way down the block.

Yeah, I’ll even hit you with the original uncut version of GREED once I get that damned time machine repaired. Some old drunk in a seedy Baltimore bar back in 1957 told me where to find a pristine print, but the damn control box blew all six fuses when I was on the way back from a detour for some dinosaur sightseeing and I’m now stuck here in 2013. The gal who can fix the thing lives in 1942 and works at a Navy shipyard. And nope, Radio Shack does NOT have the parts I need (although they DID back in 1978). Oh well, it’s not So bad here in the present if I don’t watch the news at all…

Random Indie Game of the Week: Vampire Volleyball? Okay, I’ll Bite…

Posted on October 24, 2013 by geelw

Well, I was in quite an emo mood earlier, as things were quite bumpy on the whole me getting stuff I needed to get done DONE department. So thank goodness for Retro 64’s just released Vampire Volleyball for helping me kill some time with a smile rather than kill my laptop for freaking out for the better part of the day. It’s pretty simple to hop into and good silly fun for a while, those round-headed vamps and their fight to be champs against some foes who don’t all play clean. The nice thing is, the game is out for FREE on four of the six platforms it’s playable on (Windows, Mac, Linux, and Flash) while Android and iOS versions will set you back a mere 99 cents US. At that price (or FREE if you’re luckier to be a “low-tech” kinda guy or gal), it’s a definite must and you may find yourself calling on a friend to give you a fang, as the game supports two players.

Of course, SOME of you too strict sporty-sport fans will note that these globe-domed bloodsuckers and other creeps knock that ball around with their HEADS like it’s a soccer ball (or football in countries other than the US), but who’s going to stop a vampire from doing what it wants? YOU, Van Helsing? Well good luck with that, then. I’ll see you (or at least your head) in the game as the ball being butted over that net for the score, Spike…

Humor: My Potential Halloween Costume Options (If I Were To Venture Outside That Day)…

Posted on October 15, 2013 by geelw

I don’t go out on Halloween anymore because I’m old, slow, cranky in crowds and shouldn’t eat so much candy. All that and it’s just not safe in this city under certain circumstances. I used to pop out in costume and attend all sorts of activities up until the late 80’s/early 90’s so all those memories (fading or not) suit me fine. That said, thanks to a recent wave of nostalgia hitting me over the head, I’ve decided to at least go to the trouble of picking out potential costume ideas if I was going to hit the Halloween party circuit this year. Both choices are from ancient TV ads I saw too many times growing up and yeah, both outfits are bizarre in their own ways for a number of reasons. Anyway, the first one is cool because I actually never liked Fig Newtons all that much until I saw this ad. Later on, I could blame D.H. Lawrence for making me confused about figs, but that’s another story for another time, *ahem*…

(thanks, BICUSAWriting!)

As for that other costume, hey – who doesn’t like bananas that can draw cartoons? Well, I know a few folks who despise them (well, just the bananas part) and I used to hate them myself for a while. But they’re LOADED with potassium and other good stuff and I need that good stuff to keep breathing. I was thinking of a few other costume options, but I don’t even think anyone would even get a huge box of Calgon strolling down the street other than a few old ladies who’d chase me down and ask for free samples. Or I’d be chased down the street by actual Asians calling me a racist for my stupid cardboard and paint outfit. Who knew nostalgia could be so dangerous to one’s health?

Hmmm… maybe I’ll stay home after all and just watch spooky flicks on TCM all day. Yeah, that’s the ticket…