Men Aren’t Useless #103: Behold, The BRIEFCASE ARCADE!

Posted on January 11, 2014 by geelw

Hey, last week I heard some loud ladies on the street say that “Men are useless!” and while I do indeed agree we are on some fronts, sometimes we knock it out of the park big time. Er, at least as far as making cool as hell stuff goes. Well, cool stuff that doesn’t involve actual explosives, booze or some sort of automatic magazine pin-up dispenser as an all-in-one solution to multiple non-problems.

I don’t even know who Travis Reynolds is, but he’s my *new* best friend because he has created the (ta-dah!) Briefcase Arcade or Businesscade or Briefcade. Some call it the “Arcase”, but that sounds kinda lame (to me at least). Oh, it’s not built completely from scratch, mind you – that would be TOO genius and make him automatic King of the Known Universe… Continue reading →

PlayStation Plus Actually Pays For Itself In January Alone. Wow. (But…)

Posted on December 28, 2013 by geelw

That said, I think even Sony realizes the insanity of forcing PS4 owners to pay for the “privilege” of multiplayer gaming on their new console. Stick around until the end of this trailer and note how that stupid little thing about paying to play online is shoved in quickly at the end. Granted, they just hit you on the head HARD with the free games mallet and you’re already so dizzy you didn’t even realize you’d whipped out that credit card and signed up. The free games are MORE than worth that $50 and yes, Sony’s not kidding about that “instant game library” thing. The drawback to this is STORAGE space, as even though you get free cloud saves and a nicely sized HDD this time out (which is still small when you consider the size of some new games), you can’t access them should PSN go down for the count for a few days or even a few hours for simple maintenance.

Thankfully, the PS4 will play disc games and anything you have stored locally offline if the game has offline play. Anyway, I think they need to DUMP the requirement to pay to play MP games, as it’s NOT a privilege at all. If a game is made to be played online, any fee should be part of the price of the game, period. Asking people to pony up as part of a package is lame, even if they do get what amounts to a few thousand bucks a year in free content. Granted, having thee time to PLAY all those freebies AND buy and play NEW games requires either quitting one’s day job, renting out a TARDIS so you can go back in time to fire up a game, complete it and go back to start a new one and some other time magic. But hey, who can pass up FREE when the buffet is so tantalizing?

NIS America’s Holiday Sale is On. And Your Wallet Has Just Gone Off!

Posted on December 2, 2013 by geelw

BOOM. Yeah, you thought you were going to get away clean, huh? Nope and nope. If you’re a JRPG fanatic or an anime nut, well… the NISA Online Store wants your money and they’ll do all they can to take it from you while you smile and click away. Some stuff is already SOLD OUT, but there are plenty of cool game and DVD deals plus some other cool stuff worth your while to check out. As mother says… “Knock yourself out!” and “Don’t spend it all in one place!”

VGA 101: Fighting Games I’d Rather Be Playing Other Than Killer Instinct…

Posted on November 22, 2013 by geelw

Hmm. So, a friend who snapped up his Xbox One at midnight called me over today to play some games and Killer Instinct was one of them. I was not impressed. Granted, I’ve never liked KI all that much for a few reasons, but I respect anyone who can put up with its quirks on the SNES and even more of its quirks as a launch title for Microsoft’s $500 ego-center deluxe. Paying for characters piecemeal in a fighter may be the hot new thing, but while I was combo-ing away like a chump and winning a few rounds against my pal (he still kicked my butt around the room after about 20 minutes of us both fiddling with those yuck-worthy triggers on that new controller which work BEAUTIFULLY in Forza 5 but not for a fighting game), I kept thinking of the somewhat lousy pay to unlock “deal” going on here.

After about two hours of next-gen thrills, I hoofed it home thinking of something to write about and ended up walking in the door, yanking a few fighting games (or fighting game hybrids) I’d rather have played down from the PlayStation section of the library, snapped a few pictures and here you go. As many characters as you can stand all on discs and not stacked with fees or “coming soon” features. Granted, you cool kids who don’t mind the enforced evolution of mandatory DLC and playing games that aren’t exactly finished because you’ll be buying in for as long as you can stand it (or longer as you get lured into the pay schemes here and on the way) will be all over this one like bees on a bear trying to steal their honey. Me, I’m a plug an play guy for life and it seems some of these new consoles and me won’t get along like best buddies anytime soon. But if this sort of thing floats your particular boat, knock yourself right on out and pay (and then pay again)…

Jimmy Fallon vs. Xbox One: The “Who”, “What” or “Where” Show Returns…

Posted on November 21, 2013 by geelw

Yes, it’s usually pretty crazy on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, but just what the heck was this confusing mess of a live demo? Yeah, the Xbox One has SO many things packed into that black box that it was hard to tell what was going on. I did note that Kinect wasn’t used for the menu navigation (as it seems to have issues with more than a few people in a room according to some early press), Forza 5 got a few seconds of play (not by Jimmy) that showed off some lovely visuals before things switched to the camera scanning Jimmy earlier (and making an awful likeness) and there was some playing of that new Kinect Sports game with Will Forte. Ugh. Meanwhile, that Microsoft rep was no Ron Popeil at all, trying to cram too much talk into a handful of minutes.

Look, if you’re trying to sell an all-in-one living room dominator/media center/juicer to the non gaming public and it indeed does WAY too much for a mere under five minute demo… you need a longer sales pitch. I don’t think that sloppy mess last night was selling any consoles to anyone who wasn’t already buying one because other than Jimmy drooling about the new controller too long, it really didn’t show off much other than pretty visuals and a lot of “wait, what was that?” before it ended. Eh, whatever – we’ll see what happens when the system rolls out later today. Or: yet another midnight launch I won’t be going to cover because it’s all hype and the REAL proof is a few months down the road plus when the post launch titles start dropping into stores…

Jimmy and Ice-T Put The PS4 On The Hot Spot…

Posted on November 14, 2013 by geelw

Alright, it’s a given: CUTE ROBOTS SELL CONSOLES. And SUPER-cute virtual robots you can play with and/or kick around the room? When the audience goes “D’aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” more than five times a minute? Yeah, there’s Christmas in a box for Sony right there.

Okay, despite my occasional cranky side acting up from time to time, I’ll have to admit that Jimmy Fallon always gets me excited about gaming despite me having a longer history with them than he has. Granted, it’s his great enthusiasm for the medium and NOT his play style (that tends to lean towards the “Boy, do I suck at these games but I’m having FUN!” although he did beat Ice-T at that Pong variant) that’s hard to fake. And yep, game companies love him, Conan and anyone else they can get a console and controller to. Of course, none of them love ME, but that’s more my fault than theirs at the end of the day. Oh well, we’re workin’ on it… we’re workin’ on it. I’m thinking of writing a fake e-book (not really) called “How To Get The Respect You Deserve Without Being A Total Ass or Total Suck-Up” but we’ll say no more about that unless we want to be called a total ass. Or a total suck-up. Not too good at either of those, but I can swing both ways once I take some lessons. Is the Learning Annex still open here in NYC?

Dorkly Nails The Anti-Gaming Dolts To The Wall. Details at 11… Or Now.

Posted on September 18, 2013 by geelw

As usual, the media is going (pardon the term) ballistic in some spots over Grand Theft Auto V on a few very incorrect fronts that makes them look like a bunch of knee-jerk jerks who love to generate controversy for rating’s sake as opposed to being anywhere near truthful. Fortunately, the folks over at dorkly.com have a mighty sharp yet paradoxically blunt hammer that works well at smashing this sort of questionable “journalism” right it its face. Read it and maybe keep that link handy when you get into a debate with some anti-gaming troll who thinks they know it all because some guy or gal wearing a hair helmet and too much makeup told them so.

Also, if you’re even in a real-life event where a news crew rolls up to invade your privacy, shoves a camera and microphone in your face and asks one of the two stupidest question in the world you can ask someone who’s been through or witnessed hell (“How did you feel when…” or “What was going through your mind when…”), feel free to grab that microphone bop the “reporter” lightly in the head with it, hand it back and say “No comment, idiot. Go away and find someone else to exploit.”, walk away and go take a nice long nap or have a relaxing cup of hot tea. They’ll get it eventually.

BUY! Ridiculous Indie Bundles Galore From All Over!

Posted on September 13, 2013 by geelw

With so much other stuff going on here I’m having a stupidly difficult time keeping up with all the deals going on in the indie game space, so I’ll just list what’s in my inbox here in a single post and let you all have at it. There are some REALLY great titles in these bundles, so definitely check one or all of them out, especially since (with the exception of all those Square-Enix/Eidos titles if you buy them all) you’re basically able to get the bulk of these titles NOW for much less than the cost of a AAA title at retail or via a digital download service.

Ready? OK, here we go:

BUNDLE STARS (Indie Rush Bundle)!

Oh, that’s not all – I’m just sending you below the jump so I can save space on this page for more of my scribblings…

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Late Night Game Week (Final Stage!): Wii, U Get 2 C That Jimmy Still Sux!

Posted on June 22, 2013 by geelw

Ha ha. OK, I had to do that horrid spelling job in the header as a little in-joke even I don’t get and yep, it’s another pre-show title to save time because I just KNOW Jimmy’s going to lose it and fail at another game live on TV. Anyway, saving the Wii U for his final post=E3 Game Week show meant this was either going to be a blowout for Nintendo because more people stayed home to watch OR… a bust because they were all out clubbing or whatever the crazy kids do on a Friday night (har har). Anyway, the 20-Ryu Hadouken/cartridge blowing/toothbrush circle bits was dumb and funny (and all those “World Records” they set WILL be broken over the weekend, I bet). That multiple video games “record” bit was stupidly awesome, though. Jimmy “played” six games all at once for twenty seconds and looked as if he was trying to escape from robbing a vintage game shop and ran into an arcade only to be trapped on a Dance Dance Revolution Supernova machine. Or something like that – just watch the video:

See? Now go break THAT record, Mr. or Ms. Guinness…

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Late Night Game Week (Day 4): Jimmy Answers the Call of Duty, Gets Ghosted…

Posted on June 21, 2013 by geelw

I actually wrote the headline before Jimmy’s show kicked off (hey, planning in advance works when you know what’s coming, correct?), but in case you missed it, the proof is above (or will be once NBC gets its act together, grrrr!).

Anyway, the show was a bit more game-centric and snappier than last night’s thanks to Defiance’s Grant Bowler, Jimmy running viewer videos of themselves playing with their mothers (pretty damn funny) and Elijah Wood geeking out with Fallon over The Last of Us before talking briefly about the new season of Wilfred and the remake of Maniac and then some fake video games in a skit.

As for CoD:G, well, it looks great on the Xbox 360 (but I think that dog has a LEAN button… whaaaat?!), but the demo was too short and other than a nice scripted building tumbling down and the novelty of playing as Riley (the dog) for brief bits, it’s looking like a CoD game, which is great to bad depending on your bias in either direction. I only play for the campaign mode anyway, so I may look into this on the PS3 or PS4 in the future. And oh yeah, I was actually wrong up above! Jimmy didn’t suck so much at the game today. Well, other than barking at the screen at one point (OK, it made me chuckle a bit).

Well, tomorrow is Nintendo’s day on the show, although I noted in the teaser for the show, they had “Nintendo Wii” and not “Nintendo Wii U” as the system being demoed. Oops. Er, unless Nintendo has some surprises we didn’t see at E3 planned for tomorrow, that is…