Walking With Dinosaurs Trailer: Jurassic Snark to Some Science Doubters…

I saw this trailer when I went to see Turbo at a press screening earlier this month (which was also open to a bunch of lucky kids and parents) and after it was over, I overheard from behind me a few rows back, some adult reassuring their kid or the kid they were in charge of for the day that the film wasn’t “real like it is in the Bible”, and that kind of got my goat a little. Granted, this film is more than a bit stupid in that it’s trying to be like an extended episode of Meerkat Manor or some other “reality” animal show that’s supposed to be dramatic and charming (blech) as it “tells it like it is” or whatever. But I just don’t like adults ill-equipped for actual facts outside what was beaten into them spreading ignorance onto kids who need to expand their minds, not contract them and think less outside the box they’re forced into. You can’t be part of the future if you grow up not expanding your knowledge of the past.

Of course, it’s also important to have an open mind as well, but one does need to get wiser with age. That said, I save that open-minded stuff mostly for appreciating junky films like this one that try to have it both ways with men and dinosaurs in the same place like it’s a more violent live-action version of The Flintstones

And don’t even get me started on Dinosaurus! and its crazy electricity-revived caveman and dinosaurs triple threat. Yikes. Granted, I could go further back and post clips from sillier films made before science caught up with Hollywood and its need to present every bit of human (and pre-human) history as “entertainment”, but I tend to give those classics a pass on their lack of accuracy because the filmmakers didn’t have much to work with and man, if you can hate Gertie the Dinosaur for any reason, you really have no soul. Little in-joke there, by the way.

You still can’t hate Gertie, though.

KRONOS: 1957’s Alien Planet Eater Makes For An Interesting Muse…

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(thanks, ScienceFictionFLIX!) 

KRONOS posterAnother favorite sci-fi flick from my younger days (OK, it still holds up today on a few fronts), Kurt Neumann’s 1957 film KRONOS is a really well-made and fun cheapie that benefits from some prescient scripting, pretty decent effects work (some nice for the era animation of the titular massive alien energy accumulator in a few quick shots), a snappy running time and a few unintentional chuckles from the usual overacting cast members emoting with relish about the over-sized and unstoppable alien threat of the week. Anyway, back in 2011 I was dinking around in MS Paint and had a sudden flash of inspiration to do a goofy tribute image and here you go. I guess it’s technically a piece of “fan art” although I have to chuckle at the “fan” part as it’s not exactly something I do on a regular basis. Yeah, I guess this gets added to the Random Film of the Week pile at some point. Feel free to check it out, as yep – it comes highly recommended.

If Your Day Is Going to the Dogs, You May As Well Dance…

(thanks again, GoodOldDaysReturns!) 

Sometimes you have no choice in the matter, folks. But hey, at least you can take your mind off your troubles while you’re trying to learn some new moves (and try to get your own pet to cooperate in the process). The great Eleanor Powell makes it look too easy (as usual), but don’t let that keep you from trying a few steps yourself. Er,just make sure you move all the breakables out of the way – you have enough stuff on your plate to worry about stomping on a broken plate in your bare feet. Sundays at the ER are often pretty lousy, I hear…

Elysium Clips: Blomkamp’s Blockbuster, Bit By Bit…

I’m not the biggest fan of these clip job teases, but they sure didn’t spoil District 9 for me by the time I got around to seeing it. Neill Blomkamp and his effects team certainly have a way with mixing CG and practical effects that doesn’t look fake or too overblown at all and yeah, Matt Damon as a cobbled together cyborg is making for a pretty interesting character.

As long as the ending feels right (and doesn’t necessarily set up a sequel), I think this might do well and yes, we may see someone at Microsoft kicking themselves in the ass for not letting Mr. B. do that Halo movie. Of course, those folks are still in desperation mode, so I can see them throwing money his way to get on board that Xbox One’s content machine for a super exclusive.

As usual (repeat after me, class)… We shall see.

Gravity “I’ve Got You” Trailer: Well, You Did Just Now…

OK, I’ve been not paying much attention to the upcoming film Gravity thanks to me not being much of a Sandra Bullock fan (yeah, yeah, she’s America’s Sweetheart #181 and blah-blah) and doing a coin toss with Clooney’s films because they can be great or not so great depending on the director. Granted, this isn’t the first time on the sci-fi carousel for either actor, what with Sandra earning her cred in Demolition Man (dumb flick, but the opening sequence was and is still amazing) and George doing a solid job in that Solaris remake from a while back (it’s a decent flick, but the book is still the best way to go). Of course, everything is really riding on the shoulders of director Alfonso Cuarón (“Children of Men”), as I’m betting a handful of pennies that some going in to see this will be expecting something of equal depth and design on a few fronts. Well, this trailer sure piqued my interest, that’s for sure… et tu?

Random Film of the Week(end): The Indestructible Man

(thanks, All Classic Video!) 

TIMOne of those crazy 50’s “B” sci-fi/horror flicks that sticks in the mind thanks to the performance of its lead, The Indestructible Man is also one of those forgotten gems that modern audiences would most likely laugh out of a theater or change the channel after a few minutes of dialog during a slower moment. Of course, I grew up seeing this flick countless times on TV, so it was a formative part of my misspent youth. Combining sci-fi, horror and film noir elements and featuring a creepy performance from Lon Chaney Jr., this is one of those short, snappy little movies that makes for a nice jolt as well as few unintentional laughs.

Chaney plays Charles “Butcher” Benton, a convicted killer and thief who’s been given the gas chamber treatment, but has his dead body illegally sold to a scientist for research purposes. Of course, it being the 1950’s and a “B” movie and all, that scientist happens to be studying the effects of electricity and his own chemical concoctions on dead subjects and ends up quite thrilled when Benton is brought back to the land of the living. Naturally, when you beef up a dead man with voltage and vitamins, his first response will be to kill you and your assistant then take off with intent of wiping out just about anyone who sent him behind bars. Maybe that stupid scientist should have invented a time machine so he could pop up today and read this post, then zap back and get better prepared…

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Retro Summer Heat: Bad Girls Go to Hell Trailer

BGGTHThis post is for the smiling guy I saw out walking today wearing a suit and tie all buttoned up and saying to his baking lady friend (trying to keep up in her high heels and about to melt makeup) “This heat is NOTHING to me! HAHAHAHAHA!”

Yeah, you suck and the planet you come from sucks as well.

Note: SOME would say this trailer is NSFW, but given that I’m posting this after work hours, YOU can watch it and not feel guilty or cheap. Unless you’re watching this at work and get creeped on by your boss. Oops – now he’s going to think a lot less (or more) of you and you’ll get a raise or a demotion or something. Whatever it is, even if it’s “good”, it’s not good, as now he’ll be sliding by with a grin on his mug, a mug in his claw and a “Whatcha watchin’?” leer to really freak you out. OK, other than clips on some ancient HBO show and stills from a book a friend lent me many years ago, I’ve actually never seen a Doris Wishman-directed film. The trailer makes me want to. It’s the title, silly. Well, OK… the sheer camp value is also the kicker here. Anyway, yeah… some of you need another shower, the rest of you want to chase me around the room with a spiked baseball bat. It’s too hot for the latter, so just stick your head and feet into a nice bucket of ice (or ice cream) and cool off. You can hate me in the winter or something…

Or you can hate the fine folks at Sleaze-O-Rama for twisting your arm and “making” you click that link… and yeah, Bad Girls go to Hell 365 days a year – they just wear less in this weather.

Random Film of the Week: THE CAR

THE CAR Since it’s hot as HELL outside, I figured I may as well throw you readers a bone in the form of a film with a lot of heat under its hood that won’t burn you (unless you’re expecting it to blow you away with stellar acting and a memorable plot.) If you take it at all seriously (and it’s VERY hard to do so, mind you), 1977’s THE CAR isn’t a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but it sure as hell is a really and unintentionally hilarious one.

It’s more or less a nasty-tasting cake made up of equal parts of single-word title films (JAWS, DUEL), a dash of devil possession from some other popular 70’s flicks, a custom George Barris ride that looks like a tricked out rolling bathtub and some (as in too many) scenery chewing lead and character actors having at the jumbled script and its crazy plot diversions.

This is a “Yours is not to question why…” flick, plain and simple. Small run down desert town gets visited and its citizenry terrified (and run down) by a mysterious driver-less evil car from hell (more or less). Sheriff and crew take on car with mixed and amusing results until they realize that good old fashioned explosives and a few tons of boulders solve many problems. Crash, Bang, Boom… The End? Yeah, it’s that simple enough to be a thirty minute episode of some sort of horror anthology on TV (or as part of a much better film anthology), but THE CAR is padded with a number of dopey subplots that don’t really go anywhere because after too many minutes of greasy buildup someone usually gets killed (and taken out of the picture as a result), leaving that screen door swinging in the breeze until the next victim shows up…

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Seventh Son Trailer #1: This May Be Dragon You Into Theaters Soon Enough…

Boy, am I SO behind on my fantasy novel reading… I guess. I’d never even heard of The Wardstone Chronicles until this trailer for Seventh Son rolled around and while I don’t think I’ll be diving into any of the books anytime soon, this trailer looks pretty cool in a flash-forward about a year to “When I finally caught this on cable I was really surprised at how good it was!” manner. Of course, that’s not what WB and Legendary Pictures want to hear, but that’s how I roll these days with those crazy ticket prices. “I’ll take “LESS Expensive Cinema Gimmickry” for $200, Alex!”… or something like that…

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Godzilla San Diego Comic-Com Poster: Building Up to the Bigger Reveal…

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Sure, it won’t be the final poster image, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless. of course, if you had a kaiju made of assorted rubble from wrecked buildings, all you’d need to defeat it would be a very large wrecking ball or a dump truck full of marbles, a pound of lard and a nice steep hill leading to the nearest deep body of water. That would be great for a few laughs, no? Hmph, some people have NO sense of humor. Anyway, it looks as if the BIG reveal of how this new Godzilla will look has been placed gently on the back burner, but I think it’ll be pretty cool. Or hell, at least a LOT more impressive that that last US-made Godzilla flick…