Dark Souls Remastered: Get In On That Server Test, Folks

Posted on May 1, 2018 by geelw

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FACT: I’m absolutely awful at the Dark Souls games, but I forge on nevertheless. Bandai Namco is indulging fans with a tease of a network test coming up for PSN and Xbox Live users that’s going to give those servers quite the workout. Details below. I’ve downloaded the client, but know what to expect already: me dying a lot and getting my game invaded by players looking to add a few notches to their belts. Some of us are pincushions for other’s win-cushions, I guess. Ow. Ow. Ow.

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DARK SOULS: REMASTERED NETWORK TEST DETAILS REVEALED

BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment America Inc. has confirmed today that the DARK SOULS™: REMASTERED Network Test will be running May 11-12, 2018, at specific times listed below, for the PlayStation®4 computer entertainment system and Xbox One. The network test will take place within the Undead Parish location and have players summoning co-op partners or invade others’ games.

More details regarding the DARK SOULS: REMASTERED Network Test can be found below:

What: DARK SOULS: REMASTERED Network Test for PlayStation 4 system and Xbox One
When: May 11th and May 12th from 6:00pm PDT to 11:59pm PDT each day for the Americas
How: Download the DARK SOULS: REMASTERED Network Test client from May 1st through 11:59pm PDT on May 8th on PlayStation 4 system and Xbox One (Xbox Gold subscription required to participate) to be part of the test. At 11:59pm PDT on May 8th the network test client will be removed, and no new participants will be accepted.

DARK SOULS: REMASTERED will launch for the PlayStation 4 system, Xbox One, and PC via STEAM® on May 25, 2018. The Nintendo Switch™ version of DARK SOULS: REMASTERED, network test, and Solaire amiibo™ will be available later this summer.

So, yeah, sure. I’ll see you online in a bit. Or not see you because you’ll be sneaking up on me while I’m trying not to get slaughtered by some bossy boss. Be gentle or at least tap me on the shoulder before you conk me on the head with that weapon or whatever.

-GW

Blu-Ray Review: Scalpel

Posted on April 21, 2018 by geelw

John Grissmer’s 1977 film Scalpel is a pretty neat psychological thriller that also works as an entry level ‘light’ horror flick for those skittish types not quite ready for gore galore, but who won’t mind a tiny bit of depravity in the plot. Arrow Video has not only put out a stellar restoration, they also got respected cinematographer Edward Lachman to supervise am equally gorgeous second transfer that’s been color corrected back to his original theatrical version.

While there are some flaws in the storytelling, it’s a solid enough film to recommend thanks to the no-nonsense performances and relatively brief 95-minute running time. Having the choice to see both versions on a single disc along with some very nice bonus features makes this yet another Arrow you’ll want to add to your quiver.

When plastic surgeon Dr. Phillip Reynolds (Richard Lansing) encounters a badly beaten stripper with a completely ruined face, he comes up with a plan to reconstruct her to look exactly like his missing daughter (Judith Chapman) in order to claim the $5,000,000 inheritance denied him, but given to her by her grandfather. He’s also got more disgusting designs on his mind, but you’ll have to see how that plays out. After the young woman is out of surgery and healing up, Reynolds takes her out of the hospital and to his home, eventually telling her his plan and offering to split half the money with her. After some weeks of coaching, the girl is ready for her close up with Reynolds’ extended family. While their ploy succeeds to some extent, things get a wee bit complicated when Reynolds real daughter (also played by Chapman) shows up shortly thereafter. Oops, and yep, the plot thickens.

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Random Film of the Week: Hard to be a God

Posted on April 11, 2018 by geelw

(Thanks, kinolorber!)

Hard to be a God MP Imagine an episode of Game of Thrones as performed by the cast of Peter Weiss’ Marat/Sade minus the fantasy elements and with an even more staggering attention to medieval detail and you’ll maybe grasp a small potion of the late Aleksei German’s outstanding, brutal (yet beautiful) Hard to be a a God. This 2013 film (the director’s last) isn’t for the easily disturbed but if you’re willing to sit through the almost three hour running time, you’ll likely find yourself glued to the screen from beginning to end.

While it may not look like a sci-fi film, right from the start you’ll see subtitles that note the story takes place on an earth-like planet going through its medieval phase about 800 years after ours. A group of scientists have been send there to observe the planet and gently nudge it forward without using technology or politics as it goes through what should be a renaissance phase. Unfortunately, things kind of get a bit out if hand when intellectuals of all types become targets for murder by a tyrant’s roaming militia intent on keeping the people uneducated and (mostly) harmless. Actually, about 28 minutes in, you get a reminder that you’re on another world thanks to a quick shot of something mechanical making itself known. But even then, the illusion of an incessantly nasty age isn’t at all broken.

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Review: Metropolis: Lux Obscura (PS4/Vita)

Posted on March 27, 2018 by geelw

Hooooooo boy. If a mature game that successfully mashes up Sin City and Puzzle Quest seems as if it’ll be right up your dark, rainy alley, have I got something for you, pal. Sometimes You has ported Ktulhu Solutions’ previously PC-only (and very NSFW) game Metropolis: Lux Obscura over to consoles (it’s coming April 4) and if you’re in the mood for a totally lewd and somewhat amusing in terms of its wall to wall profanity game experience, go whip out that wallet and pony up that dough. Leave the kids out of this one, please, as it’s absolutely not for them. Unless, of course you want them quoting the racier lines from this at family gatherings or in places where someone might keel over in a dead faint from the ear-searing dialog.

While it’s a bit on the short side, you get four endings and the game excels at paying somewhat intentionally cheesy homage to Frank Miller’s graphic novels (although the art here is a lot less impressive) with that reliance on shock value profanity and a few topless and/or scantily clad females as well as some more salacious content that may make your eyes pop a few times before all is said and done. Amusingly enough, as raw as this game is, PC version owners can get a patch that turns that version into a er, how shall I put it… “somewhat Stormier” experience. And nope, you won’t see that patch coming at all to the PS4 or Vita (or Nintendo Switch, for that matter).

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EDF 5 + Starship Troopers = My Eyes Bouncing ‘Round The Room

Posted on March 9, 2018 by geelw

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While I still have NO idea who’s publishing Earth Defense Force 5 in the west and any news seems to be being kept way too quiet (grrr!), this trailer really set my “I need this NOW!” timer off. The funny thing is, I had NO interest in any other Starship Troopers films after Paul Verhoeven’s (it’s a great and intentionally ironic parody some still don’t fully grasp, by the way) and even dismissed last year’s Starship Troopers: Red Planet (or Traitor of Mars) as looking too much like a game for my snooty cinematic tastes. Well, look who’s a crow-chomping clown who wants to see, er, find out more about this one?

Thanks, EDF! Now, about that US release date and publisher? Those giant bug-sized beans need to be spilled, and fast.

-GW

Switchy Business, Or: Blizzard, Just Do It.

Posted on March 3, 2018 by geelw

So, yeah. A few days ago this happened on Twitter:

Sweet dreams. pic.twitter.com/tZvCnjjzWb

— Blizzard Entertainment (@Blizzard_Ent) February 28, 2018

Naturally, a LOT of people jumped on this (including yours truly) and thought right off the bat that this cryptic tweet was not at all cryptic and meant we’d be seeing a Switch version of Diablo III at some point. Well, Blizzard says nope, it was all just a misinterpreted tweet. Boo. That said, I think they’re at the very least planning something and that tweet was a means of teasing and testing the waters as far as responses to a Nintendo version. While I despise speculation, I’m about to speculate on what’s up while adding a few thoughts on this matter.

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Blu-Ray Review: BASKET CASE

Posted on February 28, 2018 by geelw

“What’s in the basket? Easter eggs?”

Absolutely, lady, absolutely. Wow. Sometimes you get hit in the head by a fly ball you didn’t see coming and it’s actually a good thing. I didn’t know Frank Henenlotter’s still hilarious and unnerving 1982 feature BASKET CASE had gotten a superb MoMA restoration last year until I overheard two guys talking about it and I just had to walk up and ask if it was true. It indeed was and now thanks to Arrow Video, you can get yourself a copy of this cult horror hit and see what the fuss is all about. Or just see it again as a fully restored masterpiece of low-budget movie making madness.

If memory serves me correctly, I actually saw the film for the first time way back during its initial 1982 run at the Waverly theater, but I think it was the disappointing edited version that came off as a bit crueler and cruder. I say “think” because it was a midnight showing and I recall falling asleep at one point and missed about 10 or so minutes. Oops. A few years later, upon renting the unrated version on VHS (I think it was from one of the legendary Kim’s Video locations in NYC), I was shocked to see footage I hadn’t recalled and the film was actually much funnier than I’d remembered.

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Blu-Ray Review: Henri-Georges Clouzot’s Inferno

Posted on February 9, 2018 by geelw

Sometimes, life can be a mystery… and sometimes, you kind of know what you’re getting into but still step into that trap door straight to hell.

In 1964, stoked after the huge box office success of Dr.Strangelove, Columbia Pictures was poking around the film world looking for something guaranteed to be the next big movie and had the wild idea to extend unlimited funding to a new project directed by the great Henri-Georges Clouzot (The Wages of Fear, Diabolique). Based on some striking test footage, Henri-Georges Clouzot’s Inferno was, for all intents and purposes, going to be an innovative and mature film that had the potential to make millions for the company while making an even bigger star out of Sissi trilogy star Romy Schneider. Three weeks into production and 185 cans (about 14 hours) of film later, one of the main cast members quit, three production separate teams of 150 people were out of work, and Clouzot had a heart attack that ended up shutting production down for good.

Those cans of film were sitting somewhere in France for decades thanks to the insurance company that ended up with them, but thanks to the obsessive persistence of Serge Bromberg and a meeting with Clouzot’s second wife in an elevator, we have this somewhat spectacular documentary (co-directed by Ruxandra Medrea) that sheds a bit of light on the destined to fail project. While the documentary is quite amazing, you’re in no way getting anything close to a completed version of Inferno despite all that footage that was shot. Most of it was camera tests of actors, loads of exterior tests, and visual effects shots galore in assorted states of completion. All of it was silent, although parts of a separate soundtrack were found and added into the documentary along with parts of the script read/reenacted by Bérénice Bejo and Jacques Gamblin. That said, there’s a lot to absorb here, but the overall takeaway seems to be “Here’s what happens when you throw money at a problem and it doesn’t solve itself, folks.”

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Blu-Ray Review: Animal Factory

Posted on February 6, 2018 by geelw

Way back around in oh, 2000 or 2001, I was working in a small independent game shop in NYC when in walks Edward Furlong wearing dark sunglasses with some woman I didn’t recognize in tow. I think he popped in to get away from a few fans who recognized him on the street (this sort of celebrity sighting thing happened a lot on St. Mark’s Place) and if I’m not mistaken, I think one or two other people in the shop knew who he was within a few seconds of him popping in.

Long story short, he hung out for a few minutes and didn’t say much (and I don’t recall if he bought anything), but he eventually left, leaving his sunglasses behind. I do believe my boss ended up keeping them after a few days when they weren’t reclaimed. Anyway, that’s the shortest celebrity story I know, but I have a few more that may pop up if and when the time comes. Living in this city, one tends to stumble into the occasional interaction that’s more than the usual fan on the prowl experience. Oh yeah, we’re supposed to be doing a movie review now, right? Let me get my review hat on. A minute, please… there we go.

Steve Buscemi’s Animal Factory is a pretty darn good prison flick based on the Eddie Bunker novel and yep, the Arrow restoration is pretty solid overall. It features Furlong, along with Willem Dafoe, Danny Trejo, an unrecognizable Mickey Rourke and a few other surprises (for example, Tom Arnold in a somewhat short cameo). Furlong plays young Ron Decker who ends up getting 10 years on a drug conviction. He ends up meeting with Earl Copen (Dafoe), a long time convict who decides to keep Decker close and under his protection for a few reasons (and not the ones you might be thinking, you dirty birds). While Ron is seemingly safe from harm, he ends up getting on the bad sides of a few other cons as well as some prison officials and you get a pretty impressive mix of drama and violence with plenty of tension as the glue holding things together.

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Warhammer 40K: Inquisitor – Martyr Campaign Intro Trailer: Meany, Miney, (Give Me) Mo’

Posted on January 16, 2018 by geelw

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Well, it may be short and tease-y for a campaign intro, but this is looking really interesting. Still, I’m holding out for the PS4 version thanks to hating upgrading my PC and knowing NeoCore can do wonders with the hardware. But, don’t let me stop you from wanting to take this for a spin now on Steam. Their two ports of The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing came out pretty well on the system, so I’m going to go in with at least the mild expectation that this new open world game will be as good as or even better than their monster hunter’s digital exploits.

Having tried a small chunk of the Early Access version last year, I can very safely say this will be quite a tough game for those who come in cold and think it’ll be a total breeze. I’m gathering the difficulty will be a bit more balanced but not totally casual to the point where it’s a Diablo III cakewalk that lets you overpower your character if you desire and end up with an unstoppable master of doom in that chunky metal armor. Eh, we shall see. We shall see.

-GW