Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Trailer: I Thought “Ape Shall Never Kill Ape!” Was A Golden Rule?

Posted on December 18, 2013 by geelw

So, not only will there be a sequel to Rise of the Planet of the Apes, it looks as if this time it’s (even more) war as ape versus ape action will fill theaters next July and get the CG fans screaming. Me? I’ll wait for the cable premiere, as all these computer-made flicks just get on my nerves after anything over five minutes of otherwise hard work that’s failing to keep my interest the more of these effects hit me over the head. I’m NOT getting jaded at all, mind you. I just miss the days of practical work looking better in some respects and not as “perfect” because every motion is animated to a “T” and overemphasized to the point that it looks TOO realistic or worse, you get those “impossible to capture with a real camera” moments piled one atop the other and it’s basically not the director directing any longer. Yeah, we’ll see… we’ll see. It looks interesting and all, but if it’s not as “kinda fun” as Rise was, I’ll be sending a box of rotten banana peels to Fox with a mildly nasty note…

Nintendo Direct 12/18/2013: Some Very Nice Surprises From Now ‘Til Thenever…

Posted on December 18, 2013 by geelw

I actually wasn’t expecting all that much from this new Nintendo Direct video, as it clocks in at just over 33 minutes and the last live reveal the company did outside their straight to the consumer YouTube series was underwhelming at best (or: I don’t give a rat’s banana about Cranky Kong!). That said, there were some nice surprises here in the form of NES Remix a cool mash-up mini-game series available today on the eShop and for me, Hyrule Warriors is going to be a go-to game for a while whenever it actually hits retail. Seeing a Legend of Zelda take on the supremely addictive long running “mindless” hack and slash Dynasty Warriors franchise (done by the folks who make those games, of course) made me a wee bit too giddy. I say this one should have been a launch or launch window game for the Wii U just because it’s one of those series that like it or not, anyone who can hold a controller can dive into and play without a single tutorial or hand-holding moment…
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503 Better Things To Do Than Be Caught Dead On Buzzfeed…

Posted on December 17, 2013 by geelw

That image to the left is the inside of my head after a few minutes on that so-called “hot” site, Buzzfeed. I generally avoid places like that on the internet because I can feel my intelligence draining away as soon as I start poking around to find anything that actually keeps my attention long enough to finish, but I’m trying to be less stuffy in my online reading choices.

Granted, I barely have time to write all that I want to and read what some of you folks on my too short list of semi-regular spots to visit cook up. But on occasion, a friend here and there will shoot over a link to something on one of those much bigger mainstream sites that generate millions of hits (and millions of ad bucks I sure don’t get) and I’m finding myself poking around because I’m trying to be a nice guy more than wanting to waste five minutes or so reading silly polls and other junk that aren’t actually informative.

(Thanks, MRJadedtom!)

At best, you’re “entertained” with a few chuckles before you remember you had something actually important to do. At worst, you’ll be reading things you don’t care about and wanting to chase the person around who sent you that link with a sharpened or blunt stick wanting your time and brain cells back. I don’t claim to be the smartest guy on the planet these days, but if I’m going to dawdle anywhere, I’d prefer to waste my time when I want to as opposed to because someone else finds a shiny object to dangle in my field of view.

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Random Film of the Week: Lizzie

Posted on December 16, 2013 by geelw

Released in the same year The Three Faces of Eve, 1957’s Lizzie covers the same thematic ground, albeit in a bit more unintentionally campy manner. Eleanor Parker plays Elizabeth and well as Beth and Lizzie, her two other personalities in this attempt at the “message” film sub-genre that Hollywood seemed to thrive on back then as writers and directors made more and more films with socially conscious and provocative subjects.

Although based on the novel The Bird’s Nest by Shirley Jackson and ably directed by Hugo Hass (who also has a small part in the film), compared to Eve and Joanne Woodward’s more realistic (and Oscar-winning) performance it’s far from a perfect film, especially when viewed today. For me, it’s the same thing with Otto Preminger’s classic The Man With the Golden Arm where the bulk of its otherwise deadly serious subject matter can be mined for comic gold because of some pointed overkill that may have been “shocking” in the 1950’s, but awesomely funny today. Parker’s role in that film was also well acted, but as her Zosh made me chuckle and cringe there, Lizzie here gets me grinning every time she takes over poor Elizabeth and starts gnawing on the scenery (and some poor man) to great effect… Continue reading →

Fake Time Travel Takes a Big Step Backwards, But Nice Try, Flyonix!

Posted on December 16, 2013 by geelw

Well, I figured SOMEONE would try and make a life sized TARDIS that actually flew one of these days, but the guys at Flyonix did so and made a trio of really fun and funny professional quality videos documenting their process and the initial (and unfortunately first and only) flight of their blue boxy bird. As you can see, things didn’t exactly turn out as well as some of you would like. Well, at least they weren’t crazy enough to put a person inside, right? Of course, you Who purists might be a bit miffed that this version of the TARDIS wasn’t bigger on the inside and all that, but hey – you can only go SO far with actual reality, you know….

Of course, this probably won’t stop them from making a new attempt and yep, I want them to at LEAST get one up, flying and landing safely just so I can like to see an actual TARDIS ride pop up in an amusement park somewhere in the world. Heck, you’d think it would have happened already, but I guess since Disney or Universal hasn’t bought Doctor Who yet (and we certainly don’t want to see THAT happening, correct?) and slapped a themed section into one of their parks, it won’t be a “thing” to experience outside of some fan fiction (eek) or inventors with too much time on their hands and plenty of moxie. Wait… did I just use “moxie” in an sentence in the 21st century? Yes, I did. Time travel DOES exist!

Not So Random Film of the Week: The Lovely Bones

Posted on December 16, 2013 by geelw

Hey, kids! Happy Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and all that rot! I had to open one of my presents early in order to tell you what my brain and eyeballs say about it, so here you go. This post is my little contribution to The Cinematic Katzenjammer’s Not-So-Secret Santa Review Swap. It’s definitely not a holiday flick (nor a joyous one), but you never know what you’ll get from Saint Nick when he drops something down your chimney. You just need to review it and hope you do a good job at it… OR ELSE. Anyway, grab some eggnog, pull up a comfy chair, put the pet of choice on your lap and read on!

I have a particular problem with most ghost stories in film thanks to zero continuity or lineage in the mythos from one tale to another across the globe. Yes, I’ve seen dozens of great films from mildly spooky to downright scare me under the furniture freaky in over 46 years of watching movies, but their level of effectiveness is more due to great writing and acting than these tales making any sort of logical sense from one to another. That said, after watching it twice, I can very safely say that The Lovely Bones is a beautiful looking, wonderfully shot and mostly terrifically acted movie that for me, was manipulative, frustrating and not at all satisfying to watch.

Even Brian Eno swiping his own music from tracks on Here Come The Warm Jets (one of my favorite albums) and adding them to his often ethereal score can’t save this film from its weaknesses. Then again, maybe it’s me being cranky here? After all, Peter Jackson and I have some unspoken grief beef ever since 1996’s The Frighteners made me want to strangle myself in my sleep after I saw it and the overkill of way too many CG effects and too much trying to be too funny and too serious simultaneously beat a whole theater of paying saps into a blue-green hued coma. That said, this 2009 film makes that old one look a lot more palatable and enjoyable in comparison… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week(end): The Stunt Man

Posted on December 15, 2013 by geelw

It’s been a really sad year for film fans in terms of losing bits of history and memory as the months fly by too soon. Upon hearing that Peter O’Toole passed away, the first thing I thought of was that TCM is really going to need to update its TCM Remembers video to include the legendary actor (and perhaps Paul Walker, as he wasn’t included {not being a “classic” film actor and all} although Eleanor Parker, who died later, was).

The second thing I thought of was not the film he’s probably going to be most remembered for by many, David Lean’s masterful epic Lawrence of Arabia, but Richard Rush’s bawdy, bold 1980 film, The Stunt Man with the actor playing a madman of a director trying to make a bizarre World War I film with an on the lam drifter replacing the stunt man killed in a freak accident… Continue reading →

I Still Need A Vacation, But The Store Needs Minding…

Posted on December 15, 2013 by geelw

Bleh. While it’s not as bad as it’s been in previous years, I’m gathering that the usual winter blahs that creep into my generally crowded head starting around November will be packing some extra fierce cold and wind action. I’m a firm believer that everyone gets gloomy about something at some time during the year or their lifetime and the best thing to do isn’t to suck down a handful of prescribed happy pills that end up making you worse through assorted side effects straight out of a 70’s horror film, but to ride it out and find something constructive to do to keep those neurons busy being creative.

Thankfully, that’s NOT a problem here at all, as I actually have too much to do and not enough time to do it all, a helper non-monkey that’s going to be contributing stuff he likes here in a bit and a few other irons in the fire I can’t talk about just yet because I’m still juggling ideas around. That means I don’t sleep much some days, but it’s all good. I was going to write something about my current annoyance at social networking, FiOS ending people around to ring doorbells on a weekend, making soup on a whim, and that ONE person who doesn’t get a joke that pretty obvious yet so meta that you’d need to be an overreacting idiot to not see it’s not serious at all. However,dear reader… that stuff takes deeper thought than I have on a stupidly cold Sunday where it snowed earlier and rained later (boo, slushies for EVERYBODY!!!)… Meh, I’ll be back later tonight or tomorrow… I’ve got some content to generate…

Interstellar Teaser Trailer: What You Do After You’ve Gone Batty Thrice…

Posted on December 14, 2013 by geelw

So, it’s about a year away (!), but Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Interstellar looks as if it will be one more intensely interesting film from one of the more prolifically creative mainstream directors working today. Granted, this SUPER tease may as well be a trailer for a Salvage One movie or a more serious version of Joe Dante’s EXPLORERS, but I like that vagueness going on here and the fact that we have to wait a whole year to see what’s coming. Naturally, there WILL be updates as more of the plot and cast are revealed, but with any new film, I prefer to stay the hell off the internet and far away from speculation and spoilers because it just makes for a better overall viewing experience. Try it sometime and see, I say…

Review: Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW!

Posted on December 14, 2013 by geelw

Platform: Nintendo Wii U/Nintendo 3DS (also on PS3/Xbox 360/PC)

Developer: WayForward Technologies

Publisher: D3Publisher of America

# of Players: 1-4

ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10+)

Official Site

Score: B (80%)

You don’t need to be a big Adventure Time fan at all to enjoy Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW!, but it may help out considerably if you’re a fan of ancient dungeon crawlers, intentional use of 8-bit visuals and a certain classic four-player arcade dungeon crawler. Insanely busy developer WayForward Technologies has managed to capture all of those elements in this game, and while it’s a pretty straightforward experience, as a long time fan of anything dungeon related (er, don’t get any “whip-smart” thoughts in your noggins, people!), this one’s a fine bit of nostalgia that’s even more fun with a few friends along for the long haul. Going in solo is also enjoyable if you’re that old school (raises hand high!), but if you want to rack up more loot and enough money for gear and skill upgrades, you’ll need to pick your hero or heroine wisely. Survival can be pretty tough in the later maps when you’re alone and not able to get to those out of reach goodies… Continue reading →