So, Renny Harlin is finally back in the director’s seat on a big-budget film… but doing what looks like a mash-up of 300 and every other film or TV show that was “influenced” by Zack Snyder’s comic-book inspired mini-epic. *Sigh.* Sure, it’s a hell of a lot better than seeing Lou Ferrigno punch a bear into space (and turn it into Ursa Major!) or listening to some of that wretched dialog from those old 60’s Hercules flicks (To wit: “She’s in MY house now, Hercules, and I’m going to celebrate… by GOING THERE!”). On the other hand, if this film is as by the numbers as it looks, I’ll settle for a complete series DVD of that ancient The Mighty Hercules cartoon from the 60’s. Hey, a little Johnny Nash goes a loooooong way. Probably way past Ursa Major at least…
Tag Archives: Burning Bridges
The Hobbit: The Desplation of Smaug TV Spot 3: This One Better Not Be Draggin’…
Okay, so I finally caught The Hobbit on HBO when it premiered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep about 25 minutes in. That was bad, however I did wake up about 25 or so minutes later and sat through the rest of the film, save for a quick break to boil some water for tea. Granted, I was a bit sick and a little bit tired from the cold that was knocking me around, but still… the film did drag-on a bit (yeah, that’s supposed to be a pun). I liked it overall, but after that blazing opening sequence it took a while to get going again then between jokes it’s pretty much a non-interactive CG movie that winds its way up, down and all around to that ending where you just so happen to look at your watch and realize as Smaug’s eye opens and the credits roll that you’ll need to come back to that theater to see what happens thanks to that big dragon not quite revealing himself. I’m gathering this sequel will have TOO much of Smaug for some tastes… but in my opinion there’s no such thing as too much of any dragon (unless it’s that damn purple dinosaur Barney trying to pretend he’s one)…
Yeah, I’m Back (With Some Bigger Fish to Fry)…
So, that nasty sore throat that was making my life miserable is pretty much dead in the water thanks to a few limes, some honey, hot water and a good knife. Peel and cut up 2 limes into bite size pieces, place them into a bowl, pour some honey on them and eat up. Yum! Well, it’s not supposed to be dessert, but that angry kitten with be gone from that throat. make some hot tea with what’s left and drink that if necessary. All I have now is this sneezing and a bit of stuffy nose action to deal with. I think tomorrow is a federal holiday anyway, so my fastest wi-fi spot may be shut down anyway, but I wanted to kick this stupid cold in the groin a few times so I’m all fresh and fancy for a few meetings coming up this week. Die, germs! I got your shutdown right here, POW!
Annnnnd speaking of shutdowns, Continue reading
Saturn 3 Blu-Ray/DVD Bound: Heckling Hector and Company For Their Less Than Stellar Work…
OK, I didn’t think it was possible, but it looks as if someone is actually putting the wretched mess Saturn 3 out on Blu-Ray. The otherwise great director Stanley Donen’s flawed folly of a feeble flick is headed out to retail on December 3, 2013 from the fine folks at Shout Factory.
This big budget sci-fi/horror non-epic non masterpiece (it’s not even a “so bad it’s good” experience) completely wastes the talents of all involved and is a total mess from start to finish. Thankfully, it looks as if the disc’s handful of bonus features just may save this one from being the “WTF did you get me this crap for?” movie of the year. Trust me, there’s not one redeemable quality about the theatrical version, but I know some movie fans find elements of this junk heap intriguing enough to want to go back and watch this a few too many times.
Saturday’s Sick (For All The Wrong Reasons)…
Status
Ha. I’m not even downtown at Flu Central Station (aka New York Comic-Con 2013) and I’m feeling like someone’s scraping my throat with sandpaper wrapped in barbed wire. Yuk. It’s the damned library here with its wheezing teens, old people and kids and man, whatever I got socked with is fast moving and nasty. Bleh. Thankfully, I’ve some Throat Coat tea at home, enough limes to open a fruit stand and a fresh jar of honey. I may have to break out my chicken soup making skills for this one, but I’ll need to defrost that bird taking up space in the freezer and get to work cooking it for the carcass. Anyway, updates will be slow this weekend just so I’m alive for a few meetings next week I’ve already scheduled. I need to be careful with my health these days, as my current insurance plan goes something like this:
(thanks, frankpilarski!)
Did I mention I despise being sick (especially when it’s not my fault)? Eh, welcome to the human race, I suppose. I don’t even want to KNOW what my fellow writer types are going to be dealing with after NYCC is over. Usually, you’re hoarse, have tired legs and feet, maybe a few paper cuts and if you imbibed from one of those public fountains at the event, that combined with whatever bad food you’ve eaten will get you into solitary confinement in the comfort of your own bathroom for a wee bit too long. OK, that’s a bit of TMI for some of you out there, but I’m just telling it like it is…
Machete Kills… Some Time (If You’re Up To Another Trip to Camp Value)…
Welp, I knew this wasn’t going to be Gone With The Wind (unless you count how long it lasts in theaters, ha, ha), but it’s here, ready and more than willing to take some dollars from your wallet and beat you senseless with its non-stop Rodriguez-ness. I guess I’ll see this like I did the original Machete – on cable, and surprised that I didn’t know it was premiering so soon. Amusingly enough, I had a weird dream about Sofia Loren and Sofia Vergara standing next to each other on a subway giving each other the once over and I woke up laughing because by the same point in their careers, Loren had done the sexpot thing as well as more mature acting work and had multiple awards and international acclaim. Sofia needs to step it up, methinks… although you big fans of her body of work (Ah. Ha. Ha.) will probably disagree. On the other hand, Danny Trejo looks like he fell down a mountain on is face a few too many thousand feet, but that mug has brought him fame, fortune and a variety of roles that has cemented him a place in the hearts of many. Er, sort of. Given that he dies a lot in the stuff he makes, it’s finally good to see him playing a somewhat invincible dude you don’t want to mess with!
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!
OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.
Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…
Random Art: Another From The Vaults, Fan Art Division…
Did I post this old art already? Who knows? I don’t think I did, but I can’t sleep tonight (well, this morning) and needed to do something before I went bananas. Anyway, this is a scan of a bad photocopy of postcard fan art I did for Dark Horse Comics back around 1994.I did a bunch of these in black and white and color and I believe all got published in a few issues of Diamond Previews catalogs over the course of a year or so. I haven’t done much color art since, but I’m tempted every so often. I’m not a big fan of digital color myself (well, I can’t do it very well), so if I do dive back into this illustration thing, it’ll be old school watercolor and mixed media for me. Hmm… I’m feeling a bit sleepier just typing this post, so perhaps this is working after all…
Stuff You Can’t Unsee: So Much For Good Star Wars Memories…
Eep, Opp, Ork, Ugh. To quote a certain dark Jedi, NOOOOOOOOOO!
OK, I automatically shut down the thought of even looking at any images or reading up on a lot of info when George Lucas sold off Star Wars to Disney, but this picture popped up in an email I got the other day and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously because a few years back it would have been someone really good with Photoshop who cooked this up and not the reality it’s turned out to be…
Thief “The Bank Job” Pre-Order Bonus Has Me Thinking Stolen Thoughts…
…As in I’ve seen plenty of annoying comments from people who think this game will be awful because Looking Glass Studies isn’t working on it, the color palette is too blue and black, the “stealth” seems easier and so forth and so on. All of this by looking at movies and screens from a game that’s not even done. Wow, the psychic prowess on internet trolls is REMARKABLE sometimes (well, ALL the time), isn’t it? I say shut up and wait for that knock on the door that will be followed by a conk to the noggin if you were silly enough to fling that door wide open without checking first. It’ll be Garrett reminding you that this reboot is probably going to have some stuff you haven’t yet seen and might actually be fun if you pipe down and hold out for a demo and/or maybe some ratings (although, if you rely on those solely to buy games, there’s something mildly to moderately wrong with you). Opinions are only worth the time to read these days if the person is at least INFORMED, not speculating to the point of draining the brainpower of anyone who reads their scribblings about how little they know about everything and how that lack of fact makes them an “expert” because the scream the loudest and their soapbox has spinning rims or whatever…


