OK, I didn’t think it was possible, but it looks as if someone is actually putting the wretched mess Saturn 3 out on Blu-Ray. The otherwise great director Stanley Donen’s flawed folly of a feeble flick is headed out to retail on December 3, 2013 from the fine folks at Shout Factory.
This big budget sci-fi/horror non-epic non masterpiece (it’s not even a “so bad it’s good” experience) completely wastes the talents of all involved and is a total mess from start to finish. Thankfully, it looks as if the disc’s handful of bonus features just may save this one from being the “WTF did you get me this crap for?” movie of the year. Trust me, there’s not one redeemable quality about the theatrical version, but I know some movie fans find elements of this junk heap intriguing enough to want to go back and watch this a few too many times.
I can tell you now, not one of the actors in this makes the film fun to watch. Farrah Fawcett is a piece of talking wood and Harvey Keitel was dubbed terribly by what sounds like someone talking into a cardboard box and unless you like seeing Kirk Douglass’ aged ass cheeks and some of his other naked bits in a fight scene, your best bet for a “favorite” character is the murderous robot Hector. His design is unique, although as noted in my earlier RFotW review, it looks as if they built him too tall and had to chop off his head so he could fit onto the fancy sets that were built for this awful movie.
Meh, I know I can’t stop you from buying this one at all, but at least be aware if you haven’t seen this before that it stinks and is at best, amusing in a “I can’t believe this got made!” manner. Yeah, there are some laughs, but they’re at the expense of everything positive this film is aiming for. I say have another of Donen’s MUCH better movies on tap via Netflix or DVD or whatever/wherever else legal you can acquire them from just to wash the bad taste this one will leave in your head right on out. If I didn’t scare you off, feel free to click over to the Shout Factory site and pay five bucks less for this than the $26.99 it’s going to retail for. You can thank me later… or at least get me a little something with the money you’ve saved…