THIEF Launch Trailer: So Much For the Element of Surprise, Huh?

 
Hey Garrett! The jig’s up, you know. SOMEONE decided to shoot out this launch trailer BEFORE your crafty little game has shipped out so now EVERYONE will know what you’re up to and perhaps NOT want to let such a skilled thief into their homes. You’re not going to succeed in your burgling ways if everyone tapes shut their windows, triple-bars their doors and gets a guard dog for the guard dog. Ha! You think you’re still going to get around safely now that we all know that you’re up to (or will be on February 25)? Yeah, well… good luck with that, pal. I think it was someone at Square Enix or Eidos, by the way (in case you want to get all clubby and stabby or something). You go take care of them and maybe you’ll see a few folks who didn’t see this post pop up on launch day to pick you up and take you home with them. You KNOW what to do after that, correct? I thought so…

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You Don’t Need Six Reasons To Get These Two Films From Criterion…

But here they go, trying to convince you you need convincing:

Look, if you’ve never seen Stanley Kramer’s It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World by now, you NEED to and Criterion’s five-disc Blu-Ray is a must buy, period.

 
As for Michael Mann’s Thief, yeah, it’s a more modern classic as well as a brilliant film that’s a great keeper.

So yeah, short post because it’s snowing like hell and they’re kicking people out of the library. Go buy one or both of these and thank me later. I hate you, Criterion for making me want to spend more money. Boo. And Yay. You’re just TOO damn good at what you do these days…

Thief “Stories From The City” Video Won’t Steal Your Heart (But Your Wallet Is Suddenly Lighter)…

Poor Garrett needs a little love and fast. The internet trolls under every bridge leading to Eidos Montreal’s HQ are pooping out so many negative comments about a game they’ve yet to play based on nothing but some in progress gameplay footage and a lack of perspective and understanding game development that the new Thief may be doomed before it even leaves the studio. Of course, people like me will give the game a shot because we have no psychic powers and tend to believe in developers who try to make good games worth playing.

Granted, yes, the original Thief and its first sequel were brilliant and should be more aspired to than outright copied and so far, it looks as if this new game is going in a different direction than some fans want. However… it’s not complete and no one has played a final build yet, so I say perhaps wait a bit before you angry gamer types whip out the torches and pitchforks. Eidos’ PR department (or Square Enix’) is going to need to do something clever (or just smart – there’s a difference) to get some of the naysayers on board the Thief train, so I guess I may as well break out the popcorn and watch stuff unfold as that February 2014 release rolls around…

Thief “The Bank Job” Pre-Order Bonus Has Me Thinking Stolen Thoughts…

…As in I’ve seen plenty of annoying comments from people who think this game will be awful because Looking Glass Studies isn’t working on it, the color palette is too blue and black, the “stealth” seems easier and so forth and so on. All of this by looking at movies and screens from a game that’s not even done. Wow, the psychic prowess on internet trolls is REMARKABLE sometimes (well, ALL the time), isn’t it? I say shut up and wait for that knock on the door that will be followed by a conk to the noggin if you were silly enough to fling that door wide open without checking first. It’ll be Garrett reminding you that this reboot is probably going to have some stuff you haven’t yet seen and might actually be fun if you pipe down and hold out for a demo and/or maybe some ratings (although, if you rely on those solely to buy games, there’s something mildly to moderately wrong with you). Opinions are only worth the time to read these days if the person is at least INFORMED, not speculating to the point of draining the brainpower of anyone who reads their scribblings about how little they know about everything and how that lack of fact makes them an “expert” because the scream the loudest and their soapbox has spinning rims or whatever…

Gamescom 2013: Thief “Uprising” Trailer: Garrett’s Got A 2014 Date With You (Lock Your Stuff Down)…

Well, for whatever good THAT will do, as it’ll just make him want to make YOU unconscious faster so he can have at that lock you paid good money for. Look, just make it easy on yourself, people: When February 25, 2014 rolls around, just pretend Santa is coming down that chimney, but instead of leaving out some milk and cookies, you just put out a plate of valuables and a note to not hit you upside the noggin with that blackjack. Hell, he’ll even take that hideous costume jewelry you were planning on donating to Goodwill, as anything he can sell all goes to getting his gear upgraded.

Of course, if you’re jerking his chain and plan to ONLY put out the cheap stuff while stuffing that Pink Panther somewhere… er, safe and warm. Oh, he’ll figure that out FAST. He’s been watching you all week and when you walk with that gem stuffed where the sun doesn’t shine, he’ll see that right away. Just so you know, it’s exactly these sort of observation skills that make an excellent thief…

E3 2013: Thief Trailer: Garrett’s The ONE Burglar You’ll Want To Visit Your Home…

Hey, he’s not real, he just wants your virtual stuff (especially if it’s sort of glowing as if it’s telling him where it’s at) and if you pop up and try and stop him, the worst thing that can happen is you’ll end waking up with a fake knot on your noggin upside down in a broom closet (blame the physics getting a bit wonky when he dropped your unconscious body into that quick storage solution). Ladies, you’ll probably get a fake rose and a fake peck on the cheek for waking up as he’s poking around for that fist-sized emerald you didn’t know you had, so feel free to file a fake discrimination complaint against him with that fake police report. Or something like that…

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New Thief 4 Trailer: Hmmm, Now You Need A New Logo, Too…


 

He’s baaaaack… and before you know it, you’re waking up with a headache, your purse full of gold is long gone and if he needed a disguise and you were the right size, so are your pantaloons. Poor (and now poorer you). That wasn’t some April Fool who clubbed you and cut your purse either. No news on exactly WHEN this one will be all done, but I’d bet that’s the way the man himself wants it. Hell, would YOU tell your mark you were good and ready to swipe their stuff? Then again, a good thief loves a challenge, right? This could get interesting, folks… stay tuned…