Today, A Somewhat Cheesy Poem

brie

From cheesemaking.com (as I have no actual brie here, sadly)

Oh, dear.  I found this “poem” on an old hard drive that I transferred some data from and well, it’s kind of Stilton stinky.  I think I wrote this a long time back after a trip to France and before realizing that you just can’t get cheese made in the U.S. of A. with unpasteurized milk (because we’re so wimpy about food here unless it’s loaded with sugar, salt, fat with a big ad campaign touting how great it is).  Well, you can make it yourself, but it’s a daunting process not for the weak-willed or those who don’t like great cheese, heh).

 

 

The funniest thing here is I’m currently playing the almost flawless game Moss on a friend’s PS4 (as he’s got a full PSVR setup and I don’t), so that tale about a cute adventuring mouse named Quill somehow fits (or apologizes for) my metered scribbling below.  Well, let me get back to that because I certainly am not getting paid a dime to write verse so un-terse. Um, enjoy?

Real Brie

Ah, real Brie, it has a rind
That foiled stuff? ‘Tis so unkind!
And “flavor?” What? Don’t make me mad
That’s not the curd you want to have!

I’m sure it tastes fine to those chumps
with extra-wide Velveeta rumps
You toss that back, not down the hatch
and do the same with all that batch!

That cow who laughs may get irate
but that sort of “cheese” is just bear-bait
Good Camembert or Neufchâtel
Will send that plastic stuff to hell

Of course, for those who don’t know best
That “flavored” stuff will pass the test
Its fancy foil that fools the eye
the palate uninformed won’t cry

Once spread upon a Thin of Wheat
It soon becomes a favorite treat
Before you know, that poor soul’s hooked
and never knowing they’ve been so rooked

Just stick with actual Brie and more
Get cranky with your favorite store
And shop elsewhere if they still foist
That metal coated “cheese’ that’s moist!

-GW

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Holiday Gift Guide 1: Let’s Get Physical!

It’s been quite interesting living in an all-too digital world and seeing how gifting has changed for many folks who go that route with nearly every purchase. Me? I like giving and receiving actual product for the most part unless it’s a case where the only way to get something is via a code voucher of some sort. That said, I feel kind of bad for kids raised in this era where some parents or other tech-savvy adults seem to hate on the very idea of handing a kid something nicely wrapped that’s NOT another gift card that devalues over time if not used up for a place they’ll never visit in person. So, in the interest of getting you out of the house and offline for oh, maybe an hour or two, I’m tossing a few suggestions your way (which are also available in digital form if you like).

Lego Worlds PS4_NALEGO Worlds (PC/PS4/Xbox One/Switch)- Ever-busy developer TT Games pulls out all the stops in this great sandbox game that’s packed with content and a ton of freedom once you get past the tutorial and early story missions. This is one of those great family games that’s so much fun to play you’ll want to sneak in some time alone once that kid is asleep.

On the other hand, you’d very likely want to play this with your kid or at least have a second controller handy as the game supports up to 2 players in either online or offline modes. Hours will zip by when this is on, but at least you won’t need to worry about stepping on loose LEGO pieces or having the family pet making them disappear after they smack part of what you’ve built under the sofa.

 

Crash Bandicoot PS4_NACrash Bandicoot N. Sane Game & Sock Bundle Pack (PS4)- Can’t decide on getting games or socks for the holidays? Got a relative who auto-buys you socks because he or she has zero clue about games? Why not get BOTH with this bundle of completely remastered PS1 classics that include the first three games in the series lovingly reworked by Vicarious Visions with tons of new HD specific features?

Between the redone visuals, the ability to play as Coco Bandicoot in all three games and a bunch of great stuff only those true masters of unlocking will get to see (yes, the games are as challenging as ever)l you get SOCKS you’ll probably actually wear at some point. But don’t try and stuff those stockings on the box with the game, as that would make for weird gift to receive and probably stretch out one of those socks in the process.

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