Review: Heavy Fire: Red Shadow (PS4)

Posted on November 5, 2018 by geelw

While previous games in the Heavy Fire series have been on-rails shooters a tiny bit (but not exactly) like a non-gun controller version of Time Crisis with a whiff of modern military shooters set in fictional locations based on real word military hot zones, Heavy Fire: Red Shadow ($19.99) is more than a little reminiscent of the arcade version of Beach Head 2000. For those with short memories (or those who’ve never played that older game), it was a fixed turret shooter where you mowed down enemy troops and vehicles, blasted planes out of the sky and pretty much laid waste to as much as you could in a 360 degree radius until you were overrun (or just ran out of credits). While a bit on the shallow side in terms of gameplay depth, this latest installment packs in enough stress relieving bang for the buck that keeps it replayable.

Well, provided you don’t mind dealing with a few troubling bugs that really need patching.

“Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…” Ha. Ha. (BOOM!), Now you have quite a few too many guns.

That said, I’d gather that some fans of the series from its beginnings as digital titles on the Nintendo 3DS may be disappointed in this because of the lack of co-op play, which a game such as this kind of needs to spread the fun past one’s home. You do get PSVR support in the retail packaged version that adds some “in your face” moments (usually in those moments when you’re yelling exactly that to some enemies on the receiving end of whatever ordinance you’re blasting or calling down on them). But those plain-ish visuals tend to get a bit mushy in VR compared to other games using the format. Granted, it’s not supposed to be a “great” game in that way some games become “instant classics” these days. But, if you just love all sorts of digital pyrotechnics and can bear the bugs, step on up and have a seat – it’s your turn at the turret.

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Review: Home Sweet Home (PS4)

Posted on October 30, 2018 by geelw

(Soothing TV announcer voice, circa 1978): “Constipated? 9 out of 10 doctors* recommend Home Sweet Home ($29.99) for fast relief. Easy to apply vie handy and discrete PSN download or in a GameStop exclusive retail version, this not at all soothing horror adventure game works within minutes so you can get back to doing the things you love. Remember – for fast relief, Just say Home Sweet Home…”

Yes, that’s right. Provided you’re not a too-jaded horror game player who’s seen it all, this one will scare the living crap out of you. Well, given that poop isn’t supposed to be alive when it’s making a hasty retreat, that may be a good thing. Here’s a funny for you: back about two years ago, I played the demo for this on PC and wrote about it, but kind of forgot all that because, hey, life happens. However, as soon as the game installed and I hit that start button, a sense of déjà vu followed by creeping dread washed over me. Eep. Yeah, this was not going to go well for my heart, folks.

Oooh, choices! Do I go left, do I go right, or do I go hide under a blanket after I turn the game off because I’m too freaked out to continue? *Sigh* ONWARD, as I have a review to write!

Anyway, to me, this game is SCARY, plus tax. How scary? Well, If Kriss Kross will make you Jump, you’re guaranteed to jump at least five times as much here if you’re easily frightened. You’re unarmed, many rooms are tight, detritus filled death traps where doors open to brick walls or other surprises of the surreal nature and worst of all, you’re often searching for clues to puzzles as the game’s box cutter wielding scary lady and a few other creeps do their level best to make you wet yourself. There’s nothing like being all stealthy and avoiding instant death for a few tense minutes, slipping between rooms and gathering clues to progress, only to finally unlock a door and jump out of your seat when something… nasty pops into view. And there’s a hell of a lot of nasty in this game.

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Mail Call: The Dogs of War and Other Scary Stuff

Posted on October 28, 2018 by geelw

Well, I thought I had a small buy very busy weekend of not much but That Western Game, but more diversions have arrived.

You have to love it when the weather is 100% dreary out with rain and wind keeping you indoors with some entertainment and MORE entertainment shows up. Thanks to Mastiff Games (Hi, Bill!, Hi Mika! Hi David!), I have a some stuff to tackle outside of playing cowboy. I took an hour or so off the big deal game to take both titles shown for a spin and one made me smile a lot and the other… well, let’s just say it made me creeped out enough to write up a review opening that’s going to raise an eyebrow or two (in a good way, I guess). Well, it’ll be partially funny with a chance of showers (at the very least).

Oh, and that old Silent Hill guide? That’s from the always amazing David Bruno who packed it along with the games shown. I’m going to do a Halloween play through of that classic I’ve gone through about a dozen times previously, but it’s been a while since my last run. The guide is kind of my safety net on one hand, but I also want to see if one particular puzzle is correct because I recall from my days in game retail that one guide has the incorrect solution to a puzzle that had dozens of customers calling up to say they were stuck on that one problem area (oops).

-GW

Today, A Somewhat Cheesy Poem

Posted on July 1, 2018 by geelw

From cheesemaking.com (as I have no actual brie here, sadly)

Oh, dear. I found this “poem” on an old hard drive that I transferred some data from and well, it’s kind of Stilton stinky. I think I wrote this a long time back after a trip to France and before realizing that you just can’t get cheese made in the U.S. of A. with unpasteurized milk (because we’re so wimpy about food here unless it’s loaded with sugar, salt, fat with a big ad campaign touting how great it is). Well, you can make it yourself, but it’s a daunting process not for the weak-willed or those who don’t like great cheese, heh).

The funniest thing here is I’m currently playing the almost flawless game Moss on a friend’s PS4 (as he’s got a full PSVR setup and I don’t), so that tale about a cute adventuring mouse named Quill somehow fits (or apologizes for) my metered scribbling below. Well, let me get back to that because I certainly am not getting paid a dime to write verse so un-terse. Um, enjoy?

Real Brie

Ah, real Brie, it has a rind
That foiled stuff? ‘Tis so unkind!
And “flavor?” What? Don’t make me mad
That’s not the curd you want to have!

I’m sure it tastes fine to those chumps
with extra-wide Velveeta rumps
You toss that back, not down the hatch
and do the same with all that batch!

That cow who laughs may get irate
but that sort of “cheese” is just bear-bait
Good Camembert or Neufchâtel
Will send that plastic stuff to hell

Of course, for those who don’t know best
That “flavored” stuff will pass the test
Its fancy foil that fools the eye
the palate uninformed won’t cry

Once spread upon a Thin of Wheat
It soon becomes a favorite treat
Before you know, that poor soul’s hooked
and never knowing they’ve been so rooked

Just stick with actual Brie and more
Get cranky with your favorite store
And shop elsewhere if they still foist
That metal coated “cheese’ that’s moist!

-GW

Holiday Gift Guide 1: Let’s Get Physical!

Posted on December 12, 2017 by geelw

It’s been quite interesting living in an all-too digital world and seeing how gifting has changed for many folks who go that route with nearly every purchase. Me? I like giving and receiving actual product for the most part unless it’s a case where the only way to get something is via a code voucher of some sort. That said, I feel kind of bad for kids raised in this era where some parents or other tech-savvy adults seem to hate on the very idea of handing a kid something nicely wrapped that’s NOT another gift card that devalues over time if not used up for a place they’ll never visit in person. So, in the interest of getting you out of the house and offline for oh, maybe an hour or two, I’m tossing a few suggestions your way (which are also available in digital form if you like).

LEGO Worlds (PC/PS4/Xbox One/Switch)- Ever-busy developer TT Games pulls out all the stops in this great sandbox game that’s packed with content and a ton of freedom once you get past the tutorial and early story missions. This is one of those great family games that’s so much fun to play you’ll want to sneak in some time alone once that kid is asleep.

On the other hand, you’d very likely want to play this with your kid or at least have a second controller handy as the game supports up to 2 players in either online or offline modes. Hours will zip by when this is on, but at least you won’t need to worry about stepping on loose LEGO pieces or having the family pet making them disappear after they smack part of what you’ve built under the sofa.

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Game & Sock Bundle Pack (PS4)- Can’t decide on getting games or socks for the holidays? Got a relative who auto-buys you socks because he or she has zero clue about games? Why not get BOTH with this bundle of completely remastered PS1 classics that include the first three games in the series lovingly reworked by Vicarious Visions with tons of new HD specific features?

Between the redone visuals, the ability to play as Coco Bandicoot in all three games and a bunch of great stuff only those true masters of unlocking will get to see (yes, the games are as challenging as ever)l you get SOCKS you’ll probably actually wear at some point. But don’t try and stuff those stockings on the box with the game, as that would make for weird gift to receive and probably stretch out one of those socks in the process.