Oh, dear. I found this “poem” on an old hard drive that I transferred some data from and well, it’s kind of Stilton stinky. I think I wrote this a long time back after a trip to France and before realizing that you just can’t get cheese made in the U.S. of A. with unpasteurized milk (because we’re so wimpy about food here unless it’s loaded with sugar, salt, fat with a big ad campaign touting how great it is). Well, you can make it yourself, but it’s a daunting process not for the weak-willed or those who don’t like great cheese, heh).
The funniest thing here is I’m currently playing the almost flawless game Moss on a friend’s PS4 (as he’s got a full PSVR setup and I don’t), so that tale about a cute adventuring mouse named Quill somehow fits (or apologizes for) my metered scribbling below. Well, let me get back to that because I certainly am not getting paid a dime to write verse so un-terse. Um, enjoy?
Ah, real Brie, it has a rind
That foiled stuff? ‘Tis so unkind!
And “flavor?” What? Don’t make me mad
That’s not the curd you want to have!
I’m sure it tastes fine to those chumps
with extra-wide Velveeta rumps
You toss that back, not down the hatch
and do the same with all that batch!
That cow who laughs may get irate
but that sort of “cheese” is just bear-bait
Good Camembert or Neufchâtel
Will send that plastic stuff to hell
Of course, for those who don’t know best
That “flavored” stuff will pass the test
Its fancy foil that fools the eye
the palate uninformed won’t cry
Once spread upon a Thin of Wheat
It soon becomes a favorite treat
Before you know, that poor soul’s hooked
and never knowing they’ve been so rooked
Just stick with actual Brie and more
Get cranky with your favorite store
And shop elsewhere if they still foist
That metal coated “cheese’ that’s moist!