Doctor Who Goes To The Movies (And Yes, You’re Invited!)…

Posted on July 25, 2014 by geelw

Ha. I figured this would happen, so it’s nice to have the option of seeing the first Peter Capaldi episode on the big screen or at home. Naturally, the theatrical version will have more footage (that’s going to pop up eventually on TV) and sure, you can dress up if you wish (and if you dress up at home, I don’t need to know unless you’re importing Jelly Babies and want to share). I’ll most likely stick to my living room for the entire season just because there aren’t any theaters where I live now, the nearest one takes some time to get to and the tickets are quite overpriced. That said, options are always a good thing (but not having a movie theater in a neighborhood that had five or six at one point is a damn shame, grrrr!)…

Random Film of the Week(end): The Punisher (2004)

Posted on July 19, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, Flauntvids!)

When I finally got around to seeing the 2004 version of The Punisher last week, I was wondering how I missed this one back then in theaters (although I’d not pay a dime to see this flick) or on cable. Then I realized that the film came out when I was in a crazy jobless phase and had chopped out any ideas of spending money to hit the local theater (or any other theater for that matter) until I was back in the black.

Well, even if I’d wanted to see this gloomy and unintentionally hilarious (yet erratically violent) movie, I’d have chosen to save my money. While it works on a basic level of grunting guys saying unintelligible stuff before trying to out-kill each other, the film is far too uneven to be entertaining unless there’s someone on screen getting killed in a ridiculous manner. Where the first (and forgotten by most, save for the more die-hard Marvel movie fans) Punisher film from 1989 was an automatic camp cult classic thanks to Dolph Lundgren’s grumbling and mumbling through the role as sullen serial gangster murderer Frank Castle, some cheesy sets and laughable action scenes, this reboot tries a wee bit too hard to capture the mood of 70’s and 80’s action films to the point that it feels a wee bit outdated on a few fronts… Continue reading →

MOEBIUS: Horror Fans, The Unkindest Cut of All Is Coming Your Way in August…

Posted on July 1, 2014 by geelw

Ouch. Just reading the description for RAM Releasing’s upcoming horror film MOEBIUS should get a few guys to slam their knees together like a bear trap with a hair trigger mechanism:

When she catches her husband having an affair, a woman attempts to castrate the cheater for his wrongdoing. Unsuccessful, she instead inflicts the unspeakable act on her own son, setting off a series of grotesque yet provocative events ranging from a hurried genital transplant to pain-inflicted orgasms that all merge in a continuous thread of delirious storytelling. With both husband and son damaged and living in grief, the wife returns as the family heads towards destruction even more horrific than before.

Kim Ki-Duk, whose signature style pushes the limits of challenging filmmaking and often blows right through them, won the Golden Lion with PIETA at the Venice Film Festival last year. The prolific director is set to shock audiences again with Moebius, his latest perverse statement on family tensions, sexual boundaries and society’s issues with each.

During August, the film will get a limited run release in North America at the following theaters:

Los Angeles – August 8 – The Cinefamily, 611 N. Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90036

New York – August 15 – Cinema Village, 22 E. 12th St, New York, NY 10003

Chicago – August 22 – Facets, 1517 W. Fullerton Ave, Chicago, IL 60614

before making its Video on Demand (VOD) debut on August 29 via all major providers (Comcast, Time Warner, Cox, Verizon, etc.) and digital VOD at iTunes, Amazon Instant, Google Play, Vudu, Xbox, Playstation, Rovi and Samsung Hub.

Yeah, I’ll be reviewing this one in August – I have a screener on the way, but I may need a teddy bear, a blanket, a few bottles of wine and a noise-canceling room to block my screaming. My knees hurt already from slamming together, so I can’t wait to see what the actual film does… O__o

Dracula Untold Trailer: I’ve Got The Overbite Rewritten Blues…

Posted on June 27, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, CBM Trailers!)

Hmmm… suspicions confirmed. Dracula gets retold, so it’s officially “Dracula Untold” now, thus the need for a reboot of this magnitude. Big, loud, full of CG effects and hey, why not let’s get that hot singer du jour Lorde to do the theme song you’ll more than very likely hear as part of the end credits and want to download at some point? *Sigh*… Oh well. The young ones will eat it up, the weekly movie-goers will pay their money as usual, the older curmudgeonly critics will lament the lack of Lugosi’s accented mumbling sexy style, while others trumpet it as “sexier than Twilight” in those tween magazines and online haunts for the Emo chicky/Hot Topic crowd. Everyone wins… well, not really, but so goes the modern vampire movie – into the past with lots of the present 9and too much for my more mundane horror tastes). Eh, October isn’t so far away, so perhaps my mind will be changed? We shall see (as usual)…

Random Film of the Week: KONGA

Posted on June 24, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, Movie Trailer Graveyard!)

While it’s not the worst man in a gorilla suit sci-fi/horror hybrid out there (Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla or A*P*E*, anyone?) 1961’s KONGA is nevertheless a terrifyingly bad movie that’s worth a watch for a few reasons. You’ll marvel at the ferocious, scenery chewing by Michael Gough’s mad botanist/scientist Dr. Charles Decker, the kitchen sink plot that tosses in carnivorous plants, terrible, inaccurate science, botany and biology, a love triangle that’s actually a square that gets whittled away corner by corner as the film progresses and some mostly lousy special effects that make this a total howler. I’ll get back to the ape suit later and the man in it, as both are another key to making this film so hysterically funny.

You have to admire a film that wants you to believe that Dr. Decker returns from his year-long trip to Africa (he’s actually missing and presumed dead!) with some strange ideas, some recipes for a serum that can make plants and animals grow to extreme sizes and a cute baby chimpanzee. His plant experiments end up creating a number of oversize man-eating varieties including (eek) some that look like gigantic black rubber penises with green veins a’poppin’ and red tongues hanging out (seriously). Before that rolls around in your head too much, Decker’s real showpiece is Konga, that baby chimpanzee he gives his serum who SOMEHOW changes into a gorilla (Wait, WHAT? Science takes another hit, folks POW!) before using his new “pet” to get revenge on a few of his peers (spoilers inbound, but it doesn’t matter because even if it’s all given away, this one’s worth seeing for the laughs it provides)… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: Forbidden Planet

Posted on June 18, 2014 by geelw

Even though the first time I saw Forbidden Planet was when I was about five or six years old on a medium-sized black and white TV with not always perfect reception and the film was rather horribly panned and scanned from what I recall, I fell in love with it and it’s remained one of my favorite science fiction films. I’ve since seen it countless times and it remains quite a fun film to watch thanks to everything melding together so flawlessly (including its handful of flaws).

I think it was also one of the first movies I actually remember looking at the music credits for and being surprised that two people composed the “electronic tonalities” that were buzzing my eardrums and pleasantly sinking into my brain’s recesses. Louis and Bebe Barron’s impressive score drove home right away that this was no ordinary 1950’s flick with a low budget and cast of no-names mugging it up for the camera. I’ll also admit to thinking director Fred Wilcox was a relation, but I think my mother or father pointed out that many people have the same last name who aren’t related at all (but I don’t think I believed her at the time). Flash forward a few years later and when I finally saw the film in color on a huge TV in its original widescreen format, I was even more floored thanks to the beautiful color palette and (mostly) still impressive visual effects. I was also a bit jealous because back in 1956, it must have been blowing audiences back in their seats to see this on a massive Cinerama screen with those sounds booming from multiple theater speakers… Continue reading →

Dracula Untold Posters: Bats Just Nuts, I Say…

Posted on June 17, 2014 by geelw

Hmmm. I guess I should wait and see what the trailers look like for this upcoming Universal Pictures/Legendary Pictures co-production, but I can’t help myself about whipping out a bat of my own and swinging at these poster designs. They look cool and all, but if you’re not the only one getting a serious Batman vibe from these two like I did, well keep looking and you’ll see the same things I’m seeing. Again, I won’t judge the film at all based on the posters, but at least it seems to be set during the “proper” time period and not some “Hey, let’s move the classic vampire into the modern age!” fail face that certain popular franchise TV shows and films have done over the years. Granted, for my money there hasn’t been a truly GREAT Dracula film in many years, so this one’s got a good deal to live up to. As long as it’s better than that reboot of The Wolfman from a few years back, it just might be a good time. as always, we shall see…

Sorry, 20th Century Fox. Your Throwback Tease Was Too Rich For My Blood…

Posted on June 14, 2014 by geelw

So, I get an email on Thursday from 20th Century Fox’s YouTube channel about Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and it gets me grinning because I’d been thinking of picking this up at some point and thought this was news of a lower-priced reissue. HA! I clicked that link under the trailer and got sent straight to Amazon, where the movie’s 2-disc DVD set is still commanding a whopping $70 (eek!). Um, thanks, but no thanks, folks.

Hell, at that exorbitant price point, I’ll just lurk around TCM and wait for them to show it again one late, late evening (or too early in the morning, actually). Of course, getting any Russ Mayer flick for under the cost of a body part is tricky these days if you live in the US and want a legal version. But man, owning them all must sure be a heck of a thing if you display your collection proudly and have to explain the man’s work to friends and relatives who’ve never seen anything he’s done. Good luck with that!

Random Film of the Week(end): Not With My Wife, You Don’t!

Posted on June 7, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, Night of the Trailers!)

Yikes. Depending on your tastes, Norman’s Panama’s 1966 Sex comedy Not With My Wife, You Don’t! is going to be a very funny film or one you can’t stand. That’s because this sort of humor is SO dated that some will consider the film extremely sexist to a fault (it is) while others who can slip into the mood of the era comfortably will find it a rollicking good time with a nice all-star cast, some lovely Technicolor photography and a fun Saul Bass title sequence that’s one of his quirkiest (see below).

Me, I kind of straddled the fence before falling into the latter yard. While it has its moments and yes, some wonderful shots of Air Force jets in action that make it a must see, the film hasn’t aged well at all as it flops and flails about in too many attempts to be a slapstick comedy while tossing around its questionable content with the hope it always lands on its feet…

(thanks Movie Titles!)

Continue reading →

The Green Inferno: Eli Roth Lets The “Save The Planet” Crowd Have Both Barrels…

Posted on June 2, 2014 by geelw

So, what’s up in the jungle, Jim? Not much but lots of death and leftovers! Anyway, here’s the plot of this upcoming horror flick, suitable for no one under the age of slashenteen without a cast iron stomach:

A group of college students take their humanitarian protest from New York to the Amazon jungle only to get kidnapped by the native tribe they came to save. A tribe that still practices the ancient tribal rite of cannibalism, with a healthy appetite for intruders.

(thanks, Movieclips Trailers!)
Well, there goes my plans to visit even the nearest sunny park around here at this point. Guaranteed to cause all sorts of outrage when it’s released (mostly among people who won’t see it under any circumstances, I’d bet), The Green Inferno is a throwback to the gory glory days of exploitation horror films and nope, I’m not planning on seeing this in a theater at all.

If I do decide to commit to this flick and it’s NOT a media screening with relatively normal people in attendance squealing and hiding under the seats, it’ll be in the comfort of my own home where I can shut it off and find something else to do if I’m feeling queasy. I’m gathering the home video and/or cable versions will have more footage and on disc, I’d hope there’s a nice behind the scenes documentary that gets into how this was made. I didn’t make it through Cannibal Holocaust (this film’s inspiration) in one sitting, but I think I can handle this… I think… (cue creepy music that gets me wanting to go watch a Caillou box set instead on a permanent loop)…